BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY: PART III

 I woke up again in the middle of the night again (damn the time difference) and made a reservation to visit a vanilla plantation!

The guy who did our timeshare thing (you're going to hear about him again, so I'm gonna call him Charles. I don't know if that was his name but humor me) gave us some ideas on what to do on the island after he stopped trying to take our money. He asked if we had heard about the place, and that they did a tour and then fed you a meal where every course had their own vanilla in it. We had not, but the idea stuck, so I found it online and bought some tickets!

Our reservation was at 11:00, so we got up with the sun and then went back to the shopping center to have breakfast at one of the restaurants before we got on the road. We ate at a place called Kona Biscuit Co. and I learned about guava jelly and passionfruit butter. My life will never be the same. 

The plantation was on the other side of the island, so we had about an hour and change to drive to get there. Sorry about the rough nature of this map, and that it isn't to scale or painted:

We started roughly on the far left of that red line, and had to drive to the spot on the right, so it wasn't a terribly long drive, all things considered, but it felt longer because the speed limit all over the island was fairly low. Maybe that's all a part of driving in the spirit of "aloha." Well, that and not giving people the bird when they piss you off. It was interesting, because we started out in bright sunlight and those lava rock fields, going up through hills and grass, and then it got cloudy and drizzly as we made it higher up and found ourselves driving through neighborhoods and small towns. Then the sun came out and we were in thick trees and flowers, and much greener landscapes, so we knew that we had made it to the "wet" side of the island. That was where it looked much more like I had thought Hawaii would, and it was gorgeous! 

Trying to find the Hawaiian Vanilla Company was a lot of driving down one lane roads and through farms of different kinds. It reminded me to trying to find the small whiskey distilleries in Tennessee, but with less kudzu and more hibiscus. We finally found it and found ourselves in this tiny old coffee mill turned vanilla farm. We were super early because we hadn't known if we'd get caught in traffic or what, so we sat around reading and browsing the gift shop until it was our turn to tour.

There were about 15 of us in total, and they served us a delicious lunch before walking us down to their hothouse to see the vanilla vines. Unfortunately the orchids had already bloomed and been pollinated before we got there. The flowers usually only last for about three hours, they said, but we did get to see the vines and some of the beans that they'd left as a visual aid. We were told all about the process, and that this particular farm was the first American vanilla farm, and it was a beautiful walk around the grounds. There were avocado trees just casually on the side of the road, and we were in a place where people lived, so it was small and intimate. It wasn't their main farm, but the one where it had begun and where they taught people about how vanilla is grown, but it was still a neat experience.

On the way back we acquainted ourselves with the beaches that were closest to us along the way. I asked to stop at a state park beach, just to see what it was like. Very crowded, as it happens, and Steve found a very small, but very beautiful black sand beach in a cove in a gated community. Apparently, there are no private beaches in Hawaii, so we were let in without any trouble. 

It was probably the most beautiful beach that we'd seen up to that point. It was small, the sand was more gray than black, but black enough, and it wasn't overrun with people. We walked and took pictures, and I had to physically restrain myself from taking rocks from the beach. My gremlin self really wanted to take rocks, but it's supposed to be bad juju to do so. So I didn't. Boo.

By the time we made it back to our condo, it was late in the day and we were exhausted. I guess we're getting old, because instead of getting cleaned up and going right back out, we just ordered a pizza and called it a night.

BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY: PART II

 After the timeshare meeting, Steve and I decided to make ourselves more acquainted with our surroundings since we had no idea where we were. Let me 'splain.

The area where we were staying did not look at all like I imagined Hawaii would. Like any good haole, I always imagined it was all lush forests, palm trees, flowers, white beaches and all of that, but we were in Waikoloa, which is on what we were told was the "dry side" of the island. If you remember me saying that when we drove in that it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, that was both true, and not true. From the Kona airport to where we were, a 30 to 45 minute drive, there didn't seem to be anything other than hills and what looked like giant, lumpy tilled fields. It was like the surface of Mars, if Mars was brown instead of red. It wasn't dirt, though, it was fields of volcanic rock. So basically, we were on the side of the island with the old lava flows. There were beaches and homes/resorts on the coast, but not in the way I am used to. There were no giant, multi-story hotels, no tacky seaside shops, or trashy tourist traps lining the coast there, so from the highway we could just see the palm trees and sometimes the roofs of the houses as well as the ocean beyond. It wasn't obvious, and so well planned that unless you were really looking, it didn't seem like there was anything there.

The resort we were in was a part of one of those types of developments. You'd turn off the highway and see the row of condos. The further in (towards to the ocean) you'd go, you'd see more condos, a big fancy hotel or two, and two small shopping centers with restaurants and upscale resort wear, surf shops, and at least one large-ish market in each. Beyond that was the biggest and fanciest hotel right on the water with a black, rocky beach. It was beautiful and about as unobtrusive as you can get, unless you're standing in the parking lot, of course

We walked around the big hotel, taking pictures and trying to get our bearings. We looked for a beach we could walk on, but it was all just rough surf and black rocks beyond a retaining wall that we couldn't climb over unless we wanted to fall and die. We actually got a little lost walking around this big, sprawling place. We eventually found our way out, and it was almost time for lunch, which was at a restaurant in one of the small shopping centers we'd passed, so we went there and ate and then looked around. 

That shopping area, the market there to be exact, was where we spent a huge amount of our free time and most of our money while we were on the island. It was a grocery store/souvenir shop, but something better than, if that makes sense. Since so many of the nearby places closed early, we stocked up on snacks for the condo and got some supplies that we didn't know we'd need for our trip until we got there. We also got matching outfits for the luau we were going to that night. Well, Steve got a Hawaiian shirt and I found a cheap, matching dress. He was a little horrified, but I thought it was funny! We went back to the room to change and then headed back to Kona for the Luau.

It was quite a drive, and we got caught in terrible traffic (Kona is a biggish city on the island and much more touristy than where we were) but we made it to the hotel where the luau was going to be, got our leis and got seated for dinner. It was all outdoors and the weather was beautiful. We were under palm trees and right next to the water, and they kept bringing around cocktails from the open bar. It was a while before we got to eat, but we did the whole thing, roasted pig, poi, and all! The show was so good, it showed a bunch of different Polynesian dances from all over, and the emcee explained the differences. It was a lot of fun. That night I learned that I don't like Mai Tais or Poi, but I very much like passionfruit and Hula Kane (male hula dancers.)

We went back to our condo afterwards and even though it was still relatively early (we were 4 hours behind our usual time, so early didn't feel early to me) I told Steve to look online and find some stuff he'd like to do, and I fell asleep almost before I was all the way in bed. With the exception of the timeshare part, it had been a fun day. 

BLOGGED, BUT NOT ALONG THE WAY: PART I

I'm back from my vacation! 

Full disclosure, I've been back for a week already, but I didn't have the time or the energy to write anything because of jet lag, backup of work stuff, and what I can only assume is some kind of radioactive pollen flying around my end of town due to the unseasonably warm weather that is trying to kill me, but I'm back all the same!

Have you been wondering where I went? You'll never guess in a million years. Unless we're Facebook friends, or if I texted you photos, of course. :)

I FINALLY GOT TO GO TO HAWAII!!!!!!  Not an EPCOT version, not a town in Tennessee or Georgia called Hawaii, but the real, actual state of Hawaii. The one in the Pacific Ocean!

Last year, Steve and I went to Florida for Disney (of course) and for a conference, and we accidentally stayed in a Hilton Resort property. I say accidentally because we didn't know it was a resort; we just thought it was a nice hotel until we actually got there and saw it was a full-on condo. While we were in the lobby, a lady asked if we wanted to attend one of their time-share events (we didn't) and if so, they'd give Steve an obscene amount of points on his credit card to raise his status (which he wanted) so we agreed, knowing full well we didn't want a time share. We attended, sat through the torture of the presentation and repeatedly told them we didn't want the timeshare. However, they did give us the option of paying a one-time fee that would allow us to visit any other of their time-share resort properties in the US for a reduced cost to see if we'd like to reconsider. We still didn't want a time-share, but it was a good deal, so we did that. We knew they had some resorts in nice places, so why not?

Part of me didn't think we'd actually use the voucher, but since we paid for it, and it would be our 25th anniversary that November, I made the call that we should use the voucher for an anniversary trip, and I told him I wanted to visit Hawaii. Shockingly, he agreed. The only catch was that we couldn't take the trip on our anniversary because he was traveling for work in November, plus the holidays were right after that, so we planned the trip around my birthday instead.

My job was to pick which resort we were going to visit, as they had different ones on different islands. I initially told him that any one of them would be fine (this is important to remember) but after talking with one of my friends who was in the Navy and stationed out there, who went through the brochures with me and told me what was on each island, I decided O'ahu would be the best bet. Yes, it was touristy, and yes it would be crowded, but I figured that we might as well try that one since it was the one most people visited and we'd see if we liked it. It would have lots to do, and we'd be able to see all of the things we'd heard about, like Pearl Harbor, Waikiki, and the like. So I went back and told Steve to book the resort on that island.

February finally rolled around and it was time to go on the trip. I was peeing-in-my-pants excited, not gonna lie. I even offered to splurge and get the really good first-class seats on the flight from LAX to the island (they were not available on the Huntsville to Atlanta, or Atlanta to Los Angeles flights) which made the last leg of the trip awesome. We were 10 minutes to landing when I noticed something off about our destination, though.

We were watching the flight tracker when I saw we were landing at the Kona Airport. Now, if you aren't familiar with Kona, it is not on the island of O'ahu, it is on the Big Island of Hawai'i. I mentioned this to Steve and he said "Well, they're probably dropping off some passengers there and then going on to O'ahu. Besides, I booked the flight at the airport closest to our resort." However, our tickets ended in Kona. This is how we realized that he had booked a resort on a completely different island than we thought. We had no idea where we were going.

We landed late in the day, and the shuttle took us to the car rental place. As we drove, there was NOTHING around. No lights, very few cars, and it looked like miles and miles of nothing at all around us. I wasn't angry, yet, but I was confused. We picked up the car, headed towards our resort, and checked in. Still, nothing was around us. No cities, no houses, and not even a convenience store. Everything we could see was closed. We were hungry, but the resort restaurant was closed. Our condo was very nice, but I was on edge, which made Steve on edge, and so he decided he didn't want to hear me freak out about not knowing where we were, so he went to bed. I followed. Once I got settled, I cried.

Now, before you say "Oh, you spoiled bitch, you were in Hawaii, but not on the right island so you cried? Boo-fucking-hoo" let me just explain it like this: For 8 months, I'd planned on being in O'ahu. My ex-Navy friend and I had talked at length about the things to do there. What to see, what to schedule once we were there, places to go...all of that. He and his wife even put together and texted a long list of things for us to do and see while we were there. That had been the plan all along. Now I didn't even know where I was in relation to anything, much less all the things that I'd been planning couldn't be done because were nowhere near any of it. It was black as pitch, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, I hadn't even looked at the Big Island on a map, and the map I did see on the plane showed nothing that made sense. Imagine booking a trip to New Orleans, making plans to see very specific things, and when the plane touches down, you realize you're in Montana. That's how I felt. I wasn't angry with Steve, believe it or not. We'd sat down and talked about the trip! We talked about the reservations! The biggest problem was that I had told him to reserve any of the resorts to visit, he picked what he thought was the nicest one, I went back later to tell him that O'ahu was where we should go, which he agreed to and said he'd already made the reservation, and the entire time, we both thought we were talking about the same place. A failure to communicate, if you will.

So, yeah, I cried. However, if there is one thing you need to know about me, is that I generally need to overreact at first about anything that upsets me and then I can think rationally afterwards. I have to clear out the panic bugs and then I can move on quite decently! So that's what I did. I woke up in the middle of the night, made lunch reservations and reservations to attend a luau the next day, and went back to sleep knowing that I was going to make the best of this trip if it killed the both of us. :)

We got up, and I told him the plans I'd made. I told him I wasn't angry, just disappointed that we had to retool our plan, and that we'd have to fly by the seat of our pants for the week, which was fine with me. We, of course, had to sit through another time-share thing (which was part of the cost of being allowed to stay there) which we had purposefully scheduled first thing on our first full day so we could get it over with. We respectfully declined the offers, and then we finally got going on our Hawaii vacation!

More to come...