HELP...MEEEEEEEEEE...

Today is Valentine's Day and my birthday.

People keep feeding me.  Dear God, they will not stop feeding me.

It started with doughnuts. My boss got me doughnuts and that was good. I like doughnuts.

Then more people came.  MORE PEOPLE CAME AND THE FOOD DIDN'T STOP!

There was a ladies prayer meeting and they brought us food, but some was for my birthday.  They sang happy birthday to me and handed me a plate of food.

Baptist women do not screw around when it comes to food.

I don't want to be rude and not at least taste what they've given me, so I've been eating all day and I don't know if I'm going to survive. I had to secretly throw away part of a cupcake. I did it like I was smuggling contraband out of the country, just so no one would see me and get their feelings hurt. I've hidden a baggy of mini muffins so no one knows I didn't eat them. My boss then bought us lunch because that's what he does and I told him he didn't have to, but he still did.

I love that all of these people want to do things for me, but I'm so full that I can't move.

I've eaten all of the food in the world. I've probably eaten the food that should have gone to a village in Malawi.  Please tell them I'm sorry.

My pancreas has given up. I'm going towards the light...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy birthday to me!  Well, yesterday, anyway.

Yes, I am now a woman of a certain age and that age is 38.  I'm no longer the young, beautiful, blushing spring flower that I once was. Pardon me while I weep in a corner.  *SOB*

Nah, just kidding! I'm still pretty awesome. Actually, I've got 38 years of awesome built up, so I'd say it's a fairly significant amount of awesome. 

My birthday was good. It was a good day. It wasn't the most exciting birthday I've ever had, but that may be because it was a Sunday and it was cold, and I was not feeling well.  I did manage to make it through the day without any major disaster, so at least that's a thing!  I went to church in the morning, had lunch with Mr. Lee and Steve that afternoon, and spent the rest of the day at home relaxing. 

The church was showing a movie last night and it was one I flat out refused to sit through. One day I'll explain why, when I'm not ashamed of myself. So I got it all ready except for pressing "PLAY" on the machine and left it to someone else so I could spend the rest of my day in my pajamas.  I know... pajamas, but it was just too cold here not to wear pants.

I'd actually been celebrating on and off since Friday, when my mom, sister and I went to lunch and went shopping. We usually do that together before our birthdays.  It was a lot of fun!  That night we also got to have dinner and watch TV with Anthony, who I've missed a lot since he changed jobs and he's been too busy to hang out much. 

Saturday was kind of a weird-ass day, but only because I think I experienced every emotion a person can have, all in the space of a couple of hours.  True story!  Steve and I were out, doing Saturday stuff and went from having an argument in a Cracker Barrel (well, not so much an argument as it was a misunderstanding. We didn't cause a scene and throw syrup or anything.) to laughing and joking five minutes later, to me getting frustrated as I ran all over town looking for something that apparently isn't sold until spring, getting my feelings hurt by a rather rude shop owner who didn't seem to feel I belonged in her store, and then I UGLY cried, and that is not an exaggeration, over a dog Steve wanted to bring home from an adopt-a-thon (he was a 12 year old dog named Augustus, and we can't have a dog right now for several reasons and I had to be the voice of reason about it, but the idea that we were leaving him behind and alone unhinged me for a while. Do you have any idea how hard it is to drive when you are full on weeping? Very hard! Oh, and just in case you're worried, if he is still not adopted by July, we're going back to get him.) THEN, less than an hour after I got home and calmed down from the dog thing, I got flowers delivered, which made me happy.  I honestly don't remember the rest of the day, because that was too many feelings to process in such a short amount of time and I think my brain shorted out.

On my actual birthday, lots of people at church very kindly remembered my birthday, and of course, my Facebook friends and family told me happy birthday, which is always nice.  So, all in all I either saw, spoke to, or got texts (and a video) from the people I love the most in the world and I don't know how things can really get much better than that! 

In light of full disclosure, there was one tiny thing that didn't go my way.  It's so stupid and personally embarrassing that I'm not going to tell you what it was, but it really was such a dumb, little, truly unimportant-in-the-scheme-of-all-things thing that I'm sorry I let it bring down my day even a little.  You know how sometimes little stuff can sometimes take on huge proportions when you think about them too much?  That's what it was.  I just wanted a certain thing to happen, and it didn't. I could have probably forced the issue, but I didn't want to, and got upset that no one read my mind.  It was really silly.  I think if I hadn't had so many other good things happen, it might have upset me more, but even then, it was a dumb thing to get upset over.

Stuff like that is the just way I'm made.  Really, it's because without those little flaws, the gods would get jealous and destroy me in a truly spectacular way. It's best for everyone that those flaws exist. :)

So anyway, let's see what my 38th year has in store. I hope it's lots of good things! Keep your fingers crossed for me! 

BIRTHENTINE'S DAY!

I had a lovely birthday, thanks for asking!  It was very low key, but nice.  My mom and my sister took me out to lunch in Athens at a place called Wildwood Deli.  It's a tiny, tiny, tiny place off of the square. Like, only 2 tables inside kind of tiny!  The food was delicious, though, so if you're ever rolling through Athens, I very much recommend it.  Honestly, all I had was a ham sandwich, but it was the best dang ham sandwich I've ever eaten!  Then we walked around and browsed in some of the shops for a while and then went home!  I had a lot of fun spending time with them!

In the usual stripe of my birthday, there was a snag in the evening, but it was a small one.  Steve came home early and told me he wanted to take me out to dinner, which I thought was very sweet, but since my birthday is on Valentine's Day* AND it had fallen on a Friday, I knew it would be a mess out there trying to find a place to go.  We decided on a place (a place we've been before and liked) and even though it was one of the nicer places around, we got a table right away since we got there so early.  I wish I could say we had a lovely dinner, but we didn't.  In fact, we didn't even stay for dinner!  Don't worry, we didn't get into a fight or anything, and I'm even willing to say it was all my fault that we ended up leaving before the waiter even came over! OK, when we were seated, they gave me a rose and placed two pieces of paper and a menu on the table.  Steve picked up the menu and opened it, but said "This is only wine. Where is the food?"  That's when I looked down and saw that the pieces of paper they'd laid down were the menus for the evening.  Apparently, it was a set menu and it was $100 a plate.  Say what?  NOPE.  Look, I'm not adverse to expensive restaurants and I'm not adverse to having money spent on me, but I couldn't in good conscience let Steve spend that kind of money on a dinner we'd just stumbled upon with no notice! Had we planned it, sure, but we just got a table by chance!  I think it was just sticker shock.  To Steve's credit, he was willing to pay for it, but I didn't want him to.  We didn't really know what to do, but I just gathered everything up and took it back up to the hostess and told her we were leaving.  She looked a little shocked, and we probably looked cheap as hell, but we left.  Ugh, it was a bit embarrassing. I felt bad for messing up dinner, but by then everyone was out and we knew anywhere else would be crowded, so we just got barbecue and went home.  Honestly, I think I liked that better anyway!

Don't worry, I'll let Steve buy me expensive food soon, but I at least want some warning first! :)

I was remembered by lots of friends and family, so that made my birthday wonderful no matter what we had for dinner! I love my friends and family so much for thinking of me. They're good people.

*As far as Valentine's Day itself goes, I'm growing more and more indifferent about it.  I mean, I like the sentiment behind it, but I hate the drama! But I love the chocolate, too, so I don't know what to think about it as a whole, so therefore I call indifference.  I will tell you that the backlash against it all is getting on my nerves.  You know, celebrate it, don't celebrate it, I don't care.  However, I get really tired of the people who are so above it all.  They are the ones who talk about how stupid it is and how they don't need a special day to blah, blah, blah.  Of course it's stupid, it's a made up holiday, but geez. Lighten up, Francis. Have some red foil Hershey kisses and chill the hell out about it!

As most of you know, today is my birthday. I am 29. For a normal person, this would be a time to celebrate or lament. However, I am doing neither. I am very likely hiding out somewhere in my home, trying my best to contain the jinx that plagues me and those around me. I believe very much that the only thing I've ever done to cause this jinx is to have the audacity to want to have a good birthday. So, because I am now probably in my hall closet with a flashlight and a MRE at my elbow so that I don't have to go anywhere and taint anyone else's day, I wanted to go ahead and apologize in case my bad luck infects any of you. Oh yes, it has done it before, and usually to the people I love most.

If at some point today you find yourself engaged to, married to, or impregnated by, someone whom you'd rather not be...I'm sorry.

If you find out you have a nasty disease or a fatal wound of some kind...I'm sorry.

If your house is suddenly plagued with paranormal activity...call TAPS...and I'm sorry.

If you have an accident or get murdered in some horrible way...I'm sorry.

If an ex boyfriend/girlfriend shows up at your house and takes you prisoner and you have to be smoked out of the hostage situation with tear gas bombs...I'm sorry.

If you wake up expecting breakfast in bed or roses (after all, it is Valentine's Day, too) and you are disappointed...I'm sorry.

If the romantic candles you placed in your bedroom catch the curtains on fire and you have to be rescued by a big, burly fireman...your welcome...and I'm sorry.

If you are secretly in love with someone and you find out they are getting married, or are gay...I'm sorry.

If you are attacked by penguins in the middle of a desert...I'm sorry.

If your favorite TV show is preempted by a State of the Union address, or weather coverage...I'm sorry.

If a dog steps in your dessert...I'm sorry.

If you get into a fight and wind up not speaking to someone you dearly love...I'm sorry.

If you happen to realize that your significant other completely forgot to get you anything for Valentine's Day and they give you a crappy gift that wasn't intended for you to begin with, but they give it to you so that you will think that they just have really bad taste instead of just not thinking about you...I'm sorry.

If you lean out of your top floor window after you take a shower to get a better look at who is driving into the garage of your next door neighbor, fall out of said window leaving your towel behind caught on the window latch, land naked and unconscious into your begonias and are arrested for public lewdness...well, you shouldn't be so nosy, but also, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if you have a bad day. I didn't do it on purpose, I swear. However, it's probably my fault anyways, even though I'd never wish any of that stuff on anyone ever. All I can ask is for forgiveness and a wide berth each February 14th. Tomorrow I'll give you an update and let you know how things went. If I'm still alive, that is! : )