Tuesday, July 26, 2011


1) I'm currently sitting at my desk trying very hard to put off going to the gym.  I don't enjoy going to the gym, as I'm sure I've said here before, but today the angel on my right shoulder has triumphed over the devil on my left.  Now I'm dressed in all of my gloriously geeky gym clothes and my Dumbledore's Army hat (Shut up. My hair is too short to pin back.) and I'm trying to make myself actually GO.  I'm actually just in the middle of my Before-I-Go-To-The-Gym routine.  I have to brush my teeth and hair, take all of my various medicines and vitamins, and then sit down to drink a bottle of water and think about important things like: why I should be going to the gym, why I don't want to go at all, why I want to eat all of the coffee cakes...stuff like that.  Sigh.  OK, I finished my water and it's time for me to go before I change my mind.  Boo.

2) I'm back.  Gleh.

3) Not long ago, we had to replace the old laser printer because it was eating documents and causing general mayhem.  The new one scares me!  It occasionally gets these weird electronic hiccups, usually when I'm home alone and not expecting them!  It will also suddenly turn on with no warning and cycle up like it's going to print something, but nothing comes out.  Of course, one day I expect a piece of paper to come out with something like "I'm Watching You" printed on it, but when that happens, I'm going to get a young priest, an old priest and a rifle and put it out of it's misery.

4) Today I tried my hand at making homemade tapioca pudding.  It sounded easy enough, and I had all of the ingredients on hand, which is rare.  Unfortunately, what the recipe said would happen didn't happen, and so I kept adding tapioca pearls into it thinking that it would even out.  It didn't.  Also, I spilled a very large amount of salt into it, but I'm going to eat it anyways because if I'm going to stand and stir it for an hour, I refuse to throw it away until I at least attempt eating it.  I tried adding chocolate and vanilla bean to it as well, which kind of helped.  It still doesn't look like the recipe says it would, but I think I know what I did wrong.  I mean, other than the large amount of salt thing.  I'll try again when I get more milk. 

5) If you have a spare prayer, do you mind saying it for Grandma?  As some of you know, she had a stroke a month or two ago and up until the other day, she had been doing much better.  Unfortunately, she had a couple of seizures and is back in the hospital.  Although Mr. Lee said she sounds OK, he also said she isn't making sense.  She seems to think she's going to be going home, and possibly traveling out here soon.  We aren't sure if she's just being optimistic, or if she really has no idea what's going on.  I'm sure she'd appreciate the prayers.  :)

6) You know, I just don't understand people sometimes.  A few weeks ago, I got an email survey from a website where I am a member.  The website happens to be for a jewelry company that I admire, although I'd be hard pressed to actually afford much of what they sell, and the email said the first 75,000 (I think) people to fill out and return the survey would get a free bracelet.  Normally I wouldn't bother filling it out because I know that mailing lists for these companies are huge, but I figured I'd at least try.  I filled it out, but when I submitted it, I got a message saying that they'd already run out of promotional items, but thanks for my input.  I wasn't too bothered about it, since I knew it would be a long shot anyway, and I didn't mind filling out the survey.  After a couple of hours, I completely forgot about it.  Fast forward a few weeks and I got a package in the mail which happened to be one of the bracelets!  I was very surprised and pleased, because it wasn't a cheap knockoff, it was actually one of the bracelets that the company sold!  Granted, it wasn't one of the expensive ones, but it was genuine, and actually not the cheapest item they have.  Now, having worked in marketing (albeit, marginally) I know how these things usually work. They were probably going to discontinue the product because they weren't selling and they had a huge surplus to get rid of (EDIT: which turned out to be the case after I checked the product line) or they just really needed the info and were willing to lose the money.  Also, I'm fairly certain the company marks up the stuff substantially, so they probably weren't losing as much as I think.  At any rate, I was glad to have the bracelet. It was nice, I wasn't expecting it and I didn't have to pay for it!

A couple of days later, I got an email from the same company saying they had a Facebook page, so I went to it to see what there was to see.  I began reading the page updates, and noticed that a lot of other people had gotten the free bracelets, too.  Neato, right?  Most of the posts were nice and the people were saying their thanks, but I noticed a few who were kind of nasty.  There were a lot of whiny people saying things like "I wish I could have gotten a chance to take that survey. I guess you don't want to keep all of your customers happy." and "I just spent $1,200 in your store and I didn't get anything for free, I don't think that's fair!"  And there were those who said things like "Don't worry about not getting the bracelet, it was cheap and ugly."  Then there were a lot, and I mean a lot, of people who said things like "I finished the survey, but still haven't got my bracelet! :( Maybe I'm not getting it after all."  Hmm.

Look, I like free stuff as much as anyone, but I've never felt "entitled" to them like a lot of these people seem to.  I've actually noticed that kind of thing on a lot of websites and Facebook pages.  People get their panties all in a bunch about missing out on free offers, or wondering where their free items are.  I've seen people get hateful over something as stupid as drink powder samples.  Seriously, these are the same people who made me hate working customer service jobs.  If they are going to riot over free things that weren't even promised to them, I'd hate to think about how they are about things they actually pay for.  Obviously, these people have a serious case of "First World Problems."  Sheesh.

Monday, July 18, 2011


Steve and I got to go see Deathly Hallows Part 2 last night! 

It was an awesome end to the series, even if some of the scenes were out of order and sort of smushed together.  It had to be done that way, though, or the movie would have been 10 hours long.

Before going, I was reading about it online, and the writer said something about making sure you took along your hanky.  I was all  *snort* "He cried?  Good Lord.  It's Harry Potter for Pete's sake!  It isn't like he didn't know what was going to happen." */snort*

Of course, (Spoilers if you've never read the book.  Why haven't you read the book?) By the time the scene with Snape and Lily was even halfway over, pretty much onward into the whole Forbidden Forest scene, I was a snotty, teary mess.  I totally spotted up my 3D glasses and almost missed THE pivotal scene in the movie because I was madly trying to clean them off.  Oh, Alan Rickman... you creepy, beautiful bastard.

Before we left for the theater, I jokingly posted a question on Facebook asking if I should wear my cloak, or just take my wand.  It didn't dawn on my until I was at the theater that most of my Facebook friends probably thought I was serious.  Please, I'd never take a wand to a movie!

As for the cloak, it's made of velvet and much to hot for summer wear.  :)

Great Movie.  

Sunday, July 17, 2011


1) Hola, y'all!  I'm writing today from the den in my mother's house.  My sister and I spent the weekend staying with my brother while mom and her husband went on a romantical vacation to Atlanta to watch baseball.  Yeah...baseball.  To each their own, I suppose. :)  Angie stayed Friday night and I stayed on Saturday, and so far, Tommy is still alive.  Yay!  Steve had to come and help me lift him into bed last night, because I have little to no upper body strength, and Tommy is a big dude.  I mean, I could still take him in a fight if I had to...but only if I got in a few punches before he pulled me down and hugged conscious thought out of me.  Heh.  I've learned over the years to avoid the "hug o' death" but sometimes he can get me when I'm not looking.  :)

I hope he's not traumatized after spending the weekend with us.  I think we make more noise than he's used to, because he seems really jumpy when we're around.  He's probably still suffering from PTSD from when we were kids.  Angie and I showed him no mercy as children, and I think he has 'Nam-like flashbacks.  Oops.

The thing I worry about when I'm here is that I'm going to hurt him somehow.  I know little to nothing about taking care of him, and what I do know how to do, I'm awfully clumsy. The last thing I'd want is to do him any harm, but since he can't say anything, I never know if what I'm doing is right.  I'm sure he's just used to my mom, who is truly a superwoman for taking such good care of him all the time.  If I can learn to be half as good as her at taking care of him, I'll be lucky.  She's awesome!  Don't tell her I said so, though, or she'll get cocky.  Heehee! Hopefully, he won't get too mangled before she gets back.

2) Speaking of staying at mom's house: It's spooky!  I know most of it is because I'm not used to being here at night, but there are so many weird sounds I'm not used to.  Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, everything was quiet.  Suddenly, I heard a sharp hissing noise!  I almost swallowed my tongue.  I had no idea where a suitable weapon could be located, and I didn't know if the ceiling fan could hold my weight, if - in fact- I had to jump up and cling to it Scooby-Doo-Style to get away from what could only have been a large, angry snake, or a Comodo dragon that mom and Grant keep stashed under the bed and had forgotten to tell me about.  I came within an ace of fleeing into the street before I realized it was the infernal automatic air fresheners that she has in almost every room.  Apparently, they are motion triggered, and when I flipped on the light, the sensor went off.  I hate those things. Worse, they blend in with the decor, so I had to look for them, and even when I found them, I couldn't figure out how to turn them off.  Stupid, hissing air fresheners.  Also, I've been listening to a true crime audio novel about the Zodiac killer, and that might have been a teensy part of why I was so jumpy. My mom will never know how close she came to getting a Kelly-shaped hole in the wall of that bedroom. 

3) I was hoping to see the final Harry Potter movie either tonight, or tomorrow, but apparently the movie is sold out everywhere up here for the next two weeks!  Well, at least that's what Steve told me when I asked.  Boo.  I mean, it isn't as if I don't know how the movie will end and all that, but still.  I'm kind of sad they'll be over.  I mean, yes, technically I'm a bit old for Harry Potter, but I loved the books and enjoy the movies.  It's one of the few traditions I have, so hopefully I'll get to see it soon.   ---Ooooooh, coincidence.  Right as I finished typing that, the phone rang and it was Steve saying he'd managed to get us tickets for tonight!  Woot!  Whoever told him it was sold out for two weeks is apparently a liar-face. A LIAR FACE!

4) OK, it's been a week, and now that I'm not trying to be subtle about it, that wedding last weekend was stupid hot.  Hot to the point that I had to wear black, because I knew I'd sweat through any other color.  Pardon me if I don't want to stand up amongst friends and strangers with giant pit rings on my dress.  Also, wearing black and standing in the sun only exacerbates the problem. It was so hot I got sick to my stomach.  Literally, I was sitting there and suddenly had the feeling that I was going to barf. I had sweat rolling down my face and back, and it was gross.  Have you ever had beads of sweat rolling down your back while wearing a semi-formal gown?  It feels like bugs.  Have you ever had sweat rolling down your face that you couldn't wipe away because you were singing?  It gets in your eyes and stings, it drips off of your face, and when the wedding photographer takes your picture, you look as if you've been running a marathon.  If you run your hands through your hair in a situation like that, you realize that only the top layer of your hair is dry and them you walk around with clumpy, sweaty hair swinging in your face. Not pretty.

Seriously, people...why does anyone want to get married outdoors in the armpit of a Southern summer?  Do they grow up thinking "It is going to be the happiest day of my life! I want everyone I love to burn! BUUUUURN!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"  Too much?

Look, I'm the very last person who'd ever want someone to get talked out of having the kind of wedding they'd like to have.  If I'm asked to come to, or be in, or sing at a wedding on the ice floes of Antarctica wearing a strapless mini dress and a flamingo on my head, I'll do it if that is what the bride and groom want.  Weddings are very personal and important, and everyone has a different idea of what makes them perfect.  If that means someone has always wanted to get married outside, then so be it. One day, though, I'm going to write an open letter to any future brides from the Southeast who are thinking about gettined married outdoors during the summer.  It'll mostly be a plea for mercy on behalf of everyone they know.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I sang at another wedding this weekend!

Thrilling, no?  What?  You want me to tell you all about it?  Well, if you insist...  :)

The rehearsal was held on Friday evening.  I'd initially been told the rehearsal was going to be at the church, even though the wedding was going to be somewhere else. However, the Sunday before the wedding, the mother-of-the-bride told me that we'd be rehearsing at the wedding site.  Ok, then!  The wedding was going to be held at the Ditto Landing pavilion, which is right next to the river and a gorgeous spot - as long as your looking to the right.  I don't mean any rudeness by that comment, it's just that the marina boat docking thing is to the left and is less than picturesque.


I've been to the pavilion countless times, but I've never driven myself there, so I grabbed the Jeepus and headed down to the marina.  Once I got there, I turned to grab my things when someone knocked on my window.  Christy, a.k.a. Christy-Face, was standing outside of my car! Fun!  I hadn't seen her in many moons!  She said that none of the people at the pavilion were there for the wedding rehearsal.  There was a birthday party going on...oops.  We weren't sure what to do!  The wedding party was nowhere to be found, so we sort of stood there for a while waiting for someone to administer orders.  Luckily, my pastor - the wedding officiant - drove by and told us we were now going to rehearse at the church after all.  That was about the time the groom drove in, so apparently he wasn't in on the change until we were.  Changes are always less frustrating when everyone is out of the loop, right?  :)

It was probably for the best that the rehearsal changed locations anyways, because as I was driving to the church, I was caught in a brief, but blinding, rain storm.  See, silver linings!  At least we didn't have to stand out in the rain!  So, we got to the church and assembled in the sanctuary.  We sat around for a bit, waiting for everyone to get there.  Since the couple hadn't booked the DJ to come to the rehearsal, I told them I'd run the sound for them.  Unfortunately, they didn't have any music. *GASP!*  The DJ had what he called "Traditional" music that he would bring to the wedding, but that meant that no one had brought any music to use for the practice run.  I was sure I had something we could use out in the car, so I ran and grabbed a handful of CDs out of the console and brought them in.  I popped them into the computer to look for appropriate wedding music...and encountered a problem.

OK, see, most of the CDs in my car are ones I've burned myself.  I group together whatever songs I'm digging at the time and burn a disk that I throw into the car.  I don't label them, because I don't care.  I might put a date on them or something, but that's it. I'll listen to the disk until I get tired of it and then make a new one.  Being organized isn't necessary.  Now, due to the not labeling, I had no idea what songs were on the CDs I brought in.  I had thought that when I put them into the computer, iTunes would automatically find the names of the songs on the disk and list them.  Unfortunately that wasn't the case, and disk after disk, all I saw was "Track 1, Track 2 & etc."  Poop.  Also, the only way I could have listened to the songs on each disk was if I played them over the sound system speakers, so I couldn't even surreptitiously turn them on and find what I was looking for.  You're probably still wondering why this was a problem, right?  Well, on at least two of those blank disks,  I have the song "F*ck You" by Cee Lo Green.  It isn't the radio version, nor is it censored in any way.  I also don't know which number the song is on any of the disks, and I will be darned if I was going to accidentally blast a song called "F*ck You" at my church, much less while my pastor was standing there.  So, I did the only thing I could do.  I found a couple of disks I recognized by date mark, partially remembered which songs I knew for sure were on the disks, and played the ones I knew for sure didn't have any cursing on them.  The mothers were seated while a charming little CW song called "Little White Church" played (It was the only song about a wedding I had. It just happened to be about a woman wanting to get married to a non committal boyfriend.)  Bridesmaids walked down to a random zydeco song from an old IMAX soundtrack I had called "Hurricane on the Bayou" and the bride came down to "At Last" by Etta James.  The recessional was "You Never Even Call Me By My Name" by David Allen Coe, which I faded out before it got to the part about the damned old train.  Luckily the wedding party had a sense of humor, and thought it was funny.  Whew.  I think I should arrange wedding music for a living, don't you?  :)

The wedding was the next day, of course.  It was in a lovely hot, even with the marina thing next to it.  The chairs were all arranged down by the water with blue hot on each one.  There was a big arch decorated with hot, and the background was the river.  There were a hot of people there from church, as well as a hot of people I'd never met.  There weren't enough chairs for everyone, so a hot of people had to stand. I was glad so many hot were there, for the bride's sake.  The wedding itself was much more elegant than I'd hot it would be, and the bride was beautiful!  It was very simple, but nice.  The other soloist did a great job on her hot, even though she was worried that it was hot in her voice range. Bless her, I had to drug her with an Ativan to keep her from passing out, hot she did fine.  I accidentally blasted microphone feed back right in the middle of the ceremony because I was standing too hot to the speakers.  Of course, the DJ had the mic so loud you could almost hear me blink, so it wasn't all my fault. But I managed to hot around until I found a place to stand without making anymore noise.  Everyone said my song was great, hot I never think I do that well.  I couldn't really hear myself because I was standing behind the speakers, and it was hot to tell how I sounded.  Hopefully I did hot mess up much.  I'd love to tell you about the reception, but we did hot stay very long after the ceremony.  Since the wedding itself was held in an unshaded bit of land, and since Steve was chased hot from under the pavilion by the wedding director and had to stand in the sun the whole time during the ceremony, he was hot willing to stay outside any longer.  So we left.  Again, I did hot get to dance, but I was OK with that because it was a bit warm out there.


Good times.

Thursday, July 07, 2011


1) We finally got new tires for Lois!  I can't believe how much of a difference it has made in the ride!  I honestly thought the car was falling apart not long ago, because it would shake so badly whenever I drove it, and when my car shakes, the convertible top rattles and the whole thing sounds like it's mere inches away from utter molecular dissolution!  After the new tires were put on, we drove away from Sam's, and it was like a completely different vehicle.  Now I don't feel as much like a dried pea rattling around in an empty tin can when I drive it anymore!  Yay!  If we could just get that leak over the window fixed, it would all be gravy. :)

2) Josh called me today from the Pacific Ocean.  Literally, he was standing in the ocean when he called.  I could hear it!  He's in San Deigo for Jeoff's dad's wedding, and so he has access to the ocean and felt the need to call me and rub it in.  That is what he said, exactly.  FYI, Josh is dead to me now.

3) I went back and read some of my blog entries from several years ago, and I think I was funnier back then.  Do you ever read stuff you wrote in the past and think:  Huh...that doesn't even sound like me!  I always feel like that when I find things I'd written in school, or old journals or whatever.  Of course, I'm a totally different person than I used to be.  A lot of the joy has gone out of life for me because of stuff that's happened over the past three or four years.  I guess that's dumb, since I'm clearly luckier than most people, but still.  Oh well.  Hopefully I'll get that back one day, though.  I hope so. 

4) You'll never believe what I found in Madison! Bubble tea!  I know, it's probably common wherever you live, but it isn't up here.  I'd seriously been craving it since I got back from Colorado, and so I posed the question to the world at large, i.e. my Facebook friends, to see if anywhere in North Alabama sold it.  Only one person answered me, and told me a smoothie place in Madison had it.  I hauled my cookies all the way across town for the stuff, and luckily, I found it.  I can't really explain why I like it as much as I do.  I mean, it really is kind of like sucking frog eggs through a straw, but I'm hooked.  It stinks that I'll have to burn so much gas to get it when the craving hits, but as long as I can control myself and only get it when the craving is really bad, it should be OK.

5) I'm attempting to make a pot roast that doesn't suck.  Steve's grandma and my mom make delicious pot roast, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to get the hang of it!  Both of them have told me what to do, but it dances just out of my grasp!  Gah!  It's infuriating, because it is such an easy thing to make (allegedly) but I always get it wrong.  It always smells good, but unless I'm trying to make a pot roast air freshener, the smell isn't helping much.  I'll let you know how it works out!

6) I melted my salt shaker!  I forgot that my stove has a vent that helps regulate the temperature, and it happens to be where I'd put my salt shaker.  Now it's ruined.  I was able to save the salt, though! Silver linings, right? :)  I'd probably feel less embarrassed about it if this wasn't the second shaker to be lost to the same cause.  You'd think I'd remember something like that.  Oy.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

How was your Independence Day?  I hope it was lovely! Mine was...uneventful for the most part. I'd made plans, but all the world and time got in the way.  I'm beginning to think I have terrible time management issues! 

One of my Aunts has a house on the river and she was having her annual get together that day.  I was thinking of going there, but with sleeping late, Steve's plans changing twice, and a surprise band concert that Steve swears he told me about (but I don't remember it) I ended up staying in Huntsvegas for the day.  I kind of feel bad for not going because I never see my family anymore and I miss them!  Honestly, both sides of my family are very dear to me, but I hardly see them at all anymore.  I really do love them, but I bet they don't think so!  Heehee.  It's all my fault, of course, but stuff happens! Oh well...hopefully when I DO get to see them again, they'll remember who I am.  :) 

Anyway, as I said, Steve had a Madison Community Band performance at Bridge Street.  You know, that posh shopping area where chubby women can't buy clothes.  There were TONS of people there that day because Bridge Street always holds a fireworks show on the 4th, and everyone comes fairly early to get a good spot, so the band had a lot of people listening to them.  They did a really good job, and if I'd put on my brain before leaving the house, I would have remembered to take my camera to get some video of the patriotic music they played.  Everyone watching seemed to enjoy it. 

Since I'd already heard this particular set of songs, I spent a lot of time people watching.  Holy cow...some people just don't care what they wear in public anymore, do they?  I know I shouldn't say anything, because I'm not a fashion plate myself, but when I leave the house, at I at least try to look neat and modest and wear clothes that mostly fit.  Not so with some of the people walking by.  I saw things...terrible things...things that can't be unseen.  Butt cheeks, people!  There is absolutely no reason - NO REASON - for an adult (or child for that matter) to wear shorts so short that their butt cheeks hang out. Seriously.  I don't care how fit you are...it just makes you look cheap and trashy.  Also, ladies, if you have breasts larger than an A cup, please harness them. I don't care how uncomfortable you think bras are, please wear one. Think of the children!  There was one poor teenage girl I saw who apparently dressed in the dark.  She was decently covered at least, but nothing she had on made sense.  I couldn't get my brain wrapped around her outfit at all.  When I picture her in my head, she's wearing Daisy Duke shorts over a a speed-skater's leotard, with hiking boots on her feet and a big floppy shirt of some kind.  I think she was aiming for a hipster-thing outfit, but she missed.  By. A. Mile.  After that particular fashion victim, everything else seemed tame.

The concert ended with the Star Spangled Banner, of course, and I was kind of surprised that more people didn't stop while it was being played.  A lot of people did, but there were still a lot of people moving around, too.  Oh, and question for you guys:  Are you supposed to put your hand over your heart during the national anthem, or only during the Pledge of Allegiance?  I always put my hand over my heart during the song, unless I'm singing it, but I've heard that isn't necessary.  I'm honestly curious...does anyone know the proper etiquette?

After the concert, we went home.  Neither one of us wanted to have to deal with the crowds after the fireworks, so we skipped it.  I was kind of sad, because I love watching fireworks usually, but I wasn't feeling it this year.  Besides, I saw a whole week's worth in January while we were in Disney World.  Funzies. 

Once we were home, we put the dogs to bed while the bigger firework shows were going on, and we broke out the grill and cooked a couple of steaks.  Well, I say they were steaks, but they were embarrassingly big.  More like small roasts, in my opinion.  I was there when Steve bought them, but I didn't realize how huge they were until I had them in front of me.  Oy.  While they were on the grill, Steve and I shot a pack of bottle rockets he'd found in the garage.  They have to be super old, but they still lit.  After they stopped launching upwards and started chasing me around the yard, we stopped lighting them.  Also, we had a bad moment when we thought we'd set the roof on fire.  At any rate, I got a few fireworks after all!  :) 

The slabs of cow finally finished cooking and we had dinner.  I was starving by that point, because we hadn't eaten much during the day, but I think that steak almost killed me.  I didn't mean to eat the whole thing.  Hell, I didn't think I COULD eat the whole thing, but it tasted so good and I didn't stop till it was gone.  I was so full I couldn't move, so we sat around and digested until it was time for bed.  It was certainly not the healthiest way to end a day...but it was a delicious one.  :)

Good times.