Monday, September 13, 2021

MY PLACE IN THIS WORLD?

I fell down in a parking lot last Friday.

I'd love to say there was a long and hilarious story about what happened, but there isn't really. I was running errands and not having a great time doing it! 

It all started when I left the house to do the afore mentioned errands. I was having one of those days where everything was just a touch off track, and nothing was going the way I'd hoped it would. I had important things to do and I just kept getting more and more frustrated as time went on because nothing was going right. I decided that my last stop would be the cookie shop, because damnit, I deserved a cookie after all the frustrations. 

Thankfully no cookies were harmed in the fall! I had put them in the passenger seat and was walking back around the car when I twisted my ankle and went down really hard. I caught myself on my hands, but my right knee still hit the asphalt pretty hard. I hit, rolled, and then got up as quickly as I could and got into the car. If the people outside of the shops were watching, I assume the video will be up on Tik Tok in a few days.

I sat in the car for a while, making sure I was actually OK and not just surfing on adrenaline. I hurt, oh yes, I hurt, but nothing seemed broken. My knee and the palms of my hands were shredded, though. It looked like someone had taken a cheese grater to them, but only my knee was bleeding a lot. My ankle was sprained, but not terribly, and my wrists were jammed. Thankfully nothing was broken beyond repair except maybe my pride.

So I did what anyone else in my position would have done. I sat in my car and screamed for a minute. It didn't help my body, but my brain felt a bit better.

I got home and cleaned myself up. I'll give Steve some credit, he did manage not to laugh out loud until he found out I wasn't badly hurt, although I did see him struggle. Hehe. Later on, he came and strapped my bike helmet onto my head in case I tried walking again and fell down. It was probably a good idea!

I'm mostly fine now. The knee has scabbed, my hands look better, my wrists no longer hurt. My ankle is still sprained, though, but I don't have to wear a wrap or anything. Mainly I just slightly limp until I work out the bugs. My body still hurts kind of a lot from hitting the ground, though. I assume the shock wave traveled through my bones and sent nerve tsunamis here and there, but that will pass. What I'm amazed at most is just how many places hit the ground when you fall. We've had many of our elderly church members fall, and when they come back to church, they are covered in bruises. I never understood why they were so beat up until I fell this weekend. At least I have enough fat to protect most of my body, so maybe that's why I don't look worse! 

Here is the weird thing, in my opinion. This is the third time I've fallen in a parking lot (all because of the same stupid ankle twisting, FYI.) I fell in a Home Depot parking lot, I've fallen in a COSTCO parking lot, and now the parking lot of a strip mall. Is that not a ridiculous amount of falling downs? Especially falling downs in parking lots? Wearing different shoes each time? After I had time to think about it, I realized I've never seen anyone else falling down in a parking lot. Just me. Three times. It seems statistically very unusual, doesn't it? 

Is this my job on earth, then? Am I one of the designated People Who Fall Down In Parking Lots? I assume we all have some kind of purpose in this life, so do I keep balance in the force by occasionally twisting my ankle and eating asphalt? Does my clumsiness keep an old lady from falling down and breaking a hip, or a kid from falling down and getting road rash while leaving the grocery store?

If so...this is some bullshit. I was always hoping I had some kind of purpose in the universe, but if this is my designation, I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to someone. And I'm gonna use curse words.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You really need to jump up and yell "SUPERSTAR!!!" the next time you fall down in a parking lot!