Wednesday, May 11, 2016

NICE (A QUICKY)

I had an appointment with my doctor this morning for a checkup, and after he'd gone over all of my stuff (barring accidents, acts of God, and jealous wives, I should live a few more years, at least!) we stood outside of the exam room and talked a bit. 

We always chat for a minute, but he was particularly talkative today while he was filling out my prescriptions. He suddenly stopped and looked at me kind of strangely.  He said:

"Wow, I've just told you a lot about myself today!  That's more than I've ever told.  How did you do that? You should become a policeman or detective.  I just wanted to tell you things.  Is that normal?"

How did I do what?  Maybe I have a nice face?  Maybe the girl who does my eyebrows makes me took perpetually interested in whatever people are saying?  I don't know, but he acted like he thought I had somehow tricked him into telling me his life story!  It was kind of funny, but I thought it was nice.

I hope people feel comfortable telling me things.

Monday, May 09, 2016

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING: THE BLOG AWAKENS

1)  When I went to the dentist the other morning, the dental assistant that was scheduled to do my cleaning was running a bit late.  I guess I look like someone who'll start eating the dental floss if left to my own devices, so they turned on the television for me while I waited for her to get there.  It just so happened that the station was turned to HGTV, and they were showing one of those awful real estate shows. This one was about people who wanted to buy homes on the coast.  Not vacation homes, but primary homes that were on the beach.  Great!  We all know that one day I want one of those, so I figured that if I was going to get stuck watching one of these damned reality shows, this one might be OK.  It was not OK. 

Let me begin by saying that I've never had to shop for real estate myself, so I don't know first hand what it's like.  I have been told that it can be a stressful, sometimes tense, activity.  You have to be picky because it's a huge, important investment, and there are probably going to be points wherein you and your significant other are not going to agree somewhat vehemently.  Why would you want to put something like that on television?  There is no way that you are going to come out of it looking good.  Probably a lot of it is editing, but agood bit of it was not. Oh, dear Lord, and they also tried to be funny.  It was cringeworthy.

These people obviously had the means to buy very nice houses, but their arguments about things that were wrong with the ones they were being shown were ridiculous.  I get it, they want what they want and there isn't really anything wrong with that, but they just sounded so silly.  Rich people whining that the walk to the beach from their back door is just a bit too long is not a thing that I want to hear.  I know it's dumb that these people aggravated me so badly. I recognize that.  I just...I don't usually use the word privilege very often, but these folks didn't seem to recognize just how good they had it, and their fussing and complaining about these dumb things on freaking television in front of God and everyone just bothered me.  Also, the real estate agent kept taking these people to houses that were way out of their budget.  Why would she do that?  If you have a budget, and you tell them that, why would they show you a house you can't afford? I got stressed out just thinking about it and wound up talking to the TV like the people could hear me.  I'm sure the other patients were just loving that.

I think I'm just annoyed way to easily! :)

2) I had a terrible dream the other night, and I couldn't escape from it!  I won't go into much detail, because I really don't remember a lot of it, but when the dream started, I remember thinking "Oh, no!  Not the intruder dream again!"

For the record, I don't remember having a dream like this before, so that was kind of odd.  However, sure enough, it was a dream that someone had gotten into my house and was trying to hurt me.  It was one of those dreams where I couldn't get away from the man, no matter how hard I tried.  He was supernatural in some way, so no matter what I did, I couldn't stop him.  Then I either kind of woke up, or was dreaming that I was waking up, because the next thing I knew I was lying in my bed with the remote control to the light in my hand, trying desperately to turn the light on.  It wouldn't work.  I couldn't get the light on no matter how hard I tried.  Then I slipped right back into the dream and at that point I was fighting the intruder off.  I wasn't alone, although I don't remember who was with me, and we all had weapons. I finally got a clear shot and stabbed him in the chest with whatever it was I was holding.  He didn't die.  He just kept coming!  It was so scary.  I finally, finally, woke up, but was in crazy town for a few minutes.  I was convinced that the intruder was actually in the house and I knew I couldn't sleep anymore until I found out for sure.  I got up and went to the living room (no intruder, of course) but Steve had forgotten to set the alarm which freaked me out all over again.  I set it and wound up falling asleep sitting up in my chair.  That dream was not at all fun.

Although, on a lighter note, the intruder who was scaring me so badly was Tom Cruise.  I'm sure IRL, he's a lovely man, but in my dreams he was a scary mothershutyourmouth.

3) I thought something was terribly wrong with me last week.  I'd go to bed, sleep all night as far as I know - except that night with my Tom Cruise dream, and wake up with these horrible black, puffy circles under my eyes. It looked very much like I had black eyes, although I had not engaged in any fisticuffs that I remembered.  I actually started to get scared something was really wrong.  My skin is so pale that any spot or bruise is very obvious, so I started looking up what could cause something like that to happen.  As I said, I was sleeping all through the night, and although I was tired during the day, it still didn't explain why I looked so sick.  I even went through some trouble to find and buy special make up to neutralize the color under my eyes. I have a checkup with my doctor this week, and I was gearing up to tell him that something HAD to be wrong with me when I finally figured it out. 

Three Words:  Cheap. Ass. Eyeliner.

I wear dark eyeliner, and it doesn't always all come off when I wash my face.  I had gotten a sample of some black eyeliner and I'd been using it.  Apparently it was running down under my eyes at night and staining the skin.  Instead of looking like makeup, it faded just enough to look like bruises, and the stain wasn't rubbing off when I rubbed my face.  I feel like such an idiot.

Silver lining, though, at least I figured it out before my doctor did a bunch of blood tests on me!  Go Me! :)

4) My mom told me something that my dad used to say, but it doesn't sound like him at all.  Has anyone ever heard the term "Pee like a tied coon?"  Apparently it means you pee a lot.  I don't know.  I know it's crass, but it tickles me!  I like finding out bits of info like that.  It makes my parents seem more like real people, rather than just parents. 


Thursday, May 05, 2016

POSTAL

 I got the weirdest thing in the mail the other day.  I've been kind of hesitant to talk about it because I had to check it out first, but as far as I can tell it's nothing nefarious, just strange. 
I got home from work the other day and saw a package sitting on our stoop.  I had been waiting on a package, so I was expecting to open it and find a bunch of art supplies I had ordered.  Instead, the box was full of packing peanuts and a wooden box that had an envelope sitting on top. I had never seen anything packaged like that before, but I'd never ordered anything from this particular company before, either.  I opened the envelope, thinking it would contain a packing slip, but it was a letter that started out "Dear Kelly." OK, then, maybe it was a very friendly art supply company. 

The letter was long and kind of hard to read because the handwriting was very cramped, but I figured out right away it wasn't a packing slip of any kind.  It was from a guy named Tom, and it said he didn't know me, but he needed to warn me, and he'd been given my name.  He said he needed to relieve himself of a terrible burden and turn away from his memories of "this terrible woman." It also said that fate had its reasons for wanted me to hear the story.  It didn't make a lot of sense, but it sounded like a warning.  I thought I'd been the recipient of some kind of chain mail, but it didn't tell me to pass anything on.  Like I said, it was weird. 


 I immediately started to document everything I did from that point on for Twitter, because if I'm going to wind up with a human organ, a box of bees, or anthrax I want people who know me to know how it went down.  There are too many people who'd think I was up to shenanigans were I to be found dead with something like that on me.  The next step was to actually open the box, which I was hesitant to do.  I was home alone!  The box look like it had been left over from some kind of old industrial use and it didn't give me a clue of what it was and it could have had anything in it! 


 I managed to pry it open (and it wasn't bees, thank goodness) and it was full of old newspaper packing.  Underneath that was an old book with a burn or stain on the cover, a metal thing with symbols on it, and a missing poster of some kid I'd never heard of. 




I was grateful it wasn't anything disgusting or dangerous in there, but still...WTF?  The newspapers didn't give any info away, because it was just classified ads that didn't seem to be specific to one place, and the book was all scribbled in and full of newspaper clippings.

I didn't really know what to do with all this.  I mean, I've always wanted to get a package in the mail that had some kind of mystery in it, but I had always thought it would be something Indiana Jones-esque where I'd have to grab my passport and fly to some other place to solve a mystery.  This was more like someone with a weird nephew who had gone nuts needed to get rid of evidence!  Still, though, I was intrigued.  Tom had evidently known someone I knew, so why not send it to me, right?  I still got my cool mystery box from an unknown sender, so I was kind of digging it, creepy or not!

I finally managed to read the book, which turned out to be a journal of some kid who evidently thought he was either haunted by a ghost, or possessed by something.  The newspaper clippings were obits, apparently from the same family of people, but I still haven't put it all together yet.  I guess it could be a joke of some kind, but it's really freaking elaborate, and I don't know anyone who'd go to that much trouble to play a prank on me.  I'm still trying to go through everything and see if I can figure out what's going on.  I haven't gotten anything else from Tom, so maybe this is it?  We'll see!

I'll let you know if I figure anything else out about this! 

Monday, April 18, 2016

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING 6: THE BLOGGANING

1) This morning while I was getting ready for work, I reached over and grabbed one of the sample bottles of perfume that I keep on the edge of my vanity.  I have a lot of these tiny bottles as a result of being a member of Birchbox and because I'd sent off for some samples from a new perfume company I found on the web. The vial didn't have a name on it, just a number, and I couldn't smell which one I picked up through the glass.  I was in a hurry, so I didn't think about it before I sprayed it on and immediately realized that I'd put on one of the samples of men's cologne that I'd been sent from that new company.  Since it's one I don't usually wear, I haven't gone nose blind to it and I have been smelling it all morning.

I normally wouldn't have a problem with that, but y'all, this is a sexy smelling men's cologne and it's distracting!  I love it when I come across a good smelling man. I used to make my boyfriends uncomfortable at times because if they just naturally smelled good (maybe it's a pheromone thing?) or wore cologne that I liked, I'd pretty much latch myself to them and just sniff them for a while. That actually sounds pornier than it should, but it's true. 
 
I think that because I don't see very well, my sense of smell is heightened more than it should be. Because of that, I am affected by scents almost more than any other thing. I can't help it!  It's a very primal thing.  Of course, with great power comes great disappointment. If I don't like the way a person smells, it can ruin the way I feel about them. If I really don't like the way they smell, I can't be around them at all.

Good grief, I just made myself sound like a golden retriever. :) Well, at least I don't bark. OK, well, sometimes I do.

Anyway, so this cologne is awesome and would smell good on a man, and Steve doesn't like wearing cologne, so I need someone who will volunteer to wear this stuff (I don't even know what it's called) so I can just stand by and sniff you.  That's not a weird request, is it?  Anyone?

Eh, I can probably find someone on Craigslist!  ; )

2) I hurt myself this morning when I was getting some Jell-O for my lunch.  I hurt myself on Jell-O.  How is that even a thing that can happen?  That's more embarrassing than the time I hurt myself crocheting.

3) Last Saturday night, Steve, Anthony and I went out together for the evening.  We started out at the food truck rally, which would have been cool if the lines weren't so darn long!  The only things I was interested in trying had ridiculously long lines, and we didn't have a lot of time, so I ended up having a hipster, Margarita popsicle for dinner.  It was very good, hipster or not! I should have fancy popsicles for dinner more often! :)
After that, we went to a play Anthony had heard about.  It was very unusual.  I don't mean it was bad, because it wasn't, it was just very different from what I'm used to.  For starters, it was held in an old, historic house that I didn't even know existed called The Lowry House.  It was a really beautiful house, and I wish I'd had time to tour it, but there were a lot of people wondering around and I didn't want to lose my seat, so we sat and waited for the show to begin. We saw "Bluebeard: the Trial of Gilles de Rais" which was the story about the man who inspired the fairy tale Bluebeard.  Only instead of killing his wives, he seems to have been a child rapist and serial killer.  Maybe.  No one really knows if he actually did those awful things or if he was only accused of them and then admitted to them so that he wouldn't be tortured.  The play was set up like a trial.  It was actually interesting, if not a bit long.   The main guy (Gille de Rais) was a fantastic actor, and as far as I could tell, they were all local folks. so it was both odd and impressive.

Once it was over, all of the actors stood outside in a kind of receiving line so that you could talk to them as you left. I know it was rude and I shouldn't have done it, but I felt too awkward talking to them, so I just ran past them all and hid in the car. I'm an awful person, but I was just too shy.  I might have shouted that they did a good job as I went by, but I can't be sure any of them heard it. :(

4) I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: How did the couple in The Pina Colada song not end up in a screaming fight when they met up with each other?  Basically, we are led to believe that they are perfectly OK with the fact that each of them were caught getting ready to cheat on the other one, but there wasn't a problem because they still ended up together at the end?  I call shenanigans.


I think they needed couples therapy, not rum drinks.

5) I accidentally killed a turtle over the weekend.  I feel really terrible about it.  Its ghost will probably haunt me.  It will haunt me slowly!




AN INTROSPECTIVE QUICKIE

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just grow up.

I'm a ridiculous, silly person and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

I know so many people who do amazing things, and I'm just here...making dumb jokes, telling weird stories and making videos and pictures for friends.  That's not a very useful thing.

I feel like I should apologize to everyone I know for not having it more together.

Sorry, you guys!

I feel like I'm running out of time.

Maybe one day I'll figure it out.  I hope so.

Monday, April 11, 2016

A QUICKY: A SILVER LINING

Last week I finished my physical therapy! 

I can definitely tell a difference in how I feel, so I know it helped.  My arm doesn't go numb nearly as often and I have learned some stretching exercises to help if my neck and shoulders start hurting again.   I still have some pain, but so far, it's not nearly as bad as it was before.  It's more annoying than anything, really.  It's like sitting in a chair that has a big button in the upholstery, right at the top of my back, and no matter where I turn I can't get away from the button.  But hey, it's better than not being able to feel my hands, so I'll take it! :)

The silver lining I spoke of isn't that I was done with therapy, though.  It's better!  As I mentioned, the doctor said I have bone spurs, degenerative disk disease (which sounds worse than I think it really is), and arthritis in my neck. Apparently, the arthritis has made it possible for me to tell when it's going to rain!  My neck knob (or the C7 vertebra prominens if you're nasty) now functions as a weather detecting device!  I never thought that was a real thing.  You always hear of old timers that say they can tell the weather by their knee or elbow or something like that. It's really a thing, though! I can attest!  Every time it gets ready to rain, my neck starts hurting.  How funny is that?

So if you ever see me rubbing my neck, don't plan any picnics!

James Spann wishes he was that accurate.  

(Also, just like Karen, my boobs can tell the weather, but that's a different process.)

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING 5: ELECTRIC BLOGGALOO

1) I had a weird and kind of upsetting dream the other night.  I'mma tell you about it.

The other night I dreamed I was dead.  I didn't die in the dream, because when stuff like that happens a person tends to wake up completely.  No, I started off the dream knowing I was dead.  I could see my coffin, I could see my body in the coffin (although even in my dream I wouldn't get close to it or look at it in detail because it was giving me the serious wiggins) but I could still walk around and interact with people.  I guess I was dreaming I was a ghost, which is a new one for me.

I don't remember many details, but I do remember that I understood that I was going to be lying in state three days.  I only had those three days to do whatever it was I had to do as a walking dead person.  On the third day was my funeral and the minute they closed the coffin lid, I'd go on to wherever it was I was going to go.  It was a stressful dream.  As I said, I can't remember what I actually did, but one thing I know I was trying to do was look for people I loved so that I could say goodbye, only I couldn't find them all.  I was rushing around until my funeral (and I didn't recognize ANYONE who was there. Boo, you guys. Seriously.) and when it was over, I knew they were going close the lid, so I ran up and tried to keep that from happening.  I didn't make it.

When the lid closed, I blinked and realized I didn't go to any afterlife that I'd ever heard of. I wasn't in heaven or hell, I was in a library of some sort.  It didn't have books, but it did have computers.  I finally asked someone what was going on, and they told me I was in the year 3017. I'd been sent to the future!  I was horrified, because I knew I was too far gone to ever see anyone I knew again, but I jumped onto a computer and tried looking up information on my friends and family, only I couldn't find it because it was over 1,000 years ago and no one had kept records that long.

It was a sad dream and I didn't like it.  I did get to go to the future, though, so that was kind of interesting.  Silver lining, I guess.

2) Steve and I went to a very sweet wedding on Saturday!  His band director's daughter got married at a place called Hudson Family Barn, which was a lovely, lovely spot.

I wasn't exactly expecting the place to be as nice as it turned out to be.  I had designed their wedding invitations and when she told me where she was getting married, she just told me it was in someone's barn.  Now, I'm not so far out of the loop that I didn't know that barn weddings are a thing.  I have Pinterest, after all!  I was literally expecting a barn that had once held animals and farm equipment, but as it turns out, it was a gorgeous spot that (I think) had actually been created to hold events.  There were three buildings, all designed to look like old farm buildings, but in a good way.  It's kind of hard to explain, so here are a few pictures I took:





 It really was a great spot for a wedding and the day was slap your eyes out gorgeous, so everything turned out beautifully!

There was only really two things that bothered me about the whole thing.   Let me just get this out of the way first: I personally think that it is absolutely tacky to take pictures with your phone during someone's wedding.  I know, I know, that isn't a popular opinion, but people holding out phones ruins a lot of the professional pictures AND since some people haven't figured out how to mute their phones, you hear camera sounds during the ceremony.  I'm a big believer of having fun during your wedding ceremony if that's what you want, but still, it's a sacrament and should be treated with at least a little solemnity.  When the bride walked down the aisle, at least 5 people in front of us (we were on the third pew, so I have no idea how many people behind us were doing it) held out their phones to take pictures. There was a brass ensemble playing and it was interrupted by camera sounds.  Even when the music stopped and the preacher started the ceremony, someone's mawmaw held out her phone and started snapping away, sound on her phone turned all the way up.  It literally sounded like:

"Dearly beloved, we are *CAMERASOUND* in the sight of God and *CAMERASOUND* *CAMERASOUND* *CAMERASOUND* and I believe it was the Apostle John who said *CAMERASOUNDCAMERASOUNDCAMERASOUND* bond between two people who...."

It was so annoying and rude! Maybe the bride and groom didn't care and therefore I shouldn't care, but I don't like it when people have no manners!  Then there were the people sitting in the seat directly in front of us. Oh. My. Word.  These people got on my nerves!  When we arrived and sat down, as I said, we were on the third row.  We were sitting towards the middle, and the man of the couple was sitting ahead of us, but got up and went someplace.  I thought he was one of the photographers, because he had a big DSLR camera around his neck, but he never moved to take any pictures before the wedding started.  He came and sat down right in front of me.  I mean, he blocked everything.  Then his wife (I guess) walked over and he pulled out a big, blue towel and spread it over the pew.  Now, the pews were a little splintery (I lost a new pair of hose that day) but they weren't dirty.  This lady came wearing a white pants suit, and I guess she figured that the outside was just too filthy for it.  Even the mothers of the bride and groom, wearing their fancy dresses, didn't drape a towel over the pew.  It didn't really annoy me, exactly, I just thought it was tactless and made the pews look junky, plus it made me feel as if they were making a big deal about having to be outside or something. How about you don't wear a white suit to an outside wedding? (Or at all, but that's just my humble opinion.)

Immediately after the ceremony began, both of these people pulled out cameras.  He had his big DSLR and she had her phone, and while she took pictures, the guy was filming on his big ass camera and he didn't care how much he was blocking everyone behind him.  I couldn't see the couple get married because his big, damn camera and his big, damn head, kept getting in my way.  I made a dramatic recreation so you can see what it was like for everyone behind him:

video

Today the rude wedding man will be played by Baby Chewbacca.
 
Just imagine Chewbacca holding a big, bright camera and waving it around his head and completely blocking what was going on.  I actually did that thing where I sighed really loudly, hoping he'd hear and maybe have a little shame, but he never did.  Steve thought I was disapproving of the ceremony and just being rude, but really, I was just trying not to punch this guy in the back of the head.

I did have one moment of embarrassment right before we left the venue.  The groomsmen were tearing down the wedding decorations and carrying them back to the storage shed, but I wanted to get a picture of the arch before they got to it.  I walked up ahead of them and sort of bent down to get the shot I wanted, when a big gust of wind blew the back of my dress pretty much over my head. I'm just thankful I was wearing a slip and decent underwear!

But everything else was great and I'm glad the wedding went so well.  :)

 3) I woke up at 2:00 AM with a weird desire to learn how to make edible sequins.  I don't know why.  Anyway, I looked it up online and those are actually a thing!  Who knew?

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

WAIT, I REMEMBERED #3

3) Because I know a couple of you were concerned, I was going to let you know that my dingy gray funk is now just sort of really pale gray.  It's not so much of a funk anymore as it is a film over everything.  A much thinner film than it was, though, thankfully. 

This has been a tough one, but I'm definitely feeling better than I was.

My inner music is almost back, though, which is good.  I now that sounds weird, so let me explain.  I usually always have music in my head.  It's a good thing, because when it isn't overpowering stuff (like Fat Bottomed Girls was literally stuck in there for days) it's just a good thing to have inside.  It gives me a beat to walk to and something to hum. It's a happy thing. Sometimes, though, when things get funky (in a bad way) the music stops and it gets too quiet in my head and everything feels too heavy.  That isn't a thing that happens a lot, so when it does, it's just a little scary.  It's like being in a house when the power goes off, so instead of that background noise of the little machines doing their thing that we get used to, you hear the weird sounds of your house settling.  I don't like it when my house settles. 

Buuuut, recently it's been like someone inside of me has been rolling a radio dial really fast.  So I can hear it, but I can't really catch it yet. I did have a moment when I was getting ready this morning when "Me and Mrs. Jones" came up on my play list and I almost had it back!  So, I'm getting there.  I'm hoping it sticks.

Thank you for caring, though! I'm glad you do.

Oh, and while I'm here...

4) Do you know why I was late to work today? 

Just as I was getting into the shower, the guy who does our quarterly bug spraying thing showed up.  When I say I was just getting in the shower, I mean I was completely ready to get into the shower, only the water wasn't warm enough.  I had to turn off the lights, stand for a minute or two wrapped in the decorative outer shower curtain in case he passed by the bathroom window until I could actually stand to get under the water, and I just stayed in the shower until Steve told me he was gone.  Steve was kind enough to make himself late for work so that he could let me know when it was safe to come out. I was in there a LONG time.

I'm glad the hot water held out.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) I went to see Batman vs. Superman on Saturday night and I liked it.  I don't care what anyone else says, it wasn't terrible.  It was dark and kind of humorless, but it wasn't a bad movie.  If you want a funny superhero movie, go see one from Marvel!  I even liked Ben Affleck as Batman!  So there, world!  Someone out there liked it.

I didn't have the best time while I was in the theater, though, because a teenage couple decided that they were going to sit right next to me and carnally explore one another during the movie.  I was so grossed out.  It was a weird situation, because even though there was an almost entirely empty row just ahead of us (we were in the back row of lower seats) and, in fact, many other places they could have sat, these two goobers decided that sitting right next to me was the best course of action.  When they first came in and sat down, I thought they were preteen kids coming in with their parents and they just didn't want to sit right next to them.  The boy sat down next to me and then the girl sat next to him.  I was uncomfortable, because I don't like strangers sitting that close to me when they don't have to, but what could I do?  Then they got up, moved down a seat to leave one in between us, but then got right back up and moved back.  Then the guy raised the armrest in between them and the girl pretty much lay down in his lap with her feet up on the seats ahead of us. I glanced over and saw how old they were, realized they were on a date, and prayed that they'd just watch the movie and leave each other alone. 

That prayer was not answered.

Look, I was a teenager once and did my fair share of movie theater kissing. However, when I knew I wasn't going to be watching the movie, I didn't sit right up in front of the theater, pressed up against a perfect stranger while I was doing it!  They were practically in my lap!  It was like they saw me and thought "Oh, she looks nice and squishy, let's go lie on her while we are publicly inappropriate!" They were literally so close to me that I could smell what she'd washed her hair with, and the grease from whatever restaurant they'd had dinner at. I could feel their body heat, and that is closer than I allow a lot of people I know and like to be to me.  Really, if I want to feel your temperature through your clothes, I'm really going to want to have to be that near to you at my own discretion.  I'm also going to expect you to take me to dinner and I at least know you're first name! Oh, and they were kissing SO DAMN LOUD.  It was gross. So gross.  I was so uncomfortable, but I didn't know what to do!  I wanted so badly to be mean and say something rude to get them away from me, but I couldn't do it! Times like this are when I really wish I hadn't had politeness instilled into my brain. I simply didn't know what to do.  Had I known that there were empty seats on the other side of my friend, I'd have just moved, but I thought the seats were full.  I didn't want to have to drag Steve and Anthony off somewhere else in the middle of the movie. I was stuck.  Y'all, by the time the movie was over (2.5 long ass hours later) I was afraid I was going to need to go to a clinic for an STD panel and pregnancy test.   Oh, and to top it off, when that dumb chick wasn't attached to her boyfriend's face, she was texting, and the light from the screen was in my eyes. So...yeah.  Good times.

But Wonder Woman was in the movie, and she's been my favorite since I was young enough for Underoos, so I was glad for that! 

Bleh.  I still feel unclean.

2) So, I've been going to physical therapy for my back/neck and it is actually noticeably helping!  The woman is from my church, and the pastor's daughter, and she is the DPT at the clinic I'm going to.  I'm glad for that, because I feel more comfortable knowing the person who is helping me.  She was glad that I wanted to come to her clinic, because where she's located is in a pain management center and she told me that a lot of the people who come in to be assessed are people with chronic pain and on really hardcore pain meds, and that there isn't really anything she can do to help them. 

I am someone she can help!  Yay!  What she is helping me with is to stretch the muscles in my neck and upper back, which is helping me regain the natural curve to my spine. I have to do a lot of weird neck stretches and posture exercises. She also applies this heated thingie (that is it's scientific name, I swear) to my neck and back, and she digs around in my muscles with her exceptionally bony fingers to undo knots and realign some kind of thing I have in my neck.  If it wasn't for the more painful things, it would almost be like going to a really unusual spa for an angry massage. My favorite thing, though, is the E-Stim machine!  She applies these big pads to my neck and back and sends electric pulses into my muscles. It was the thing I was worried about before, thinking it would be like electro-shock treatment, but it is very nice and relaxing.

In fact, when I told the pastor that I liked it, he brought his own at-home e-stim machine to let me try out.  His daughters bought him a small one to use after he plays golf.  I was willing to give it a shot, but unfortunately, it wasn't a nice as the big, professional machine and I couldn't quite get the setting right and it was actually kind of painful.  I reached over to turn it off, and I accidentally turned the knob the wrong way! That was incredibly unpleasant!  I did manage to turn it off before I did myself any more damage, but I think I'm going to leave the e-stim treatments to the professionals. :)

3) There was more, but I can't remember what it was!  I'm sure it was entertaining, though. :) I'll probably remember it later.