I'm going insane.
I've only felt this way once before (when I thought I saw myself. Not in a mirror, but actually saw myself standing across the parking lot from myself), and it really threw me for a loop, but for a second yesterday I felt as if my mind had gone unhinged.
I was working with some polymer clay yesterday morning making a tangent I could wear on a necklace, and I remember very clearly pulling the baking sheet out of the oven and taking Josh's ring (which was also baking in there) off of the sheet and putting it on the counter and then going about my business. Normally when I use my oven, I use the built in timer, which reminds me to turn the oven off. However, I used my egg timer for some reason and I didn't touch the oven controls at all after that. Well, I get to school, and in the middle of a lecture it hits me that I've left the oven on. At first I tried to shrug it off and tell myself that it was on a relatively low temp and would be okay until I got home, but I had turned it on at 9:00 and I wouldn't get home until after classes at about 3:45. Next I tried to tell myself that the oven had an automatic off switch, but I knew that wasn't true. Then I suddenly remembered I had a kitchen towel on the stove, so I jumped up and ran out of class, to my car, and started home. I was in full-blown panic mode. I was scared to death, shaking, praying that I would get there before the fire department did. I tore out of the car and ran inside, and the oven was OFF!!
I just sort of stared at it for a second in disbelief. I even punched the "off' button again just to make sure I wasn't mistaken about whether or not it was really off, but I wasn't. I even opened the oven and touched the racks (with my bare hands...what an idiot), and sure enough it was off. I was so confused.
Now, maybe God turned it off, I don't know, but I certainly know that I didn't do it. I even called Steve to see if he had done it, but he hadn't. That completely threw me off for the rest of the day. I mean, I had gone into a panic attack! It took me hours to get back to normal. Weirdness. Someone call Unsolved Mysteries or something.
Friday, February 11, 2005
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Kelly,
I am a one of the mysterious creatures known as Wall Trolls. We are not Pixies, Elves, Fairies, Leprechauns or Gremlins. We live in the walls and attic of many homes, including yours. We normally live quiet and peaceful lives, so we do not usually interact with the outside (human) world. Because of the tragic events surrounding the annual celebration of the birthday of the oldest living member of our family, I elected to tell you how your oven was turned off the other day and give you a warning.
Every year we celebrate the birthday of the oldest living family member. The location of the celebration is shared among the many families that make up our clan, "The Spider Clan". We are called that because we have 8 fingers, four on each hand and a thumb for a total of ten digits. (Except me, the thumb on the left hand is missing due to an accident in you blender.) There is a movement afoot by some of the rouge members of the family to change the name of the clan to the "Decaclan" because of the two thumbs. But I say what good are two thumbs if they are on backwards?....Never mind all that! I was saying that this year was my family's turn to host the birthday party for Grandpa Bemelin who was 128 years old on Thursday. Grandpa Bemelin prefers ice cream cake over frosted cakes or cupcakes. So we got the family all together and were having the birthday party for grandpa. We choose to have the party in the oven since it the best place for all of us to gather. It has a light and is fairly clean, plus we can swing from the racks when we play. We noticed when we gathered that the oven was warm but we went ahead with the party anyway. When we brought the ice cream cake out and it started to MELT! Cousin Lemelin climbed out of the oven to check and found that it was still on! He turned it off, but the damage was already done, the cake was ruined! Grandma Bemelin was so overcome that she fainted and fell against the heating coil and singed her beard and burned her eye. Now she can’t blink it very well. Needless to say the event brought so much distress to the whole birthday celebration, we were shamed in front of the entire clan and were told we would never be allowed to host another one. Our only way to repay you is play tricks and jokes on you. So, if you hear a noise, or if Butler barks at “nothing” or things aren’t as you left them, then know that we are extracting our revenge. If you contact the authorities we will hide so that they will never find us, and we will have to resort to hire the mercenaries called the “Gremlins”. They will take the revenge to the next level. BE WARNED!
Signed:
Ringwal of the Wall Troll Spider Clan. a.k.a “Lefty”
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