Thursday, October 19, 2017

A QUICKY

Heehee.  The other day I was taking some pictures of pictures that we have hanging in our hallway (the official photo gallery of every American suburban family.) Steve and I have exactly one picture from our wedding on display in the house, and not many people have ever seen it, so I thought I'd post it to Facebook.  We've been married a long time, so I don't usually post wedding pictures, but I thought this one was cute.  Steve had hair, we looked happy, yadda yadda yadda...

Lots of people liked it, because of course they did.  Who doesn't like a good wedding picture?  But people have been telling us "Happy Anniversary!" all week.  Our anniversary is in November!  Of course they don't know that, because why should they, but now I wonder if I should post anything in November about our actual anniversary. I don't want embarrass anyone who has told us happy anniversary already.  They are so sincere about it that I hate to tell them they're wrong. 

Eh, I'll just tell Steve happy anniversary in private.  Like some kind of psychopath.


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

WELL THAT WAS WEIRD

Yesterday was the first day of the work week for us, since Monday was Columbus Day and our offices were closed.

One of the first things I always do is to open the church's email to see if there is anything important that came in over the weekend. So I opened Outlook and the emails began to load.  One of the first ones I noticed was from last Friday, and it stuck out because it was from a real person and not an organization. It was an inquiry from a local mom about our yearly Fall Festival, which, modest as it is, it is kind of a big deal for some of the kids in the neighborhood.

I was just about to answer the message when I saw a second message from the same sender, which had arrived on Monday when the offices were closed, and in the preview line for the message, it said "Are you sure?"

I opened the second message and read it, and it said "Are you sure? The website said it would be on the 29th." I looked down a little further, and saw that I had written something along the lines of "Hi! It will be on November 1st."  I was completely confused, because A) I had not received or sent a message to/from this woman at any point last week, B) clearly I had written this woman back, because the evidence was right there, and C) That isn't the right date at all.

You know how sometimes a thing will happen, and you start questioning your own sanity?  Well, I sat there reading my own words and began to wonder if I actually had been at work on Monday and just didn't remember.  I remembered sleeping in, I remembered Steve making breakfast, and I remembered going to Best Buy on Monday, but maybe that was all a weird hallucination! I got that weird feeling in my stomach like I was about to find out the world was fake and I was nothing more than a brain in a jar hooked up to a battery or something.

I finally decided to re-read the entire message and saw that, yes, the woman had written the original email last Friday, October 5th. My reply was written on October 9th...but in 2015.  I have no idea what happened, but the lady had apparently written me the same question and message two years before, and had actually replied to a 2 year old response.  I don't know if I was more confused at that, or that she apparently still had my 2015 message in her inbox to reply to.

Anyway, I thought that was weird.  I deleted her messages and didn't write back, just in case there was some type of time warp thing and by sending her another email, I'd tear a hole in the space-time continuum.  Safety first!

Tuesday, October 03, 2017

HAPPY CHEESE

I found a new YouTube channel that I love to watch.  I don't even know why I like it, but it's very soothing for some reason.

I have no idea how I came across these videos, but then, sometimes on YouTube you go to watch a scene from Ferris Beuller, fall down a rabbit hole of videos, and wind up watching a how-to video on home circumcision.  (Right?  That's happened to more than just me?)

Anyway, these videos are by an outfit called "James Townsend and Sons" and, according to their website they are "a manufacturer and retailer of quality reproduction 18th and early 19th Century clothing and personal accessories."  They are located in Pierceton, IN, and from what I understand, sell their merchandise to historical reenactors and the like.

The main guy, James, does 18th and early 19th century cooking, using actual recipes from those times, and usually he tries to do them using the tools and techniques that would have been used back then.  He sometimes stirs things with sticks.  I don't know why I like it so much, but it's very interesting.  He's gone to other historical places, kind of like Constitution Hall Village or Colonial Williamsburg type places, and he gets workers from there to show him how to make things from their particular area.  He also seems to have a thing for nutmeg. 

Also, the guy is so freaking EARNEST and excited about what he's doing that I can't help but enjoy watching him.  I don't know if any of you like watching people cook, much less historical cooking stuff, but this man is fun to watch just because he seems to be so in love with what he's doing.  He reminds me of Bob Ross a little, only less soft spoken. 

Why am I telling you about this?  I dunno.  I like it, so I'm telling you in case you might like it, too.  It's call sharing, CAROL!

In case you're bored one day, or develop a need to know how to make boiled puddings, you should go and watch a couple of videos. 

Enjoy!







Sunday, October 01, 2017

QUICKY - WHERE AM I?

I've been almost sick most of the weekend. Nothing terrible, but whatever I have made me feel yucky enough to miss church today.

After making sure someone would be able to cover the sound booth for services, and letting the others who'd be calling to track me down know what was going on - because that's what happens when you work for a church, I went back to bed and have been dozing off and on all morning.

Every time I doze off, I have a dream I wake up in a bed someplace else. When I wake up, I am back in my own bed. At least, I think that's what is going on. Maybe I'm in one of those other beds and am dreaming I'm waking up in this bed. I'm so confused.

I also dreamed I went to a football game with the wife of a friend of mine, but I'm pretty sure that actually was a dream.

Maybe I'm in the matrix. Someone send me Keanu Reeves.

Friday, September 29, 2017

THINKLINGS

1) The funeral went well, thank you for asking.  I managed to get the service in order and everything went smoothly as far as I could tell. Doing A/V for a funeral is as nerve wracking as it is doing it for someone's wedding, because if you play the wrong song, or a video doesn't play at the right time, you can't just say "Hey, hold up! Gimme a second!"  Luckily, that didn't happen!

During the song I was concerned about, I took a ball point pen and stabbed myself in the leg with it, so I managed to not cry as much as I might have.  It's not a bad trick, but my leg hurt for the rest of the day!  Haha!

2) The other day I had too much caffeine and was overly enthusiastic in my greeting to the UPS man.  It was uncomfortable.

Also, our UPS man is very nice and he remembers my name, but I don't know his name, but I can't ask him at this point because it would be awkward to admit I don't know it.

3) A small update on my brother.  I saw him last week, and although he is slowing down and sleeping more and more, the hospice nurses say that his vitals are pretty good and he seems to be in good spirits.  Please continue to keep him and my mom in mind, because this situation is still very tough.

4) I had to buy a new wedding band, and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.  I don't wear my original wedding band and although I already had two alternate rings, one is too small and the other belonged to my grandmother and I'm too scared to wear it because I don't want to lose it!

I went to Wal-Mart (don't judge me) because I knew that they had cheap rings there, and I picked out a wide silver band.  I think it might be a man's ring, though, because it's very thick and not-at-all feminine.  It feels like I'm wearing a hula hoop on my hand.  It's also very shiny, which makes me feel self conscious!  Eh, well, it fits, and people can see it, so everyone will know I am married. That's what they're for, right?

I guess I could have shelled out for a few diamond stack rings or something, but why be vulgar, dahling?  Haha!   I'll worry about having diamonds when I'm older and have paid off more bills.

5) I wore some metallic green lipstick to work to mess with my boss.  That probably sounds kind of silly, but you have to understand, the pastor at my church is easily distracted by anything even the slightest bit unusual, so I felt it was my duty to play this little joke. Unfortunately, he didn't come into work, so I figured my coworker (who is also usually very observant and critical about anything even slightly unusual) would get a kick out of it.

Either he never noticed it, or he was not in the mood, because even though we had a conversation, he never mentioned it.  I was honestly surprised, because it is exactly the kind of thing he'd normally jump right on to.  I was determined to play it out, even though I looked ridiculous, but he never said anything.  I finally had to try and take it off, because eating breakfast was smearing it around. I say I "tired" to take it off, because the stupid stuff stained my lips.  I looked like I'd either been deprived of oxygen, or that I'd had a hot date with Kermit the Frog.

*EDIT: The pastor came to work late and noticed that my lips were the wrong color, even though the lipstick was gone. I am TICKED that he didn't get to see them green! It would have been funny.


6) OK, about the otters and why I abandoned them for a bit:  Someone told me (innocently, of course) that otters do terrible things.  I googled what it was, and yes, some otters do terrible things to baby seals.  I couldn't get that out of my head for a while, so every time I saw otters, I thought of what I had learned about them.  I mean, yeah, that's silly, but since I used pictures of otters to kind of forget
about the bad things of the world, it was no fun to think "Oh, how cute! Well, except for the ones who do these terrible things! In fact, forget how cute they are! They do terrible things!" That is, unfortunately, the way my mind works sometimes.  Heh.  Anyway, I've come to terms with the fact that, just like people, some of them are bastards and some are adorable, so I'm going to focus on the adorable ones.

They make me feel better.  Shut up.

7) Sometimes I make poor choices. I hope you fine people can still love me in spite of that.
 

Thursday, September 28, 2017

YOU KNOW WHAT?


I'm taking otters back!  I don't care if some of them commit atrocities!  I think they're adorable and they make me feel better when I'm sad.

I'm not even sad right now, but I'm still putting up an otter because it's cute!

Never let anyone take away your otters.

That is all.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

TEN YEARS

It occurred to me a couple of days ago that it will have been 10 years ago this coming Sunday (October 1st) that my father passed away.

It probably sounds odd to say that it "occurred" to me, because it seems like I should have the dates marked on a calendar, but really, missing someone doesn't work like that.  Well, at least not for me.  There really isn't a timeline in grief, it just is.  It goes back and forth between better and worse over and over, like the tides, but it never goes away. Even though you are aware of the days and hours, it also runs altogether into one big wash of time.


Ten years, though.  Somehow it seems like it just happened yesterday and sometimes it feels like it happened a hundred years ago.  Haha, how's that for a cliche?

I don't remember a whole lot about that time, because everything seemed so unreal, but the things I do remember are hard set in my mind.  Sara brought food to my mom's house and Steve had to bring me clothes - but nothing he brought fit exactly right.  A friend from church came by my mom's house and I was confused because I didn't know how she knew where I was.  Kenny came to my dad's visitation, stayed to the very end, and was the first person to make me laugh in days. His mom, Bonita, wrote me the kindest letter afterwards because she knew what it was like to lose a father unexpectedly. Our cousins Greg, Amy, and Kristin drove three hours to be there for the funeral, and Steve's boss sent a basket of beautiful flowers.  It's weird what you remember about times like that, but those are all wonderful things to remember about such an awful time, so I'm glad those memories stayed.

Thinking about his passing has also made me think of the past ten years and everything that has happened.  I wonder what he'd think about all of it?  For at least the five years following his death, every year I lost so much and so much changed. I changed.  I'm not the same person that I was, and it makes me wonder if he would even like me now. I hope so!  It's hard not to let yourself become hard and cynical when you're faced with certain things, but would him being here to talk to have made any of that better? I dunno.

Heh, I actually started out hoping to wrote an eloquent, heartfelt ode to my dad, but it didn't end up being that, did it?  That's ok, though.  Some people would be much better at expressing themselves than I am, but for me, all I can say is that I miss him and I wish he was here. I'll probably always feel that way.

One thing I've learned through his death and all that followed is that losing someone you love doesn't really get easier.  It doesn't matter if they die, if they just lose touch, or if your relationship with them changes in some significant, but diminished, way. If you ever truly cared anything about them, it hurts when that happens.  It's unfair that people can suddenly be out of your life before you're finished loving them.

And that's all I've got to say about that.