What Now

Well, it's my birthday. Ye-and/or-ha. Steve gave me my gift last night and I have to say that it showed an amazing amount of incite. : ) He got help from the ladies he works with, and he made me a gift basket with Burts Bees stuff, Books, cards from Butler, Bear, and him, and a heart shaped box of Godiva Truffles. : ) It was really very great. He got me five books: a CSI mystery, Bridget Jones Diary, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc, and The Secret Lives of Bees. Now I have books upon books to read! I sort of feel like Scrooge McDuck when he swims through his money bin. : )
Tonight I had planned to make dinner, and Steve and I would eat and have a good time. I knew I shouldn't have looked forward to it so much because now he's sick. I'm not mad that he's sick (that would be stupid), but I am disappointed. I mean he JUST got sick...like it was waiting for a day we had plans. This happens to me a lot on my birthday, I noticed. I remember when I was in the first or second grade I was supposed to have a sleepover on my birthday and it was all I could think or talk about. My mom got the flu and I had to cancel it. I also got sick on my birthday a couple of times, and then there was little stuff like the dog stepping in my birthday cake (which is kind of funny in retrospect) and sleet storms, or friends at my party getting into fights, or like my 15th birthday party when my drama queen boyfriend at the time decided to go into a sulking fit and stand outside the whole time during the party (except of course when he yelled at my best friend for no apparent reason). You know, I'm not writing all of this down for sympathy, so don't feel sorry for me or anything. I'm way past needing that type of reaction. I suppose that I'm just wondering if anyone knows why my birthdays seem to be jinxed. Heck, anything I genuinely look forward too is jinxed. The sole exception of this was my wedding, and I can't say I was real excited about it because I was terrified that something would go wrong. It's insane. I'm about to the point where I don't want to celebrate it anymore just so that I'm not expecting anything. Some people decide that they don't want to get older. Me, I just don't want to be let down. Tomorrow I will have my birthday lunch with my family. That should be good, shouldn't it?