1) Forgive me for my language, but is has anyone else reached the "Fuck It" level about the corona virus resurgence and everything surrounding it?
Please don't misunderstand me, I wish it wasn't happening. I care very much that people are needlessly dying of a fecking disease that has a fecking vaccine, but they keep getting sick because they would rather die or make other people sick than do something that would help. I'd be glad to go back to masks and things like that for a while if it meant the virus could calm down again.
But, I mean...how much outrage can a person have? I don't know about you, but I don't have a never ending well of anger inside of me that I can just keep dipping out of. Am I mad about it? Of course! But can I dredge up the strength and angst to keep harping on it? I simply cannot. I've used it all up. My Give-a-Damn is broken.
We do not live in medieval times anymore. Vaccines are not witchcraft. Smart people have studied germs and people have worked tirelessly to come up with a medicine that will keep folks from getting sick. People will feel a cold coming on and stay home from work or church, or whatever, but for some reason a highly contagious, potentially fatal (for some people, at least) virus is out there, and it's all "Screw you guys, I'm not going to let anyone make me take medicine! How dare they want to protect my life? I'm going to do my own research, even though that means only reading websites that agree with me and my own uneducated opinion." I'm not even advocating for people to get forced to get vaccines, I just want people to be smart enough to decide to get them on their own!
I'm wrung out, y'all. I am so tired, and so disappointed, and so discouraged. Everything has turned to boogers and I don't even have the strength to be angry about it anymore. All I can do it shrug and hope for the best. I'm just so TIRED of all of it. Does anyone else feel like this?
2) Enough of that. No more sturm and drang!
OOOOH! Speaking of sturm and drang, I'm still pecking away at my Duolingo German lessons! I have been at it for almost 660 days, more or less. You know what? I still don't know very much German! Heehee.
I know some of the basics, but there are so many words that look the same to me that I have trouble remembering how most of the more abstract words translate. Like, I can ask for water, or tell you I'm tired, to ask where the bedroom is and all of that, but even though I've gotten to at least level three on every section of the German lessons, I'm still kind of clueless about the more complex stuff. Also, I can only read German. If anyone speaks it at me, I get lost, and all I can think to say is that I'm not a banana! One of the big problems is that I'm learning on my own from scratch, and there is no one to converse with. The other big problem is that Duolingo wants very badly for you to pay them, even if they lie and say that they want to make the lessons available to everyone. Technically that's true, but on the app, they only give you 5 tries before you're cut off from your new lessons. There are things you can do to get more chances (hearts, if you will) but it's frustrating to be struggling with something and then they want you to watch a series of ads, or have to go back and do old lessons to get more chances. I get that the people who created the app need to get paid, but dang, y'all. If you're playing an ad every time I finish a level, you'd think someone, somewhere, is getting paid.
Anyway, I may know enough not to get thrown in jail when we go to Germany next year, but otherwise, please don't rely on me to give a speech or anything at the yearly Oktoberfest! That sucks, because I wanted to learn enough to give angry sounding monologues in German when people at Target pissed me off.
3) There was a memorial service for Sara yesterday that was held by her sorority sisters. They invited me, but I couldn't go. I wanted to. I thought I could. But I ultimately just couldn't.
Number one, I don't like to emote in public, and I would have emoted all over the place. I'd rather stab myself in the thigh and endure the pain and wait for the emotions to pass, but that is, allegedly, a weird thing to do. Could I have taken my anti-anxiety drugs and gone anyway? Sure, but I would have fallen asleep during and that would have been rude. Secondly, they were her sorority sisters. They had a relationship with her that I didn't share. I don't know what it's like to be in a sorority, but I imagine it's a very close and particular thing and they all had memories with her that I wouldn't have shared. I would have felt very out of place and I'm afraid I would have gotten awkward. Thirdly, I'm not very good with public mourning. This is different than publicly emoting, you understand. That's just not how I do it, or how my family does it. We do that kind of thing in small, manageable, and mostly private, doses. I could sit and have a drink with someone and talk and about the departed and remember them, but past the actual funeral, I'm not usually one to feel comfortable doing that in big groups. I am not judging people who do publicly mourn, but I don't. You get five minutes to get emotional, and then you have to be gangsta so that you can help other people. Will I sit with other people and help them mourn their loved ones? Absolutely! In a second. Can I let other people do that for me? No.
Maybe I'm just trying to justify not going. I dunno. I just...I guess I just need to deal with it in my own way. Is that wrong? I'm seriously asking. I am at loose ends here about how I should feel. Sigh. Feelings are so overrated. Why do humans have so many of them, and why are so many of them wet and snotty?
4) We have this dumb song that we sometimes play at our house called, and please do not judge me: Mr. Bootyman.
Shut up.
It's a song from the show "Psych" and it was meant to be funny in the context of the show, and it very much was. If you've never watched the show, you might not understand why we are so tickled by it, but it was a throw away gag where the main character played a prank on his dad and he set the song as his ring tone and the dad couldn't figure out how to change it and it caught us off guard. The song would also pop up randomly in the show throughout the run of the series and it was always funny. To us. You're mileage my vary of course. Many of you are probably more mature than we are.
You can hear it here. Make sure to turn your speakers up loud, though.
Anyways, I had played it on my phone one day and forgot to clear the iTunes app off of the deck, and as I was getting into my car this morning, my phone connected to the stereo and absolutely blasted this song while I was trying to pull out of the driveway. It caught me so off guard that I didn't think to turn it off, and I started laughing too much to do anything about it anyways. My neighbors must love me!
That was a whole thing just so I could introduce you to the Mr. Bootyman song. I wanted to share it with others. :)
