MIDLIFE CRISIS? I DON'T THINK SO.

Hello!

I've got to show you what I did last Friday! 

Anyone who has been here for any length of time knows I'm completely enamored with vivid hair color.  

I've wanted to get some done since the days of the bright red streaks trend of the early 2000s, but of course, I was too chicken to get it done. I loved it and thought it was cute, but except for Halloween, and the unfortunate purple dye job I gave myself on accident as a teenager (I swear to God I thought the box was for auburn dye) my hair has been about as normal as it could be. I mean, I did dabble in some blue-green and red temporary overdye, but my hair has been so dark that it wasn't that noticeable.

While I worked for the church, the pastor asked me if I would not get any kind of funky color, because he didn't think it was appropriate for me to do as the receptionist there, and even though that sucked, I agreed. Sometimes we do what we have to do, even when we don't want to do it.

However, since I've been going to a proper salon to get my hair cut, and since I've got a grown-up job at a non-religious company, I have a lot more freedom to do what I want to myself. Well, except maybe get a face tattoo, but A) I don't want one of those and B) I don't think I'd get fired for it or anything, but they wouldn't like it.

At any rate, the guy who cuts my hair (Tony) told me about some of the coloring things that I could do if I ever decided I wanted to actually take the plunge. I could start fairly subtle to see if I liked it, and if I did, I could do more later. Of course, I knew that, but I think it took someone who knows hair to tell me more about it, you know what I mean? 

I was literally at home, thinking I might book an appointment with Tony to try one of the really subtle color treatments he was telling me about, when I got on Instagram and saw that a stylist who had cut my hair a few years ago (one I still follow) was calling for a hair modeling volunteer to do some color work on. I'd only have to pay for the dye, and she would be able to use the pictures in her portfolio/social media. She'd added some photos, and those were NOT subtle colors she was wanting to use, but I thought, why not?

I volunteered.

Honestly, I thought someone else would have already jumped at the chance to get professional coloring done for a discount, but apparently this technique that she wanted to do is fairly new, and not a lot of people wanted to be a test subject for it, and she told me I could do it! Whee!!!

First off, I thought she was in Huntsville, but she wasn't. She was at the Wheelhouse Salon in Birmingham, which was not great, but it would be fine. I mean, driving in Birmingham is not something I'm good at, mainly because I don't know where anything is and there is a lot of traffic, and during a work day, it's nerve-wracking, but after almost having a thousand wrecks, I finally made it! My appointment was at 1:00 on Friday afternoon.

It took 7 hours. SEVEN HOURS, Y'all. I thought I was going to climb out of my skin. I knew it would take a while, but seven hours? Geez Louise. The stylist was busy the entire time, too. It took 3 hours to color the roots and ends, foil and bleach out my natural color, about an hour and a half to add on the color, and the rest of that time was washing it out, styling it, and taking pictures.

You know what, though? I effing love it. I love it so much I can't stand it!!!!

I let the stylist pick the colors she wanted to use, if you're wondering why it's mostly green, but I did get to choose whether or not we used warm or cool colors. Apparently, the style is supposed to look like a shaft of colored light lying across your hair, which I think it does. It also reminds me of an old LCD screen, or a mood ring. I think it's beautiful, and the stylist did a great job on it.

The photos were taken right after she was done coloring it, and she curled my hair, so the way I fix it everyday makes it look slightly more subtle, if neon green can be subtle. 

Of course, vivid color doesn't stay bright for always, but I'm doing my best to not wash it out too soon. So far, everyone who's seen it has really liked it, or at least they're lying to be about liking it if they don't! I don't really care if anyone else likes it or not, since it's my hair and I like it, and I've reached the "fuck it and fuck you" stage of life where I'm not as self-conscious as I used to be and realize that life is very short. Get the bright hair, wear the wild tie, or do the bad karaoke song, as long as you aren't hurting anyone. If anyone has a problem with my hair, then they are probably boring, think bottle blonde is daring, and need more whimsy in their life. 

I hope you find some whimsy of your own today! 

BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY. AGAIN. DAY 4 & BEYOND

Sorry, guys. 

This is going to be very anticlimactic, but really, all I did on day 4 was fly home. It wasn't even that exciting of a flight home. From LAX to Atlanta (grrrrr) I listened to an audio novel that immediately put me to sleep, played trivia on the plane's entertainment system, ate snacks, and tried not to touch the stranger I was sitting next to. You know, the usual.

My flight kept getting delayed from Atlanta to Huntsville, so I had to change my flight altogether. That got me home much later than I had anticipated, but not even late enough to be angry about. There was a weird lady sitting next to me that gave me a weird vibe, but she didn't stand up and preach, nor did she try to bite me, so I can't complain that much!

I did stop at Taco Bell on the way home, because I was hungry, but half of my meal had lettuce on it, so I had to throw part of it away. That was the most frustrating part of the whole day!

Even though I was at a Disney park, I still had a fun, albeit quick, little vacation. I can appreciate that. I'm looking at places near the beach for my next short trip. Which beach? No idea. Any suggestions?

Now I've been back at work for a couple of weeks and have been very busy, surprisingly. We're getting deep into conference season, and I have been called on to help with graphics and event planning. The event planning isn't my cup of tea, but the graphics part is fun! Well, as fun as corporate graphic design can be! 

Hehe, an example of that fun: while I was working on a flyer, one of the marketing women said "Can you make the text blacker?" I bolded it, but that wasn't what she wanted. I made it bigger, but that wasn't what she wanted. I checked the hex code and the CMYK settings, but they were as black as they could go. She could never explain much more than it wasn't "Black" enough. She finally said that it was fine, but it still wasn't black enough. I never understood what she wanted, but I almost cried at my desk trying to figure it out.

BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY. AGAIN. DAY 3

I'm going to save you some time and just say - See yesterday's morning description because the same thing happened again on this day. Even down to the McDonald's breakfast. Don't judge me.

Since I spent the day in Disneyland yesterday, I didn't need to go back there, so I turned my attention to the Disney Adventure Park. It's still Disneyland, in the way that Animal Kingdom and Epcot are still a part of Disney World, but it's across the walkway. You turn left instead of right after going through security.

You know, as much of a pain as it can be, I'm very grateful that Disney has a security stop before you go into the parks. Even though 9 out of 10 people walking in are just going in for funzies, it'll be that 10th a-hole that brings a gun in that decides that the lady who broke in line deserves to die for it. There was actually a fight in line at the Florida park the other day. Did you see the footage of that? Holy crap, when did we forget how to be decent humans in big groups? Did we ever know how? 

Anywhoodle.

I got to the park early again, and this time it was nearly deserted. Well, relatively speaking for a Disney Park. The first thing I got on was Soarin', which was slightly different from the one in Florida. If you've never been, Soarin' is a...well...I guess you'd say it is a kind of hang-gliding simulator. That doesn't sound right, but I guess it's close. Basically, you're sitting in a seat that lifts in the air and there is a big-ass screen in front of you showing arial views of different landscapes from around the world. Along with music, they pipe in wind, and sounds, and smells depending on what the landscape in front of you is. It's neat. I will say, however, that during the scene that shows you flying above a cattle drive, whoever designed which smells were piped in to that scene had clearly never been around cows before. 

From there I went over to the "Cars" section of the park, and it was so cool! It was just like being in what I would imagine Radiator Springs would look like in real life. They have classic rock and pop songs about driving and cars piped in over the loud speakers and all of the buildings look like they were pulled directly out of the movie. It was impressive. I had a lightning lane pass for the main ride, which was a lot of fun, and I got to get on fairly quickly despite the very crowded (by this time) queue line. 

I'm not sure how I feel about lightning lanes. It just feels like "look at me, I can afford to get in line ahead of you! Peasants!" but also, it's nice to not have to stand in line for hours if you can score the lane pass. I haven't made up my mind yet.

It was hot again on this day, and somehow maybe even worse because the Disney Adventure Park has less shade and more concrete than the Disneyland park. The heat just kind of bounces around and hits you from a lot of different angles. It feels meaner than the heat at home. Southern heat feels like a well meaning, but very hot and very wet grandma, is wrapping you in a steamed towel. In California, it feels like God has dowsed you with hot water and put you in a microwave because He's angry.

There is a section of the park that is designed like an actual boardwalk amusement park, but of course, much fancier. It has the giant Ferris wheel with the Micky face on it that you see on their advertisements. I got on that mainly for the shade, but it was fun! I'm not sure that I've ever ridden a real Ferris wheel before then! It was quiet and the breeze was nice, and it got me away from the crowds temporarily. 

Next, I rode the Tower of Terror (or whatever Avenger's name they are calling it now) and then a roller coaster. A wild mouse style, I think it's called. Well, maybe not, because it had a loopty-loop, but whatever. It was an Incredibles themed roller coaster and friends, after the droppy-drop and the loopty-loop, that was almost curtains for me. I get so incredibly (heh) motion sick sometimes. My sinuses are part of the problem, and some inner ear issues are the other, but when it hits me, dear Lord, it hits me hard. The thing is, I never know for certain if it's going to happen on things like amusement park rides, or in the car, or getting up from a chair, or what. Once I got almost comically ill from playing a first-person-POV video game. My brain and my stomach clearly don't get along, and sometimes they fight. I got off of that last ride convinced I'd be back in another Disney Property bathroom trying to stay alive, but fortuitously, I found a rogue Zofran in my purse! I got some when I had my gall bladder taken out, and I must have thrown one in my small cross body bag! Hallelujah. It saved my dignity and the concrete. I'm very sad you can't get those over the counter, because they are magical.

I walked around a bit more, but honestly, there wasn't as much for me to do in that park. You can argue that both parks are made specifically for kids, but there is plenty for adults as well, usually. In this one, it felt much more geared to children, plus it was SO DAMN HOT that I left and went to lunch in Downtown Disney. I can't remember the name of the restaurant, but the food was good. I was seated by YET another group of children whose parents didn't give a damn about their behavior, and they were AGAIN doing high kicks and destroying the place around them, but then one kid did a high kick, somehow lost her balance, and landed on her face on the linoleum. Hard. God help me, I snorked. I tried not to, but...I mean. That did make everyone calm down a little, at least. 

Afterwards, I did what I did the day before and went back to the hotel, took a shower/nap, and changed clothes. I actually had another whole outfit I could wear! It was my University of Georgia outdoor outfit (It makes me look like the oldest UGA sorority social chair and I will not be explaining why I have this outfit) but when you need something cool to wear, you wear what you have. I did get one "Go Dawgs" from a cast member, so I'll be passing that along to someone who is an actual Georgia fan at a later date. 

I had made another dinner reservation at one of the swanky places inside the park, and again, I managed to get in early. I picked this restaurant solely because they had a cocktail on their menu that I have on my list. I can't remember if I've talked about my list or not and I can't be arsed to look before publishing this, but it was called a Pisco Sour, and it was amazing. It didn't make me sick, so I know it didn't have rum in it. The food was amazing too! It had cooled off considerably by the time I was done with dinner, so I did some souvenir shopping, went back to Downtown Disney to get ice cream at a place called "Salt and Straw" (I got the kind with mushrooms in it, and it was so very good.) and then went back to the hotel so I could see the fireworks from the balcony, looking left. I felt kind of bad that I didn't do more in the park, but it was fine, really. I did all the things I wanted to do, I almost barfed, and I had some alcohol and ice cream. What else did I need?

The blister on my foot was so much worse by this point that I was glad to be off of my feet, plus I had to go home the next day, so I repacked my backpack with clothes and souvenirs, got all my stuff together, and fell asleep. Thankfully my flight wasn't early the next day, so I could sleep in a bit. My Disneyland adventure was over, and it had been a lot of fun. Maybe minus the nausea, but even that was novel since I'd never been nauseous at Disneyland! 

(BTW, in case you're wondering why I'm not posting photos, I've been trying very hard to "be in the moment" while I've been traveling lately. I do take pictures, usually of my foot at places, but one day a while back I realized I had been spending so much time looking at things from behind my phone that I wasn't really SEEING what I was there to see or experiencing it as much as I could. God, that sounds pretentious, but I don't mean it to be. As much as I'd love a million photos of every place I travel, I think I'd rather have one or two photos and the memory of the experience. Maybe if I had a really nice camera, or was really talented as a photographer I'd feel differently, but looking at the world through my phone feels cheap, you know? No judgement on anyone who feels differently, though. That's just my vibe.)

BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY. AGAIN. DAY 2

I got up at the absolute butt crack of dawn. I was exhausted from the travel day before, but my internal clock is on Central Time, so I didn't have a choice. I got up and got ready for the day.

I didn't mention this before, but I managed to pack everything for the trip in a travel backpack! I've never been able to do that before for a multi-day trip! I still overpacked (it's a sickness) but I had managed to roll everything up in small, scrunched up bundles and get it all stuffed in there. It was very convenient! One day I'll learn to pack only what I need, but it was not this day.

Because I now knew that the weather was hot here, I decided to wear something that was supposed to be "moisture wicking" and "cooling." We will circle back to this in a little bit, so don't forget.

I stopped at the McDonald's next door for breakfast - McGriddles for the win! - and went on to the park.

One thing that doesn't happen at Disneyland that is very common in Disney World, is something called "Rope Dropping." For the unwashed, that is where attendees at the park wait in frothed-jaw, muscle-straining, eyes-on-the-prize anticipation for the eternally smiling cast members to unclip the barrier ropes into each part of the park so they can wheel their SUV sized strollers as fast as possible to whatever ride they have first on their Disney App itinerary. 

Yeah, you could tell who was from out of town by the people who were scrambling to get into the park first thing in the morning. I didn't do that simply because breakfast took longer than I thought, but otherwise I just got there, went through security, beeped my magic band, took my picture so that they could eventually use it in whatever AI program that they have to track your face (allegedly) and walked in!

The very first thing I noticed was that the Disneyland Cinderella castle was much smaller than Sleeping Beauty one at Disney World. I mean, it was adequate. A good size. I'm sure it does the job just fine! However, there was a part of me that wondered if they would eventually put a lift kit and a loud engine in it, just to let you know it's just as good at the Disney World castle, OK?!  

Heh.

Second thing I noticed was that it wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be! Genuinely, it was almost quiet in there first thing in the morning. It was nice, because it allowed you to get your bearings before some flustered mom in a homemade "I'm here with my dwarves" Cricut shirt elbowed you in the face to get to Tiana's Bayou Adventure before the wait got too long

Actually, it really as nice without the morning crowd there. Since Disneyland is so much smaller than Disney World, I got the impression that it had a different vibe altogether, at least in the early part of the day. To me, it seemed more like a neighborhood boardwalk amusement park than THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!!! as I walked through and got on some of the smaller rides right away. I rode the Matterhorn Bobsleds, which was fun. I couldn't keep the skirt of my tennis dress down, so thank God for biking shorts! I walked right on It's a Small World (still creepy) and it was after that I started noticing the crowds getting a little bit heavier. I mean, I expected it, but it was a nice morning reprieve not to have to face a smothering crowd first thing.

**Stopping here to say that I know I sound snarky, but I had fun. How can you not have fun? It's Disneyland! Am I a huge fan? No, but I'm not going to be a cranky bitch about being at a theme park if I chose to be there, right? It was very cool to see the original park, and all the historic things that started the whole thing. The rides weren't exact copies of the ones in Florida, so it was fun to see the differences. All Disney parks are engineering marvels, no matter what you think about them otherwise, so if nothing else, seeing how they create such all-encompassing landscapes in such a small space was very interesting. The design differences were fun and exploring the nooks and crannies is always an experience.**

So I continued my day, getting on rides, standing in lines, slowly boiling in the heat like the proverbial frog in the saucepan.  Y'all, it got HOT. I really wasn't expecting the kind of heat I encountered, but it was nasty. Granted, I am an indoor kind of gal, and my days are spent inside of an air-conditioned office, so a lot of it is just not being used to being outdoors all day, but jeez. I legit almost fainted at one point. I don't know what it was, but I got swimmy headed and had to sit in the shade and drink water before I passed out in Galaxy's Edge. Can you imagine? Fainting, and coming to to see a stormtrooper hanging over you? No thank you please. Once I felt better, I went on to ride the Haunted Mansion ride, which is very similar to the one in Orlando, and Pirates of the Caribbean, which is really quite different! The Pirates ride is longer, I think, and is set in Louisiana at first (a swamp, at least, so I think that's right) and even though it hit some of the same notes, it was different enough to be like a new ride altogether. After that I rode a lot of stuff, ate some stuff, and looked at stuff. It was a full morning!

It was about then that I realized two things: 1) It was too damn hot to be there in the crowd that had been steadily growing the entire day. and 2) I was within walking distance to the hotel.

So I went back to sit in the AC and take a nap! Actually, I took a shower and then took a nap, because I had been sweating so badly that I couldn't deal with it. That outfit I picked wasn't cooling or moisture wicking. It was swamp ass city and I was the only inhabitant. Yuck. Also, I had a blister on one of my toes! I wore my comfy, old-lady walking shoes that never give me any problems, and I had a blister! I was glad to rest a while. I knew I'd be going back later once the sun went down a little, so I didn't feel like I was missing anything. 

You know that whole thing about overpacking? Well, it served me well. When I got up, I put on a clean outfit and headed back out. It was still hot, but much nicer than it had been earlier, so walking around wasn't as uncomfortable. However, by that point the crowds were SO bad. I mean, so bad. 

Maybe the locals know better than to come to the park in the middle of the day when it is hot, so they wait until closer to the end of the day, but it was as bad as I've ever seen it in Florida. It was so busy that I decided that I wouldn't try to do very much else because I'd be standing in line for likely hours, so I mainly just walked around and looked at things. Also, I had a reservation at a restaurant called "Blue Bayou" which was a Cajun place attached to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and I didn't want to accidentally miss it, because it was a hard reservation to get. One day, if you're good, I'll tell you all about getting reservations at the Disney Parks. It'll make your hair stand on end.

The reservation wasn't supposed to be until 9:30 PM (What is this, Spain?) but I was so ready to eat and get out of the crowds that I finally walked up to the host and asked if there was any way I could eat earlier. Thankfully, there was! Yay! The restaurant was so cool on the inside, both in temperature and in decor. It was like eating outside under a big live oak tree by a stream, and I could see the riders on the Pirates of the Caribbean boats go by. The food was phenomenal, but I expected nothing less. It was one of the fancy restaurants on the property, and they never disappoint. However, my meal was almost ruined by the family at a table nearby. I need you to understand that I'm not saying that it was almost ruined because there were kids at the table, I'm saying it was almost ruined because there were terribly behaved children at the table, and adults who didn't give a f*ck about those kid's behavior. It was fine at first, because the kids were just being loud and kids are loud, which is normal. But I looked over JUST as the little boy spit a huge mouthful of chewed food out of his mouth and onto his plate. I very nearly threw up. Then the two little girls got up and started spinning around and yelling, almost hitting the people at the table next to them. Then they stood up to eat, messily, and then proceeded to do chorus line kicks, again, almost kicking the lady at the next table. The adults were on their phones, not paying attention. It got really bad, but thankfully they finally left, and I felt like the whole room heaved a sigh of relief. 

The fireworks actually went off when I was inside of the restaurant, so I didn't see them, but that was ok. I was full, and sleepy, and ready to go back to my hotel and sleep some more. My foot was killing me by then, and it was only when I got back that not only did I have a blister on my toe, that blister had a blister underneath that as well. How does that even happen?!  It was gross, but I was too tired to care, and I fell asleep very fast!

BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY. AGAIN. DAY 1

So, guess where I went! You'll never guess. Well, unless we're Facebook friends, because I posted a photo there.

I went to Disneyland!

I know.

I know.

I know.

Shut Up.

OK, so it obviously wouldn't have been my first choice of vacation destinations, BUT I had never been there before and was interested in the differences between Disney World, where I have been a lot of times, and Disneyland, where I had never been. So that's where I went.

I had the chance to get a free plane ticket because of points, so I got up at an ungodly hour and got on a plane. The first stop was Atlanta, of course. I am always going to be cursed with having to go to that airport. I can't explain why I hate it. It's a perfectly fine airport, and it's undergoing some very needed updates and remodeling, but it's a visceral hate I have for the place. My hatred is deep and it is unexplainable. The Atlanta airport is the Hattiesburg, Mississippi of airports. I will not elaborate further.

So I get there, and shocker: Delta has oversold the flight. I will never freaking understand why they do stuff like that. Like, OMG, someone might not show up and they NEVER have people on standby hoping to get on, so they should definitely sell some seats twice just to make sure they get every last dollar they can, right?  I know that's unfair, and I don't know how Delta does business, but it doesn't make sense to me. This is the sole reason I don't own an airline, you know. 

Anway.

They needed three people to volunteer to give up their seats for the flight, and although I've never done it before and since I didn't have any particular plans for the rest of the day other than getting to Anaheim, I volunteered. They gave me $800 and a seat on a later flight. I like money and I can be patient. It seemed like a fair trade. 

I got to California slightly later than originally planned and called an Uber to come and get me. I had to be bussed to a second location to be picked up, which I thought was weird, but apparently it keeps traffic at the airport down to a medium roar not to have people getting picked up their in ride shares. I would have liked to have rented a car, but 1) I had no idea what the traffic would have been like there, and 2) once I was at the hotel, I was within walking distance to Disneyland, so I didn't really need one. Except for not having the freedom to go anywhere beyond walking distance, I'm glad that I did the ride share because California traffic is awful. I only needed to go 35 miles from LAX, and it took an hour and a half. That is insane to me.

The car that picked me up was a fancy-pants Tesla, and I didn't know how to get inside. I've never been in a Tesla before, and there was just this silver thing flush to the door. Someone had to tell me how to use it, which was embarrassing. I felt like Sylvester Stallone in Demolition Man when someone had to tell him how to use the three seashells. But get in I did, and they drove me to Anaheim. The car was self-driving, so the man behind the wheel was basically decoration, but he was pleasant. I didn't realize I'd ordered a "quiet ride" until about halfway through, so there was some awkward conversation at first, and I had the feeling I was being rude by not talking later on, but that's the southern woman in me. I was created by God to hold pleasant conversations and keep people entertained, and staring out of a window of a car that was driving itself through the metro Los Angeles area without talking was weird. That car was dope, though. I want one, but I'd have to sell parts of myself on the black market to afford it, and even then, I don't think I'd rate top dollar for those parts at my age. I'll stick with my rapidly aging Volkswagen for now, I guess.

Once I was at the hotel, the man had to tell me how to get out of the car because like the outside, the inside handle didn't make sense to me. I was glad to get out so that I could stop embarrassing myself with my lack of knowledge about sentient cars.

The hotel was older, but decent, and was undergoing some remodeling, so check in was a little awkward, but not too bad. My room got upgraded for some reason, but apparently that just meant I got a set of bunk beds in the small room, and the ability walk outside and see the nightly fireworks, if I looked to the left. My one big complaint was that the hotel had outside walkways. I know that sounds petty, but really, I like my hallways to be indoors. A hotel room that leads directly outside kind of freaks me out a little. Anyone off the street could wander to my door and try to open it. That is how true crime podcasts start.

Once I was settled, I changed into my Downtown Disney outfit (again, shut up, I was going to do my damnedest to have the best time I could, and I was committed!) I had a dress with a wild, Enchanted Tiki Room bird pattern on it, and I got LOTS of compliments, thank you very much. I actually went to Trader Sam's, which was a Disney owned Tiki Bar, and had to wait an ungodly amount of time for a table but finally got to have dinner. I had some Kalua-Style Pork Nacho Fries, and they were just as delicious as they sound. I also got a Zombie cocktail, and it came in a Zombie Head Tiki Mug that I got to keep, which was very cool. I was very blurry by the time I left, and unfortunately the heat, plus the cocktail (which had ALL the rums in it, and although I love rum, it doesn't love me) made me quite ill, and I had to spend about ten minutes fighting for my life in a Downtown Disney bathroom until I could walk straight enough to leave. 

I did walk around the shops a bit, going in and out of the air conditioning, because it was really freaking hot in Anaheim. I thought it was supposed to be a dry heat, but it wasn't. I didn't realize how close we were to the coast, so all the thought of "It's a dry heat" went out the window that first night.

I finally called it and walked back to the hotel and went to bed. I would be going to the park the next day and needed my beauty sleep! 

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

 1. The other night, I woke up to find a water bug had breached our pest control line of defense and was crawling on my arm.

MY ARM. 

MY. MOTHER. EFFING. ARM.

A ruckus ensued. The bug had to be murdered and disposed of. I had to sleep with the lights on the rest of the night, and I might as well not have been sleeping at all. Every touch, every sensation, and I was flinching.

There is a place where these particular, horrible things get into my room, but I don't know where it is so that I can encase it in concrete and then have it blessed by a priest. It doesn't happen incredibly often, but it happens more than it should.

It has been raining and suddenly got stupid hot, so I get that it was just trying to get to a comfortable place, but that place should have never been my arm. I may not recover. My heebies are completely jeebied.

2. Do you remember when I said I hadn't had an oven incident since before Christmas? Well, strike that. Some corn-ribs that I put in the oven when slightly tipsy (I had other adult supervision, but not in time, apparently) leaked oil onto the bottom of the oven because I didn't have the wherewithal to put them on a baking sheet with a lip. So back to the drawing board and Easy-Off, I guess.

Don't worry, I haven't turned into a lush, it was just a miscalculation of ABV in a drink I wasn't familiar with. It made me quite sick, and I think parts of my body prolapsed in revolt. That was more than a month ago, and I'm still recovering.

3. I've been attempting to do the NY Times crossword puzzle every day. I'm not very good at it. Apparently, I don't know as many words as I thought I did! Nothing makes you feel as stupid as not knowing the capitol of a country you didn't even know existed that starts with an F and has seventeen letters! Sometimes a friend at work and I do the crossword together; she is a technical writer and she knows many words, which is humbling. Mainly I'm trying to do it so my brain doesn't turn to mush as quickly as it seems to want to.

4. Last Saturday, I went to someplace called Lexington, Alabama. Have you ever heard of it? I hadn't! I drove there to attend a Dukes of Hazzard meet and greet, because there is one more signature that is needed on the lunchbox. Almost all of the people (the ones still alive at the beginning of this particular endeavor, at least) depicted on this genuine, vintage, actually-used-for-school-lunches metal lunchbox have signed it, save for one: Sonny Shroyer, the actor who played Enos Straite. You don't see him at many of these kinds of things close to us because he is 91 years old, and he is elusive. Catherine Bach was hard enough to get a hold of, but I don't think I'd ever heard that Mr. Shroyer still did events like this. He was going to be there.

I have a confession: I had a MAD crush on Enos Straite.  Some girls liked Luke, some liked Beau, but I liked Enos. I have always been partial to sweet dorks, I guess. 

Anywho, I went solely to meet Mr. Shroyer and to get that signature. Alas, it was not meant to be.  

I paid $20 for a wristband to stand for two to three hours, in the sun, heat, and humidity, in a line that NEVER moved. The only time I got to step forward was when people ahead of me either realized they were in the wrong line or got tired of waiting and left. Apparently, there were people who paid $500 for VIP passes, a theft of huge proportions when you consider the redneck-ass-backwoods-event we were attending, and I say that knowing I drove to the outer rim of civilization myself to meet a man who played a country deputy on a TV show set in rural Georgia over 50 years ago. Those VIP ticket holders had paid for the privilege of multi-day access to the special guests and special events that the day pass holders didn't get. That didn't bother me. What DID bother me is that those VIP tickets apparently didn't include a chance to get their autographs ahead of time. What it did do was give them a chance to get in the front of any line they chose, keeping other people from going inside. Also, there was no time frame for them, so whenever they showed up, they got to go first. Because of this, and because Mr. Shroyer is 91 and can't spend all day doing grip and grins, I never moved far from my spot in that line except to go to the bathroom. We all know that when I get hot, I get mean. I don't understand it, I never mean to be, but it is the case. Also, a bug got on me. Things deteriorated after that. I didn't just hate the bugs and heat; I began to hate everyone and everything. Oddly, though, that wasn't why I left. I hadn't planned on staying all day, and the time I had allotted myself expired right along with my patience. I left before I throat punched anyone, which was fortuitous. 

Sorry this story is anticlimactic, but at least I traveled to a town I'd never been to before and no one got attacked, which is always a plus. 

5. I've learned to make homemade Pop-Tarts. A friend of mine went on a diet (?) or something called Soft 75 along with his wife, and he was struggling with all the things he wasn't allowed to have, one of which was his Pop-Tart Thursday. That's a clever name for the one pack of Pop-Tarts he allowed himself a week, on Thursday. I know that pain. Even with much less stomach than I originally had, I still want to stuff it with junk sometimes. So, I told him I'd try and find a healthier option, since it was more about avoiding overly processed food than about losing weight. However, all of the 'healthier" options were still very processed. So I learned to make them with very little sugar and jam I made myself with honey! They were surprisingly tasty, if I do say so. I brought him a half dozen, and he was so happy, which made me happy! I like doing fun things for people, even if it includes taking my life in my hands and using the oven. 

None of them burned, by the way. I can't believe you were wondering about that. Geez.

6. Not much else going on anytime soon. I'm going to do a bit more traveling next month, which is nice. If it goes well, I'll tell you about it. :)  Hope you are having the best day of your life! (So far!) 

N.S.T.R.

Hello, Friends!

Just jumping on to give proof of life, again. 

My life is literally so boring at the moment that even though I've wanted to write something here, there has been nothing worth writing about!

Well, that sounds a little too bleak. My life isn't pointless, just not eventful. It's hard going from a full-on Hawaiian adventure to...normal stuff.  It is a shame I'm not filthy rich so that I can travel all the time and then write about it, isn't it?

Alas, I have to come back to reality and do normal, working-class stuff like be a receptionist, buy groceries, go to church, and do laundry. Honestly, those things are not so bad, so I'm not going to complain too much. Heehee!

Let's see: I've been cooking more lately! I'm still not great at it, but I haven't set anything on fire since Christmas! There was a cornbread incident that I don't like to talk about, but I've almost got the oven clean again. A lot of that had to burn itself off, but at least I can bake stuff without smoke coming out now!

There have been some health things, but nothing dire. I finally have a doctor that is testing for things that are good to know about instead of waiting for stuff to fall out or break first. Several tests, and a couple of new medications, but I'm a middle-aged woman, so that isn't so odd.

Anthony and I went to the Huntsville Pop Culture Expo a couple of weeks ago and that was a lot of fun! I updated my Velma costume to be a bit more warm-weather friendly, and I got a ton of compliments! It wasn't a sexy Velma, though. I was the only non-sexy Velma there. 

Will Wheaton, Anson Mount, Christoper Lloyd, and a few more fairly big names were there, but I didn't meet any of them. I would have liked to have met Christopher Lloyd, but I was scared he wouldn't be nice and I'd never be able to watch Back to the Future the same way again. I also wanted to meet Anson Mount, but he had a weird mustache that must have been for a role, and it grossed me out so much that I couldn't bring myself to get close to him.  Is that weird? I mean, I like beards, and I don't mind a Fu Manchu, but just a mustache (and a weird, handle-bar one to boot) give me the ick so bad that I don't want to get close to anyone who has one! I only got one autograph, and it was for someone else. He was a voice actor that did some cartoon work in the 80s, and since my friend couldn't make it to the Expo, I got them the autograph. We had a fun day!

Otherwise, Nothing Significant to Report! I hope whatever you're doing is great!