Monday, August 28, 2006


Greetings! I'll go ahead and let you know, this update is not going to be all that interesting. Since time apparently ceased to flow in it's normal channels last week, I mostly made up sleep! It was lovely.

Friday Steve and I got home and ordered in dinner. He had rented some movie called "Hackers" which was really not that great, in my humble opinion. Angelina Jolie was in it along with the guy who played Shaggy in the live action Scooby-Doo movies, but they were the only ones I knew for sure. I suppose in 1995, the computer tricks that they used wouldn't have looked so ridiculous and dated. However, with the technology we have today, it ended up looking kind of dumb. Oh well! I ended up finishing the John Updike book I bought a couple of weeks ago and falling asleep. Of course, then I woke up at 3:15 in the grip of some kind of pointless panic attack and didn't get back to sleep again until almost 5! I'm not even sure what he panic attack was about this time! I hate that!

Saturday I had planned to do some Christmas shopping! Of course, it's kind of hard to get into the spirit when it's 900 degrees outside, but I got a little bit done. I also had to go get groceries, so that was exciting. :) Did you know that Target doesn't have their deli section anymore?! I wanted chicken fingers, but they only had a tiny little box with 3 of them in it in the chicken warmer thing! How dare they! 3 chicken fingers isn't enough to take home to my house! What were they thinking? Anyway...Steve had been working at church all morning and was doing yard work when I got home from Target. He had hoped I'd be able to help him when I got back, but no dice! *Evil Grin* I still had to eat lunch and get ready to head out to Athens again. I ended up falling asleep on the couch for a while, but we weren't that late. My family was having a get together at my parent's house so that we could all be together to go to my Grandmother's house and get out the stuff we didn't want sold at the Estate sale.

It was kind of sad, this little party we had. My Grandmother had wanted everyone to get together at her house again for home made ice cream, and it was supposed to be on Saturday. Unfortunately she passed away Monday morning, but we still got together in her honor. It made my dad cry. :( However, once we got passed the being sad, we had a good time. All of the little Martins were there. My cousin Scott had his 4 kids and Michael had his son. Add that with Angie's kids and that made 7 kids ranging from 2-12 running around. It's one of those moments that make me happy that I only have two dogs! Heeheehee. Nah, they are sweet little kids, really. Somehow I got put in charge of taking their picture and as we all know, I have zero knowledge on how to handle children. My uncle Mickey had to help me round them up, but we got the picture made. I think my mom did that to me on purpose! I know for a fact, everyone was laughing at me! It's a good thing I love my family. We finally went down to Grandmother's house and I was shocked that it looked so empty. I suppose it's a good thing that Dad and his brother are not holding on to everything for too long, but it seemed to be almost too quickly dissassembled for my taste. I already knew what I wanted to take, and luckily no one else wanted it. I had mentioned before that she had all kind of costume jewelry, so I got that. I also wanted the big box of buttons that she had. It might sound strange that I wanted this box of buttons, and no one but my family will ever really understand why they are important. She kept a cigar box full of the most amazing buttons from everything you could think of. When I was little, I used to take the box and play with them for hours. The parents also used the buttons when they would play cards, instead of using money. It was just one of those things that you could take a look at and immediately think of my Grandmother. So when I mentioned that I wanted these buttons, no one else seemed interested in taking them home, but they helped me look for them and we couldn't find them! We tore the house apart trying to find those buttons, but we never found that box. The whole family got upset that we couldn't find those buttons, but Dad said he'd tell the people tagging stuff for the estate sale to be on the look out for them. Hopefully they will turn up. We found a lot of other interesting things in our crazy button search. I ended up with two boxes of things that no one else wanted. I couldn't help it. I am extremely sentemental and I love antiques. I love to own things with a history, especially things that have family history. If I could have taken everything in her house home, I would have, but of course that would have been silly. I just can't stand the thought of someone coming in who didn't know anything about her and taking her stuff away! However, some things just have to be done, I suppose. I do have quite a few of her things now, and my parents let me have her engagement and wedding rings, the wedding band I now wear with my own set. I don't think I could have stood that going to strangers, so it's a good thing! : ) Now I just have to find a place for all of this stuff!

Sunday was another regular sunday except that we didn't have lunch with my parents. My mom was exhausted after this week and didn't want to cook, and Steve and I have had to fill up the car two times since last Monday and it needs more gas again, so we decided to just stay at our house. Once we got home, we slept. Oh, how we slept. It was wonderful. There is something about a Sunday afternoon nap that just makes you feel so cozy. I'm even tempted so say that you sleep deeper and better on Sunday afternoons that most any other time you take a nap, but don't quote me. :) Sunday night we went back to church and we had an ice cream social afterwards. There was so much ice cream and cake and cookies, you wouldn't believe it. I didn't actually eat any of the ice cream, though. I just wasn't in the mood, if you can dig that. However, some wonderful lady made a crock pot of homeade fudge sauce that was better than any kind of topping I'd ever had before. I almost didn't try any, seeing that I didn't have any ice cream, but after hearing everyone raving about it, I decided to try it. I was going to dip a plastic spoon in and taste it, but I ended up getting busy washing dishes and never got the chance. It wasn't until we were cleaning up that someone brought the ladle to the counter and laid it aside to be washed. I picked it up off of the little plate it was on and couldn't help myself. I just started licking it off of the ladle. It wasn't one of those dainty little sauce ladles, either, it was a soup ladle! It was WONDERFUL! I was just standing there, licking the thing with careless abandon, my toes tingling, when I got caught. One of the other kitchen ladies started laughing and pointed me out to the preacher, who started laughing too. I tried to wipe mt face and realized that not only was the chocolate all around my mouth, it was on my nose and everything! You know, I'm not ashamed and I'd do it again! It was that good!

Well, that was my weekend! Hope you had a great one!

Friday, August 25, 2006


Monday Steve and I had to get up earlier than ever. I think combined, we might have slept for about three hours total. I was nervous, he was nervous for me, and both of us were excited about the day ahead. We had planned on leaving at exactly 2:00 am, because the lady at registration told us that everyone was going to have to be back there by 5:00 am Monday morning because of some "activities" before the auditions. We didn't end up leaving that early, but we were still down in Brimingham and in line just before 4:00 am.

Since I didn't have any idea how it was going to work, I was worried because we seemed to be much further back in line than I thought we would be. We were once again jammed among throngs of people, all sharing the same space and air. Luckily, I had remembered to bring my little hand held fan this time, so when I started getting hot, I just turned on the little sucker and cooled off. Unfortunately, once we got in line, the lack of sleep began to sneak up on me, and I would kind of fade out while fanning myself. My head started to loll, and the fan ended up getting twisted up in my hair! Twice! The second time it was so wrapped around the blades that I ended up having to break my hair on one side to get it out. Ouch, much! Steve, plus the two guys in front of us from Louisiana, found this to be great entertainment! Me, not so much. The sun wasn't even up yet, but it was already hot and humid outside. Everyone was sweaty and uncomfortable, plus we had been standing in one spot for several hours. Had I not been so excited, I might have lost my sense of humor about the whole situation. :)

I could already tell that my throat was getting dry, and my allergies were just on the verge of clogging me up! I should have known something like that would happen with me standing outside for so long, but I didn't think about it before hand. We were told not to bring anything to eat or drink on the sheet of directions that we had been given that Saturday. I thought it was because they would be using video from before the auditions on the show and didn't want food and drinks that weren't supplied by their sponsers on camera. This meant that I hadn't had anything to eat or had anything to drink except for some water before we left the house earlier that day! Needless to say, I was getting dehydrated just standing there, and that didn't do any good to my throat. At some point around 8:00 am or so, the line up ahead of us suddenly emptied. The huge line was seperated by three sets of barracades. Steve and I were in the second section. We kept waiting for them to let us follow the first half of the line, but we never moved. We all started getting kind of antsy until we realized that the producers in charge were opening up the barracades behind us and filing everyone in our section to the set of stairs at the front of the BJCC. The first part of the line that we had seen empty out earlier was already sanding on the stairs. It was as if they were positioning us up for the biggest class photo in the world! Actually, that wasn't too far off of the mark.

They were taking as many people as would fit on the stairs and in front of the stairs, so that they could film some footage of all of us screaming and acting crazy for the Birmingham segment of the show in the fall. There were literally thousands of people around us. Steve and I were about 6 steps from the bottom of the staircase, stuck behind these two slightly annoying teenage girls who kept fluffing their giant blonde hair and squeeling about everything. By this point, the sun had risen over the building, making the temp shoot up and the body heat around us oppressive. We really just stood there for a long time while everyone who would fit was crammed into the space. The producer, who's name I can't remember (but he was kind of an ass) had a megaphone and kept talking to all of us like we were third graders on a class outing. We had to keep our eyes on him as he told us what his hand signals would mean, and what we were supposed to do when the camaera was rolling. He also introduced the "Sniper" cameras on the roof of the hotel next to the civic center, and told us what they were there for. Finally, we got down to business. I'm assuming that I now know what it's like to be an extra on a movie set from what we did that day. Mr. Producer-man kept us very quiet until he needed us to scream our heads off, or yell something like "Welcome to Birmingham!" or "I'm the next American Idol!" or even "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" A lot of us weren't really screaming because, come on, we were about to go in and sing fer cryin' out loud! You can't scream for an hour and then go inside and sing! So, I did a lot of pretending to scream and waved my arms around like crazy. Even Steve got into it and he jumped around and screamed like crazy. It was a lot of fun. I guess we had been out there on the stairs for about an hour when the crowd parted and Ryan Seacrest came strolling through the crowd of screaming, adoring (koff koff) fans to do his bit in front of the camera. He's kind of orange in person from what I could see. The lady behind us was almost wetting her pants when she saw him. It was kind of embarrassing! Well, we screamed and waved to the camera for another 1/2 hour and they finally let us go inside. By this point, I was exhausted, nervous, dehydrated and had gotten a tickle in my throat, but we pressed on. I found out as we were going in that we could have had drinks or food outside of the arena, but they didn't want us bringing in outside stuff when we went in! Wow, thanks for making that clear, American Idol Folks! I was afraid that we would only get to audition in the order we got inside the arena, but fortunately we got to take the seats on the tickets that we had been given. They had "Sweet Home Alabama" blaring on the loud speakers, over and over. Steve and I finally got settled and I tried to repair the damage being outside and sweaty had caused my face!

Once everyone got settled, Mr. Producer came back in and told us we still had a few things to do before audition time. They were going to use something called a "Jib Camera" (see, camera on some kind of crane-looking thing) to film the crowd in the arena screaming and cheering some more. This was done. The whole bottom section of the arena was filled and some of the seats in the upper mezzanine were as well. We all screamed and waved our arms and jumped up and down like lunatics. It was so much fun! Amazingly, I wasn't nervous, just excited! Normally, I'd be about to throw up by this point, but I was having too much fun. Then Mr. Producer told us that he needed us to sing "Sweet Home Alabama", in harmony, accapella for the camera. The camera pretty much stayed on the section that Steve and I were in the whole time we sang, and we sang for what seemed like hours. It was not that long, of course, but geez. I never thought I'd get tired of that song, but I came pretty darned close that day! You'll have to watch the Birmingham segment of American Idol this next season and see if you can spot Steve and I. Even he was singing and clapping! I couldn't believe it! : )

Finally....finally, finally, we got to start the auditions! They gave us the ground rules and the procedure. They would call us down by section (fortunately, Steve and I were sitting in one of the first 5 sections that would be auditioning). We would give our release forms to the production assistants and form a line. Then we would be seperated into groups of 4 and then sent to one of the 13 judges tables lined up on the arena floor. Each table had 4 lines of 4 people in front of them. ***I'll stop here for a second to go ahead and tell you that Simon, Paula and Randy were not there. You have to get through at least two rounds of auditions, possibly more, to get to see them. What we got were some rather tired and bored looking producers and assistants who did the first rounds.*** The producers then went on to tell us that there was a song that they heard A LOT. Not just often, but A LOT. He warned us that if we were going to sing it, we'd better know how to sing it better than Etta James, becaus they were so tired of hearing it that they would have to be really blown away by our performance of it to let anyone though. It was the song "At Last", which is a beautiful song, but you DO have to be able to sing well to pull that song off! As soon as this came out of Mr. Producer's mouth, some girl in the front row burst into tears! Apparently that was the song she had picked to sing! Mr. Producer had to go and apologize to her...and surprisingly he was much less of an ass for the rest of the time. I bet he felt like crap! I hope he did, anyway! We were also told that if we did NOT make it past the first round of auditions, we had to leave immediately. We were not allowed back into the arena and we had to surrender our gray arm bands to the trash so that we couldn't somehow get back in line. We had to leave quickly and quietly and meet our party outside and leave. We FINALLY got to start.

Section after section was taken to the tables and only 2 or three people were given passes onto the next round. One chick, whom I named "Half-Naked Girl" tried to beat the system and get back into line to audition again. Fortunatly someone recognized her and she was escorted out of the building. Steve made a good point. If you are going to dress (or not dress, as the case was) like a Hawaiian hooker, you are going to be conspicuous, so don't try to do anything stupid! She was wearing a skin tight tank top and a hot pink sarong skirt that was only, and I mean only, tied at the hip. A strong wind could have come along, and the whole world would have been her gynocologist! Yuck! We saw people dressed in freaky clothes, doing freaky dances, and all other manner of craziness. Some of them were passed on to the next round, but presumably to be put on the blooper show everyone likes so much.

Then it was time for our section. We were led down to the arena floor and lined up. We slowly walked towards the guy who seperated us into our groups and we walked across the floor in front of thousands of people to the table we were directed to. I was given table number 7! Lucky number and I wasn't even nervous! Go me! So me and my three other group mates got in line and slowly made our way to the table. Not one person in front of us was passed on to the next round! Finally, there we were, standing in front of the judges. I still felt excited, and really not that nervous. Maybe a little, but not the kind of nervous I probably should have felt. The people in my line were (left to right) Harry Potter Kid, Me, Dark Haired Girl, and Black Guy. We only had about 10 seconds to wow the judges, and we were more than ready! Black Guy went first and did a great job! Dark Haired Girl went next and sounded okay, but not great. Then it was my turn!

I took my step forward and they asked me what I was going to sing! I had picked the Dixie Chick's song "Tonight, The Heartaches On Me" because I love the way it starts out and is suitable for my vocal range. I took a deep breath and started my song. When the first note came out of my mouth, my nerves exploded! I was out of tune! I couldn't sing! I completely bombed! It was like my brain was saying: "Where am I? Who am I? What am I doing here? Sing? What does that mean?!" However, my mouth kept on trying to sing the song. He probably let me sing longer than he meant to before holding up his hand and saying, "Thank you." and moving on to Harry Potter Kid. I was both appalled and trying so hard not to laugh. It was so funny! I couldn't believe myself. I know I can sing! I can sing really, very well! How could I get to this point and screw up so badly?! After Harry Potter Kid got done, the producer motioned us all forward and informed us that he would not be recommending any of us for the next round. We all got our things, had our bracelets removed, and went outside. Steve finally came out with my stuff and we got into the car and went on our way.

You know, for about 30 minutes, I was disappointed. Not just because I didn't make it past the first round, but because I wasn't able to use my talent the way I knew I could. Plus, the people I had told about the audition, (there weren't that many, so if I didn't tell you, don't feel hurt), the ones who truly gave a crap anyway (and there were some who didn't, believe it or not), had all sent me off with good luck wishes and telling me that they knew I could do it! I felt like I had let them all down horribly. But then I stopped feeling bad. I never really believed that I would get very far. I may be able to sing, but I'm certainly not the best one out of 7 or 8 thousand people! I had hoped I'd at least get to the second round, but I didn't, and that was okay. I've come to learn that smashed hopes are a lot easier to get over than beliefs that are proven wrong. Besides, I had finally done something! I have always been so afraid to take a chance on anything, barring a few exceptions of course, but I have never put myself out there to be judged. It's easier to stick with the people who will always tell you you're doing a great job, no matter how things are really going. But I finally did something that took actual bravery. I failed miserably, but it didn't really matter in the long run! I had a great time! I did things I'd never done, and possibly will never get to do again! I'm proud of myself, and I wouldn't change anything (except for possibly the numbing fear that over took me at the last second) for anything! Go me! : )

Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's a little late, but now it's time for the WEEKEND UPDATE! I'll be doing this a day at a time (or thereabouts) simply because so much went on!


Saturday, Steve and I got up at about 2:00 am and got ready to drive down to Birmingham. Why in the world would we want to do that, you say? Well, for some insane reason, I had gotten the urge to audition for none other than AMERICAN IDOL! The rules online said that you had to register up to two days before the actual audition, so we decided to get ahead of the immense line that would be sure to form, and head on down there early.

I had found out some weeks ago that the auditions were going to be held in B'ham this year. Since I had always wanted to try out, but didn't have the time or the funds to go out to Atlanta and stand in line for a week, I figured that this would be the only shot I would have to do it before I got too old. I wasn't going to tell anyone my plans because I knew that everyone would get excited for me and be disappointed if I didn't make it. However, a man a church stopped me and asked if I was going to audition. I didn't want to lie to him, and I didn't have anything to knock him unconcious with so that I could run away without answering, so I told him my plans. It wasn't out of my mouth for a whole minute before more people knew, so I decided to just go on ahead and tell some of my friends. I think I also partly told them because I was afraid I was going to chicken out, and I figured that the more people who knew, the more obligated I would be to go through with it! : )

So anyway, Steve and I get up in the dark and drove the not-so-long drive south. The website for the auditions said that no one would be allowed to camp out, or even get in line before 6:00 am. Yeah, right. We got there a little before 5:00 am, thinking we could just sit in the car until it was time to line up, but there were already about a thousand people in line ahead of us! So we ran over and joined the already packed line of folks waiting to get inside to register. We stood in that line for HOURS. Apparently they didn't care when you lined up, but they weren't going to let anyone in to register until they absolutely had to. We were shoulder to shoulder, packed like the proverbial sardines, everyone breathing the same air. You know how claustrophobic I am, right? At one point before we started moving, I got stuck in the very center of the crowd beside some chick who had BATHED in some kind of reeky perfume that was making me nauseated. I fanned myself with my registration form, and I just barely escaped screaming and clawing my way through the crowd to get back to the car, but I was determined not to throw up or leave my spot. Although we were more than a thousand people behind the front of the line, we were still closer to the front than most people who were there.

At about 7:30 or so we finally started moving. Ever 15 minutes or so the line (or should I say mob, it wasn't exactly orderly) would move up about 20 feet before we would start up again. Steve and I met some nice people in line and talked to them a bit. You pretty much did have to make friends of the people around you, because you were all touching and sharing auras. Getting into a fight or argument in that crowd would have been disasterous! We finally got inside the lobby of the BJCC arena (blessed air conditioning) and registered. It took all of 3 minutes to show my I.D. and for Steve and I to get our armbands and tickets, which signified the fact that we had, indeed, stood in line long enough to warrent getting back in on Monday. My armband was gray because I would be auditioning, Steve's was orange signifying he was only there for moral support. The armbands were similar to the kind you get for going to a carnival or concert, only they were made of flimsy paper. We were instructed NOT to get them wet, NOT to tear them, and NOT damage or alter them in any way because if you didn't have it on on Monday, or if they even looked like they had been tampered with, you'd have to register all over again instead of getting into the audition line first thing. They were PAPER! Regular paper! Geez!

I felt so bad for Steve having to stand in that crowd for so long because he hates crowds as much as I do, but he was actually almost more excited that I was! We got out of there by about 8:45 am, which really wasn't that bad. We figured that we would be there until evening at least, but registration apparently was the fastest thing about the whole process. On the way home we stopped for breakfast and to buy some SaranWrap so that we could basically shrink wrap our bracelets for the weekend. It wasn't easy, but we finally got it done. Just a word to the wise, wearing Saran Wrap on your wrist all weekend is HOT!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention, it was almost impossible to do anything without getting the stupid thing caught on stuff. Arrrrrgh. I even had to sleep in a carpel tunnel wrist brace so that I didn't rip it off in the middle of the night. Taking a shower was hard because I couldn't get my right arm wet. All in all, it was a load of fun! : )

Later that evening a few of our friends came over to have dinner and play "Scene It" trivia. The game has a DVD you have to watch to answer some of the questions. Steve was the DVD Master! He was the only one who could have possibly been the DVD Master because he has done something so complicated with the entertainment system that I don't know how to play DVDs anymore. We don't have a DVD player, we have an X-Box. We no longer have a remote control, we have the bridge of the Starship Enterprise with joysticks. He swears that it will be easier one of these days, but I'm not so sure. At any rate, He was the DVD master and the game was FUN! My team won because the game deciding question was to name the actor who played these characters: Bob Falfa, Jack Ryan, and Indiana Jones. Um, hello?! LOL! Afterwards we put the DVD on "Party Play" and just answered question after question. Anthony and I were neck-on-neck on the questions where the DVD gave the titles of movies in different words and we had to guess the real titles (ex. The Celestial Battles = Star Wars), but I pulled ahead in the last round. Anthony could do the fill in the blanks better than anyone, and Shannon figured out the movies from the movie stills. Then to bed.


Sunday was a regular day with Church and my parent's house for lunch. We were so tired, though. It's been a long time since I've gone without sleep on purpose! We came home right after church at night with the plans to go right to bed, but we were wired. We ended up staying up fairly late and watching the William Shatner Roast on Comedy Central. Shatner rules. That's pretty much all I can say! : ) We finally did fall asleep, which was good because the next day promised to be really, FREAKING long.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Normally, now is the time I do my weekend update.

I was going to update my weekend in pieces over a few days this time because I had a busy, exciting, fun, embarrassing, somewhat disappointing, yet totally worth it weekend to tell you all about. But I'm going to put that off for a day or two because of something that happened yesterday.

My grandmother Martin passed away yesterday morning in her sleep.

My grandmother was a wonderful woman who never, ever thought of herself. She's the one who would sit with Tommy whenever my parent's needed her, and she loved every minute of that. My cousin Scott and I used to go and spend the day with her and she'd tell us stories about the depression and about growing up poor out in the country. I have always loved to listen to her talk about the past. She had a hard life, and she gave of herself to anyone and everyone who ever needed anything. She always let me play in her jewelry box, and would always make me a huge pancake "the size of the whole pan" when I asked her for one, no matter what else she was doing. I also know I got my love of wearing big, gaudy jewelry from her, because she once told me she was like a gypsy and loved to wear beads...and she had an abundance of both in her costume jewelry bowl. She made the strongest sweet tea in the south, and she always kept half a glass of it, in the same scratched plastic cup (all my life, anyways) in the fridge in case she wanted it. She also made he best chicken and dressing in the world, and she loved the color purple. She was really a very terrfic old lady.

When Papa called me yesterday to tell me that she had died, my first reaction, after the shock and sadness, was gladness. Now, before you think I'm completely harsh for saying that, let me explain. My grandmother had been sick and sad for so long. Everyone she was close to, excluding her kids and their families, had already passed away. She was lonely for people who would never be around again. Because she was so timid, she wasn't the kind of person who would ever impose herself on anyone else, even when she wasn't an imposition at all, so she spent a lot of time alone. She had hurt herself a year or so ago, and had to use a walker to get around, and she found out a couple of weeks before her last birthday (her 84th) that she had macular degeneration and would eventually go blind. She was tired of being old and tired of being sick. I have never known anyone who looked forward going to heaven as much as she did, so my gladness isn't because she's gone, but because she's finally well and where she wanted to be.

I once described my life as a plot of land surrounded by a white, picket fence. When I was younger, the fence was whole and perfectly painted, and it kept out the bad things that tried to get in. Every picket was someone who has loved and protected me as I've grown up, or friends who I know cared for me. I've added a lot of pickets as I've gotten older, but I've lost a lot of them too. Life comes along and yanks a picket out every once in a while, by death or distance or by people who just don't care anymore, leaving a gap that just can't ever be completely filled, no matter how many new ones I hammer into place. Sometimes it seems like the holes are so huge that any dangerous thing can, and will, get in. But sometimes, even when the picket is gone, the fact that it was once there keeps me from being too afraid of what might get inside. My grandmother taught me about thinking of others before I think of myself and helping them whenever I can. She taught me to go through hardship and sadness with dignity and to remember that no matter what happens you can always lean on the people who you know love you. I'm going to miss that crazy, old woman, but she's left a lot of herself behind to help me remember that she was once one of the strongest pickets in my fence, and for that I will always be grateful.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Have you ever tried to give a 80 pound Lab a pill?

Not as easy as you would think! The vet gave us some medicine to give our doggies yesterday, but unfortunately it was in pill form. Usually getting Bear to take anything isn't that hard. I mean, the dog ate a napkin once, for the love of Pete, he'll eat anything. However, these pills must have been really gross because even Bear spit them out. However, all I had to do was wrap them in a little lunch meat and he took them just fine.

Butler was another story.

He is notoriously hard to give any kind of medicine to. He's a sweety and will come and jump in your lap normally, but if he thinks you're going to give him medicine he becomes LOCKJAW DOG! Normally we have to embed any pills we give him in cheese, but we didn't have any this time, so I did the ham thing. At first he was all about it, but then he got this look on his face like "YOU B*TCH!" and he spit it out on the floor. So Steve took the direct approach and jumped on him to hold him down. Now, Steve is a big guy. Butler is a big dog, but not as big as Steve. You'd think that by the laws of simple physics, the dog would be subdued, the pill delivered...problem solved. Not so much. Butler apparently has soaked up some gamma rays out in the back yard, because he suddenly put on a burst of super-canine strength and got away. We basically had to drag him back into the kitchen and Steve had to sit on him while I poked crumbs of rapidly dissolving, partially chewed pills as far back into his mouth as I could and hold his muzzle shut. It made me feel rotten to the core, but Butler forgave me after some ear love and the rest of the lunch meat. He's pretty easy going, usually. Thank God for that, too, because I'm pretty sure if he got in the mood, he could tear my freaking arm off!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

OK, so you think Steve is this nice guy? Let me just tell you what he did!

Last night we were just about to go to sleep and got up to untwist my pajamas (because I hate it when that happens!). While I was up, he scooted over onto my side of the bed so that I couldn't lay back down. So I jumped over him and got onto his side. After a few minutes he said he was done and wanted me to move, but I decided I was going to stay where I was! He tried to move me, but I refused to be budged! I just held on to the blanket with my monkey-toes for dear life while he tried to move me. We were both laughing and trying to flip the other one off of that side of the bed when I ALMOST had him pushed off. He kept telling me he'd pull me off with him, but I figured that I would just land on him, so he'd still get the short end of that stick. Suddenly, in a move I'm sure he learned in some kind of Jedi ninja training, he grabbed me by the arm and flipped me, and I went sailing over him and off of the bed. I don't think I even touched the side of the matress while I was going over. I was kind of stunned, but still not ready to be beaten, so I pulled him off of the bed too. Unfortunately, I miscalculated my position and he fell on top of me. I had to drag my battered, squashed, and completely owned hide back to my side of the bed while he lay there and laughed! : )

What did I learn from this episode?

1) Remember that when you are trying to best someone who outweighs you by 80 or more pounds...MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, 2) never get involved in a land war in Asia, and 3) never go in against Steve when your side of the bed is on the line!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


While out on an errand for work, I stopped by the Off Campus Bookstore to pick up my history text book for this coming semester. $86.90 for a book about ancient Roman art history. All I have to say is that this freaking class better be RIVETING. At the checkout counter, there were boxes upon boxes of my favorite thing about going back to school in the fall, the CAMPUS TRIAL PACK! The lady said I could have some of each, so I have the one for him and the one for her. Let's check it out, shall we?

FOR HIM: The trial pack for guys is pretty slim this year. The folding cardboard boxes have been nixed for cellophane bags, which is probably smarter come to think of it. Inside was the normal pack of useless coupons which I threw away. Except for one, which is for a free 1/3 Cheeseburger from Hardees/Carl's Jr. is you buy a large Dr. Pepper. I will keep this for emergency hunger - not enough money situations. The pack also contained:

*1 sample pack of Excedrine - Excellent headache cure, even if it gives me the shakes.
*1 sample pack of Eclipse gum, Cinnamon Inferno flavored. Have not tried it yet, but sounds burney.
*1 sample of Fructis 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. I assume guys got the 2-in-1 because they don't take the time to properly condition as a rule. Who knows?

FOR HER: The trial pack for girls is still pretty slim, but has a couple more things inside it. The toss away coupons (except for the cheeseburger one, of course) and:

*1 sample pack of Excedrine, which is going into my desk for work headaches.
*1 sample pack of Eclipse gum, Midnight Cool flavored. Hmmmmmm, wonder what midnight tastes like?
*1 sample package of Fructis shampoo AND conditioner, none of that 2-in-1 stuff for us! No sir!
*1 full size tube of Softlips vanilla lip balm. Excellent stuff! Tastes like cookies, feels all cold on your lips. Now I feel the need to go find someone to smooch on. Shhhh, don't tell Steve!
*1 sample of Britney Spears perfume Curious. HACK! GAG! I once yawned as I walked past an industrial automatic air freshener sprayer and it sprayed me in the mouth. I preferred the taste of that to the smell of this perfume. It smells like unhappiness, desperation, and the ladies room at K-mart! PLEHK!

Well, that is it. If any of this wows me, I'll let you know and you can go out and buy some for yourself! Or, you can go to the Off Campus book store of your choice and see if you can grab a few trial packs of your own! : )
From the "That's not something that happens everyday" files...

Monday evening after work I was sitting in the livingroom when someone knocked on the door. It kind of scared me because even though I grew up in a place where people just yelled "Knock, Knock" as they walked through the door, I've fallen out of the habit of having people just drop by. I answered the door and there was a strange man on the stoop. He didn't say hello, he didn't ask my name, he just said:

"Do you want to get rid of that dead tree?" and pointed to Wally, the walnut tree that Steve's parent's planted when they got married.

I think my first words were "Bwuh?"

Wally had been leaning on the edge of death for some time now, losing leaves earlier and earlier in the year, and limbs periodically falling off for no good reason. Steve had been talking about getting rid of it, but the logistics of the thing were kind of complicated.

I decided that the man on the porch must have been driving through the neighborhood (he was in a little sub-compact car with his family) and must own a landscaping business and was trying to get a new client. I was just about to tell him to give me a card, because he would have to talk to Steve about it, when Steve pulled up. From there it left my hands and went back to my book. I didn't think anything about it again until I heard a chainsaw and the tree fall over! The man had meant, did we want to get rid of he tree right then! I went to the window, and there lay Wally. Branches everywhere, limbs severed, and an unusual light shining in through he window where the limbs usually block it. Poor Wally. I heard a small sound in the distance. It was if a thousand squirrels suddenly cried out, and then were silenced. ;)

When Steve came in later, we pieced together that the man needed work. He didn't own a business, but he and his family needed money. Hey, at least he was willing to do some work to get the money rather than just asking for it. Gotta love that! He had his wife and kid out there helping him, as well as his brother, so it was down and stacked within an hour. Now we are sans one walnut tree and suddenly our front yard looks enormous! I'm going to miss the tree, though. It's funny how you can get attached to things that you never really think about. We plan to plant another one either where that one was, or near it. Otherwise our yard would look naked!

Yesterday I mowed the lawn, and Steve was picking up the branches left behind from the tree. I was on the riding mower, so once I was finished with the strips to the left and right of the house, all I had to do was wait for Steve to get done picking up in the middle. There were so many (apparently Wally had been extremely frail and brittle) that after a while Steve just gave up and told me to run over them and break them up with the lawnmower, while he took care of edging and whatnot. At first that wasn't a problem, seeing as it was just tiny sticks along the edges, but as I got closer to the middle, the sticks turned into branches and then to limbs. The neighbors, the ones who already think I'm insane, were sitting in their van about to go somewhere. They were watching me run over these limbs. It made me nervous! Also, I didn't want them to see I was basically launching splintered projectiles into their yard, so I went around back and mowed until they left. Then I finished up he front yard. It kind of got bad towards the end, and I think something caught on fire very breifly, but all ended well.

I'm getting a gardner...

Monday, August 14, 2006

Mosquito bites....on toes....driving me crazy...must scratch...ACK!!

I'm not sure that there is a worse place to get a mosquito bite than on your toes. Well, let me rephrase that. I can't think of a worse place that I would be willing to talk about on my blog, than on your toes. I wore flip-flops (my summer shoe of choice) when we went out on Saturday night and must have walked into a group of them. So far this summer I've had one, count them, ONE mosquito bite and that's it. That's like a record for me, especially living in Alabama. They can practically breed in the air down here because of the humidity. Normally you have to be one of those kids in a plastic bubble to only get one bite! I now have 3 or 4 just on my feet and they're driving me nuts! My shoes kept rubbing right across them, so I had to take them off. Now I'm walking barefoot on my nasty work carpet, and I fear for my feet.

I can't say why I felt it necessary to post about this, but it did get my mind off of the incessant itching for at least a few moments!

Go about your day. : )
...and now, what you've all been waiting for...

The Weekend Update! *CHEER!*

Friday: Friday was a strange, strange day. I don't know what was going on with me, but all that day I felt like I had taken a giant dose of Nyquil. You know that feeling, right? You're walking around in a daze, rubbing your eyes, yawning every five minutes or so and wishing you could just sleep? That was me. Maybe the Cullman Dairy Queen slipped a roofie into my blizzard or something, but I was a zombie. I kept thinking that I would wake up any second, but I just ended up staring very intently at the wall. Weirdness. Anyway, Steve thankfully came by and picked me up from work at 4:00 and when I got home, I lay down with a book and very quickly fell asleep. Well, almost asleep. I dozed anyway. Josh called and invited Steve and I to dinner with he and Anthony, so I woke myself sufficiently to take a trip across town to Rosie's Cantina. After dinner we went to Barnes & Noble and hung out there for a while. Josh and I shared a giant chocolate chip cookie and I bought 2 books. Excellent. :) I got a copy of "Emma" by Jane Austin and "Witches of Eastwick" by John Updike. Updike is a hack! I liked the movie, and I'm sure I'd like the book if it wasn't so mired down in exposition and unnecessary description. Since I bought it, I'm going to read it, but that author is over-rated in a big way.

Saturday: I woke up early with the intention of, once again, getting things done. Steve even woke up early and outlined his own plans for the day. We had breakfast (I made blueberry waffles, because I am awesome) and I got ready to go run some errands. I had to go and pick up some prescriptions from Target. We go there so much that the pharmacist knows me by name. I think I'm sending her kids to a very posh private school! : ) After that I picked up a few groceries and headed back to the house. I'd put everything away and settled back to read a little bit, and BOOM, fell asleep. Apparently the recliner is more conducive to naps because I was down for the count. I didn't even know I was tired! We had already made plans with everyone to go to dinner again, so I didn't get to sleep for long. In fact, to ward off a headache, I took some Excedrine which caused me to basically jitter my way through the meal. We had a good time, as we usually do when we're together. After we ate, we walked over to Ashley Furniture, where I think they hate us. Well, not all of us, but maybe just me and Josh. We have made it our habit to try every comfortable looking chair and couch, and we basically waller all over everything. It's my belief that if you are going to buy a new piece of furniture, you need to test it completely. Luckily, the sales people were in a good mood, and no one asked us to leave! : ) I did end up with a million mosquito bites on my feet, but it's a small price to pay for a fun evening.

Sunday: Sunday began fairly well. We had church and Steve and I had made plans for lunch with a couple from there. Wow, it sounds like all we ever do is eat! I like going to lunch with Christy and Matt. They are a lot of fun. Christy thinks I'm much funnier than I really am, so keeping her amused isn't hard. After we got home, I once again sat down with a book and BOOM, asleep again. Maybe I'm just reading really boring books. Who knows? What I do know is that when I woke up a couple of hours later, I felt like I had been forcibly deflated. Flat and sick, if that makes sense at all. I just lay there like a slug. Steve was in rare form and he was picking up the house and cleaning out the hall closet. Me, I watched it all from a distance. Steve went to church at night, but I couldn't get the energy to even stand up for very long. I finally got hungry enough to make myself get up and fix dinner, and I made myself put a load of dishes in the washer. I have no idea how two people can dirty so many dishes, but we had completely run out of plates. Very sad. Steve came home and we watched TV for a while, but I finally went to bed. Wouldn't you know it, when I got there, I couldn't sleep. I don't think I actually fell asleep until after 1:00 this morning. Maybe I'm being punished...

At any rate, aside from the apparent narcolepsy I have developed, I had a very nice weekend. Hopefully everyone of you did as well!

Friday, August 11, 2006

**Note: This should have been posted on Friday, but I got too sleepy and couldn't finish it! I'm sufficently awake now, so here we go.**

I am so freaking tired.

I have no idea why. I went to bed early enough last night, but I must have woken up a lot or something because I don't feel like I slept at all. Must be all of my partying!

Yeah, right! : )

Actually, I did enjoy myself yesterday. Well, except for work, simply because my office was about 90 degrees and I had to do a lot of heavy lifting. I also had to work with some big pieces of Sentra, which is a hard plastic board that we mount posters on. All together, the mounted posters weighed a ton and I had to balance them on my head to carry them downstairs. I now have a goose egg that is very painful because I bounced a little coming down the stairs and they hit me! Anyway, because the Sentra had to be cut to size, the pieces were covered with tiny shards of plastic dust that got all over me and I couldn't brush it off! Very itchy. I had plans for later that evening, so I had to leave work early so that I could go home and shower and change clothes. I'm glad I did because I was able to let the dogs inside before it rained. I'm sure they appreciated it too.

I had plans, once again, to meet Kenny in Cullman. It wasn't for anything as trivial as only dinner plans, noooooooo. This time I was going to have dinner with him AND teach him some much needed skills in Flash. Well, okay, I was going to teach him a couple of very simple things about Flash, but I was still going to teach him something. It's very rare that I know something he doesn't. Strange feeling.

We met, as usual, at the Cracker Barrell and took advantage of the rocking chairs out front. I think we've sat out there often enough to begin to see the subtle differences in the quality of each rocking chair. Kenny's had a slight catch in forward motion, so we found him a new one before it became a problem. : ) It was drizzly and pleasant outside for the first time in a while, so we sat people watching and talking for a long time. We always see at least one strange person or couple of people every time we're there. This time we saw a couple of large, white women drive up in a teal-green mini van with spinners! Spinners, I said. Spinners on only three of their wheels. Apparently the front, left one had flown off somewhere along the way. Now, I'm all about pimping your ride, if you have the desire to do so, but come on! Why would anyone choose to pimp a teal green Dodge Caravan? They weren't even real spinners because they were made of plastic. Yes, to answer how we know this, we walked over to the van once the ladies went in and we played with them. I'm not ashamed.

We finally decided to go, and once again ended up driving back and forth along the main "drag" trying to decide where to eat. I don't know why we do this. Neither of us were very hungry, neither of us knew what we wanted, and neither of us would make a decision. So we finally decided to go to Dairy Queen and have a blizzard to support the Children's Miracle Network. Hey, it was for the kids. Personally, I kind of liked ice cream for dinner. I may have to do that more often! I haven't eaten in a Dairy Queen in a really long time, so I had forgotten the joys of frozen M&Ms in soft serve. We found a table in probably the coldest corner of the resturaunt and ate and talked some more. I don't know about him, but I enjoyed myself immensely. The place was packed to the gills, though. Now we know where the people of Cullman go when everything else is closed. Just about the time hypothermia was setting in, we decided to leave so that I could teach him the computer stuff. We drove over to the Books-A-Million, which actually stays open until 11:00 pm *gasp* and took a table in the cafe. I'll be honest, I suck as a teacher. Not one of my spiritual gifts, apparently. However, I think I explained it well enough for Kenny to get the gist of what he wanted to know. I was showing him how to do a slide presentation where the pics fade from one to another, so it wasn't that complicated. When I was showing him how to add music, we kind of had to tread carefully as to the soundtrack we picked. This was, after all, the same Books-A-Million that almost threw us out for some small, completely unfair transgression when we were there before. So we finally decided on some Tom Jones. Who doesn't love Tom Jones, right? Besides, in a town that repressed, they probably didn't even know what the song "SexBomb" was talking about anyway. :)

After probably confusing him more than he was before we got there (him being too much of a gentleman to tell me this, of course) we both had to go home. We had both been yawning for a while, so it was a long and sleepy drive back. Fortunately, the somewhat constant lightning that flashed my entire trip home kept me awake. By the time I got home I was dragging. Steve wouldn't let me go to bed until we had fed the dogs, so I dozed in the recliner while the dogs periodically came and nosed me awake with their drooly faces. I think there was a conspiracy to see how many times of waking me up it would take before I started to cry. They finally went to bed and so did I. Of course, wouldn't you know it, I couldn't sleep when I finally lay down. I don't know how long I was awake before I finally did fall asleep, but that is probably why I felt like warmed over death when I went in to work Friday morning.

All in all, a very fun evening. Good times.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

You know, someone brought up a good point the other day. I know way too much about Star Wars to be healthy. Granted, I live cheek and jowl with about 3 dozen Han Solo figurines and every imaginable format of Star Wars media (including the horrible Christmas Special. If they had that DVD in Abu Ghraib, not one of those prisoners would have ever had to get naked to be tortured.) But I digress... For someone who maybe only saw the third (or sixth, if I don't want to get yelled at) movie until 1997 or whenever the re-release happened, I know too much. I know a song in EWOK language, for the love of Pete! Help're my only hope....

Onward to other news!

The other day, Steve and I realized that someone had stolen something from our house. It wasn't anything particularly dear to us, but still, that isn't the point. I have mentioned before that we had a bottle of Steve's mother's pain meds at our house. It was in the medicine cabinet and because I have the habit of scanning the shelves while I brush my teeth, I knew exactly where it was and how everything in there is arranged. Saturday evening as I was getting ready to go to the movies I happened to scan the stuff in the medicine cabinet and noticed that the top shelf looked different. Everything was pushed over to one side and one bottle was sideways. I didn't think much about it until I reached up to straighten the sideways bottle and realized that it wasn't the one with the pain pills in it as I thought it was. I looked around the bathroom to see if it had been moved, but never found it. I asked if Steve had moved them and he said he hadn't, so we kept looking until we were sure it was gone. The only rational explanation we have is that the guy who came in to spray for bugs took it. He is the only other person to have been inside our house in the past couple of weeks. Steve wasn't with him when he sprayed the bathroom, so he could have taken it easily. Neither Steve nor I wanted to accuse the guy of anything, since we didn't have concrete proof, but he is the only person who could have taken it because our house had not been broken into in any way. Plus, it was the only thing taken and I can't see someone getting into our house and heading straight for the bathroom and touching nothing else. At any rate, we haven't heard back from the bug people and I'm sure it will come down to our word against his, but I don't think I would trust the same sprayer to come into our house again. Stealing and lying are two of the most despicable things a person can do. Even though we weren't using the pills, it doesn't make it any better! If I ever found out for sure he was the one who took them, I'd like to beat him about the face and neck with a pair of my shoes!

We also got a new garage door! Woo-Hoo! It actually looks nice and works! I need to take a picture and show you the before and after so you can understand why I'm excited about it. Normally such things are of little interest to me, but if you have ever had to live with a peely, orange garage door with dents in it, you'd be excited too! : )

Now I need to make myself get to work. I'm procrastinating more than usual.

Monday, August 07, 2006

My husband is such a Mr. Smart guy...

I have a scar on my chest and I have no idea where it came from. It's been there forever, so I don't really think about it much. Occasionally it starts to burn/hurt for no reason, and it started doing that last night. I happened to mention it to Steve and joked "My scar is hurting again. I wonder if it's trying to tell me something, like we're going to have rain or snow." He looked at me and said "No, but we should probably worry that Voldemort could be nearby."

Quite honestly, I'm ashamed I didn't think of that myself.

So with that, it's time for the WEEKEND UPDATE! YAY!

Friday after work, Steve and I went home and pretty much stayed in for the evening. I made dinner and read the rest of "To Kill a Mockingbird" while Steve watched the A-Team. I really enjoyed the book and I can't believe that I had never had to read it for school. I had seen the movie years ago, but didn't remember much about it. If you've never read it, I recommend it highly. After a while, the sleepy medicine finally won out over the hyper medicine, so I fell asleep while Steve worked on his computer. When I woke up, I helped him cut a hole in the computer casing so he could affix a thingamajig (USB port, maybe?) and that was about it for my Friday. Very exciting stuff. :)

Saturday morning is a blur. Steve had made plans, so I had the house to myself and I don't remember very much of what I did. I sewed and watched "National Treasure," which I love, despite Nicholas Cage and his terrible acting. I had not planned on going anywhere that day because of the no sales tax holiday thing. When you live in Soccermom central, you don't get on the street during any type of shopping holiday if you can help it. Granted, I know that the no tax thing was probably a little helpful, but I don't think it could possibly be enough to warrant the barrage of SUVs and Cabbage-Patch-Doll-shortage like grappliing that went on this weekend. Steve had gone to Target to pick something up Friday night and had almost gotten creamed twice in the parking lot and couldn't get down a lot of the aisles inside the store. The ladies in my part of town are vicious when it comes to shopping. It isn't the kind of obvious aggression that you sometimes see in bigger cities during the after Thanksgiving sales, but it's the complete lack of consideration for everyone else around them that makes it so bad. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to go and get some lunch that afternoon, so I ran out to my car and dodged the neighborhood ladies pealing out of their driveways to get to the local Wendy's and sped right back home. Normally if I take the trouble to leave the house to go out that way, I at least make a detour to Hobby Lobby or something like that. Not this time! I got my food and got home as quick as I possibly could. It reminded me of something I saw once a few years ago. The father of a friend of mine had an aquarium full of Piranah fish. I think there had been other fish in the tank initally, but the mean fish had eaten them all except for this one little guy who constantly hid inside a little fake rock with holes in it that was at the bottom of the tank. When we fed the piranah (I don't think I'm spelling that right) they would all attack the food that we put in there, and the little fish inside the rock would dart out and snatch the crumbs that fell. That's pretty smart for something that has a memory span of about 5 seconds! I felt like that little fish that day, snatching crumbs and hiding back inside my rock for safety! Later that evening a few of us went to dinner and to see the "Talledega Nights" movie. I'm kind of two minded about the movie. I can really only say that there were some funny parts and some not funny parts. The funny parts were really funny and the not funny parts were really not funny. I know that doesn't tell you much of anything, but that's about the best way I can describe it. A lot of the funny parts were from the "It's funny because it's true" stereotype of NASCAR fans. I was seriously worried that I would see my sister and her family out there somewhere. The gay, French, ex Formula 1 driver was kind of dumb. His whole presence didn't seem to fit very well in the big picture. So I give the movie 1 thumb up and a nod for the line "I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"

Sunday was normal. Well, not so much early Sunday morning. The new medicine that my doc gave me is supposed to have a weird effect on me until I get used to it. I take it at night so that I can sleep through most of the effects, but the medicine is very sneaky. Every morning at 3:00, I wake up. As you know, if I am woken up with little to no warning, I am a resident of CrazyTown until I get my bearings. That is what happened that morning. I must've fallen asleep on my hand because it was tingly when I woke up. To my foggy brain, that meant I was having a stroke. I lay there in a panic moving my arms around and making sure my face was working. I even went as far as getting up and looking in the mirror to make sure I could smile with both sides of my face! When I could do that, I decided that I must be having a heart attack, so I waited for the chest pains that never came. I think I even woke Steve up to tell him my left arm was hurting in case I croaked! At some point, though, my brain woke up enough to tell me that I was fine and I felt so dumb. That was a long stretch into CrazyTown, even for me. After I had a good giggle at myself I finally went back to sleep. The rest of the day was pretty much routine. Church, then on to my parent's house for a fish fry, and then back to church that evening. Steve got recognized (you'd betta recognize!) for graduating in December along with our friend Christy who got her nursing degree in May. I thought it was very sweet of the church to do that. They each got a nifty engraved pen and pen box! We also had a special youth centered service at night since they had just gone to a conference earlier that week. I remember those trips. Ahhhh, good times. After church Steve and I went out to dinner with Josh and we had to stop by Wal-Mart for some stuff. There was still a million people out shopping! It was nice to get home and finally go to sleep.

That's all for now. I'll Be Back.

Friday, August 04, 2006


I just read an artical about Rob Schneider (the guy who yelled "You can do eeeeet!"on the Waterboy movie) that said he would never, ever be in a movie with Mel Gibson. Mr. Schneider is 1/2 Jewish and didn't appreciate the anti-semetic comments that Mr. Gibson made while drunk. You know, I can totally dig the fact that what Mel said ticked him off. No one likes to have their race and heritage made fun of in any way. Sheesh, down here in the dirty south, racism isn't exactly a foreign concept to understand, you know? I suppose what I think is really funny about it all, is that Rob Schneider is making a big public statement about how he wouldn't be in a movie with Mel Gibson.

Rob, honey, bless your heart, I don't think that was anything you needed to worry about in the first place. Well, not unless his next movie needs a dirty cajun guy to stand on the road to Gethsemene and yell to Jesus as he passes by "You can do eeeeeeet!"

Great, now I've got a visual. :)

In other news, I'm feeling pretty strange today. I don't think I've been sleeping well lately. Steve has Restless Leg Syndrome or something, so every night just as I'm falling asleep, he starts doing RiverDance. He doesn't even know it's happening until I wake him up. I know he can't help restless leg syndrome, but if something doesn't happen soon, I'm going to develop restless kicking his butt out of bed syndrome! :) Kidding... Actually, I think the feeling strange is a mixture of several things. First off is Steve's nocturnal Lord of the Dance impression. Then I had to go to the doc yesterday and he gave me some medicine that makes me sleepy. I also already take medicine that kind of makes me hyper, so right now I'm in a state where I'm pretty sure I would be able to move things with my mind if I wanted to. I'm afraid I'm going to fall asleep facedown on the keyboard. I suppose that if you see a post on here that is all nonsense (or at least more than usual) you'll know it happened.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I've got a jar of dirt! Guess what's in it!

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.

Captain Jack Sparrow


Lara Croft


Batman, the Dark Knight


The Amazing Spider-Man




Indiana Jones


Neo, the "One"


The Terminator


El Zorro


James Bond, Agent 007


William Wallace


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Dear Covergirl Cosmetics,

Last night, in a fit of cleaning that will probably not happen again for some time, I was in the process of cleaning out my makeup table when I found a tube of "Outlast" lip color that my mother gave me. It was a dark wine color with sparkles in it which seemed quite lovely. Since I can't ever seem to clean out this drawer without trying on at least some of the things I find in there to see if they are worth keeping, I decided to put some of this lip color on. Maybe it's because I'm pale, maybe it's because I never wear dark lipstick anymore, but I realized quite swiftly that the dark purplish color did not flatter me at all. However, I did not fret about it because I wasn't going anywhere and I still had a lot of junk in the drawer that I had to get rid of and I promptly forgot that I had applied the afore mentioned product. Fast forward to this morning when I looked into the mirror for the first time. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my lips were indeed, still purple. Having part of your face discolored is not a good thing to see when you are still in the squinty-eyed process of waking up from a deep sleep. After staring at myself for a considerable amount of time, I remembered that I had applied the lipstick and that was all it was. So I washed my face, nay, scrubbed my face to rid myself of the bad, unflattering color. It wouldn't come off. In fact, after washing my face and scrubbing my lips raw with a towel, the stuff would STILL not come off. While they are still purple, the scrubbing did manage to make my lips swell up to Mick Jagger-like proportions before I just gave up. I should commend your product because it does, indeed, stay on 5 times longer than other lipsticks. In fact, I've known tattoos that came off easier than your "Outlast" lip color. So thank you, Covergirl, for not falsifying your advertising. Now, if you know how I can get the stuff off, short of an acid bath, a la The Joker from Batman, I'd love to get that information from you.

Yours truly,
Kelly Pratt

In other news...

I listened to my very first podcast this morning. Well, not MY first podcast, but the first time I've ever heard one. Kenny has entered the world of podcasting with a delightful story of a visit to the local video rental place. Unfortunately for me, however, I now have the cursed "Mambo Italiano" song stuck in my head. This song was the bane of my existance during my stint as assistant manager of Pier 1 Imports. Not only is this a song that sticks with me, for some inexplicable reason it melts from "Mambo Italiano" to the theme song from "The Munsters" in my mind. So that's what I will be humming all day today. Thanks, Kenny. ; )

Yesterday I got a work order to make some stencils that are to be used to paint "No Jumping or Diving" around the edge of the "Concrete Pond" down at AC. Well, it wasn't so much a work order as it was "we need stencils" e-mail. Making the stencils are fairly easy, but only if I have certain information. So I e-mailed back and asked what exactly they needed to say, how big do they need to be, and how many were needed. Instead of telling me how many, he just said "enough to put one approximately 10 feet apart all the way around the lake." Um, yeah. Let me just go get my servey equipment and figure that one out. SIGH. Now I have to track down someone who can tell me the dimentions of the thing. Joy!

Well, I must move onward for now. I'll be back!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

It's hot.

I've been going to the NOAA website a million times a day in hopes that a cloud might be hovering over North Alabama getting ready to rain on us. I've been obsessed with the passion usually reserved for children hoping for snow. Something about the weather gives me bad flashbacks of band camp when we had to stay outside for hours and hours practicing drill and running laps. I never have been able to figure out what good running laps did to someone in the marching band. That's why I'm grateful for the fact that the band director finally put me in the pit my freshman year. I never had to march again! :)

It feels yellow and brown outside and those are my least favorite colors of weather! I want RAIN! I want THUNDERSTORMS! I, however, do not want tornadoes if you please.