Thursday, February 25, 2010


3 Old Friends

The Unbearable Sadness of the Gummi Bear

"Bearly" Listening
OK, I'm much better today! Sorry about that.

It's just, when I walk into something like what I overheard yesterday, it gets me all ragey. You know, justice for the little man and all that.

Whew! I'm good! Move along! Nothing to see here...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I AM VEXED!!!!!!

I really wish I could just not care about stuff when it's none of my business. Seriously. I spend a lot of time worrying about things I can't do anything about.

The good news is, I am able to keep from getting actively involved in other people's issues, but if they are friends of mine and I care about them, I can't help but wish that I could do something to make things better.

I know people who simply don't care about other people's problems as long as it doesn't directly affect them, but I'm not built that way. I don't think anyone who honestly cares about other people can be that way. Ugh. I just wish I could be things sometimes.

I can't mention what this is about because it honestly isn't any of my business. I have no dog in this race. I am simply a bystander who can see it going on. However, someone I like a great deal is being treated very, very wrongly by someone who has NO right to do what they are doing and I wish I could just, oh, I don't know... I'd like to beat the everloving shit out of them is what I'd like to to. I'd like to just take a stick and beat this person until he cried. I could do some severe damage to this person even if I didn't touch him, but I won't. I've got to sit this one out. I'm too mad and I'll regret anything I do or say at this point. It just isn't fair.

I am Kelly's seething mass of righteous indignation.

PS: Sorry about the language, Aunt Brenda.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Saturday was an interesting day, since we were tasked with fixing an opening in the fence that surrounds our property. Whee!

We began this adventure by visiting our local Tractor Supply Co. for fencing materials. That was lots of fun for two people who didn't know what the heck they were doing, but we didn't spend too much time wondering around. Thank goodness for that! We actually found the kind of fencing we needed right away, but it was in a giant roll that, as a whole, cost $200 and the store doesn't sell it by the yard. My dad used to be able to buy it in sections, but we didn't see anything like that. We also weren't going to buy a $200 dollar roll of fencing when we only needed 4 feet of it, either. We found a much smaller roll of some kind of fencing that was much, much cheaper and got that. Sure, it wasn't meant to be used as cattle fencing, but we decided that if 3 strands of barbed wire can keep cows from getting out, this stuff would be just as good.

Surprisingly, it wasn't hard to do. Mom told me we just needed to fill in the gap behind the swinging gate and then lift off the gate itself. Steve and I managed to get the fencing stretched across, nailed in the staples, and wrapped the remaining wire around the fence that was already there. I even repaired a bit near the gate that had pulled away. We weren't able to remove the gate after all, because the hinges were rusted beyond anything WD-40 could handle. We're just going to leave it. It's funny, but I realized while walking the fence row and filling in the gap that all my jewelry making and crocheting I do actually helped me to understand how the fence was put together. I'm not saying that I could just go out and fence in an entire field on my own or anything, but I'm confident that if I need to fix the fence again, I won't have any problems. The rest of the fence looks kind of sad. Papa would be PISSED if he could see that. He never let it get that droopy. Oh, well. Maybe one day I'll go back and fix it, but it will be a big job.

I also placed my No Trespassing signs. It made me feel mean to do so, but apparently I need to cover my bases in case of lawsuits. It turns out, people can sue you for their own stupidity. I even took my camera along to take pics of where I hung the signs in case they are removed like the last set were. Every time I hung one up, I felt like the guy from "Open Range" who hated the "free grazers." The whole day was a learning experience.


1) Attaching cattle fencing to metal fence posts is very much like crocheting a Front Post Double stitch, but without the extra loop.
2) My property gets very wet and smooshy in the south west corner and along the back fence row.
3) Cows poop more than any other animal on earth. They also poop wherever they feel like it, so you have to watch every step you take.
4) I'm not too old to climb over the gate. Yet.
5) Although I'm not to old to climb the gate, I would still rather not have people see me do it.
6) Fences to not make good neighbors, but they do keep bad neighbors out!
7) The people behind us once owned a pet bear. A BEAR?! How could I not have known that?
8) It's ironic that I have a pair of boots that are made for work such as I did that day, but I can not wear them to do fence work because I wear them as regular shoes.
9) Baby cows are adorable and curious, but momma cows will end your life if they think you are too close to their babies.

Monday, February 22, 2010


Now the stone house on the lake front is finished and the
workmen are beginning the fence.

The palings are made of iron bars with steel points that
can stab the life out of any man who falls on them.

As a fence, it is a masterpiece, and will shut off the rabble
and all vagabonds and hungry men and all wandering
children looking for a place to play.

Passing through the bars and over the steel points will go
nothing except Death and the Rain and To-morrow.

~Carl Sandburg

Monday, February 15, 2010


1) I had a lovely, low key birthday. At first I thought all of my plans for the day would have to be scrapped because it was snowing really hard when we first got up to get ready for church. We were supposed to go to Mom's house for lunch (and cake...don't forget cake) which I had been looking forward to. We left for church and about halfway there the snow started coming down so hard and fast that the roads went from clear to a mess of slush and snow in a matter of minutes, so we had to turn around and go home. Weirdly enough, about an hour later the snow was gone from the roads and we made it in for services, at least. We also made it to mom's just fine and everything was so nice. She made me homemade spaghetti and the traditional coconut cake I always ask for. The Daytona NASCAR race was on, so I lost a couple of family members to that for a while, but that's OK. There is usually a race on during my B'day lunch every year, so I'm quite used to the indifference of my nephews by now. :) At least my brother in law didn't jump up every 5 minutes like he used to! Gotta love that! Sara stopped by the night before to drop of a giant chocolate I think it's an apple. I haven't opened it yet because I'm just kind of admiring it before I destroy it in a frenzy of M&M riddled debauchery. So very sweet of her! Mr. Lee also took me out to dinner and I got lots of birthday wishes from friends, so it wasn't bad at all. Of course, the last time I had a nice birthday, the rest of the year went to hell, but let's all hope that doesn't happen again this time. That sounds like a terrible way to look at life but you people have no idea how true that is for me. You. Just. Don't. Know.

2) I was an idiot on Saturday. Steve had to work, so I was home all by myself and bored out of my mind. I had been doing laundry, but that isn't exactly very exciting, and there was nothing at all worth watching on TV. That afternoon, while it was still light outside, I decided to buy the PPV movie Paranormal Activity. I had wanted to see it, but even the previews were scary, so I had been putting it off and putting it off. I decided that it couldn't possibly be all that scary, so I decided to turn it on while I was crocheting. Honestly, the first hour or so wasn't that bad. It was creepy, to be sure, but I've seen worse. However, the last ten minutes freaked my sh*t out. It was like the people who made the move were just lulling you into a sense of complacency. You know: "Ooooh, a scary noise" or "Oooooh, the door moved." It was like watching a scene from Ghost Hunters. Then the end comes and it was like "Oh, let's plunge you headlong into your worst nightmare and then leave you without a resolution so that you have to turn on every light in the house and refuse to move from your comfy chair until Steve gets home!" Seriously, I had to go to the bathroom at one point, but I was too scared to get out of my chair! I finally made myself get up, but the ending of that movie was too much for me. Demons are real and I am going to avoid movies about them from now freaking on. Don't even let me get into trying to sleep after that...

3) Here is a picture of what is possibly the best snowman I've ever seen!
This is Han Snowlo in Carbonite, courtesy of the Amazing McGee family! How awesome is this? I'm ashamed Steve and I didn't think of it first!

4) When I went to Mom's house yesterday, I was wearing my contacts instead of my glasses over there for the first time ever. I stopped in the kitchen and asked my mom and my sister "Notice anything different about my face? Eh? EH?" I was actually only kidding because I figured it would be obvious, but they just got blank looks on their faces. They were like "You're wearing a hat?" "No makeup today?" I told them I wasn't wearing glasses and they got all surprised! I didn't hallucinate having to wear them for 17 years did I? When I told them about the contacts, my youngest nephew looked at me and said "You wore glasses, Aunt Kelly?" Hello?! We got a good laugh out of that, but when we sat down for lunch, my brother-in-law looked at me and said "Where's your glasses?" I will never understand the way my family thinks. Oy.

5) Seth, the youngest nephew, also had this little gem to say when we were talking during lunch: "Women don't need cars, just like they don't need to drive. There ain't no road between the kitchen and the couch, after all." I may be misquoting, but that was the gist of it. I'm know he was just repeating something he had heard (from his father it turned out) but I told him I hoped he said that to someone one day and they beat the snot out of him and put it on YouTube. I weep for the future.

Friday, February 12, 2010

This is so cute I threw up a rainbow! :)

This is the Japanese version of "Walk Don't Run." I love the bunny's squinty concentration eyes!

1) I've figured out why I'm having trouble with my contacts. It's my office. Either the heater (which blows cold air) is drying out my eyes, there is a de-humidifier somewhere in this place that is affecting humidity up here, or there is so much mold and dust flying around the office that I'm going to be taken over and controlled by single-celled vermin and the only side effect (other than evil) is itchy eyes.

2) Speaking of my eyes... I told you I was having trouble with my new glasses. I thought it was because I was just getting used to the new prescription or the slight progressive lens. I even had this fear that I had said "number 1" was better than "number 2" when they were flipping through the exam lenses, when in fact, "number 2" was better. That wasn't it at all!! I tried wearing them and it was awful. I was getting nauseated and dizzy, and driving with them was like playing Mario Cart through a blurry television screen. I finally took them back to the doc's office and asked if thy would take a look at them. It turns out that my left lens had a wave in it. They are going to fix it for free. I was just relieved that I hadn't had a stroke.

Yuck. I have to go down to my property this weekend (weather permitting, of course) and hang some "No Trespassing" signs along the fence. I don't like to do that, but of course, I also don't want anyone going out there, getting hurt, and suing me because they are too stupid to stay off (or too stupid to keep their kids off of) of property that doesn't belong to them. My mom's husband had already hung a sign, but either the elements or the neighbors tore it down.

My sister told me I need to remove the gate behind the house and add fencing to the gap. Because I know all about fencing. Because I've hung fences all of my life. Yep...

She also told me, with her never failing grasp of the vulgar that "You need to tell them white trash neighbors to get their crap off of your property." That's going to be fun. I'll get to approach people I don't know and literally tell them to get off of my lawn.

Being a grown up is fun! FUN!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

You've heard me talk about it, but now you can see it for yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: The General.

This is Steve's new and wonderful car! A 2009 Dodge Challenger that we've named The General. You know, 'cause we name cars in our family. Don't judge us. OK, granted, if we were going to name it The General, it should be a Charger like the Duke boys had, but we couldn't resist. We also haven't figured out how to slide in and out of the windows, but hopefully we have time to learn all of that later.

Anyways, this is the car I haven't been able to drive yet. I think I've almost shamed Steve into letting me drive it! It hasn't happened yet, but hopefully it will one of these days. :) My guess is that once it gets scratched or something, I'll be able to get my hands on it. Honestly, at this point I'm paranoid about driving it, so I'm not too devastated. I'm weird about touching, driving, using anything owned by someone who is particular about their stuff, because with my luck I'll somehow destroy it, and Steve is really particular about his stuff. Also, it's easier not to fuss about it, you know?

I think I've unraveled the mystery behind the real reason he won't let me drive it, though. I have noticed a strange phenomenon that surrounds the car almost everywhere it goes. I've always thought of cars being one of those things that attract women. I guess because it is portrayed like that in the media, but this car doesn't attract women...oh no. Ceci n'est pas une Chick Magnet, indeed. This car is a Dude Magnet. I'm not kidding and I'm not even exaggerating. Policemen, men we know, men we've never met, my co-workers out on their smoke breaks, guys driving next to us, the COO of my company; they all drool over this car. We get stopped out in parking lots, stores, and church to answer questions. We even got extra special service from a waiter at a restaurant we went to because he saw us drive up in it and he wanted to ask questions about it. It's actually fairly funny. I've had to learn things about this car so that I can answer questions myself. Don't get me wrong, the car is nice, but the only other thing I've ever known this many random guys to be fascinated with is boobs, and they don't have nearly as many questions about those as they do this car. Possibly the combination of the two is just too powerful a force to be unleashed on an unsuspecting world? I don't know. Heeheehee.

It's really a great car, though. It has beautiful lines and I like the vintage style of it. I kind of wish it had the HEMI engine so that it would sound bad-ass, but I think the trade off of a V-6 for better gas mileage makes it all OK.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


I grew up in a very small town. I'm not sure you can even call where I lived a "town" exactly. I lived on a cattle farm on the outskirts of the small town, Athens, AL, if you want to get technical. Because of that, any time we went into Athens proper, we referred to it as "Goin' to town." Specifically, we called going to Wal-Mart "Goin to town." I know that probably sounds silly if you didn't grow up in a place similar to where I did. But, I digress.

Goin' to town was an event. It isn't like now, where I live a literal few minutes from just about everything I need and will just jump in the car and go. Going to town took preparation. We put on nicer clothes, fixed our hair and make-up and made sure we were decent before going to town. It was just the way we did it back then.

These days, I still have the habit of making myself decent before heading out to Wal-Mart or Target or wherever, but I'm not as scrupulous as I used to be. If I'm in the middle of a project and need something, it's likely I'll just slap on lip-gloss and a hat, make sure I'm decently clothed and go get what I need. I'm careful, you see.

However, there have been rare days when I've really, really needed something and didn't have the time to even reach for the lip gloss. I've gone to Wal-Mart in my PJ's, or in clothes that I have pulled out of the hamper, with crazy hair and no makeup. These are the days that worry me.

As careful as I am about not looking homeless, even when going to Wal-Mart, I've got this fear that one day, when I'm in the middle of some crisis when I need something badly enough that I have abandoned all pretenses of civilized behavior, someone is going to take my picture and I'm going to end up on People of Wal-Mart.

Monday, February 08, 2010


1) The weather is going insane up here right now! It was supposed to be cloudy and 50 degrees today, but it's currently snowing and sleeting on us right now. I'm glad we brought the dogs back in this morning. Maybe it will warm up a bit by the end of the day. I hope so! I like snow and everything, but I'd rather like snow from the comfort of my house, and not from my office.

2) Well, I managed to embarrass myself yesterday. I was supposed to sing during the morning services, and I picked a song I've sung at least once a year (sometimes more) for the past 17 years. Needless to say, I know this song inside and out. I also had a bad headache before the services started, so I took the medicine that I had in my purse, Excedrine. I timed it quite badly, because the caffeine kicked in right before I stepped on the stage and my hands started shaking really badly. I think it was because I hadn't eaten anything that morning, but whatever it was, it was bad. I was so hyped up that I forgot words to the song halfway through! I managed to cover it up and keep going, but I was so embarrassed. :( I am never singing in public again! Well, at least I'll avoid caffeine before I sing. *shame*

3) Steve broke the internet last week at work! OK, so it wasn't the whole internet, but his company lost a file server and their e-mail. I didn't see him for almost 3 days (wed-fri) because he was at work with one of the guys from St. Louis trying to reinstall everything. Unfortunately, the reinstall failed twice, and each time it took anywhere from 8 - 11 hours to even get to the point where it would fail. So, lots of fun last week. It was very quiet at my house. Luckily, at the 11th hour, they managed to fix the issues! Hooray for Geeks!

4) I watched about 20 minutes of the Super Bowl so that I could see the commercials last night. I didn't see many of them, but the ones I did see made me wonder exactly what sort of demographic they were trying to reach. If I am to assume that answer, according to the commercials, the Super Bowl is watched by men who are completely owned by their wives and/or significant other, who apparently have no testicles that they can call their own, and who don't wear pants. Hmmmm. I watched the Puppy Bowl instead. :)

5) Speaking of the Puppy Bowl, I think that the kitten half time show must have emotionally scarred me or something. I don't remember what I was dreaming about, but Steve woke me up because he was laughing hysterically. I asked him what happened, and he said that I was talking in my sleep and had said "I was sorry, that it was because we were using the first one I found. Then I said, “If I had found a bag full of a thousand kittens, we wouldn’t be doing this. We would be separating kittens.” I have NOOOOOOOOO idea what that was all about. :)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010


Ahhhh, Lost. Nobody understands our love.

OK, well, that's not entirely true. Quite a few people understand it, but that doesn't make it any less special! Right? RIGHT?! :)

No, I'm not crazy. Lost came back for it's final season last night and the opening show was AWESOME! One part of me feels as if I should be ashamed for being this into a television show, and the other part of me just told the first part to shut up and go sit in a corner. There were so many people who originally died earlier in the seasons back for the first show. Granted, they had very limited cameo roles, but at least I got to see "Chaaaaalie' again. I love that little hobbit.

Anyways, it was definitely worth the long wait and I'm excited to see what is going to happen!

I'm also listening to the audio novel of the book "Columbine" by Dave Cullen. I kind of picked it out by chance when I was browsing the audio book site I have a subscription with. It's a book about the school massacre and some of it is very hard to listen to, but it's quite fascinating. It's more of a very detailed analysis of the event, the killers, the victims and such than just a retelling of what happened. I was unaware that a lot of what we were told through the media wasn't true. I also did some searching on the web so that I could have faces to go with the names I was hearing and found a site dedicated to what happened. It, also, is quite detailed and gives a lot of details about the people involved. Some of it is just heartbreaking. I don't know if I can say I'm enjoying it exactly, but it is very interesting.

Monday, February 01, 2010


(I'm beginning to think I should rename my blog that.)

1) Last week I picked up a travel sized bottle of a shampoo I'd never heard of. BioSilk or something like that. I like to try new stuff, so why not, right? The shampoo is amazing. It must be made with unicorn tears and mermaid scales or something because it does things that shouldn't be possible with coarse, heavy, stick-straight hair like mine. I have more bad hair days than good these days (which is why I've started wearing hats more often) so I decided to go and buy a whole bottle of the miracle shampoo! When I found it on a shelf, a mid-sized bottle cost about $42. FOURTY-TWO DOLLARS! Now I know for certain that it's made from unicorn tears and mermaid scales because I can't imagine any earthly ingredients that could justify shampoo costing that much. However, after seeing my hair this morning, I'm tempted. So help me, I'm tempted...

2) The two best songs to listen to while working out are: Jai Ho, from the Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack and Rubberneckin' (Paul Oakenfold Remix), which I got from the Fred Clause Soundtrack. Worst Songs: Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy, by Big & Rich (I think) and So Long & Thanks for All the Fish, from the most recent Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy movie. Just FYI.

3) I was listening to the Rubberneckin' song when I wrote #3, and I had to stop and chair dance. It's just THAT good. Now I'm listening to my theme song. Good stuff.

4) Steve's been watching old school Dr. Who episodes lately and I think it's slowly killing my will to live. I love the new Dr. Who, but the old ones are not so great. At least he's watching the Tom Baker ones, because I kind of like the Fourth Doctor. He's unsettling. I think it's mostly the bad special effects (seriously, bubble wrap looks like bubble wrap and isn't scary) that do it for me. Almost all of their monsters look like something I could make out of scraps from my office. If you watch closely, every time they need to show a rocket taking off, they show the footage of the Saturn V launching. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so familliar with it, I guess, but it's hard to believe that the Sontaran race has a NASA on their planet. Takes me right out of the story, it does. :)

5) So long and thanks for all the fish!