Thursday, November 19, 2009

OH, GOOD LORD...

If you ever want to know just how many degrees truly separate you from everyone else, just let someone post a rumor about you on Facebook.

First, let me explain my feelings on Facebook. I enjoy having a profile, really I do. It's fun to be able to keep in touch with old friends, see their pictures, and send a "note" to them whenever you feel like it. Because I enjoy it as much as I do, I try to keep it a "Drama Free Zone" for myself, as in, I try not to talk about really private things on public threads and I try not to say things in my status that has TMI or a "poor me" sound to it. After all, that is what my blog is for, right? Heehee! However, not everyone feels the way I do about the site, and what I do not like about it is how quickly one tiny, innocuous statement can spread and mutate throughout the width and breadth of the universe!

Case in point: At some point early Tuesday afternoon, someone made this comment on my status update..."Have you picked out a name yet."

Let's all pause for a moment and reflect on this question and all that it entails.

Now please understand that my status update had *NOTHING* to do with anything that could possibly be construed as an announcement of procreation of ANY KIND. Within minutes, literally, I had people asking me "names? Names for what?" "Are you pregnant?" and all of that. The last post was Josh saying "Are you prego? If you don't tell me, I'm starting a rumor!" Unfortunately for me, I didn't check Facebook until the next morning, so I left all of these people dangling out in the wind about what was going on. At about 4:45 the next morning I happened to see all of this. Oy vey. Luckily I saw it before Josh started a rumor, and said that no, I was only chubby, not pregnant. Whew.

I figured that was pretty much that until I got to church last night. We had our annual Thanksgiving dinner, so I went down to the kitchen to get started helping out with the food. One of the ladies I work in the kitchen stopped me and asked if there was anything I needed to tell them. Of course, my mind immediately went to the whole Facebook debacle, but since this lady isn't on Facebook, I couldn't see how she would know about it. Then she asked if I was expecting.

Great googly moogly, y'all! Apparently one of the people who saw the original comment, a girl I used to go to church with and who now lives out of state, emailed her mother and asked if I was going to have a baby. The mother, who also lives out of state, then text messaged the lady who I work with in the kitchen, who then told the other lady on the hostess committee, to whom I also had to explain that, no, I wasn't pregnant. Yikes.

Honestly, I was touched that so many people would give a great, big darn about whether or not I was having a baby, so I couldn't get even remotely angry at anyone about it. I personally think it's hilarious.

The weird thing about how it started is that I don't really know the lady who posted that comment that well. I know her, or I wouldn't have added her as a friend, but I don't know her all that well. My first guess is that she made some kind of mistake and added that comment on my status when she must have meant to add it to what someone else had posted. Who knows? I never got an explanation from her about what she had heard or anything!

But just in cast your great grandmother's college roommate's niece's best friend's dentist's daughter's first grade teacher's gardener asks you if I'm pregnant, you can tell them no. :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Just one more time to get it out of my system.

WWW.PANTHERBUTTS.COM

There. I think I'll be fine now.
For some reason, there is a spot close to where we live where people tend to post signs. They are the annoying, stick-in-the-ground signs that you see millions of during voting years, only these signs usually have nothing to do with voting. These signs are there to advertise things like community soccer clubs to sign up for, or church fundraisers, or sometimes start up businesses. Normally I don't pay much attention to these signs except for a brief look to see if anything of them had been replaced.

The other day, though, a new one caught my eye. The sign was advertising Boston Butts being sold to benefit the Huntsville High School wrestling team. My guess is that the word "butt" caught my eye, because my inner 12 year old started giggling. I read the entire sign and saw that there was a web address down at the bottom, and that is what actually got me laughing out loud:

www.pantherbutts.com

No, I don't think you get the full force of that web address. Let's look at it again.

WWW.PANTHERBUTTS.COM

I nearly ran off of the road because I was laughing so hard. Now, granted, this probably isn't as funny to anyone else as it is to me. The HHS mascot is a panther, so the address should make perfect sense, right? It totally doesn't! Who in their right mind would think "hmmmmmm, we need a website for ordering these roasts, but what could we all it? www.HHSFundraisers.com? How about www.BostonbuttsforHHS.com? Nah, those are not catchy enough. I KNOW! www.pantherbutts.com! Perfect! Let's go get some signs made!"

All I can think of when I see that sign, is that some web master for a very specific brand of niche porn is probably PISSED that the domain name is already taken. Hee.

So please, for the kids, go to www.pantherbutts.com and order a Boston Butt from the wrestling team. This way they can keep the domain name out of the hands of the perverts.

Friday, November 13, 2009

FONDUE, VOMIT, & STEPHEN KING

Steve and I went to The Melting Pot for our anniversary dinner last night and we had a lot of fun! We'd been to the one in Myrtle Beach, so we knew what to expect as far as food and such. I like this kind of restaurant, because it forces you to talk to whomever you eat with! Steve doesn't usually talk much when just the two of us go to restaurants, but since we had to share plates and a cooking pot (and because I had sharp, metal forks that I could poke him with if he got too quiet) we talked much more! I like good conversations over meals. I get there rarely. Everything was so good, and our waiter was really great! I did manage to drop cheese on myself, and burn my mouth with a potato, but we had a very nice time. Part of me wonders if we could be getting a bit taken advantage of, though. Don't get me wrong, I like the restaurant a lot and I'll most definitely go back, but I have this sneaking suspicion that eating there means you pay more for less food AND you have to cook it yourself.

Oh, well, being able to poke Steve with sharp, metal forks kind of makes it all worth it! :)

After we ate, we dropped by the fancy Barnes & Noble for a few minutes. OK, so it probably isn't exactly any fancier than any other Barnes & Noble, but it's in a fancy shopping mall, so I call it fancy. But I digress. On our way in, we heard this terrible sound. We stopped and looked around, and we realized that what we were hearing was some guy throwing up out in the parking lot. Only it didn't sound like a normal person puking...well, if there is such a thing as a "normal" sound of someone puking. I wish there was a way for me to explain so that you would understand how bizarre it sounded, but if it tells you anything, we stood there listening to this sound and looking for its source way longer than we would have if we had known it was someone barfing to begin with. Once we realized, we hastily walked into the store and Steve remarked that it sounded like some kind of creature from "Star Wars" and we busted out laughing because he was exactly right. He sounded like a Taun Taun! I realize how evil we must sound, admitting that we laughed like fools and someone who was obviously sick (and possibly non-human), but it was just one of those things that you can't help laughing at. Poor guy. I hope he's better today!

Our trip to Barnes & Noble was so that I could pick up the new Stephen King novel in hardback. I was going to make myself wait for the weekend before I got it, but I didn't. "Under the Dome" is an enormous book! I'm not kidding, at a glance, it looks longer than "The Stand" and that had over a thousand pages! It's supposed to be a book he started writing in the 80's and just couldn't finish, but he went back to it and figured he might as well clean it up and release it. I mean, the man can publish a grocery list and see it go on the NY Times Best Sellers List, but I hope that the story is good. If not, I could always hollow it out and use it as a panic room or something. Seriously, the book is huge!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

QUICKIES!

- I feel that if anyone has/has ever had an actual chance of being shot while protecting my way of life, they should be honored! HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

- Today is my 9th wedding anniversary! Hard to believe, isn't it?

- I complained about it being too hot in my office, so I turned the heat down. Now I'm cold. I'm too proud to go back in and change the thermostat.

- Krispy Kreme mini donuts are awesome and there is a very good chance that if I have some, I will not share. This is not selfishness, this is just fact.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I was locked IN the office last night because no one noticed I was here.

I always say goodbye before I leave, and my light was on, and I sit in front of the door! They still didn't notice I was still here! They turned off the lights and everything. I had to feel my way down the hall and down the stairs.

It's official. I've finally become invisible.

On the bright side, though, if I'm invisible I never have to wear pants again! :)

Monday, November 09, 2009

I found a site that tells about the history of my hometown! It is unexpectedly interesting. :)

Limestone County Historical Society


It is not the best designed site I've ever seen, and it doesn't have the most information, but what it does have was interesting (to me at least).
RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) Well, yesterday was a total bust. Steve and I got up and went to church in the morning. Everything was fine until about halfway through Sunday school, when Steve got a bad headache. He said it just hit him, and since he rarely ever gets headaches (or at least he hardly ever complains about them if he does get them) I knew it must've been pretty bad. We ended up leaving church before worship service and going to get him some medicine and breakfast to see if that would help him feel better. When we got home, I changed and lay back on the couch to read a magazine. The next thing I knew, I was waking up at 5:00 that evening. It was a ninja-like nap attack! I didn't see it coming in the least, and for me to sleep for such a long time was just irritating. When I woke up, I also had a terrible headache and wasn't feeling well, so we ended up staying home from evening services as well. I didn't accomplish anything of usefulness and that makes me mad! :P

2) I still wasn't feeling very well this morning, so even when I got up at the butt-crack of dawn to go to the gym, I didn't actually make it over there. I actually enjoy going, but I've missed the last few days for one reason or another. I'm quite frustrated with myself about this! I'm going to have to figure out how to make myself go after work if I can't make myself go in the mornings. On a lighter note, however, since I woke up so early and got ready for work earlier than normal, we were able to stop by Starbucks on the way in to work! They have already started serving their holiday drinks! Hello, Peppermint Mocha, I've missed you so!

3) Speaking of Starbucks. As much as I like the things they serve, and as much as I have enjoyed going there with friends to talk and hang out on occasion, I think I have finally decided that I prefer the non-chain coffee houses. There is something so blatantly mass produced about Starbucks. I don't know if that makes much sense, but it annoys me. It's like the place is trying so hard to be hipster-ish, but it's just too glossy. I don't know what finally made me notice this about the place, but I did and now it irritates me. Give me a place like Jittery Joe's (The original Athens, GA one) or Blue Sky Cafe (sadly, now closed) any day.

4) I entered a logo design contest the other day, and while I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I really, really want to win it! It's for Lollyphile, which is a swiftly growing company that has begun getting some attention across the country. I don't think I have much of a chance to win, because I've seen the other entries and they are awesome, but I'd love to be able to have something like that in my portfolio! I have so few things in there right now as it is. Fingers crossed! :)

5) My boss finished ripping down the wall in my office on Friday. Once again, he did it with a hammer, a drill and his bare hands! I was so scared that he was going to fall off of the rickety ladder that he was using and break himself, but he didn't!
Office Deconstruction 95% complete.

It feels weird having that wall gone, because now I have this empty space in the middle of the room that I don't know what to do with. He said it was so that I'd have more room, but room for what I'm not sure. Andrew took this photo of the hallway outside of my door:
It looks like some kind of modern art display. I call it "Office, Deconstructed" by Sam. :)

Friday, November 06, 2009

FIDDLE-DEE-DEE

I have just recently re-discovered my very favorite book, "Gone With the Wind." I'm not actually reading it this time, but listening to the audio novel. It's quite a different experience to listen to it instead of reading it, but it's just as enjoyable.

It has been years since I've read it, but mainly because I couldn't find my copy of it anywhere. Since the 8th grade, when I first read the book, I've tried to remember to pick it up every couple of years and read it, even though I've learned it practically by heart. Reading it is like finding a pair of comfortable slippers that I thought I lost. I just kind of slide into the story and get comfy. :)

I remember opening it for the first time and getting completely sucked into the story. I had seen the movie a thousand times, but the book was so much better! I had actually forgotten how much I really did love this book until I started listening to it a couple of days ago. I actually read my first copy of it to pieces, literally. I remember the cover fell off and I think I lost about half of the second year of the civil war!

I wanted to be Scarlett O'Hara. I remember employing some of the "southern belle" stuff I learned from the book and finding out that it worked just as well on the boys I knew in real life as it did in the story! Not on everyone, of course, but I learned to use it when I needed to. Heeheehee! My mom even made me a Scarlett costume for Halloween one year, with one of those dresses with the big skirts and ruffles and everything. Shut up, I was adorable! :)

I think Scarlett was probably my hero for years, but alas, I didn't realize at the time that she wasn't exactly the best role model for a young girl to have! So, of course, with all of the things that I emulated about her, I think I also picked up some of her less desirable traits. I didn't realize that until much later, though!

Oh well, I won't worry about that now. I'll think about it tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

A TINY RANT

From Saturday night to Monday evening, I had a bad sinus headache. I get them a lot this time of year. Well, I have them all of the time, actually, but they aren't always this persistent. Anyways, this was the kind that can completely wreck your day and make you feel as if you would gladly remove your head with a kitchen implement if it was possible. One of those that are thisclose to migraine status. Nothing I had on hand in my emergency purse kit would make a dent in it.

Yes, I have an extensive emergency purse kit.

After work, I asked Steve if he would stop at the ghetto Wal-Mart, which is on our way home, so that I could get some of that medicine that you have to show ID for. You know, the stuff that actually works. There are plenty of cold and sinus medications that you can just pick up and buy without bothering to show ID, but those are the kind whose active ingredients were long ago replaced with Kool-Aid and fairy dust because of the hastared meth-heads. When I walked back to that section where you pick up the cards to take to the pharmacy, there was nothing there but empty slots. I kind of stood there blinking and wondering if I was just hallucinating from the pain in my head, because the lack of patent medicine was quite baffling to me. I finally scrounged around and found one card for some "Tylenol Severe Sinus" pills that I didn't want, because I knew they would put me to sleep, but I was desperate! I figured if I had to take them at work, I'd just wear a sign around my neck that explained my situation or something. When I took the card to the pharmacy, I asked if this was all they had. The lady behind the counter told me that they didn't even have the medicine that I was holding a card for. They had nothing. They were out. OUT!

Now, am I mistaken, or is this cold and flu season? Wouldn't it be prudent to restock medicines that are affective against certain ailments during this time? Isn't it obvious that when you have shelves and shelves of medicines for colds and sinus problems that no one wants to buy because they are basically glorified Tic-Tacs, that you should probably order a back log of things that people do buy?! My head was in the process of splitting along my skull sutures and they are going to tell me that they DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING?!!!!!! *pant pant pant pant*

Of course, being the well bred southern lady that I am, I didn't yell or fling myself across the counter, rip the pharmacist's throat out with my teeth and bathe in her blood like I wanted to. I said "Thank You" and left the establishment. Then Steve took me to Walgreens and I found what I needed. Once I got home, I took some meds and finally got rid of the headache.

NO THANKS TO YOU, GHETTO WAL-MART!

Until further notice, they are on my list.

Monday, November 02, 2009

I have loved to read since I was in the third grade. I was indifferent about it up until then, but circumstance gave me a long car ride and one of my sister's books, and my love of reading was born.

Because I'm a long time reader, I have learned to read very fast. This is OK when I am reading a novel, but it is bad when I need to pay attention to facts written within the text. This has caused problems with me when doing homework or doing research for something. I also have the kind of mind that will jump off on a tangent with very little provocation. So, if I misread something, I tend to have a few moments where my mind wonders off and I ponder what it was supposed to mean! This kind of thing isn't conducive to being a productive person.

Recently, this little quirk of mine has begun happening more and more often. I blame my advanced age of 31. :) Last week I was reading Kenny's blog, and there was a sentence that started with "Habits are hard to break." I read it as "Hobbits are hard to break." My first thought was: Hobbits? Why was he trying to break a hobbit? I didn't even think he liked Tolkien that much! What does he have against hobbits?! (By the way, if you type the word 'Hobbit' enough times, it stops making sense.) I went back to read that again and got what he was trying to say, so that ended my confusion. Of course, when I told him about it, he assured me that he doesn't make a habit of breaking hobbits. He grinds them up and keeps them in the pantry.

Saturday I had another one of these moments. I was looking for SEC football scores online & I saw a list of games that were going on. I noticed that Auburn was set to play Ole Miss. I read it as "Olé Miss." I immediately wondered when Mexico got a college team.

*sigh*