This will be quick, but I feel it needs to be said.
If you are going to wear a pair of pantyhose or tights that are even just a teeny-tiny bit too short for you, DO NOT wear slippery, silky underpants. It will not end well.
I feel that this is all that needs to be said on the matter.
Good day.
Monday, February 06, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
A QUICKY
Would you like to know something I hate?
What am I saying? Of course you do! That's why your here! :)
But really, I don't like this saying:
What am I saying? Of course you do! That's why your here! :)
But really, I don't like this saying:
Pure, unadulterated evil.
I know that this is supposed to be sweet. I get that. I know that it's supposed to show someone how much you love them and that living without them would be unbearable. Intellectually I know that.
However, this is how I interpret it: Someone who loves you wants to die the day before you do so that they never know the pain of living without you. However, they don't give a damn that you will spend an agonizing 24 hours of soul numbing pain and heart rending agony because the person you love is dead.
Selfish bastard bear.
; )
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
MORE RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) I managed to screw up part of our Sunday morning music services. :( I feel really bad about it too. The minister of music had asked one of his daughters to sing a solo, and the music she was going to sing was on a cassette tape. I know what you're thinking...a cassette tape? Wha? Yeah..well, if you are familiar with music accompaniment, you will know that cassette tapes were the norm for a very long time. Even after CDs became the preferred way to listen to music, for some reason, accompaniment music was still on tapes. Of course, you also have the fact that a lot of gospel songs don't go out of fashion, so if you find a version of a song you like, you tend to hang on to it. It makes sense to upgrade your music to CDs or even MP3s now, but that can get pretty expensive. Not to mention that sometimes the particular version of the song you like may not have ever been pressed (or whatever) to a CD.
OK, I told you all of that for you to understand why this woman was singing with a cassette tape.
Anyway...apparently, I have forgotten how to use a tape player. Well, at least the kind that have more than 4 buttons. Sometimes the choir will sing from a tape, and that's where my ineptness has shown itself. I always rewind too far, or not far enough, I accidentally hit that button that flips the tape to the other side, or I forget which direction the tape is turning and the whole thing goes backwards. It's a nightmare and it makes me feel like an idiot.
So while she was practicing, I had to leave the sound system in other capable hands so that I could go to class. When I came back down for the service, I refused to touch the cassette player so as not to screw anything up. When it came time for her to sing, I pressed the play button and the song started playing somewhere in the middle. I didn't know what happened. I also didn't know the song, so I didn't know which way I was supposed to move it. I rewound, and played it...but nope, still not in the right place. I did that several times trying to find the right song, but it never worked. All this time the poor woman is standing on stage looking embarrassed and I'm in the back of the church trying desperately to figure out what was going on. The music minister finally told her to sit down and we went on with the service, but I felt so bad! I don't know what happened! I guess I could have bumped one of the buttons without realizing it, but I don't know how I could have done that without hearing it. I don't know. I do know, however, that every single part of my body was cringing. I just felt so terrible. Ugh.
2) I got my hair cut last Friday and no one noticed. Well, Steve pretended to notice, but it was because I told him I was getting my hair cut and I'm pretty sure he was trying to be nice. However, later he told me it looked exactly the same. This wouldn't irritate me normally but it doesn't look the same. It very much doesn't look the same at all! I'm trying to let my hair grow out, but since the back was so much shorter than the front, I decided to go ahead and cut the front so that the front would be the same length as the back. Then I got it layered. I kept the bangs, but even they weren't cut the same. It's a totally different hair style. Gah!
Other than that, my other problem is that I have no idea how to fix it. I wake up in the mornings looking like Russell Brand, and if I'm not careful, when I blow dry my hair, it sticks out in many directions. I'm just going to leave it alone until it decides to cooperate. It's best not to anger my hair. It's very sensitive.
3) The internet is full of weirdos, isn't it? The other night I had a terrible case of hiccups, and I mean terrible in a way few people can understand. I've never had little, dainty, cute hiccups. When I get a serious case of hiccups, I sound like an angry pterodactyl. I can't control them, and they are loud. True story, my dogs think something is wrong with me and they try to climb into my lap and look into my mouth to see what is going on when this happens.
While my diaphragm shredding hiccups were going on, and since I had the iPad next to me, I tweeted that "I have a bad case of hiccoughs. They sound like the mating call of an exotic, unpleasant bird."
A bit later, I saw that I had gotten some mentions on Twitter from a person I didn't recognize. The person asked how long I had had the hiccups. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered answering, but I figured that maybe this person would have some kind of trick to get rid of them that I could use the next time it happened. Seriously, I HATE getting the hiccups and was willing to try anything.
Well, this guy didn't have any tricks for getting rid of them. In fact, due to a stream of other messages that came to me in quick succession, I realized that this particular person...um...enjoyed the thought of women having hiccups. A lot. What?! Gross. That was a new one on me. Not that I have a working encyclopedic knowledge of kinks or anything, but what the hell? That's just weird. Needless to say, I didn't respond to him anymore. Icky, ya'll.
4) I just realized that I typed that word so many times just then that it doesn't look like a real word anymore. Hiccups.
OK, I told you all of that for you to understand why this woman was singing with a cassette tape.
Anyway...apparently, I have forgotten how to use a tape player. Well, at least the kind that have more than 4 buttons. Sometimes the choir will sing from a tape, and that's where my ineptness has shown itself. I always rewind too far, or not far enough, I accidentally hit that button that flips the tape to the other side, or I forget which direction the tape is turning and the whole thing goes backwards. It's a nightmare and it makes me feel like an idiot.
So while she was practicing, I had to leave the sound system in other capable hands so that I could go to class. When I came back down for the service, I refused to touch the cassette player so as not to screw anything up. When it came time for her to sing, I pressed the play button and the song started playing somewhere in the middle. I didn't know what happened. I also didn't know the song, so I didn't know which way I was supposed to move it. I rewound, and played it...but nope, still not in the right place. I did that several times trying to find the right song, but it never worked. All this time the poor woman is standing on stage looking embarrassed and I'm in the back of the church trying desperately to figure out what was going on. The music minister finally told her to sit down and we went on with the service, but I felt so bad! I don't know what happened! I guess I could have bumped one of the buttons without realizing it, but I don't know how I could have done that without hearing it. I don't know. I do know, however, that every single part of my body was cringing. I just felt so terrible. Ugh.
2) I got my hair cut last Friday and no one noticed. Well, Steve pretended to notice, but it was because I told him I was getting my hair cut and I'm pretty sure he was trying to be nice. However, later he told me it looked exactly the same. This wouldn't irritate me normally but it doesn't look the same. It very much doesn't look the same at all! I'm trying to let my hair grow out, but since the back was so much shorter than the front, I decided to go ahead and cut the front so that the front would be the same length as the back. Then I got it layered. I kept the bangs, but even they weren't cut the same. It's a totally different hair style. Gah!
Other than that, my other problem is that I have no idea how to fix it. I wake up in the mornings looking like Russell Brand, and if I'm not careful, when I blow dry my hair, it sticks out in many directions. I'm just going to leave it alone until it decides to cooperate. It's best not to anger my hair. It's very sensitive.
3) The internet is full of weirdos, isn't it? The other night I had a terrible case of hiccups, and I mean terrible in a way few people can understand. I've never had little, dainty, cute hiccups. When I get a serious case of hiccups, I sound like an angry pterodactyl. I can't control them, and they are loud. True story, my dogs think something is wrong with me and they try to climb into my lap and look into my mouth to see what is going on when this happens.
While my diaphragm shredding hiccups were going on, and since I had the iPad next to me, I tweeted that "I have a bad case of hiccoughs. They sound like the mating call of an exotic, unpleasant bird."
A bit later, I saw that I had gotten some mentions on Twitter from a person I didn't recognize. The person asked how long I had had the hiccups. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered answering, but I figured that maybe this person would have some kind of trick to get rid of them that I could use the next time it happened. Seriously, I HATE getting the hiccups and was willing to try anything.
Well, this guy didn't have any tricks for getting rid of them. In fact, due to a stream of other messages that came to me in quick succession, I realized that this particular person...um...enjoyed the thought of women having hiccups. A lot. What?! Gross. That was a new one on me. Not that I have a working encyclopedic knowledge of kinks or anything, but what the hell? That's just weird. Needless to say, I didn't respond to him anymore. Icky, ya'll.
4) I just realized that I typed that word so many times just then that it doesn't look like a real word anymore. Hiccups.
Monday, January 23, 2012
RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) Holy cow, it's gorgeous outside today! We had some bad weather overnight, which naturally was heralded by the sound of the tornado siren and the dogs howling, but this morning it's just beautiful out there. Of course, it's 61 degrees in January, which I don't particularly like (cause January is supposed to be cold, dontchaknow) but I guess 61 degrees is better than three feet of snow and no power and dying of hypothermia. I'll just call that the silver lining. :)
2) I found a new printer! Well, maybe. I'm currently getting my first job printed there as we speak. That is probably not anywhere near as exciting to you guys as it is to me, but it's great news! I suppose I should specify that it isn't a desktop printer, but a printing facility where they can do all the fancy stuff, like raised lettering, varnishes, foiling and all that other happy trash! I have a whole new world of design opened to me! Plus, I know a guy with a connection to the place and he thinks we can probably work out a pretty good deal on pricing. Woot! Now, if anyone needs invitations or whatever, we can make 'em fancy!
3) Oh, and speaking of awesome stuff, some of my hats will finally get a home soon. The children from our church are going to visit the nursing home in February, and along with the stuff they are going to make for the residents there, they are also going to be giving them each a hat! The women's group is also taking a few of them to the members of our church that are elderly and home bound! I'm glad! I know they are just hats, but I hope that they can give people a tiny bit of warmth and snuggliness. I'm going to have to go in and weed out a lot of the crazier colored hats and the ones with horns and what-not, though. We don't need anyone's paw-paw looking like a thug.
4) While looking at jobs the other day (yes, I'm still looking, albeit not as rabidly as before) I saw that my former job at the SpRocket (ptooey) was back on the market. It made me a little sad. I really miss that job sometimes. I know it's stupid to even care, I really do, but I just enjoyed being there and I have moments of missing it. I liked my co-workers, I liked what I did, and even when it drove me crazy I could always go out and look at whatever I made and think "I did that, and that is awesome." Oh, well. Water under the bridge and all that, right? I know that they must've already had someone in mind for the job since it didn't stay online for more than a couple of days (legally every job has to be open to anyone who wants to apply, but they generally hire who they opened the job for anyways.) I hope whoever gets the job enjoys it as much as I did and I hope that they are shown more professional courtesy than I was.
I also hope that one day I can drive by the place without giving it the bird. Baby steps...
5) There is a song that our choir sings that I really like called "I'm Ready To Go." I wish I could find a YouTube video of it so you could hear what it sounds like, but I haven't tracked down the right version just yet. Anyways, the song never fails to crack me up. It's not a funny song at all, but to me it sounds as if it were written by Richard or Robert Sherman for some kind of white-bread, gospel, live action, Disney-esque musical like "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" or something. Honestly, I get mad giggles whenever they practice it because I keep picturing everyone in the church jumping up and doing some synchronized dancing. I guess the worst part is that at the end, I can totally see everyone in the choir going down on one knee and a cross being lowered from the ceiling behind them, all while pyrotechnics fire off on each side and shower the congregation with confetti.
I realize this is not what I should be thinking of during church, but there is nothing I can do about it. My imagination is completely out of my control.
6) Personally, if there is going to be any dancing at our church at all, I'd prefer it to be this kind:
I might even be in the choir if they sang songs like that! :)
2) I found a new printer! Well, maybe. I'm currently getting my first job printed there as we speak. That is probably not anywhere near as exciting to you guys as it is to me, but it's great news! I suppose I should specify that it isn't a desktop printer, but a printing facility where they can do all the fancy stuff, like raised lettering, varnishes, foiling and all that other happy trash! I have a whole new world of design opened to me! Plus, I know a guy with a connection to the place and he thinks we can probably work out a pretty good deal on pricing. Woot! Now, if anyone needs invitations or whatever, we can make 'em fancy!
3) Oh, and speaking of awesome stuff, some of my hats will finally get a home soon. The children from our church are going to visit the nursing home in February, and along with the stuff they are going to make for the residents there, they are also going to be giving them each a hat! The women's group is also taking a few of them to the members of our church that are elderly and home bound! I'm glad! I know they are just hats, but I hope that they can give people a tiny bit of warmth and snuggliness. I'm going to have to go in and weed out a lot of the crazier colored hats and the ones with horns and what-not, though. We don't need anyone's paw-paw looking like a thug.
4) While looking at jobs the other day (yes, I'm still looking, albeit not as rabidly as before) I saw that my former job at the SpRocket (ptooey) was back on the market. It made me a little sad. I really miss that job sometimes. I know it's stupid to even care, I really do, but I just enjoyed being there and I have moments of missing it. I liked my co-workers, I liked what I did, and even when it drove me crazy I could always go out and look at whatever I made and think "I did that, and that is awesome." Oh, well. Water under the bridge and all that, right? I know that they must've already had someone in mind for the job since it didn't stay online for more than a couple of days (legally every job has to be open to anyone who wants to apply, but they generally hire who they opened the job for anyways.) I hope whoever gets the job enjoys it as much as I did and I hope that they are shown more professional courtesy than I was.
I also hope that one day I can drive by the place without giving it the bird. Baby steps...
5) There is a song that our choir sings that I really like called "I'm Ready To Go." I wish I could find a YouTube video of it so you could hear what it sounds like, but I haven't tracked down the right version just yet. Anyways, the song never fails to crack me up. It's not a funny song at all, but to me it sounds as if it were written by Richard or Robert Sherman for some kind of white-bread, gospel, live action, Disney-esque musical like "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" or something. Honestly, I get mad giggles whenever they practice it because I keep picturing everyone in the church jumping up and doing some synchronized dancing. I guess the worst part is that at the end, I can totally see everyone in the choir going down on one knee and a cross being lowered from the ceiling behind them, all while pyrotechnics fire off on each side and shower the congregation with confetti.
I realize this is not what I should be thinking of during church, but there is nothing I can do about it. My imagination is completely out of my control.
6) Personally, if there is going to be any dancing at our church at all, I'd prefer it to be this kind:
I might even be in the choir if they sang songs like that! :)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A QUICKY
Hee!
Earlier this evening I was reading through our local news website and came across this short article:
Obama Calls Coach Saban
At the end it talks about how the team is excited about their upcoming visit to the White House, and all I could think of was Coach Saban sitting on a park bench saying
"I went to the White House. A-gain. I met the president. A-gain."
And that made me laugh much more than it should have.
Earlier this evening I was reading through our local news website and came across this short article:
Obama Calls Coach Saban
At the end it talks about how the team is excited about their upcoming visit to the White House, and all I could think of was Coach Saban sitting on a park bench saying
"I went to the White House. A-gain. I met the president. A-gain."
And that made me laugh much more than it should have.
I'm sorry.
Monday, January 09, 2012
RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) I love bread. Love, love, love it. I know it's the worst thing in the world to just sit and chow down on, but it's one of the things I just get a jones for a lot of the time. My favorite at the moment is Sesame Semolina from Panera Bread. I'll just go in and buy a loaf every once in a while, and I'm good for a week and a half. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this except that I just had a piece of it toasted for breakfast and the memory of it still lingers. :) Seriously, if you like bread, you need to try it.
2) Oy. There are people from my church who have friended me on Facebook, and they saw the pictures that Jeoff took of us during our New Year's Eve "party." They think I was drunk. I promise, I wasn't! That's just what I look like, and I can't apologize enough for that. I was acting goofy when the pictures were made, and now they think I was smashed. Honestly, there are also kids from my church that are my Facebook friends, and I'd never, never, never let pictures of me stay tagged with my name if I was doing something questionable. I didn't think anything about those pictures being posted until someone said something to me about them, and now I feel terrible. I don't know if they believed me when I told them I wasn't drunk.
That entire day, all I'd had was a glass and a half of wine (because I'd finally found some I liked), plus one glass of champagne at midnight, and Josh asked me to try a tiny bit of some kind of foul, red stuff that he said was sweet (but it was a filthy, filthy lie.) Believe it or not, even with my appallingly low tolerance of alcohol, I didn't even get tipsy until after the champagne...and mostly it just made me very sleepy. After posting one questionable twitter entry, which in retrospect probably could have been worded differently, I went to bed before I could begin emailing people (you're welcome.) I was still a long way from drunk, though. I've been more buzzed from breathing in Sharpie marker fumes while working on a project.
Bleh. I'm stuck somewhere between feeling really awful about this and sincerely wishing people would mind their own damn business.
3) Speaking of being disappointed in me... I still haven't sent my hats to that charity yet. It isn't that I don't want to, but the logistics are a nightmare, and the cost of shipping everything to California is prohibitive. For whatever reasons, I had no idea that the number of hats I made would be so heavy or require so many boxes! I've given away quite a few hats, but I'd still like the bulk of them to go to people in need. I'm thinking of calling one of the local hospitals and seeing if they have any kind of program for the people going through chemotherapy. I may also see if the children's group at my church ever goes to nursing homes to visit, and see if they want to take some to the elderly people. I feel so bad that this hasn't been taken care of yet! I just want to do something nice!!
4) I'm absolutely loving the new coffee maker! It's so easy to throw a pod into it and make a cup of coffee without making a huge mess or having way more coffee than I'll drink! I know I sound like an infomercial, but I actually do make quite a mess when I make coffee the old fashioned way. I also love the fact that it makes other stuff, because I recently got some Earl Grey tea pods (I won't lie, it was mostly so I could pretend to be Capt. Picard) and realized I actually really like it. My one problem is that we have a ton of pods that I don't really care for and I don't know what to do with them. It came with 4 different boxes of coffee, and I only really like one of them. Plus, we bought some hot chocolate and chai tea latte pods, and they taste weird. I thought they had artificial sweeteners in them, but they don't, so I'm not sure what makes them taste so odd. I can't drink them, though. At any rate, I really like the machine. I tried the "hot water only" button the other day to make some instant rice, but forgot to rinse the spout out first. Just FYI...rice made with coffee tainted water is gross. :)
2) Oy. There are people from my church who have friended me on Facebook, and they saw the pictures that Jeoff took of us during our New Year's Eve "party." They think I was drunk. I promise, I wasn't! That's just what I look like, and I can't apologize enough for that. I was acting goofy when the pictures were made, and now they think I was smashed. Honestly, there are also kids from my church that are my Facebook friends, and I'd never, never, never let pictures of me stay tagged with my name if I was doing something questionable. I didn't think anything about those pictures being posted until someone said something to me about them, and now I feel terrible. I don't know if they believed me when I told them I wasn't drunk.
That entire day, all I'd had was a glass and a half of wine (because I'd finally found some I liked), plus one glass of champagne at midnight, and Josh asked me to try a tiny bit of some kind of foul, red stuff that he said was sweet (but it was a filthy, filthy lie.) Believe it or not, even with my appallingly low tolerance of alcohol, I didn't even get tipsy until after the champagne...and mostly it just made me very sleepy. After posting one questionable twitter entry, which in retrospect probably could have been worded differently, I went to bed before I could begin emailing people (you're welcome.) I was still a long way from drunk, though. I've been more buzzed from breathing in Sharpie marker fumes while working on a project.
Bleh. I'm stuck somewhere between feeling really awful about this and sincerely wishing people would mind their own damn business.
3) Speaking of being disappointed in me... I still haven't sent my hats to that charity yet. It isn't that I don't want to, but the logistics are a nightmare, and the cost of shipping everything to California is prohibitive. For whatever reasons, I had no idea that the number of hats I made would be so heavy or require so many boxes! I've given away quite a few hats, but I'd still like the bulk of them to go to people in need. I'm thinking of calling one of the local hospitals and seeing if they have any kind of program for the people going through chemotherapy. I may also see if the children's group at my church ever goes to nursing homes to visit, and see if they want to take some to the elderly people. I feel so bad that this hasn't been taken care of yet! I just want to do something nice!!
4) I'm absolutely loving the new coffee maker! It's so easy to throw a pod into it and make a cup of coffee without making a huge mess or having way more coffee than I'll drink! I know I sound like an infomercial, but I actually do make quite a mess when I make coffee the old fashioned way. I also love the fact that it makes other stuff, because I recently got some Earl Grey tea pods (I won't lie, it was mostly so I could pretend to be Capt. Picard) and realized I actually really like it. My one problem is that we have a ton of pods that I don't really care for and I don't know what to do with them. It came with 4 different boxes of coffee, and I only really like one of them. Plus, we bought some hot chocolate and chai tea latte pods, and they taste weird. I thought they had artificial sweeteners in them, but they don't, so I'm not sure what makes them taste so odd. I can't drink them, though. At any rate, I really like the machine. I tried the "hot water only" button the other day to make some instant rice, but forgot to rinse the spout out first. Just FYI...rice made with coffee tainted water is gross. :)
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