We all know that I drive a massive, gas swilling, screw-the-environment SUV named Rudolph. We drive to work and school every day, just trying to get from point A to point B without hurting anyone. I try as hard as I can to be a curteous driver because I know how much I hate it when people are reckless and do stupid things that put both Rudolph and I in danger. This is soon going to change. If I see one more person, ONE MORE, on a cell phone not watching the road, not having a hand free to reach over and turn on their stupid blinker, I am going to become a vigilante and run them over. I'm not just talking about a cursory bump on the fender, I am going to go full on, monster truck rally on someone.
PARKING LOT RAGE
Tonight I stopped at Target on my way back from school. As I am getting back into my car, I notice one of those huge, Doo-lee (don't have a clue how to spell that one) Bubba Trucks parked in the row behind me. I didn't think much of it, after all, I live in Alabama. My high school parking lot was 1/4 Bubba Trucks. I went to the prom in one for the love of Pete. We co-exist peacefully...or at least we used to. As I'm backing out, the Bubba who owned the truck in question was putting his purchases away, and I notice that he's watching me back up. Now, as you can see by the picture above, Rudolph isn't that small, but I've never had trouble manuvering it. However, as I'm backing up, I realize I'm going to come a little too close to the Bubba Truck. I'm cool, though, because I knew I wasn't going to hit it, I was just going to have to pull up and back up again. As I pull forward, I realize that the car in front of me is too close to pull up very far, so I start backing up again. If you've ever seen that scene in Austin Powers where he's in the little golf cart trying to get out of Dr. Evil's underground lair, you'll know the position I was in. So I try backing up a little further, and I see the owner of the truck do the "Are you stupid or something" face at me because of how close I came to the truck. Luckily I was able to just barely miss him and be on my way. I'd like to send a message to Bubba, if I may. If you are going to drive that moving Freudian cliche, please don't BACK into a parking lot only halfway or maybe you could start parking in the "Big Car, Small Manhood" parking spaces they have out back so that regular people can move about freely.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Halloween was kind of boring this year. I was going to dress up for work, but I couldn't find all of the pieces of my costume. Don't worry, I wasn't going to be annoying with dressing up. I mean, let's face it, I throw on an orange turtleneck and I'm Velma from Scooby-Doo. 
However, since I had given a lot of clothes to a yard sale, my skirt was gone, and apparently there isn't a red skirt in north Alabama to be had for love or money. Oh well. I had to stay at work so that I could set up my new(ish) computer, so I didn't get home until after 8, and there were no Trick or Treaters anywhere to be seen. I'm kind of two minded about this: A) I bought candy and had it all parceled out in little bags and everything for anyone who came by, so that was a waste of my time. However, B) I bought Junior Mints...and I LOVE Junior Mints, so who cares. I really don't need to buy candy I like to eat for Halloween, because quite honestly, I ate most of it before the 31st anyways. That's why I ended up putting the candy in little bags, to fill in the dwindled numbers of Junior Mints with DumDum suckers, and so that it would be more work to get at them by having to remove them from a little bag.
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