Tuesday, June 30, 2009


1) As I was getting the mail the other day, I found an envelope from the DOT of Savannah! Apparently, the sneaky traffic cameras caught me running a red light. Well, to be technical, the cameras caught Steve running a red light, but since the car is registered in my name, I'm the one who got the ticket. It had pictures of Lois completely blowing through an obvious red light, but I don't remember that happening at all. Sometimes Steve drives like a crazy person, but he doesn't do stupid things like run red lights on purpose! We must have, since there is proof, but I don't remember it. Sigh. Big Brother is watching us, indeed. He is also watching us more closely than we are watching ourselves!

2) My mosquito bites are almost gone, thank goodness. I don't get them very often anymore, since I don't go outside as much as I used to. I forget how much they itch! I had one on my ankle that looked like three or four bugs got together and shared a vein, it was about two inches in diameter! That one was the worst, but the others were just as ugly. Seriously, bug bites on a pale person look like measles!

3) I'm finally back at work and making signs again. I didn't think I'd miss it that much, but I'm glad to be back and doing something constructive. I mean, it's not that I didn't like the napping, catching up on the laundry or vacation, but I'm glad to be back!

More later. I've got work to do!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

If you want to read about my adventures in Savannah in chronological order, scroll down a few entries. If not, read away! :) There are no pictures included because some have been saved on the laptop and the rest are still in my camera. I'll post a few of them as soon as I can!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


JUNE 24, 2009 - Not much to talk about today. We got up, are packing and soon will be headed on our way! Thanks again to Kenny and Lauren for including me as their wedding guest so that I had a reason to come out this way!

I'm going to miss you Savannah, but if I possibly can, I promise to come back and see you again! :)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


JUNE 23, 2009 - This morning I woke up early, determined not to waste our last full day in Savannah. I had a list of things I wanted to do, so as soon as we got ready, we left. The first place we went was the river walk. Most things ended up being closed because it was so early, but we did manage to get a few souvenirs. We left there and went to Broughton Street, where we visited the Savannah Bee Company Honey Shop. We tasted honey and bought several things! I actually wanted one of the signature bottles of honey, but they didn't have the kind I especially wanted in a bottle like that. We did, however, get several small bottles of honey and half of a mason jar of the Black Sage honey (my favorite). We are going to have a LOT of honey at our house for a while, I believe.

We left there and had lunch at the Moon River Brewery, which had really great food, but since we don't drink beer, we didn't get to try any of their specialties. We didn't care, though, because we just wanted the air conditioning, really. We had several other things on our list, but we didn't do them for one reason or another. I was really afraid we'd just end up wasting the rest of our time, but we didn't. One our way back to our room, we almost added a new ghost to the "Most Haunted City In America." Don't worry, it wasn't us who almost joined the astral plane, it was the dumbass bicyclist who thought that his Schwinn was a match for several automobiles. We had just made a turn to drive along the edge of Forsyth Park, and I saw a guy on a bicycle riding closely beside us. It scared me because I thought that we were going to hit him. When we didn't, I thought that he was going to get on the sidewalk and ride, so I didn't think much else about him until I saw him whip around the car from the driver's side and get in front of us. He was really booking, so I figured that he was out of harm's way, but I don't guess Lance Armstrong was being too careful because he wiped out in a major way right in front of the car! BAM, the guy hit the pavement. I'm glad Steve was driving, because he was able to slam on the breaks in time to not hit the guy. There was also a car in the other lane who was able to stop in time, but it was almost creamed by a truck that was speeding along behind it. We heard a squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of breaks and tires, but no impact. Thank goodness! The guy grabbed his bike and hauled it off of the roadway, but we didn't see if he was hurt. We probably should have. Hmmmmmmm. I don't think we played the good Samaritans, but it's kind of hard to do that when you are screaming obscenities at someone. It comes across as disingenuous.

We had to come back and drop some things off in our hotel room, and since it was still early, I asked Steve what he wanted to do. He hemmed and hawed for a long time and asked what I wanted to do, but since I had already told him a thousand times that I didn't know, I finally told him to just PICK something so that we weren't just sitting in our room all day. He did a bit of looking on the web and said that he wanted to go back to Tybee Island and go to one of the bigger, more popular public beaches. I was all for that, and I actually wore my entire suit so that I could go swimming! I didn't like it, but I did it. When we got to the beach, the place was PACKED to the gills. Streets were blocked off and there was absolutely no places to park. I couldn't believe that there were so many people there on a Tuesday afternoon, so we kept driving to try and find a place to park. We couldn't even go to the shops along the beach, which is one of the things we wanted to do! We finally pulled down a street and saw that it was blocked off at one end! Boo! We were going to have to turn around and Steve noticed that there were cranes with lights all over the place. I had totally forgotten that Miley Cyrus is somewhere in Savannah this week filming something. She was at the beach, and that was why so many people were there! CURSE YOU, HANNAH MONTANA! We finally drove back a little ways and found a stretch of beach and a parking space that wasn't covered by squeeing tweens and curious teenage boys. It was nice and quiet, and the water was as warm as a bath. It was very nice. I didn't swim for long, but I spent the couple of hours we were there reading and relaxing. After we left there, we went to one of the cheesy beach souvenir shops and then came back to the hotel. We spent the rest of the evening relaxing, watching TV, and ordering room service. Sadly, this is our last day in Savannah and we have to go home tomorrow. :( I really like this place. I just feel very at home here. I've also decided I'm going to live here one day. I'm going to buy one of the houses along Forsyth Park and be old, sassy and southern among the Spanish moss. That's my goal.

Monday, June 22, 2009


JUNE 22, 2009 - Today was our designated beach day! We went to Tybee Island and just had a lazy morning. We actually went to the quiet beach in front of the big light house, so it was not crowded and we just kind of hung out. Steve actually dig a hole and made a "recliner" in the sand, so he was happy. I didn't wear the bottom half of my suit (I know what you're thinking, and I just mean I wore shorts instead. Pervert!) so I didn't swim, but I waded. There weren't any shells to speak of, but I found a couple. There was also a large horse shoe crab that someone caught, and it scared the crap out of me. It was huge! I mean, if someone took the shell off of the crab, Steve could wear it like an army helmet, that's how big it was. They saw me recoil from it and laughed. Buttheads. Let me wield a humongous prehistoric sea creature in their faces and see how they like it!

We didn't stay out there long, and we decided to go to The Crab Shack for lunch. I've heard wonderful things about the place, so I was excited about eating there! They said they weren't seating inside yet, but they sat us outside in a place surrounded by fans so it wasn't so bad. I am really not fond of seafood, but I didn't want to come to a place called The Crab Shack and eat anything other than seafood, so we ordered a big platter of stuff for two. They brought out this enormous platter with potatoes, corn, crawfish, giant spider-looking crab legs, stone crab claws, steamed mussels, and sausage, all covered in butter and spices. I'm going to be honest, I wasn't a fan. I hate to say that since I've heard nothing but good things about the place, but it was gross. The crab legs were good, which I wasn't expecting, but everything else I tried was bad. Not only that, but flies began crawling all over our food. FLIES! We couldn't keep them off, and even though I tried to look past it, I know that flies are disease carrying carrion eaters, and they were walking and licking the food on the platter and that made me gag. I gave up and just ate crackers. I also played with the crawfish. Shut up, they were cute. I was disgusted about the flied, though. Steve doesn't get disgusted as easily as I do, so he ate what he could hold. I felt bad, but at least I tried. If I ever go again, I'd like to eat inside and only order crab legs. Otherwise, I just won't go back. It was gross. Also, there were bugs flying around outside and spiderwebs all over the place. I didn't tell Steve until we were back home, but there was a giant spider in a web behind him. If he had known, he would have died. Seriously, he would have died. He would have screamed like a girl first, but his heart would have stopped. I was glad to get out of there. Look, I know I sound like a snob, and trust me, I'm not squeamish about trying new foods or eating in out of the way places, but I draw the line at eating food covered in bugs. Until I'm a missionary living in the jungle and I actually HAVE to eat food covered in flies, I'm going to pass, thanks. GROSS! BLEH.

We went back to the lighthouse to visit the gift shop, and then we headed home! We were burned, tired, and covered in crab juice. We came back to the hotel and took a shower and then slept like dead people. I don't even think we meant to sleep as long as we did, but we were so tired. After we got up, we went to World Market and bought some candy and then to dinner. We didn't go anywhere interesting, because we just didn't have the energy, so we just ate at a Mexican place across from where we were staying and came back to sleep some more.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


JUNE 21, 2009 - This morning Steve and I went on a tour of Bonaventure (which I keep wanting to call Bonaventura for some reason) Cemetery which is a huge, old and unbelievably beautiful place. We had arranged a tour with the same people who did our ghost tour, and it turned out that Steve and I were the only ones to sign up for that day. At first we couldn't find our tour guide, but we finally located him waiting on us. I felt kind of bad for him, because it must be kind of a drag to give an elaborate tour to only two people, and I could also tell that he had the actual tour down to a patter that wasn't as effective to just the two of us. We also had a very strange vocal tic where he kind of hummed after everything he said. It was kind of weird, but he was a wonderful guide. We walked a long way and learned a LOT about the people buried there. I wish I could have spent longer looking and taking pictures, as I am an avid taphophile, but it was just too damn hot out there. I don't remember how long we were out there, and it was a LONG time, but we were hot, dirty, sweaty, and thirsty by the time we were done. That has to be one of the most beautiful cemeteries that I've ever seen, and the headstones were amazing. If I ever get a chance, I'll go back and do some grave rubbings. When we left, we tried to find a Target because we needed some essentials, but the stupid GPS must have gotten mad at me for abusing it the night before, because it took us WAY out of town. I'm not sure where we ended up, but it certainly wasn't Target. We had to find a way back into town, because we had made reservations for that night at a fancy, historical restaurant called The Olde Pink House. We heard it was (possibly) very haunted on the ghost tour last night and we wanted to eat with some dead folks.

I'm not sure how long we were actually gone, but I was in quite a state by the time we were able to rest and get ready. I apparently didn't hear Steve right when he told me what time our reservation was for, because 15 minutes before we were supposed to be there, I still wasn't ready. I still stand behind my belief that he told me 7:30, but he said he told me 6:30 (he didn't, I swear) we had to call and push our reservation back until 8:45. Luckily we were able to do that! Yay!

We did have another small problem while getting ready, and I should probably be ashamed for thinking it's funny, but I'm not! When I got out of the shower, I walked back into our room and saw Steve looking distressed. He had been ironing his dress pants before getting dressed, but now he was just standing there staring at them on the board. Bless his heart, he hadn't payed attention to the setting on the iron before he got started and he had burned an iron-shaped hole in his pants! He looked so pitiful, but I couldn't help but laugh! I've never actually known anyone to do that in real life! Poor guy, though, it was the only pair of nice pants he had brought, so he had to wear jeans. He looked handsome anyways!

After we got ready, we decided to try and find that elusive Target again!
After driving a considerable distance, and being miseld by the stupid GPS again, we finally did find a Target on our own and we bought a new GPS holder, which made me happy because I was having to hold the dumb thing up the whole time we were driving. I also had to buy a new pair of shoes because none of the many pairs of shoes I brought with me were doing my feet any good. At this point, I had blisters, wounds, and hurty spots all over my feet: in short, my feet hurt. A lot. I got a pair of Chucks and a few other things and even though it was a little early, we finally made our way to the restaurant. I'm glad we decided to go early, because it took us a LONG time to find a place to park. We finally found a spot about a block away and walked over. They were able to seat us immediately, so that was awesome! The restaurant was wonderful and the food was spectacular. I had pecan-crusted chicken with some kind of sauce on it, whipped sweet potatoes and collards. I know the food was good because I ate the collard greens and I usually HATE them. We also got dessert, which I can't exactly describe because there was a lot going on with it, but I will just call it Awesome with Fruit and Ice Cream. I could eat one of whatever it was every day for a year and still think it was good! *drool*

As for ghosts, I didn't see anything. Trust me, I looked. The Olde Pink House is supposed to be one of the 7 most haunted locations in the country, and I didn't see or feel anything. Steve, on the other hand, did! BOO, I'm jealous! He and I were talking and he kind of jumped a little and looked weird and asked if anyone was behind him. There wasn't anyone there, not a server or even a table with people at it, so he looked kind of funny when I said no one was there. His chair had slid away from the table, and he didn't do it! He even tried to do it and the chair wouldn't move like that when he pushed it! No fair! :( I got nothing.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


JUNE 20, 2009 - Savannah is hot. I only say it that simply because there are few words to describe the drowning-on-dry-land feeling that I encountered today. Steve and I were woken by a shaft of light so bright that for a moment I thought that the sun had gone supernova. Apparently, we haven't quite figured out how to close the curtains all the way! Something to work on later! Our first adventure this morning was a trip to Forsyth Park. I have seen tons of pictures of the park, but none of them did it justice. The place is beautiful! I'm really falling in love with the live oaks and Spanish moss. We saw a farmer's market, which was kind of interesting. There were also lots of dogs out today, but I only got to pet one of them. :( We walked the perimeter of the park and looked at the beautiful houses all around. I would love to live in one of them! I love old houses, and a lot of these were just so interesting! We also located the famous fountain, which was just a nice in person as it is in the pictures. By the time we had gone all the way around and then some, we were both dripping sweat and kind of feeling gross, so we stopped at an antique store to get out of the heat for a few minutes, and we ended up in a place where we could afford nothing and it was housed in a crumbling, old mansion. I'm not exaggerating about that, it was really crumbling. We walked through four of it's five floors, and I think the house would be beautiful if it were restored, but it was kind of scary. We were beginning to be afraid that we might fall through the floors, so we left and went to have lunch at Clary's. It was small, and reminded me of Aunt Eunice's, and the food was great! We had some trouble getting the car out of the tiny lot, but we finally managed it and did a couple of errands before returning to the hotel.

I made sure to get back to the hotel in abundant time to get ready for Kenny and Lauren's wedding! After holding up the dinner the night before because I was late, I didn't want to take that chance again. I almost made myself late again, but I managed to get ready and use the GPS (for the first time) to successfully locate the Mansion on Forsyth Park. It was so beautiful! Since I don't understand valet parking and didn't want to embarrass myself, I found a place to park on the street (that is an important tid-bit for later, so pay attention) and went into the hotel. I immediately found a very handsome Kenny who didn't look at all nervous. :) I spoke to him and had someone take our picture, and then I got out of the way of the bustle. As the guests arrived I found that another guest, Elizabeth, and I had on the exact same dress! We have never met in person, we live in different towns and we bought them from two different places, but they were exact down to the bow on the sash! We just have very good taste! Heeheehee! The wedding was outside (gulp) but under a nice tent in the courtyard. It had a chandelier and everything! The actual ceremony went over without a hitch, and Kenny and Lauren are now married! I think my heart grew three sizes that day. :) I had a tickle in my throat at the absolute worst moment, the "does anyone have any reason to object" moment, but I managed to keep in on the DL. I didn't feel like getting beat down by the bride! The music was beautiful and everything was so lovely. While the bride and groom were off taking pictures, I got a chance to talk to more of the people whom I've only ever heard of in stories, and I found them all to be lovely people.

We moved to the restaurant next door to begin the reception, and had drinks and nibbly foods while waiting on the dining room to be prepared. I got to know a guy I've heard about for years, Stephen, an old friend of Kenny's. He's a lawyer, and in spite of that, a lot of fun to talk to! :) I also got to meet the lovely Elisabeth, Kenny's unofficial sister, who I liked a whole lot! I finally got to meet Rick, Bonita's husband and Kenny's Step dad, Lauren's parents, her god sisters, and there were so many others! They were all seriously great people. It took a little while, but as soon as the newlyweds returned, the reception dinner finally began. The dining room was very beautiful and I was afraid I was going to break something or knock something over, so I found a seat at the very end of the table and parked myself. I sat across from Wendy Brown...ahem, I mean WENNYBROWN! (exclamation point is a part of the name, not punctuation.) I'm fairly sure she is a kindred spirit of mine. She was a hoot! We were also sitting next to Lauren's God parents and one of her family's neighbors. We had so much fun with them, because they were bonafide, dyed in the wool, Connecticut Yankees! We spent the whole dinner discussing the differences between being from the north versus being from the south. It led to very, very entertaining conversation, and I'm seriously afraid that I laughed entirely too loud. Seriously, I actually laughed like my Atnip relatives, and that involves throwing the head back and pretty much shrieking. I'd like to apologize to everyone at 700 Drayton, Lauren, Kenny, their collected friends and family and the state of Georgia for my behavior. The lady who was sitting beside me kept saying "She's like this and she isn't even drinking!!" At least I kept them laughing along with me. I had way too much fun! Dinner was absolutely wonderful, and everything was fancy and lovely. I didn't spill anything or knock anything over, so score a point for me! Unfortunately, I was going to have to leave before the festivities were over because Steve had gotten into the "spirit" *ahem* of things and made reservations for us to go on a ghost tour through the city! I figured out that if I left by 8:30, I'd have plenty of time to make it back to the hotel and change before we had to meet the group, so at the appointed time I stood and said goodbye and hugged a series of very wonderful people who I had spent the evening with! I even managed to hug Emo Waiter Andrew, because he looked like he needed one. Miss Bonita caught me at the door and we talked for a few minutes and she asked me if I could wait until the cake was cut, and I hated to miss that, so I agreed! I'm so glad that they didn't smush cake on each other, because I really hate when people do that! :) I stepped into the foyer, and Bryan caught me to hug me good bye and talk for a second, and at this point I completely lost track of time. I kept hearing a weird noise, but I didn't think anything about it. When he walked back into the reception, I realized that this annoying noise I kept hearing was my new phone ringing! Oh, Crap!

I looked at the time and nearly fainted! I saw that it was Steve trying to call (he didn't know how long I was going to be gone and had gotten worried about me) but by the time I figured out how to answer the damned thing he had hung up. I tried calling him back, but I couldn't figure out how to send a call! I kept looking at my phone and yelling "CALL DAMNIT!" which I'm sure the host at the desk behind me found amusing. I ran out of the building yelling at my phone and trying to find my keys. It was a disorganized mess. I had my hands full, things were falling, I was shrieking and running and trying to get the stupid phone to make a call. Oh, and I also had to pee really bad. I didn't have time to run back in, so I figured I'd just do it when I ran into the hotel to change clothes. I finally got to my car, and two cars...oh, friends and neighbors...two cars had me trapped in the space I was parked in. You wouldn't think that could happen on a curb, but these numbnuts idiots had parked within about 7 inches of each end of my car. I don't know what they were thinking when they parked where they did, but they were way too close for me to just pull out. So there I was, still yelling at my phone, trying to get things organized enough to actually drive, freaking out because I thought I was going to be late for the tour that I was looking forward to, needing to pee, and add to that I was trying to start the GPS and hook it into the holder! Of course, in about 30 seconds of trying to affix the GPS to the holder, I managed to snap the hinge off of the holder. I screamed an explicative at it as it fell apart in my hands. Then my phone rang again, and it was Steve, asking where I was. I was having a small scale come-apart, but I managed to answer the phone this time. I had to throw the GPS aside and try to pull out of my parking space without plowing into one of the cars, all while trying to give Steve directions on the clothes he needed to get out for me so that I could change when I got back to the hotel. I went in reverse, and immediately bumped into the car behind me. My only saving grace is that I was going less than 1 MPH since I had pretty much only let my foot off the brake when I rolled back. I figure that anyone who parks THAT close to another vehicle doesn't care much what happens to their car, so I didn't even get out of the car to look. I pulled forward about 6 inches, then reversed, back, forth, back, forth...ect. I was finally able to get out of the spot without hitting anyone else and began my ride back. Luckily I had at least set the GPS before I broke the holder, so it helped me get on my way. Steve was worried that we weren't going to make it, so I just told him to meet me outside with my flip-flops (I NEEDED to ditch the shoes I was wearing, because it was a walking tour) and that I would run in and go to the bathroom while he jumped into the drivers seat. I would just wear the dress I wore to the wedding.

We made it, just barely. We did end up waiting a few minutes before our group set off, but it wasn't long. I was severely overdressed, but at least my feet were comfy! I really, really enjoyed the tour! We had an awesome tour guide and she told a lot of great stories of ghoolies, ghosties and long leggedy beasties. We walked two miles, and my ankles and legs were a buffet for mosquitoes the size of seagulls. We also took a lot of pictures, as the tour guide suggested, to get "Spirit Orbs" and ghost photos. We got a lot of orbs in our pictures, but I generally follow the TAPS rule that orbs usually mean dust. Of course, I did a have a couple of orbs in my pictures that looked different than others, so maybe I got a spook after all!

By the time we got back to the hotel, it was almost midnight and my feet felt like they had been beaten with switches. They were even bleeding in places! However, I wasn't worried because I'd had a wonderful day. I was also exhausted and I will soon be passed out asleep.

Friday, June 19, 2009


PROLOGUE: This is the story about our trip to Savannah and what we did there! It was a great trip and we had a lot of fun. It was also very, very hot, and I believe that I finally, honestly earned the title (given to me by Greg P. in 1997) as the "Showerin'-est Taking Person" in the world. I think it's just Georgia, because I don't feel the need to shower twice a day at home. Also, forgive me for the rambling and for leaving out some details, because it was a long and busy trip, but if I remember anything later on, I'll tell you about it! Enjoy! :)

FRIDAY JUNE 19, 2009 - We almost overslept this morning! I apparently learned to turn off the alarm in my sleep, because Steve and I both woke up about an hour and a half later than we had intended. We had a lot to do today, and I was afraid we had gotten off on the wrong foot. Luckily, we didn't do too bad. The first order of business, of course, was to take the fuzzy ones to the "resort". Although we had a little trouble at first, surprisingly they acted nicer than usual, except for a brief moment where a new dog came into the waiting room and I got super-nosed in the butt. That was no fun at all! Butler was also going to have his teeth cleaned, so we had to meet with one of the surgical interns to sign some paperwork. We didn't tell Butler that he was getting dental work because he still doesn't trust us after the last time that they pulled his tooth! We had a major buzz kill while waiting to be taken back to see the intern. This older lady comes in with a chihuahua wrapped in a towel, and the lady was crying. She had brought the dog in to be put down, but we didn't hear why. Steve and I felt so bad! :(

My phone died last night, and I couldn't find my charging cable anywhere, so in a quick Wal-Mart dash to find a new one (which didn't happen because my phone is so old and outdated that they don't carry that kind anymore) Steve got me a new phone! Shut up, we were desperate. It's a Razor phone, or something like that, and I have no idea how it works or what it sounds like yet. Also, since my old phone was completely dead, I couldn't get into my address book to copy any numbers to the new phone. Steve transferred the old SIM card to the new phone, but none of my numbers transferred over. Luckily I had gotten a text from Kenny the night before and that showed up on my phone, so at least I had HIS number. Of course, his is the most important, right? :) I played around with it for a while while we drove, but I still don't know much about it. I hope I learn before I have an emergency. I don't even know how to actually make it dial out a number, but I'm not going to worry about that yet. I'll figure it out.

Today was the day that we drove across Georgia to get to Savannah! I've been wanting to come here for a long time, but we had never gotten around to it. Now, however, we had a really good reason for the drive because Kenny and Lauren were getting married here! Driving across Georgia takes a long time and we got stuck in a TON of traffic in, you guessed it, Atlanta. I needed to be here at 7:45 pm so that I could eat dinner with the collected friends and family of the bride and groom, and we made it just in time for me to shower, change and get skanky before I had to be there. Steve drove me to The Lady & Sons, because I was too afraid to drive myself at this point, and I ended up being a little bit late and they didn't go in until I got there. I felt so bad! I got to meet a lot of people I've only heard stories about, so that was a lot of fun. The food and the company were both great, but I was beat. I don't know if it was my new allergy medicine or just the toll of the day, but I was a zombie by the time I was done with dinner. Thinking about it now, I'm kind of afraid I came across as rude or something, but I hope I didn't offend anyone, I was mainly just tired. Before I left, though, I caught Kenny for a second and got a chance to carry on the "Best Man" joke that is a tradition in our family. Since Kenny isn't having a Best Man, I got to be the one to offer him the keys to the car for the last minute dash. Of course, he didn't take me up on the offer! Good man! :) I declined joining everyone else at Savannah Smiles, a piano bar close by, and called Steve to come and pick me up. After that we came back and I changed into my jammies, and now I'm writing this post. The wedding is tomorrow, and Steve has all kinds of things planned for us to do while we are here. We've decided to stick around for a few days and make a vacation out of it, so there should be lots more stuff to come!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I dreamed a terrible joke last night:

Q) What did Admiral Akbar say to the gastroenterologist?


I'm sorry, but I had to share that. I can't believe my subconscious wastes its time thinking those things up. It sounds like something my high school Agriculture teacher would have come up with.*

*He was notorious for the bad jokes.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


1) I am completely incapable of applying self tanner! Since I'm going to go to a destination wedding this weekend, and it's going to be as hot as hell in Savannah, I didn't want to have to wear hose with my dress. My main reason for even wearing the God forsaken things is that my legs are so very, very pale and I will not risk skin cancer by going to a tanning bed! A lady at my church told me about a fake tan spray that is supposed to work really well, so I bought a bottle of it. I thought I was following the directions, but apparently I missed a step, because my legs look like I waded through a vat of Cheetos! It's quite unattractive. However, I am going to suck it up and show off my orange-streaky legs with pride! I just hope I don't clash too badly with the flowers at the wedding! :)

2) If I were a stay-at-home wifey, I'd get bored of it very quickly. I like the sleeping late and being able to do my housework in a leisurely manner, but I need regular interaction with other grown up people.

3) Laundry sucks. It sucks a lot. I may get a small sense of accomplishment when I finish folding a basket of clothes, but it's quickly displaced by the knowledge that everything is just going to get dirty again! It's a never ending cycle! Also, I've realized we don't have enough room to store all of our clothes, especially when all of them are clean at the same time.

4) I make awesome brownies!

5) Even when I don't have to go anywhere afterwords, I won't go to the gym like I will on days when I have to go to work after. Apparently I am just not waking up on time to go first thing, and the longer I'm awake, the less likely I am to go. I'm not happy with that at all, so I'm going to have to work on it! Boo!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I work with a guy that scares me a little.

Don't get me wrong, he is a really nice guy, but he has this quality about him that makes me nervous. Before I actually got a chance to meet him, I just saw him around and thought that he was kind of sinister. He's a really tall man who walks hunched over a little, and he has the smile of a super villain/serial killer. I nicknamed him (as I do almost everyone who's name I don't know) Flesh Coat, because he kind of made me think of the bad guy in Silence of the Lambs. I could actually imagine him throwing someone in a pit and telling them to "rub the lotion on the skin." I know that's bad, because we aren't supposed to judge someone by their appearance, but I was powerless to stop it. I actually got a chance to meet him later on and while he still looks kind of scary, at least I'm fairly sure he isn't a serial killer. He is an unusual guy though. He is one of those people who complains a lot about the younger women who talk to him or like him, but you know he's secretly thrilled that they pay attention to him. He also talks a lot about the things he's good at, as if they are kind of burdensome, but you can tell he just wants to let you know what he can do. I've also been told by other men that he works with that he's a complete pervert , but I've never heard him say anything like that. Of course, that may be because I'm WAY too old for him. Not that he's a pedo or anything, but I think I'm about 10 - 12 years too old for his tastes (BTW, he's 6 years older than I, so that makes it creepy).

Anyways, yesterday Steve had to stay at work later than usual, so I got to spend an hour with that guy. A whole hour. We talked, or rather HE talked, a lot. I never really know how to talk to this guy because sometimes he doesn't realize when I'm being silly or sarcastic, so I just spent that hour listening to him, not knowing how to respond/react to him, and praying that Steve would hurry up and get there. At one point he did something strange, and while Flesh Coat's back was turned I leaned over and whispered to the girl sitting next to me that I thought the guy was really weird. I think he heard me. :( I may think he's weird, and he may make me feel uncomfortable, but I certainly didn't want to hurt his feelings! I felt bad. I also realized, too late as it turned out, that while I was talking to him, I had leaned over to look out of the window and the neck of my shirt got pulled down. Way down. Like, super way down. I accidentally flashed Flesh Coat. I'm scared he's going to think I did it on purpose, or worse, tell people I did that on purpose.


Monday, June 08, 2009


1) I stayed with my brother Friday night while my mom and her husband went out of town for their anniversary. Things went well! I didn't burn anything down or have to call 911 at any time, so I'd say it was a success! :) Since it's a brand new house, and I have only been there a couple of times anyways, I wasn't familiar with anything or know where anything was. I felt like a burglar most of the time because I had to go through drawers and closets to find things. I like to snoop as much as the next person, but when it's not actually snooping, I feel guilty! I found almost everything I needed, though. Poor Tommy, I don't think he trusts me very much. Any time I would try and do something for him, he'd get this look in his eyes like "Oh, Lord, she's touching me again!" Granted, by the time Angie came to stay with him on Saturday, he was probably sick of me. I can't lift him by myself, so getting him in and out of his wheelchair, or into bed was a chore. I managed it, just barely, but if he could talk, he would probably have cussed me a few times! :) In the process of attempting to lift him, I managed to pull several of the muscles in my back and legs, so that was fun. I've been walking around like Quasimodo since I got back! However, he is still alive, so I didn't do too badly, I don't think!

2) I was so sore Sunday morning, that when I got to church, I needed to take something to help with the pulled muscles. All I had in my purse was Excedrin, so I took that and hoped I'd feel better. I had forgotten that because of the caffeine, Excedrin makes me really shaky, and that was bad because I was supposed to sing the special music during the morning service! Ack! I already get really nervous when I sing, and I get doubly nervous when I sing in morning services because I know the choir is sitting behind me and can see me get shaky. It was really bad this time, though, because of the Excedrin, and no matter how much I tried not to shake, it just kept getting worse! At one point, I grabbed on to the pulpit to keep my hand still, and that helped a little, but I looked over at the pulpit microphone and saw it was bouncing up and down. I almost laughed, and I had to let it go. Luckily, though, my voice didn't shake and I hit all of my notes, and people seemed to enjoy the song...so there's that! I love singing, I just wish I didn't get so nervous!

3) I helped to host a baby shower yesterday afternoon, and it turned out really well! The girl having the baby is in my Sunday school class, and she is just the cutest thing. She's a tiny person, and now she has this big belly. She's having a little girl, and so everything was pink and frilly. My main contribution was carving a watermelon into a baby carriage and filling it with fruit. It was a lot of fun to do, and it turned out really well! I wish I had taken a picture of it before anyone had eaten out of it, but I didn't get a chance. Everyone thought it was cute. :) I'm glad I can do stuff like that for people! I did have one problem with it, though, and that is I HATE melons of every kind. I like carving them, and I enjoy making melon balls (it's fun), but I cannot stand the way they smell or taste. By the time I was done with this particular carriage, I had watermelon juice and seeds and rinds all over my kitchen and all over me. Fun stuff. I like to make those, but I hope I never have to eat any of them.

4) Josh is home for a couple of weeks! He came to church with us last night wearing his white robes, but no one seemed phased except for the little kids. He's still driving his mom's BMW two-seater convertible, which I think is hilarous. Vow of poverty, indeed! :) He's lost a lot of weight, but he looks good! He's also started wearing glasses and let his hair grow out a bit, so he's starting to look a little like David Tennant. We all know how I feel about DT, so I try not to think about that when Josh is around. I will NOT let him ruin my crush on The Doctor! I won't! Hopefully we'll get to hang out a bit while he's in town. I miss Josh! :(

5) I have been listening to the audio novel of Jaws lately, and coincidentally it was also on TV this weekend. I hadn't seen it in a long time, so I decided to watch it again. The book is good, but Jaws is one of the instances where I believe the movie is actually better. There is a subplot in the book that kind of pulls down the tempo of the story. Anyways, I had forgotten how much that movie terrifys me! I know it isn't real, I know the shark looks fake, but my feet itch and my legs feel all weird and I can't breathe when I watch that movie! Sharks are really, really scary! Getting eaten by one would be decidely unplesant!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009


I'm currently upset at the ultra-fabulous Le Creuset company and their fine, enamel coated cast iron pans.

About two years ago, I got a Le Creuset skillet for a birthday gift. I had a crush on that brand for a long time, and had hoped that eventually I'd be able to buy a whole set of these kinds of pans because they are supposed to be practically indestructible and last forever. Of course, I quickly realized that buying a whole set of enamel-coated cast iron pans was going to cost WAY too much and take way too long to save up for, so the fact that I had just one made me love it all the more. I've used it constantly, and I'm fairly certain that I never mistreated it in any way, but a month or two ago, I noticed that the inside of the pan had some chips of enamel gone. I was unhappy about this, and had planned to send the pan back to be replaced, but knowing how way leads on to way, I never did it. It wasn't causing me any problems and I was still able to use my pan, so I forgot about doing anything.

Monday night, I was in the process of making dinner. The pan had been heating for a few minutes while I got the porkchops ready, and when I put the first one in, it immediately started popping. That's not too weird, because food will do that when it gets hot, but then it started popping out at me and it hurt. I thought that maybe the olive oil was splattering out on me, but I didn't have that much in the pan to begin with AND the temperature wasn't up that high. So I spent the next little bit trying to keep my porkchops from burning. Normally I'm pretty good at this, but for some reason, things weren't going so hot for me at the time. Anyways, when the food was ready, I noticed that the porkchops were black around the edges. It wasn't bad, but it was enough for me to notice. I was hungry, so I didn't get picky about anything, I just dug in. At first I didn't notice anything, but soon I realized that there was something gritty in my food. At first I thought it was a seed from some blueberries I had eaten earlier that might have been stuck in my teeth, or some kind of spice in the rice I'd added as a side dish, but it got worse. I had eaten almost a whole porkchop before I realized that it was not just gritty, but it felt like I was chewing on sand. I went back into the kitchen and looked in my pan, and realized that the black stuff that had been on my food wasn't because it had been burnt, I had been eating bits of the black enamel coating that had popped off of my pan and stuck to my food. Not only that, but I realized that when the pan was popping at me earlier, it was bits of the coating that were hitting me! No wonder it hurt! I ended up having to throw away all of the food I had fixed, because even the rice had gotten the black stuff in it somehow.

Indestructible my ass.

Now I'm worried about how much of it I actually ate. It probably wasn't much honestly, but all I can think of is that I've got bits of sharp stuff floating around in my body! I hope nothing gets punctured! :( I'm going to have to go through a rigamarole trying to get the pan replaced now. I thought it was just as easy as sending it back, but apparently not. You have to call them and get their permission to send it back, and THEN they decide if you will be able to get a replacement. Normally I woldn't worry about it, but it was way too expensive to just toss away. It's also been a really good pan up until it tried to kill me.

I guess we'll just see what happens.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Dear This Summer,

Please be better in every conceivable way from last summer.

Love, Kelly

Monday, June 01, 2009

For your Monday enjoyment, I give you the best Yip-Yip video ever made! Well, it's my favorite, at least. :)