Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A Post From the Salt Mines...

Greetings, readers! I address you today from my lovely office, situated on the "toppest" floor of the U.S. Space and Rocket Center Museum. Well, it isn't all that lovely, being a workroom and all, but it's nice and quiet and I don't have to talk to angry mothers, therefore it's heavenly.

I began working on Monday, where they just kind of threw me into the mix by sending me on a mission to a printing buisness to have some stuff laminated. After that, I came back and started the business of cleaning up the office. To give you an idea of what kind of job that has been, this room used to be a storage area for all of the suff no one needed or used. It was also dusty, and apparently someone had sprayed an adhesive indoors (a production NO-NO) because the dust that had accumulated on the shelves was sticky and gross. A huge plus about my office is that it has windows that line two walls and a door that goes out of the roof in case we have to use a spraypaint or something. A huge minus about where I am is that I have to climb three flights of stairs to get there. THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS. If nothing else, I'll achieve some massive calf muscles going back and forth every day. Yesterday I got kind of nervous because everyone left me alone most of the day, so I was kind of at a loss of what to do. I mean, I kept myself occupied, but I guess I'm so paranoid about not looking busy that I didn't realize that until I have a task, I'm pretty much on my own. My friends Jason (who is still extremely talented, no matter what anyone else says) and Roderick are still up here, so I have them to talk to, and there is a new guy named Rodney, who is extrememly nice, so I'm not lonely.

At any rate, I'm beginning to enjoy my job. I'm sure there will be days where I want to burn the place down (as is a pitfall of any job) but I'm hoping those days are few and far inbetween. I did find out something that made me rather nervous. I was under the impression that I would be physically making signs other people design. However, I was informed that because we are now exhibit design as well as publication and sign design, I will be given actual design work to do. Eeeek. I'm scared.

Well, I need to get back to work. : ) I'll post some pictures of my office when I get a chance to take them!

Friday, June 24, 2005

*The halleluja chorus blares from an unseen source. Sunbeams shine on the top of my head and light up the room. Doves and butterflies alight on my shoulders and I run happily through a field of poppies towards the blinding light of freedom.*

Free at last, free at last! Great God Almighty, Free at last!

Now, onward to a whole new set of headaches and problems! : ) Woo-Hoo!

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Well, I'm properly horrified. Last night I was in the kitchen persuing some rather common domestic chores when I hear a desperate voice from the living room call out to me.

"Spider! Big Spider!"

Now, I promise you that I'm not making fun of my husband, because he is honestly arachnophobic. He's not just scared of spiders, like me, he is terrified of them. To the point of all senses shutting down. Just want to get that out of the way so that you understand why I was the one with the spider killing New Balance sneaker.

Well, I am barefoot, so I run to find a shoe, and when I get into the living room I see this massive (or maybe not so much, but pretty darn big anyways) brown spider making it's way across the floor. I am terrified of finding a brown recluse in my house, so any time I see a brown spider, I try to get close enough to see what kind before I have to make any kind of contact with it. I couldn't tell what kind it was, but it didn't look like any spider I'd ever seen. The front half looked like a grass spider, but the back half looked lumpy and round, which isn't like a grass spider. So in a fit of bravery, which in my opinion is equaled only by Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, I bring down the sneaker and squash the heck out of it. The minute I bring the shoe up, dozens of little baby spiders pop off of it like popcorn and go skiddering in multiple directions. So I am screaming, trying to squash spiders roughly half the size of pin points with a shoe, and scaring the heck out of the dogs. I'm yelling for bug spray and all Steve can find is the spray we have to get bugs off of plants. I didn't know if it would work, but I went Lara Croft on those critters and started hopping around, spraying everything that moved. It was like a mini arachnid Hiroshima. I cleaned up everything I could, but I have this sneaking suspicion that one of the little hastareds got away and is planning revenge Godfather II style.

The thing I want to know is, how could that thing survive when we just had the house sprayed professionally that morning? The exterminators have some 'splainin to do.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Day Off!

You're probably wondering why I got a day off in the middle of training the new girl for her job. Well, a benevolent and angelic friend (who happens to have access to my time records) realized that I had built up enough time to have a personal day. However, if I didn't take it before next week, I would lose it, so I decided that Today would be a fabulous day to be a bum! Woo-Hoo! I've been sitting here for a while trying to figure out how I'm going to be both productive and lazy in one 24 hour period, and I haven't quite figured it out yet. I need to clean for the bug people to come and spray tomorrow, but I also want to lie on the couch and read all day. Ah well, I'll figure something out!

Last night we went to Steve's parents house for his dad's birthday dinner. It was great, as usual. We got Mr. Lee 10 bottles of salsa from some place in Texas he told us about. Well, we didn't get them from Texas, the salsa was made in Texas...anyway... He really liked them, so I'm glad. It's always fun when you don't get the polite "wow, um, that's great..." look from someone you've given something to. : )

I am kind of disappointed today. Josh's sister is getting married again, and her future mother in law had forgotten to book a preacher. Josh called and asked if I would officiate since I am legally ordained (which just means I have a licence to preside over weddings, as I would not condecend to become spiritually ordained since I don't believe in lady preachers and all). At any rate, I was all excited, but apparently mom-in-law found someone at the last minute who could do the wedding, so I don't get to. : ( I have a feeling that they don't think I"m really -legally- ordained. However, I did some research and my licence is good everywhere except for Missouri, West Virginia, and part of New England. Eh, oh well. At least the ULC can call me The Very Reverend Kelly Pratt. ; ) Heeheehee.

The girl I am training isn't getting along as well as I hoped. I'm not saying she won't get it in time, but it seems like she should be pretty much trained by now, but then again, I'm not very patient. She has only spoken on the phone to a customer twice and the rest of the time she has only been typing in the info. Oh well, I am doing my best. I do have to say one thing, and I'll go ahead and ask forgiveness for being catty. Bless her heart, I don't know if she shaves off her eyebrows or if she lost them in some industrial accident, but she draws them on every day. Now, I'm not saying that is a bad thing, but she draws them on as if she were circling her occular cavity, so they go straight across above her eyes and then curve down at the corners. She looks angry. In mentioning this to someone at church (and you know who you are) they said she was like Mr. Potato head "Putting on his Angry Eyes" a la Toy Story. Now I can't help but thinking of that while I'm talking to her. Also, when I'm trying to talk to her, all I'm doing is staring at her eyebrows. I'm helpless to stop. They are like magnets. It's like that scene in Austin Powers: Goldmember when he sees the guy with a big mole on his face and can't quit staring at it. I can't even make eye references anymore because I'll look at her when I do it. Not only that, but I have always had a habit of doodling eyes, and I can't do that anymore because I keep trying to draw what I wish her eyebrows looked like and I don't want her to know that's why I'm doing it. I have three pages of squiggles where I have to restrain myself from drawing nicely arched eyebrows. I swear, by the end of this week I am going to have to knock her down and use the brown Sharpie to fix them!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Just a breif note.

Sorry for the serious lack of updates lately. I've been training a new girl at work, who seems oddly familliar and very nice, except for the fact that she reads everything on my computer screen. She's already corrected my spelling on a private e-mail and I'm scared to open anymore e-mails or write anything while she's there because I don't know how she'll react if I inadvertantly say something she finds offensive. So, until I am no longer training, things will be a little slim here, Which is a shame because there have been things worth mentioning! Of course, now I can't remember any of them. As usual.

Oooh, I made some chocolate covered strawberries last night to take to the concert on the mountain tonight and they are calling to me.

Well, I must goes to get ready for my day. In case I don't get a chance to write again until next week: Happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful daddies out there!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


1) We went to see Josh's new school in Providence last night. I've got one word to describe it: Stepford. I'm serious. It's very beautiful, very ordered, and very clean. A veritable breeding ground for SoccerMoms, but otherwise a very nice place. Providence is actually a "Planned Community" and it has these beautiful homes and town houses with sort of a plantation/New Orleans feel to them, and it has it's own shops and resturaunts. However, it kind of makes me nervous. I saw a movie once about a place like this. It was about a planned community who used the schools to brainwash the children, and had hidden cameras doing survelliance in every home. It was very Big Brother. The neighborhood association ended up mutilating the family dog and trying to hold them hostage by locking the doors to the neighborhood and becoming self sufficent. Weird. At any rate, ethe school is lovely and Josh will make an excellent Vice Principal. He even has his own nifty little office and everything!

2) Yesterday we were busy, as usual, but when four o'clock came around, we had dead silence. It was eerie until I realized that four o'clock was the time set aside to read the Micheal Jackson verdict. I don't know whether or not to find it sad that everyone had take time out of their lives to hear it, or think it's funny. So, about the verdict? I'm glad for him. I never thought he did what they accused him of, but I kept an open mind and read the testemonies to make sure that I wasn't wrong. I found too many inconsistancies in what the mom and the kid said for me to believe it. I mean, sure, he's a circus freak, but not a child molester. I will give him one piece of advice, though. Micheal, keep the kids out of the bedroom!!! In fact, keep kids out of the wing of Neverland that has your bedroom in it. I don't care if you were accuitted this time, you need to take some precautions to keep this from happening again. Please. Because if I have to hear, read, or listen to another one of your weird, rabid fans cry and slobber over you and how the world is unfair to you because of your greatness, I'll have to go on a rampage.

3) We painted the primer on the garage door yesterday. Since we got our new windows, we are trying hard to do the update on the outside of the house. The primer is a greyish blue, as anyone who looked at my forehead last night can attest (had to scratch, forgot it was oil based), but the actual color of the door will be a dark blue. We are also painting the front door the same color eventually, and we will also repaint the stoop and railings a whole new color. As soon as we can get the brick painted, it will look like a different house all together!

4) The Emmys are this weekend! Go Lauren!

5) I have 8 days and counting before my new job starts. I've already got my bowl of M&Ms for the desk and my Napoleon Dynamite poster for the door. All I need now is my Captain Jack Sparrow poster and my Exacto blades and I'll be set. My cubie looks very bare and sad. I've been bringing stuff home by dribs and drabs, but there are still a bunch of little things to get. A girl who recently left gave me a giant cup full of straws because I was always borrowing them from her. I was trying to decide last Friday whether or not I wanted to take them with me, and I didn't think I did, but I didn't want to throw them away either. So I decided to do some arts and crafts. After constructing an eight or ten foot straw by taping them together and then making it into a hula hoop, I decided to make a hat. Now, in the process of making this hat (and I was taking calls the whole time, so I'm not a complete slacker) I put the skeleton of it on my head to get it out of the way. About that time, the CFO walks in and looks at me. I had two options, I could dive under my desk and hide, or I could play it off. I just smiled at him and pretended that it was normal for people to wear straws on their heads. Luckily he thought it was a party hat of some kind and he asked what we were celebrating. I just told him I was queen of the call center and he nodded and went on his way. I am one lucky freak.

6) We went to Steve's company picnic on Saturday. It was fun, but it rained the whole time. At least I got to go to the Botanical Gardens during the day while there were flowers blooming. Normally we only go when it's night time or during the winter when there are no flowers. It was beautiful. I also got to go into the Butterfly House where they breed the butterflies and they just fly all around you. It's weird, but as much as I hate bugs, I don't mind butterflies landing on me. None did, but it wasn't for lack of trying. Steve didn't like it, so he waited outside. We also had dinner with Steve's co-worker Casey and his girlfriend Mariah. It was a lot of fun, and we watched The Amityville Horror, the new version. It left me pretty cold except when he killed the dog, and that bothered me. I usually don't care how many people bite it during a movie as long as the pets live. Otherwise it didn't bother me that much. I thought it would, but since I found out the whole thing was a hoax to begin with, it didn't bother me. : P

7) The other day I was making a list to post on here that was "10 Things I've done that no one else has". I only got to number 6. I'm so boring. : (

8) I DO NOT recommend the Slim Fast soup in a cup. I had an emergency stash in my desk for those days before I get paid and am broke, but when I tried to eat it it was disgusting. I had to eat a Wet One to get the taste out of my mouth.

9) I wish I were in Key West right now under that palm tree on the beach. I wouldn't even have to get out in the water, just lie there and get a tan. I wonder if I could do it on my lunch break?

10) The lady who works as our switchboard operator has had some problems with anxiety lately, so she leaves for the doc today and comes back with a bottle of Xanax. She asked me if I would look up information about it for her, and to say the least, I'm scared. She already has an attitude problem, but apparently Xanax can cause hallucinations and aggrivated outbursts. I can only say, I hope that I'm not on the phone with her when one of those happen! : )

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I got so mad yesterday. I got a call from a woman in the UK that wanted a rule bent for her daughter. I told her we couldn't do it, and in the process of me trying to tell her what I could do, she started talking over me and not letting me finish what I was saying. We all know this infuriates me, but because she was a customer and I couldn't say anything about how rude she was being, it only made things worse. Not only that, but she kept repeating why she wanted the rule bent for her daughter and no matter how much I told her it wasn't possible UNTIL I asked the camp, and she still wouldn't shut up. I'm not sure why this woman rubbed me the wrong way, but by the time I was off of the phone with her, I was so mad that I was shaking. One of my supervisors came out and realized what happened and told me to take over the switchboard and then then go ahead and go on my lunch break. I thought I was fine when I came back to the phones, but I was still so irritated that I was rude to another customer. After that, I was fine. That woman severly rattled my chi. : P

I would like to request prayers for my Grandmother. She had hip problems and had to be placed in a nursing home, and seemed to be doing better, but she has come down with pneumonia (?) and is really sick right now. : (

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

So, Sunday we got to go to dinner at Shogun. That was so much fun! I'd seen commercials for that resturaunt since I was little, and had always wanted to go. Steve's company was having an appreciation dinner for the people who are working at the Test and Evaluation Days thingie, and Steve (plus significant other-don't you just love the PC-ness of it all?) was invited. I was scared that they wouldn't have anything I would want to eat, but the food was exellent. I even ate part of a zucchini! Go me! I also got to meet some of his co-workers and they were very nice. Now I want to go back!

As I said in the ill begotten last post, we got our new front windows yesterday. They look SO nice. In fact, it looks like a different house all together. Now we have to paint out front stoop and the garage door to complete the transformation! Now, if we can just get the actual house painted and the other window replaced, we'll be in business. Woo-Hoo!

I'm so tired. I don't know why, exactly, but I'm so tired that I got halfway to work and had no idea how I got where I was. Thank God for kenesthetic (?) memory. I have been making typing mistakes all morning too. I haven't been able to focus! I feel like I took a dose of Niquil before work. I just took some Excedrine, so this should be an interesting day. : )

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

This is sort of a drive by blogging...

I've only sat down long enough to dash off a note and tell you what is going on. In the interest of time, I will do this in a simple outline.

I. Monday
A. Sucked because:
a) I was the only call center agent there until 3:00 and I was training someone.
b) It was busy like I haven't seen in a long time.
c) I didn't get a lunch break
B. Didn't suck because:
a) Since I didn't take a lunch break I was promised to be able to leave early the next day.
b) I had KFC for dinner, and it was good.
c) Made more soap and watched SpiderMan
II. Tuesday
A. Another long and busy day, but not as bad because:
a) I wasn't trying to train anyone
b) I got to leave at 3:00
c) I was able to get my hair cut and I'm even cuter than usual ; )
d) Went to Chili's for dinner
III. We have our new windows installed in the front:
A: They look Awesome.
B: I will have pictures posted ASAP.
C. They make our house look 100% better than it did.
D. Has only one drawback which is:
a) Now we have to do a lot of other cosmetic work around so that the rest of the house is nice.
IV. We gave Bear a bath
A. Because he had been wallering
B: We found a new bite wound on his neck and it needed cleaning
C. Unfortunately he:
a) Doesn't like baths and he didn't cooperate
b) Shook all over the bathroom leaving puddles and fur everywhere.
c) Rolled all over the carpet and now has carpet fuzz in his fur.
V. This format is tedious because:
A. It seems like a lot of trouble to eliminate too much detail
B. I'm having to consult a book to remember how to do it.
C. I never liked doing this anyways.
D. Actually took more time than I meant to use.
VI. I'm going to go to bed.
VII. Good Night
A. Sleep tight
B. Plesant dreams

Oh yeah, I also saw this quote and got a chuckle... "Come to the dark side...we have cookies."
I'm not sure why I find this funny, but I do.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I have found a wonderful thing at Target. It's a Wolfgang Puck Gourmet Latte, but get heats itself up! I know that sounds crazy, but it's really cool! You don't need a microwave or a coffee maker! Whatever it is is called OnTech, and I hope it catches on! I'm just nerdy enough to be fascinated, and the drink is pretty good too. I hope they make hot chocoate like this one day. Although I have to ask, why am I drinking coffee at 10 PM?

I have been trying a new hobby today. Hobby Lobby is having a half off sale on lots of stuff, and I decided to try my hand at making soap. Well, not actually making it, but melting it and pouring it into molds. It is so much fun, but now I have a billion little bars of glycerine soap in various flavors and colors. I'm going to have to take seven showers a day for a few months to get rid of it all! : ) You'll be getting soap for Christmas!
A month! I've got to stay here in my current job for another MONTH! I do not understand this at all. I know the call center is short staffed, but the design department has been short staffed for almost two months, and that is much more complicated than just having a qeue line that you can clear out by the end of the day. I don't know what they're going to do. Can they give my job to someone else?
The thing is, I'm not brave enough to ask anyone to change this! I knew I would be working for at least another two weeks, but now I've got to stay longer and I am helpless and confused and NOT happy about it.
Otherwise, I don't care because I still get to stop being a call center agent in a month!!!