THE EYES HAVE IT!

You want to see something weird?  Of course you do, what am I asking?  But first, some background.

Last week I had to go for my annual eye exam.  Thankfully, the last few times I've been to see the optometrist, my eyes haven't gotten worse and my prescription has stayed pretty consistent.  Since there wasn't any hullaballoo about getting new glasses this year, I decided to ask about possibly getting some colored contacts in addition to my regular ones.  If you've ever seen me up close, you know my eyes are a dark, chocolate brown.  Actually, it's kind of weird, because my dad had light blue eyes and my mom has greenish, hazel eyes. My brother and sister both have blue eyes. I am the family abberation (in more ways than one, probably. ) So let's give it up for whatever recessive trait I inherited!

I've been told I have nice eyes, and I'm glad some people think so, but still...I've had brown ones all my life.  I wanted a little change and this was the least permanent thing I could think of.  The contacts lady at the eye doc was super helpful and she ordered me 4 boxes of non-prescription colored contacts to try out to see which color I would want.  While I was hoping for a big change, the colored contacts didn't make a huge difference because my eyes are so dark.  You could see a bit of difference, but on the whole, it was subtle.  I tried to take a picture of my eyes to see which one I liked the best, but the pictures were a bit blurry.  Apparently my iPhone doesn't like close ups.  Sorry about the quality, but here is what I got:

Here are the blue ones.  They are only blue around the edges and they aren't that noticeable.

Ignore the black circles under my eye, friend. I haven't been sleeping well.

These are the green ones.  I really like them because they make my eyes look like my mom's.  :) 

Still not that different, but different enough.

These are the gray ones.  I actually have two of them in one eye so that the color would show up better, so this is not what my eyes would look like if I wore the gray contacts, but I thought it was neat looking anyway.

I'm staring into your soul right now.

None of these are the weird thing I wanted you to see, though.  Since I was having so much trouble getting a picture of my eye in focus, I got out my macro lens and asked Steve to take a picture of my eye.  He obliged and this was the result:

Borg? Cylon? From Westworld? You pick.

You may have to embiggen the picture to see what is so weird about it, but the macro lens picked up the dot matrix coloring of the contact and you can even see the word "demo" that is stamped onto it.  It looks like I have cyborg eyes!  It freaked me out a little.  I'd never seen what a colored contact on an eyeball looked like up close. Now we both have!  Haha!  

Look into my eyes!  RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

Sorry about all the eye closeups, if eyes freak you out.  Just know that these eyes have a lot of love, laughter and compassion in them.  Well, usually.  In light of full disclosure I've been told there is a bit of devilry in them, too.  :)

DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS...

So...I hurt myself.  Some of you already know this, but I'm going to talk about it anyways because it's my blog and I do what I want!

In light of full disclosure, I'm going to embarrass myself.  I hurt myself at the gym, but I didn't realize it at first. Well, let me rephrase... I knew I'd hurt myself, but it didn't seem so bad.  Maybe the endorphins had kicked in and  I wasn't feeling too much pain, or maybe I was just not paying attention, but I wasn't concerned about it until I got home, and by then my left arm had gone numb.  I'm going to assume that most of you would have thought at that point "Huh, I must've pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve."  Alas, my first thought was "OMG, I'm having a heart attack. I'm going to die here, on the floor, alone in my house."

Now, I'm not usually one to jump to that conclusion right off the bat, but to be 100% honest, I don't expect to live to be an old person.  My father died of a heart attack, my mom has heart issues, and I figure that if it isn't cancer (also rampant in our family) that takes me off, it'll be my heart doing something weird.  So there I was, in my kitchen, trying to decide if I was having a heart attack or not.  So, I Googled the symptoms.  That was not smart.  I didn't have most of them, but it "reassuringly" said that "For women, heart attack symptoms aren't always the common ones."  Well, damnit.  That pushed me over the edge and I began to have a panic attack, which in turn caused more of the symptoms that aligned with the common heart attack symptoms.  Greeaaaat.

Deep down where my common sense grows, and I do have some whether you believe it or not, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack.  Granted, I have very little useful medical knowledge, but something told me that I'd be in much worse shape than I was in if I were truly having a heart attack.  However, the rest of my brain went unto complete panic mode.  I called Steve and told him I was sure I was OK, but just in case I died unexpectedly, I was sorry.  Sorry about what, I couldn't tell you, but panic attacks are a bitch to begin with, and having one while you are convinced you are going to die are even worse and they make you a smidge irrational.  Did I head over to the hospital?  Nope.  I went on to work.  I figured that if I was going to die, why not do it at church? Cut out the middle man, right?  So I got to church, ransacked the first aid kit for some aspirin, and then sat down on the floor. Also, to cover all my bases, I took one of my anti anxiety pills. I was sitting there, in the floor of my office, all alone (everyone was late that day) wondering if I was going to die.

In case you're wondering, I didn't die.

No, I probably should have taken the anti-anxiety pill much, much sooner.  Once I calmed down, I realized that my arm was numb because I'd hurt my back.  I'd been so worried about my heart that I had ignored the fact that I'd pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle or whatever I'd done.  I was also very embarrassed that I'd gone to the edge of crazy for even a fraction of an hour.  Luckily, I hadn't gone to the hospital and insisted that I was dying.  I really, really don't want to end up being one of the people an ER nurse talks about when they are recounting stories about patients.  I mean, unless they are talking about patients who are awesome.

So that crisis averted, I managed to live with my back & neck pain for a few more days.  It was unpleasant, but I could deal with it.  It got kind of bad, but nothing I couldn't handle. At least I was able to handle it until the day I bent down to pet the cat.  Seriously, I just bent over to pet Rorschach and it was like my back said "NOPE! No more!"  It felt like I was stabbed by an icicle.  Everything locked up and I couldn't straighten up all the way.  Steve had to help me to bed and I just lay there like a slug.

As I was telling a friend of mine, I think pain is stupid.  If I'm going to hurt, I want to have to work for it.  Laying in bed or on the couch and just hurting because I'm awake annoys me.  I know pain is important because it helps you to understand your limitations and keeps you from doing things to further injure yourself, but still, it's stupid.  I didn't listen to my pain, and of course, that make it worse.  The day after I had to be put to bed like somebody's maw-maw, I decided that it wasn't so bad.  I had errands to do and I needed to get them done that day, so I hauled myself out of bed and out into the world where I pretty much walked around without bending my neck or moving too fast.  It sucked.  I wound up on the couch for the rest of the day lying on a heating pad/ ice pack, except for when I managed to construct a nifty little harness to strap a cold pack to my back so that I could get up and move around.  The pain came and went all weekend, which was no fun, but at least I didn't have to be immobile the whole time.

I went to the doctor this morning, and he didn't seem very concerned about my back.  I thought he'd at least refer me to a chiropractor, or prescribe a muscle relaxer or something, but he didn't.  So I guess this will just have to pass on its own.  If not, I'm going to have to find a chiropractor on my own.  Fun stuff.

At least I didn't die of a heart attack, though, right? Silver lining! :)

FUNZIES!

I couldn't sleep tonight because I had caffeine, so I stole this meme from Dr. Annie! Oh, and as a fun fact, I didn't know that meme was pronounced "meem" until quite recently. I thought it was pronounced "me-me" and I thought it referred specifically to these things you fill out about yourself. I thought it was called a me-me because you were talking about yourself, as in: It's all about me. I also think I might have mentioned that fact before, but I couldn't remember.

Shut up.

Anyways, here we go.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

ALBINO NINJA!

2. How much cash do you have on you?

None at the moment. I don't tend to carry cash on me while I'm at home.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

Score!

4. Favorite planet?

Venus.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

I.C.E. Steve Pratt. I hope it wasn't important!

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

The Indiana Jones theme. It makes all of my calls sound adventurous.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A blue and silver tie dyed one with flowers on the chest.

8. Do you label yourself?

I do, but only because sometimes I forget my name.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

Croc flip-flops. Say what you will about Crocs, but they are the most comfortable shoes I own.

10. Bright or Dark Room?

Dark. Bright lights make me feel weird and transparent.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

She is quite awesome. :)

12. What does your watch look like?

I have two. One is a cheapie black plastic one that has a black and white face. The other is a silver colored, bracelet one I wear for fancy times.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Adjusting my CPAP, I think.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

"Just kidding. I'll tell them you want to be the one who provides child care during the reunion." It was from Sara. She's the only proof I need that gingers don't have souls. :P

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

? I have no idea.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?

Disregarding profanity, I'd have to say "ouch."

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

My mom.

18. Last furry thing you touched?

Butler, my yellow lab.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Just vitamins, I think. I'm so tired of taking medicine, I've kind of boycotted it for now.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?

None. I haven't had a film camera for over 10 years.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

17. That was before I knew how much life could suck. Heeheehee!

22. Your worst enemy?

Myself, and possibly C.O.B.R.A. Commander.

23. What is your current desktop picture?

A tank full of genetically modified, glow-in-the-dark fish.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"I'll be there in a little bit. I'm not tired yet."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

Flying, probably. You could always get rich by exploiting the fact you could fly.

26. Do you like someone?

I do.

27. The last song you listened to?

Something written by John Williams that Steve was playing on his trumpet. I don't remember the name, but it was some kind of march.

28. What time of day were you born?

11:10 AM, I think

29. What’s your favorite number?

8

30. Where did you live in 1987?

East Limestone, I think. Possibly Madison. We moved around that time, so I can't be sure.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

Yes!

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

I doubt it. They'd be kind of sad if they were. I haven't got much going on at the moment.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

At home. I was getting ready for a job interview. Steve called and told me what happened because I was watching The Golden Girls.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

I pound on the glass and shake them.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?

Yes. At least, I try to always be kind.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

Ankle or right shoulder. I think that urge may have passed for me, though.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Italian. No matter what you say, it sounds sexy.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Of course. At least, I would if I knew they loved me back. Otherwise it just gets all stalky and awkward.

39. Are you touchy feely?

Heck yes I am. Probably too much. I can't help it.

40. What’s your life motto?

You can never have too many hobbies or art supplies.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

If I'm away from home: lip gloss, insurance card, Swiss army knife (unless I'm going on a plane, because I don't want it to get confiscated.)

42. What’s your favourite town/city?

So far? Bodie, California. It was a ghost town, though. I'm sure there are better places out there, I just haven't seen them yet.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

Something at Hobby Lobby, probably.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Today!

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

No.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

That he just got tenure and a promotion to Associate Professor at Jacksonville St. University. I fall in love with smart people! :)

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

Pretty far back. The farthest I know from memory is a (several times) great grandfather who was a Cherokee Indian chief named "Old Tossle." He was killed by union soldiers.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

Steve's Christmas party. A black and white dress that was 6 inches too long that I kept stepping on and bedroom slippers underneath. I'm classy like that.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

I have a button on my clothes that is poking me.

50. Have you been burned by love?

Yes. Quite terribly.

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