Friday, November 30, 2012


1) I'll be honest, I thought I'd have more time to blog since I'd be, once again, sitting behind a computer for most of the day.  Silly me.  You know, I feel like a complete dork when I say that my job is demanding.  Honestly, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm JUST a church secretary.  I don't have to save lives, or negotiate with terrorists.  I don't even have to go to meetings or teach anyone anything.  As far as jobs go, it isn't very important in the scheme of things, but daggum if I don't come home from work everyday feeling like I've had to run a military obstacle course while someone fires tennis balls at me from an air cannon. 

I could actually go on and on about why the job is currently frustrating, but it would take a long time.  It isn't even anything really huge, just a lot of little things that have suddenly come to light that nobody noticed before. I can't finish one project without someone coming by and finding something else that needs to be done RIGHT NOW, and it all gets tangled up and the daily stuff can barely get finished. I'm hoping that eventually we can get everything caught up and fixed so that I won't dread going to work everyday. 'Cause right now, I do.

Office work aside, I've realized it's hard to work for a church in other ways.  There are so many people who call or come by asking for help.  Some people need food, which we can provide as long as our benevolence pantry has been stocked.  Most people need money, which we can't provide because we just don't have the funds.  So many people call asking if we help with rent, utilities, and things like that, and there's nothing we can do for them.  It's depressing as hell. Then we have the people who call with hard luck stories and come by with their hands out, but they're scammers.  They want the church to give them money, or pay bills, or give them food and what it all comes down to is that they want something for nothing.  We've even had someone call asking if we'd pay their cable bill!  We've had people come by crying because they don't have money for this or that, and when offered a short time job to earn the money, because that kind of pay can be worked out, they never come back.  That's depressing in a whole other way.  It also makes me angry, because I can't tell the difference between those who truly need help and the ones who just go from church to church asking for handouts. I'll be almost in tears thinking about the sick, little old lady who comes by asking to just pray with the pastor, only to find out that she comes by every so often to scam for money and the whole "Just want to pray with the pastor" thing is her way to get a foot in the door. 

I love my church, and I love the people I'm working with, but I'm swiftly losing faith in humanity by working there.

2) Thanksgiving was great, thanks for asking!  Once again we traveled to Georgia to spend the holiday with our Puckett and McGee family, minus a couple of them due to a wedding up north.  Our food was awesome, seriously, the turkey was the best we've ever made in my humble opinion, and except for an unfortunate canned sweet potato incident and the fact that I accidentally booby-trapped the coleslaw (I answered the age old question of how much cayenne pepper is really too much), everything was wonderful.  When we weren't eating, we were hanging out, playing games, and watching silly TV shows together.  The only difference is that we didn't do Christmas together that week.  Since Greg's wife and daughter were at the wedding, we've decided to put it off until another time when everyone can be there! 

3) Ha!  I was such an idiot the other day!  I had to go to Target to do some grocery shopping, and there were just TONS of people in there.  It was a cold day, so most of them were drinking cups of whatever from the Starbucks at the front of the store. (That's important, I promise.) As I was walking down an aisle, my foot slipped in some brown liquid.  I was wearing my Fuggs (Fake Uggs, if you don't already know) and the soles of them have very little traction. Anytime I walk on something wet or slick, I slide around.  Luckily I didn't fall down, but I thought that someone must've spilled their coffee and no one had come by to clean it up.  How rude, right?  Well, I walked a little further, and I slipped again.  Again, it was some brown liquid, and I thought that maybe someone had a hole in their cup and didn't realize it.  As I walked, my feet kept slipping in dribbles of this brown stuff.  I slipped and slid so much that it got stupid and I started laughing.  I couldn't figure out how in the world I was managing to walk in the exact path of the person with the leaky coffee cup!  I even started weaving the basket, just to see if I could get out of the path of it.  It wasn't till I stopped in the meat section for a second and AGAIN slipped in a big puddle of stuff that I realized one of the Coke Zero bottles in my cart had a leak, and I'd been bobbing and weaving all over the store trying to get away from the "coffee" on the floor, only to be spreading it all over the place myself!  I felt like such an idiot, and I'm glad no one else slipped and fell because of me.  At least I helped clean it up!  That's got to count for something, right?

Wednesday, November 07, 2012


1) Well, it's official, I'm the new Church Lady (TM)!  I've been training twice a week since sometime in late July, I think, and I don't feel much more prepared to take over than I did that first week, but there you go.  The time has come and I'm going to do the best I can.  :)

My first official act as church secretary was to be a complete dorkfish.  See, the woman who just left the job has a similar name as my own.  Well, similar in the sense that her name is Katie and my name is Kelly, and if you are hard of hearing or not paying attention, you might mistake one for the other.  Since pretty much my first week, when I'd answer the phone, saying my name and everything, whomever was on the other end seemed to think I was Katie.  At first I'd try to correct whomever was on the other end of the line, but it happened so often that I gave up and just let whomever had called think they were speaking to Katie.

Right when I was in the middle of trying to complete a task I was completely unfamiliar with (this was after Katie was gone) I got a call from a lady who was upset about something.  Our pastor usually provides counseling, or at least a listening ear, to people who have problems both real and imagined.  One thing I've been specifically instructed NOT to do is try to fix people's problems, which I'm OK with because how in the world would I know what to tell them?  Unfortunately, when this lady called, she called me Katie, and I just went with it because she sounded upset and it would have been more trouble than it was worth to correct her.  When I told her the preacher was unavailable because he was out on a visit, she immediately launched into telling me her issue.  I didn't know what to do, but I calmed her down the best way I knew how (don't worry, it wasn't life or death stuff) and thought that would be the end of it.  Alas...she started asking me some questions about "my pregnancy" and "my doctor" and I kind of panicked.  I honestly didn't know what to do, because in not correcting her when she first assumed I was Katie, it would have seemed very weird to tell her who I was at that point.  Oy.  Luckily, I knew the answers to most of what she asked, and I just pretended I was Katie until she hung up.  On Sunday, the pastor told me that he'd actually talked to the lady later on that night, and she'd told him how sweet and helpful Katie was and how she was sure that the "New Girl" would be fine, but she was sorry to hear Katie was leaving.

*shakes head*

2) So there was an election yesterday.  I personally didn't vote.

Oh, wipe that look off of your face.  I had my reasons. 

I didn't feel I was informed enough to make a good decision about anything on the ballot, and believe it or not, I'm uncomfortable making uninformed decisions about important things.  As you well know, if you're a long time reader (or if you personally know me at all), you know that anytime I make a decision about anything without thinking about it first, things go awry:  things get set on fire,  I get fired from a job, or I end up getting caught up in things I don't want to be involved in!  I wish I had known more about the amendments and local candidates that were on the ballots, because I'd have liked to be able to vote on them, but I didn't understand a lot of what they were trying to accomplish.  I really, really hate politics.  It turns perfectly nice people into complete and total know-it-all, narrow minded jerks.

I prayed that the right candidates be chosen, so I'm hoping that prayer was answered.  My main hope is that the government doesn't cut the military and defense budgets too severely.  Steve's job, as well as most of the people's jobs in this town, rely on those contracts to exist.  I like my town too much to see it destroyed.

I was happy to see that some states have finally passed marriage equality laws!  Josh and Jeoff can't get married yet, though, but hopefully they can soon.  :) 

3) So, my weight loss has completely stalled.  Granted, I haven't been as hard at work as I was before we left for New Orleans, and I'd set that weekend as my goal date.  I didn't quite hit my goal, but I came close.  Now I need to start a whole new program with a new goal, but it's so, so, so hard.  I'm still seeing the dieticin I need to get my head back in the game and my body back in the gym.  It's harder now that I have a job, because that means I have to get up early to go and I'm too used to sleeping in to make myself do it.  I'd go after work, but at this point I'm still so stressed about learning everything that I'm exhausted by the time I get home and all I want to do is eat cupcakes and chips.  I wish I wasn't a stress-eater.  I didn't think being a church secretary would be stressful, but until I learn what I need to know and get more comfortable, my nerves will be pulled tight - and so will my pants.

4) I think my veterinarian is trying to emotionally destroy me.  A few weeks ago, we took Butler to be boarded while we were in Louisiana.  When I got there, the girl behind the counter called Butler "Bear."  Now, I can't blame them for that, because they only really see us a few times a year and it's on record that we had a dog named Bear, so the mistake is bound to happen.  The girl apologized and I said that it was fine...yadda, yadda.  Then she took the PA mic, and called "Bear Pratt is here for boarding."  She looked mortified, and she kept apologizing over and over.  I told her it was OK, but she looked like she'd kicked the dog, not just called him by the wrong name.  Several days after we got back from our trip, we got a card in the mail from the vet.  It had a big tree on the front, and on the inside it said that a tree had been planted in Bear's name in one of the national forests.  I'd been OK when she called Butler Bear, but that just sent me over the edge and I had another pitiful, snotty crying session on the floor of my kitchen over the fact that they got him a tree.  Does it ever end?

I kind of wonder if they usually do that for pets when they have to be put down, and maybe it just takes a few months before they get the card sent to them, or if they felt bad for calling Butler by Bear's name so many times that day and they did it to make up for that?  I don't know.  Maybe my wailing the day we had to put him down traumatized them and they're afraid that I'm so emotionally fragile that if they remind me of him I'll jump off the roof.  At any rate, Bear has a tree. :)  That was sweet of them.