What Now

Betazed, anyone?

I have no idea if I spelled that right. Trekkies, forgive me.

For my birthday, Steve bought me a book called "The Secret Lives of Bees" which had a character in it who felt everyone's pain. Anytime she heard of anything that made anyone sad, she felt it as if it were her burden as well. It was so bad that she had to have her own version of a Wailing Wall, where she would go when she was sad. She wrote down what bothered her and stuck the paper between the stones, and that helped her get through it.

When I read that, with exception of the wall, I realized that I am that way and I hate it.

I know this will sound crazy to anyone who reads this (either of you), but when I hear of sad things - like the seige in the school in Russia, or about someone who is sick, or if someone loses a loved one - I hurt so bad and I find myself crying over people I don't even know. Today we watched a bit of a PBS special in class about slavery, and they showed a mother crying because her child had been sold. I almost burst into tears, but I don't know why. I know that stuff happened, but when I saw that little clip of film (yes, even realizing it wasn't real) it felt like a child of my own was being taken away. It's weird. Maybe it's some kind of harmonal imbalance, but jeez, I wish it would stop. Talk about being empathetic...more like just pathetic.

SIGH.