What Now

Halloween was not very eventful this year. I was supposed to work at the Tunnels again, but I wasn't feeling well and honestly, I was not in the mood. I know how that sounds but with everything that has been going on, and my frame of mind, it just seemed sort of stupid. I went home and watched "The 100 Scariest Movie Moments" on Bravo. Since I wasn't planning on being home, I didn't buy any candy, but I was able to find a container of Elvis Reeces Peanut Butter and Banana Cups in the cupboard, so I was set. After the first two kids that came by, I realized that if we had many more kids to come, we wouldn't have enough candy, so I scrounged until I found some Halloween themed candy bags and I filled them with the rest of the chocolate and boxes of Tic Tacs. Thankfully we only had three more children stop by, because I was afraid that if I ran out, I'd have to start giving them tea bags and Mott's applesauce!

Today would have been my dad's 60th birthday. It's been exactly a month since he died, and it seems just as new as it did that day. It's funny, I thought I would handle it all better than I am. I mean, I'm not wearing black and clutching a hankercheif all day, but it just nips at me when I'm not prepared for it. I know that time is all I need, but there is just this big hole that seems so empty. I don't know. I'll never get over it, I guess, but I know I'll figure out how to deal with it eventually.