WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Yesterday I got some news that completely threw me for a loop.

It's weird to say that, because the news didn't have anything to do with me, or any of my family, or even any of my close friends, but a loop was still thrown.

A couple of my classmates from high school lost their teenage daughter to suicide yesterday. 

I'm not going to overemphasize my connection with this family, as I have neither seen nor talked to them in 25 years or so, but somehow that doesn't really matter. When something like this happens, it doesn't feel like a thing you can separate yourself from by a span of years or degrees of separation. My heart is broken for them.

Since I don't live in Athens anymore, I didn't know this had happened until yesterday evening. When you live out there, this kind of news just seems to come to you by osmosis, but I got added to a Facebook Messenger group for people in my graduating class with no idea why. Even then, no one said what actually happened. The only info is that two of our classmates had lost their daughter, and they wanted us to gather money to send flowers to the funeral. That is tragic enough, to be sure, but people in our graduating class have lost family members before without this kind of pulling together. I don't know if it was morbid curiosity on my part that made me look into it further, or just that nagging feeling that some important piece of the puzzle wasn't in place, but I sent a private message to one of the people I've managed to keep in touch with beyond just Facebook-friend level and asked him what had happened. He didn't know details, but only the fact that she had ended her own life. I didn't need to know more than that.

I'm at a disadvantage, in a way, because I don't have children. I can't fully empathize with how her parents feel because I've never had the same kind of relationship with a child. Granted, I don't think I need to know exactly how they feel to be stricken by this news, but it also makes me feel so helpless for them.

I don't think there is any way to know how to deal with something like this. Obviously, I'm not in any position to do anything for them personally because we haven't been in touch since we were teenagers, but there is this knee jerk reaction to want to help somehow. I can donate money for flowers and food, of course, but that seems like such a small thing. Maybe that's all I can do, but man, that doesn't feel like enough. It's weird how strongly this has affected me, seeing that I only know of this girl through photographs. I couldn't get it out of my head all night and I wish so much this hadn't happened.

I ache for the parents, my former classmates, because I can't even come close to knowing the pain they must be feeling for the loss of their daughter. I feel for the siblings, who are much younger, because I'm sure they don't understand what is going on. Mostly, though, I feel for the 16 year old girl who didn't think there was any other way she could get through her problems. 

So, if you have a spare prayer, or vibe, or thought, or whatever it is you do, please think about sending them towards this family who has had to start a new, and terribly sad, phase of their life. Also, if you or anyone you know is feeling helpless or suicidal, please know there are people who can help. If you don't think you can talk to your family or friends, please contact the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for help.