What Now

BLOGGED ALONG THE WAY: Weekend Update edition.

FRIDAY: I have been asked to sing at a wedding this weekend, and tonight was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. It always scares me to sing at weddings because even the nicest, sweetest bride-to-be can become a screeching, leering, shoe-throwing succubus who will scratch your eyes out if you do anything to ruin their big day. Yeah. So far, I have avoided this. However, the fact that it could happen still scares the hell out of me. Add to this that I don't know this bride very well, and I also don't know the song very well, and you have one nervous Kelly. I went to the rehearsal practicing the song in the car all the way to the church. Thank heavens that the bride turned out to be very nice and have a very good sense of humor and who wasn't scary. Also, thank heavens that I knew the song well enough that they thought my rendition of it was great. I mean, I don't suppose I'll be hurting Rascal Flatt's CD sales or anything, but I guess I'll do OK.

Now, I've sung at a lot of weddings in my day. A lot. More than my fair share, some might say. I've been to sweet weddings, simple weddings, redneck weddings, weddings that had less than 10 guests, and some that had more than 400. I've seen redneck weddings, weddings that cost more than the total of my college tuition, beach weddings, weddings that the groom was totally suckered - excuse me- convinced into (sad to say) and at least one where I'm pretty sure the bride was suckered into it. I've seen shotgun weddings and weddings between teenagers (sometimes one in the same, but not always). I say this to explain that I have been to all kinds of weddings, and I have never had a problem with getting all emotional (well, except for the ones where my friends got suckered. But I digress.) However, there is one thing that can happen at a wedding that will get me every time. I can't explain it and I can't understand it. If you want to see me fall completely apart and cry like a tired 3 year old, you can do one thing. Play the song "Butterfly Kisses." I have no idea why that song gets to me, but it does every time. I can't even hear it in the car without sobbing like a cook on Hell's Kitchen. It bothers me even more when the father of the bride or groom isn't there. Guess which song is playing right before I sing? Guess who won't be at the wedding because he died? Also, guess who had to leave the rehearsal to "get a drink of water?" I held out as long as I could, seriously. I sat there, blinking back tears, my throat hurting from being all constricted. It was a mess. Luckily I was able to get a hold onto myself before my solo, but jeez. I can only hope I make it through the actual ceremony. If I'm ever asked to sing Butterfly Kisses, I will have to shoot myself.

I didn't stay for the dinner because I had yet to actually find something to wear. I have a lot of black dresses, but since this is an afternoon wedding and I have no objection to the wedding due to the fact that I don't know them well enough and they both seem very nice, black isn't appropriate. That isn't to say I wear black only to weddings I mourn. Sometimes I just feel fat and black helps. I'm babbling here. Anyways, I went to Target to look for a non-black dress and I couldn't find the one I was looking for in any color than black or screaming coral pink. Literally, the coral dress burnt my retinas. So I finally dug something up that is probably not my style but still really cute, and I went to find matching shoes. I know that I have deformed, stumpy, munchkin feet and I don't have many options, but good grief. I don't believe it's possible to find a high heeled shoe in an actual color (and by that I mean not black, white or brown) that doesn't look like it belongs on a hooker or a drag queen. Yellow would have been the best color shoe to get, but I didn't feel like trying to walk in a 5 inch heel. I finally found something that matched, but I'm not very happy with them. Oh, the trials of being a girl. : )