SO...WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

OK, so...it's been a while. I have never had so much, and so little, happening at the same time in my whole life. 

This is where I will talk about it.

I used to work at the church. I still do, but I used to, too. (Forgive me, Mitch Hedberg.) 

However, now, I also work full time as an office administrator and receptionist at the same company where Steve works! Their last office admin quit because she thought the job was boring and someone Steve works with thought of me to fill the role. 

Steve asked me if I would be interested, and because I'd been feeling like my days as a church secretary were nearing an end, I told him I would submit my resume. I didn't think much of it, since I wasn't actively looking for a new job, but I figured it couldn't hurt to do that much. I assumed that it would take a month or more for the process to get going, but everything happened all at once. Apparently my resume was impressive enough for a recruiter to call my cell phone, and then our house phone, and then my cell phone again (calls I didn't answer because I didn't know who they were from) before I finally talked to them.  I don't know how many other people they had talked to about the job before me, but between that phone call, my interview, and being hired, it might have been a week. It was very fast!  I didn't expect that at all. There were definitely cons about leaving the job I had, but there were a lot of pros, too! It pays significantly more, I get a 401k and benefits, paid vacation and sick leave...all that jazz that comes along with having a grown up job. Plus, it was something new! I haven't had anything new in such a long time! So, I didn't see how I could turn it down.

I had to give my two weeks notice at the church, which I felt terrible about. As I've mentioned before, most of the staff of the church left in December. The pastor, his wife, and his daughter and son-in-law (who led the children's program) left to work at a different church, leaving only me and the youth pastor behind to hold things together. We finally got an interim pastor, and so had a bit of stability, and then I got another job. 

It's weird to leave a job you've been doing for 10 years, because you know all of the ins and outs, you know the routine, and you know where all of the paperclips are. You also know someone else is going to come in and move all of your stuff, change all of your rules and routines, and it's going to drive you crazy. I felt that my leaving was very abrupt, so it was like leaving a baby on someone's porch without leaving a note. It was a really fraught couple of weeks, because I had been running the day to day operations of the office pretty much alone for such a long time, and I knew that I'd be leaving them in a bind. They can't sign checks, they never answer the phone, and they are usually leaving the office or working from home, or some such thing, so I was always holding down the fort. Well, the fort was going to need a new caretaker, and that wasn't my business anymore...or so I thought. More on that later.

My two weeks were soon up, and I started my new job. The best description of my first month there would be "drinking from a fire hose." Please let this comic from The Oatmeal visually express how I felt.

Only imagine the soccer balls (or futballs, if you're nasty) being tasks. Tasks that I'd never done before, or had any idea how to do, or never heard of. I genuinely don't know how the lady who was there before me got bored doing this job, because it never freaking ends. She must have been some kind of genie or something to keep all the plates that need to be spinning spinning.

I was completely overwhelmed. I'm not going to lie, even after a month I'm still sometimes still completely overwhelmed. Granted, I now know how to do almost everything that I'm being asked to do, but the requests come thick and fast (That's what she said. Sorry...) and constantly. My time at the church taught me how to take care of an office, so it's not like that part is difficult. At least now I don't have to do taxes, or HR, or bookkeeping, but I don't just support the corporate office. I also support offices in at least 7 different states. Any one of them can potentially email me at any time and ask me to order things, or organize a party, or order them lunch, or make reservations for something. Thankfully, only two or three of the out of state offices have done this so far, but it does happen. I'm also not just taking care of the office itself, I'm assisting marketing, accounting, business development, and will eventually be helping out the R&D department as soon as I figure out how to use the software. I'm a lady of all work, and between my normal duties, and what are called "drive bys" which are the random things people come to my desk and ask me to do throughout the day, I work from about 7:30 to 4:30 with few breaks. I'm not even supposed to start work until 8:00, but I have to leave the house very early to avoid school traffic and I have to drive across town now, so I get to the office early and have to play catch up and then the day gets away from me from there. I leave there every day completely exhausted and wrung out like a wet rag. Also, working with Steve? Hardly see him at all anymore. We can't even drive in together because I have to run errands all of the time and have to have my car with me, and he's so busy with after work stuff now that we hardly are in the same room at the same time anymore. Me being in his workspace has caused a bit of friction, but nothing terrible, thankfully. Just the adjustments that you have to make when working with your spouse, I guess.

Some days I'm straight up not having a good time, y'all.

But please don't get me wrong, it isn't terrible. It isn't because I don't like the company, or the job, or the people, or even the random tasks. All of those things are great, actually! Everyone has been so kind, patient with my screw ups, and helpful! Also, I still get Fridays off since very few, if any, people come into the office that day.  I'm even getting to do real, legit graphic design work for the company, which I love. Mostly it's because I'm so. Frigging. Tired. All. Of. The. Time. Exclamation Point.  I'm tired from trying to keep up with everything and I think about work too much. I don't like thinking about work when I'm not at work. That is not the way the world should be! I woke up in the middle of the night one night in a panic that I forgot to do something, and had to go to my computer to fix it so I could go back to sleep. I went from a job that was low key and well known to the complete unknown and responsibilities I have never faced before, and it's stressful. I know that part will eventually smooth out, but for now, I have given up almost everything but working, eating, and going to sleep. That's almost exclusively how things are now. 

I was already in a place where I wasn't interested in doing anything at all, and having to force myself to get out of the house and not become a hermit. I still feel like that, and now I catch myself sometimes going to bed at 8:30 in the evening, or if I don't do that, just sitting down once I get home and not moving again until I decide to go to bed. I still have to force myself to do things that need to be done, but it's even harder now. That is a terrible way to live life, but that's where I am. I'm too blah. 

Plus, I still work for the church. Two-weeks-notice who? I couldn't bring myself to abandon them completely. The lady who comes in to do bookkeeping did not want to do the secretary job the entire week, so now on Sundays I stay after church for a while, and on Wednesdays I go from my new job to my old one and do all of the administrative tasks that don't get done during the week. They have put out an ad for the job, but have had very little interest. The problem is that the job pays very little and doesn't have any benefits. It's basically a job built for a person who doesn't really need a job, or who has another income in the family that covers the majority of the bills. I was lucky to fit that bill well enough that I could do that job for as long as I did, but these days people (rightfully) want more out of their work, and so it's going to be harder for them to find someone who isn't already retired or who literally just wants busy work during the week. It's frustrating for them, and I'm exhausted trying to keep up with it all.

However, I don't mean do sound all "woe is me." It's not like that. I'm just stretched so thin right now that even the things I actually wanted to do before just seem like a chore. I'm adjusting, and that is never a fun process. My work/life balance isn't balanced. 

I have, however, been able to tint my hair any color I want without anyone giving me shit, so that is one very silver (a color I'd like to try one day) lining! I'll take those where I can get them! :)

So, that is an update on my life at the moment. I'm a secretary squared and my life is about as vibrant as a broken toothpick! I hope you are having a more exciting time than I am! 

I hug you.