Tuesday, July 26, 2016


1) My visit to the cardiologist went well, thank goodness!  I explained everything that happened, and he didn't seem too concerned.  He did ask me a few questions and he has me scheduled to do a halter monitor test in early August.  Basically that means I'll get to wear a portable EKG thing (I think, anyway) for 24 hours and they'll see if my heart is doing anything weird.  I'm going to be super sexy wearing a heart monitor, you know.  Too bad I can't bedazzle it or something.  I could make it look good! :)

The thing is, I haven't been taking the medicine that one of the docs thought could have caused my "event" (and I won't take it again until I'm sure there are no problems with my actual heart) and I'm taking the prescribed amount of the other medicine that they thought I might have taken too much of, so if that's what caused my problem, I'll probably never know.  I never had problems with either medication before, so I have no idea.  All I know is that I can feel the effects of the lack of those meds, and although it won't cause any long term problems, I'd really like to feel better in general by getting back on them asap.  Good times.

I think my whole personage just needs a tune up.  I just want to feel normal again!!!!!!

2) Sunday night, when I got home from church, I got out of my car and it was smoking out from under the hood. I don't know much about cars, but I do know that is not good!  I popped the hood (you know, because I know about engine stuff) and there was a loud hissing noise a puddle of green stuff frying on my engine.  I called Steve out to look at it and he said it was coolant, so apparently my car overheated.  Who knows why? I'm not driving the convertible until we can get it fixed, so I have been driving the Dakota that doesn't have air conditioning!  It's so dang hot and the truck doesn't have air. It also has an engine that sounds like a helicopter.  That's by design, though.  Granted, I'm not going to complain too much, because without the behemoth, I wouldn't have a vehicle. I'm definitely more fortunate than most people would be at this point!

I've been saving up for a newer car.  I was hoping for the convertible to last at least another year, bits falling off and everything, but depending on what the mechanic says when we (eventually) manage to coordinate schedules and get it over there, we may have to start looking for a newer car sooner than I'd planned.  I know you can't keep cars forever, but I was really used to not having a car payment!  *SOB*  Oh, well, if I want to be able to drive long distances without the car stopping for no reason, and maybe not have it squeal when I turn on the engine, and possibly not have anything fall off when I drive it, we'll just have to suck it up.

I have picked out what I want next, though! 

A Honda HRV

Well, actually what I WANT is:
a 2016 Hellcat 

But if I want to be able to pay if off in my lifetime without having to sell the house and live in the car, I'm going with the Honda.  It isn't flashy, but it should be more practical.  

I don't want to be practical!!!!!!!!

*Sigh* I'll be practical.  

3) Our yearly termite inspection came due last Friday and I managed to get in and out of the shower before he showed up!  Yay!  Well, actually, I waited a very long time for him to show up and he wasn't there by 2:00 that afternoon. The guy was supposed to be there that morning.  I was not happy.  I mean, I know stuff happens and service people get behind on their visits for one reason or another, but I'd expect anyone that late to have someone call or something!  So I took matters into my own hands and called.  I wasn't rude.  IN fact, I went out of my way to be nice, but I did tell them I had things I needed to get done and I needed to know if they'd be there at some point.  The person on the phone gave me a weird kind of non-answer, but said they'd have the local office call me and reschedule.  I told them that I would have to leave, so they'd have to talk to Steve to reschedule.  I only did that because I really had to go run an errand (timing was an element) and would be gone a bit, and if they were going to call back, I wouldn't be home.  

So I went out and did my stuff and came back, and I was home about 20 minutes when the doorbell rang and it was our termite guy!  I thought Steve must have gotten scary to these people on the phone, because I had expected to have the inspection on another day, plus the guy was really, really apologetic.  I didn't care, I just let him in to look around while I was fixing dinner.  The guy was really excited to see all of our Star Wars stuff.  We have it in pretty much every room right now (we are still trying to re-organize things and I'm ashamed we aren't done yet) but every time he'd go into a room he'd say "OOOH! I like your Chewbacca!"  "Oh, wow, your husband has some first generation stuff!"  "Wow, that's a big Millennium Falcon!"  I think it probably took him longer to do the inspection because he stopped and looked at all of our toys!  He was very excited.  Haha!  I also realized when he was done that I'd had my Star Trek uniform hanging on the frame around the closet because I'd moved it earlier and hadn't put it away yet.  Do you think we're the geekiest house he was in that doesn't contain kids?  It has to be close.
As it turns out, Steve never talked to them.  Being nice must work!

4) I learned to make pasta from scratch!  I'm very excited about it.  

There's not really a story there.  I just thought I'd let you know!  :)

Have a lovely day!

Wednesday, July 20, 2016


1)  I'm here and still alive, so far.  Thanks to everyone who has been concerned! I'm glad you guys care. :)  I have an appointment with the cardiologist today, and I sincerely hope that it doesn't end with another appointment to run on a treadmill and have my left boob make another new friend.  I mean, because really, if that's going to happen, I'd like it to be in a much more relaxed setting. ; )

Ugh.  You know what makes me mad about the whole situation?  Ever since the original stress test I had, and after finding out that my left arm periodically going numb was due to the spine problems I have, I have not been worried about my heart at all.  Not even a little bit.  Granted, I know hereditary stuff is still a possibility and all, but the fears I had due to my dad's heart attack had gone away.  Do you have any idea how rare that is for me?  I worry about things. To be free of one of those worries was such a relief.  Then out of nowhere, my heart decides its going to do a dumb thing and I have to start all over.  It pisses me off! I'm too young for this! (Young being a relative term, obviously.)  I'm (kind of) young and shouldn't be worried about things of this nature!

I do have a theory of my own about what happened, though.  I think I have a food allergy that maybe I didn't have before. The only thing I did differently that day that I do everyday is that I ate a Cliff Bar.  I don't like them, but I was in a hurry to get out to the door and do what I had to do, and it was the fastest thing I could get my hands on.  I ate it, and 20 minutes later everything went to hell.  I didn't think of that at the time, but when everything else came back normal, I thought maybe that could've been it. Who knows?  Since the fiasco with the probiotics, I apparently can't eat dairy stuff anymore, so it's not out of the realm of possibilities that something in that bar caused me to have a bad reaction.

So, there you go.  Hopefully it was a one time thing and I can go back to being a normal person who does normal things after I see the doc.  However, if there is a new problem, and I'm talking worst case scenario stuff, I might need a few of you to help me cross some things off of my Bucket List!  I've got too much I want to do in my life for this kind of nonsense. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

2) Steve got a new job!  I have no idea exactly what he does, but I do know that he is one of the few people in the US that does that particular thing. I mean, I know his title, but what he does has something to do with a an acronym and even though he's explained it, I still don't really understand. It's computer stuff that goes too deep for me.  His new company will be sending him all over the place for consulting.  I think that's neato!  Go Steve! 

This will mean he'll be traveling more, but apparently I'll be able to go with him to a few places.  I'm hoping he'll go somewhere interesting so I will want to tag along. I hope one place will be Alaska.  There are sled dog puppies there somewhere, and I'm going to find them and bring them all back with me!

3)You want to hear something weird?  I know you do.  :)  Heh!

Years ago, and I mean around 17 or more years ago, I was having a very slow day at work and so I passed some time by drawing out what I considered to be (at the time) my dream house.  I didn't draw the blueprints, just the outside, but in my head I knew exactly what it would look like and how it would be laid out.  I could describe it in detail, but that would be boring.  All you need to know was that it wasn't a big house, but it was an older style, two-story cottage that had a staircase that started just inside the front door. It was one of those things a person thinks about when they're bored, so for a while, I thought about it a lot!

Of course, knowing how way leads on to way, I just sort of forgot about it all and went on with life. But a few months ago I started thinking about the house again out of nowhere.  That part isn't weird.  I don't know what jogged my memory, but the house just started popping into my head a lot.  The setting and inside decor would change depending on my mood, but it was always the same house.  Then a few weeks ago, someone on Facebook "shared" a picture of an old, abandoned house.  I don't even know the context of it, but it was my house!  My "imaginary" house!  There were even pictures of the inside, and it was laid out like it was in my head.  I suppose I should mention that I've never been inside a house like that before, so to see an actual photograph of a house I knew, but had never been inside of, was a little creepy.  I could understand the outside being something I'd seen before, but not the inside.  I saved the pictures, but don't have them on me at the moment, or I'd post them.  Not that it matters, I guess.  You guys can't see inside of my head.

Or can you?

*Twilight Zone Music*

4) I have been getting grief over this from all sides, but this presidential election will be the first one since I registered to vote that I will not be voting in.

I know it's a right and a civic duty, but I just can't do it.  There is no lesser of the two evils here.  It's all a giant dumpster fire and America is sitting on top of it.

I hope you'll forgive me.  I just can't, with good conscience, vote for anyone that is running.   Please don't make me!

5) Oooh!  Another weird thing.  Two nights ago I was in the living room by myself after Steve went to bed. The television was off and I was reading something, so it was completely quiet, when I heard what sounded like a robotic voice outside of my window.  It scared me BADLY.

Well, let me be more clear.  At first it sounded like a cicada, you know, the "reeeee reeeee reeeee" sound they make, only it wasn't.  The tone was the same, but there was inflection to it, and the pattern wasn't consistent like a cicada would have been.  It sounded exactly like something with a metal voice box trying to speak a long sentence.  Maybe a better way to describe it would be to think of one of those poor people who have had cancer and have to have that thing implanted so that they could talk, only imagine that being distorted and the battery running down on it.  There were no intelligible words, just a scary, metallic voice that was trying to say something, but didn't quite know how. 

Scared nearly pantsless or not, without looking at the window, I calmly walked to the house alarm and turned it on, and then walked into the bedroom and said "Steve, I'm not crazy, but there is a robot talking outside of our window."  Steve asked what I was talking about, and I tried to explain, but of course he didn't believe me.  He just laid back down (BECAUSE HE APPARENTLY WELCOMES OUR NEW ROBOTIC OVERLORDS) and I had to go back to the living room by myself so that I could turn off the lights.  I know how stupid this sounds, I promise, but whatever it was unnerved me enough that I couldn't make myself go into the living room right away because the big windows are right there.  I finally had to sternly talk myself into it so that I could go and turn off the lights.  I did it, but didn't hear any other weird sounds.  I was still scared, though. Before I got into bed, I strapped one of the heavy police flashlights we have onto my arm and turned it on.  I figured that if whatever it is that made the sound broke into the house, I'd have both light and a blunt instrument. I left it on for a long time. I also didn't sleep for a long time.  It's been a while since anything scared me that badly. 

I still don't know what it was, but I swear if it was some kid playing Pokemon Go (Does it make sounds like that? No idea.) or something outside of my house, I'm going to hunt them down and beat them with my flashlight for scaring me.

Saturday, July 09, 2016


Everyone knows what a bucket list is, right?  You know, the list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket?  I'm pretty sure everyone has one and we all get to do something on our list every once in a while.  I also believe that everyone has something called a F*uck That list.  Its the things you don't want to do, ever.  We all try to avoid doing those things. Unfortunately, I got to experience one of the things on my F*ck That list on Friday.

I was going to be SO productive on Friday, you guys, I really was.  I was going to do some shopping and then come home to do a much needed boxing up of stuff I've been wanting to send to goodwill.  Then, if I had some time, I was going to eat ice cream and watch a movie.  I even had the movie picked out so I could watch it when I had time. 

I started out my day going to one of my favorite stores, Hobby Lobby.  I didn't even really need anything, but that never mattered before.  I was just there to see what I could find and have a little fun. Everything was fine until I knelt down to look at something at the bottom of a shelf, and when I stood up I almost fainted.  You know how you'll stand up too quick and get a head rush?  It was like that, only really bad.  I had to steady myself and when I finally did, I couldn't take a deep breath.  I've been having some trouble with the deep breathing since we were in Ireland, so I did what I always do and puffed on my inhaler. Usually that helps, only it didn't this time.  My heart started beating so hard and fast that I thought I was going to pass out.  I didn't, thank goodness, and so I kept on shopping.  The feeling didn't go away.  My heart was going a mile a minute and I was dizzy and couldn't breathe, and as I happen to wear a Garmin Vivosmart HR now, I remembered that I was wearing a heart rate monitor on my arm and could see if I was just imagining it.  I don't know what my normal heart rate is, but I was walking slowly through a building, not running, and my heart rate was going crazy.  It was a 134 beats a minute when I first checked, it went down to 112, then went back up to 135 while I was watching it.  My chest wasn't hurting, and I wasn't having a panic attack, so I didn't understand what was happening.  I shopped for a bit longer, paid for my stuff, and went out to my car to go to the next place. On the walk to the car, my heart rate fell to 41, and then jumped back up to 120.  I almost, almost went to the walk-in clinic right then, because the last time I was feeling like this, it turned out to be walking pneumonia and easily taken care of.  By the time I had sat in the air conditioning for a minute, though, I felt a little better and decided to go to Target instead.  Just walking to the building from the car started my heart racing again.  I was dizzy and was still having trouble breathing, but I thought it would pass.  It didn't.  I went to the pharmacy and sat on the bench with my face in my hands and tried to take stock of what was going on.  I was dizzy, my heart was slamming inside my chest, I couldn't take a deep breath, but I wasn't in pain anywhere.  Physically, it felt exactly like one of those massive panic attacks I have had in the past, but my mind wasn't racing about anything.  I sat there wondering what I should do, when I broke out into a sweat and my skin flushed.  I was afraid someone from the pharmacy would see me and call an ambulance (I really didn't want that) and so I got up to leave.  I called Steve to get his advice on what I should do, go to the clinic, or go to an emergency room.  We both decided I should go to the walk in clinic after all, just in case this was walking pneumonia. I just hoped I could get seen quickly because I was feeling very wrong.

I got to the clinic and got called back within about 10 minutes.  When the nurse came in, I told her what was going on and she took my blood pressure.  She walked out of the room right away and grabbed the doctor and brought her in.  I kept my composure. The last time I was in that clinic with a similar story and didn't stay calm, that doc prescribed me an anti-depressant I didn't need.  I didn't want her to do that again.  She listened to my heart and listened to me breathe and told me to lie down.  Then she came back in and told me I needed to go to the emergency room.  I told her I could drive myself, but she said no, they'd call me an ambulance.  Well, crap.  So I said that was fine and I called Steve to tell him to meet me there.

You guys, I was literally handed to a couple of paramedics, strapped to a gurney, and wired to an EKG machine.  They were super calm, thank goodness, because if they'd been in a panic, I would have panicked.  I was wheeled out of the clinic in front of everyone in the waiting room and loaded into a waiting, lights flashing, ambulance in the parking lot.  I was actually embarrassed.  I've never had anything like that happen before and had hoped I never would!  The paramedic gave me baby aspirin, then nitroglycerin (which is so gross, BTW) and I was driven - sirens off, thank goodness - to the nearby hospital.  The medic kept me calm, trying to explain what could be wrong, and she said it didn't look like a heart attack, but they couldn't be sure.  She started an IV and called the hospital. She asked me questions the whole time. I tried to keep a good sense of humor about all of it and I felt oddly calm, but really, I was scared. 

I got wheeled into the emergency room (and I smiled at everyone I saw, mainly because I felt like such a tool for being wheeled into the emergency room) and they settled me into a bed and started hooking me up to things.  I had the IV, a bunch of ID bracelets (and one that said "FALL RISK" which I'm keeping to wear for other times because, really, I am one) blood was being drawn and I was being fitted with a blood pressure cuff and wired up (again) for a new EKG machine.  One of the nurses told me to get undressed from the waist up, and he covered me with a gown for privacy, and then I had to answer a million questions and swear on two sets of paper work that I wasn't pregnant.  Steve came in around that time and the nurses and stuff started leaving me.  Soon, we were in there alone.

I was still weirdly calm about everything. I hadn't panicked once, even though I was scared, and Steve being there to talk to helped a great deal in keeping that together.  People would come in and out, and I think I had to tell the story of what happened four or five times. One thing I had to admit to was taking too much of a certain kind of medication I was prescribed, just in case that was what was causing this.  I know, I know, I was being dumb, but I hadn't felt like the medicine was doing me any good at the strength I was given,  so I decided to take a half a pill more just to see what would happen.  It's such a tiny amount of medicine that I didn't think it would matter, and the Nurse Practitioners didn't think that would do it, but they did blood tests (again) to check on that.   The tests that they'd done on my heart had come back fine, and my blood tests came fine - even the one where they could check the levels of medication was normal.  No one seemed to know what was going on. During this time, the power kept going off in the hospital, which slowed everything down a lot.  It also turned off the air conditioning, which, as you understand, was no fun.  I told the NP that I had been in Ireland, and he said that because I'd been on a very long flight and because of my *ahem* age and because I have birth control pills, I could very possibly have a blood clot that had traveled to my lung, which could be why I was having trouble breathing.  So the sent me for a CAT scan, and I got as far as being wheeled into the room and rolled into the machine when the power went out again and caused the dye injector to malfunction.  So I was rolled back to my room and told that I would be taken back when they'd fixed it.  The power never came back on, so they did a different test that said I didn't have a blood clot. I think I was in that room for a total of 6 or 7 hours, mostly alone or with Steve, and the NP came back in and said I could leave.  They couldn't find anything wrong.

So my heart starts beating out of control, I can barely breathe, I almost pass out, another doctor sends me to the emergency room in an ambulance, and there isn't anything wrong.  Well, OK then.  I'm not complaining or anything, because I certainly didn't want to die or whatever, but still...that's weird, right?  Huh.

So I got unplugged from everything, and I had to pull off about a hundred sticky things from my chest and torso where leads had been attached (and they left sucker marks that look like I'd been hugged by an angry octopus) and I was discharged. I'm covered in needle pricks and bruises.  I was told to make an appointment to see the cardiologist that had done my stress test and that was that.  I guess I'll call him on Monday.

I still can't really do much without my heart beating really fast, and I still can't always take a very deep breath, but I guess I'll be OK for now.  Hopefully.

That was really not the kind of adventure I wanted, but at least I got my ice cream in the end! 

Friday, July 08, 2016


OK, to be fair to Steve, when I asked him about it this morning he says he didn't call me "Homely" he said I looked "Holiness," but he did admit that it meant the same thing.

He also says he was preemptively trying to make me feel better about my haircut, because he thought that I didn't like it.  He was jumping ahead of me actually saying I didn't like it, I guess.  All I said was that it was shorter than I'd wanted.  I'll give him points for trying to help, even though he didn't!

He finally said that he'd never comment on my appearance again, so really, it's win-win for the both of us!  :)

Thursday, July 07, 2016


1) I had the most random memory pop into my brain this morning. Maybe I've told this story before, but I'm not sure.

Just to give you a bit of background: when I was in the 8th grade (I think) I went on a trip with our Junior Beta Club to Washington D.C.  If you knew me back then, you'll probably remember me as a very quiet, very geeky kid. This was before being geeky was as socially acceptable as it is today.  I can admit that now, so it's ok to agree with me!  Haha!  I was really only friends with one girl on the trip, and if you have ever traveled with a bunch of people you barely know, some of who were the kind of kids who would purposefully alienate you from their groups because you weren't cool, you can probably guess how I was feeling a lot of the time: a little left out and very unsure about what to do with myself.

We were at Colonial Williamsburg, I believe, and we were taking a tour of some house.  I don't remember, exactly where we were, but I know we were in an old dining room and the costumed lady was telling us about the kinds of foods they would have had for dinner.  She mentioned beef tongue, which I'd never heard about people eating. I said out loud "Yuck, I don't want to taste anything that could taste me back!" It was a dumb joke, I know, but everybody laughed.  It was the first time that I remember making people laugh.  I'm sure I had done it before then, because the law of averages kind of leans that way, but it was the first time I remember making a LOT of people laugh. I was hooked. That was a kind of turning point for me. I think that moment prompted me to stop hiding behind my books and try to be a little bit more outgoing, and I knew I absolutely wanted to make more people laugh.  I still do!  I think that when people say I'm funny, it's one of the nicest compliments they can give me.  Well, say I'm funny and smoking hot, and THAT would be the nicest compliment, but I'll still take funny any time. :)

I think it's odd that I suddenly remembered that moment so clearly, though.  I've been remembering a lot of very specific moments lately.  I hope this doesn't mean my life is flashing before my eyes or anything.  Geez.  There's a thought that'll keep me awake later.

2) I am still a little bit blue, but there are way more sparkly bits today. I just hit a weird pocket of yuck, I guess.  People do leave those things lying around, don't they.  Very careless.  Well, whoever was feeling depressed and passing it on to me, I hope they are almost feeling better.  I also want to say sorry again for being a morose jerk.  The world already has enough of those guys and they don't need my help mucking things up.

[Seriously, I said "bits." What is wrong with you?]

3) I got a haircut last week and it wasn't a complete disaster!  I didn't really plan on what I wanted. I just decided to do a throwback and get a reverse bob, or whatever they are called, because it seemed easiest.  The lady who cut my hair did as I asked (for once) and my hair turned out just fine. Well, I think it did, at least. As with most of my haircuts that aren't immediately recognizable as a dumpster fire, I was fine with it for a while and then basically went around with my hands on my head for a while after trying on almost all of my hats. 

I mean, it's fine.  I don't know if I'll ever just get an awesome, perfect haircut unless I wind up on one of those shows where professionals do makeovers, but it's fine.  I hate getting my hair cut and I just go wherever it's cheap, usually.  I could pay more for a haircut, but it's not a thing I like to do, so I don't want to pay a lot for it.  Does that make sense? 

It's shorter than I'd intended, though.  The lady who cut my hair (a very sweet Asian lady) said "You got curl. I cut it shorter. It stick out wrong." I agreed the first time, but not the second.  I'll stick with curl. I don't care if it stick out wrong. :)

What really prompted me to get the haircut was Steve.  I apologize for throwing him under a bus, but I'm totally going to throw him under a bus.  Y'all, it's hot as balls here in Alabama. Seriously, I don't even really know what the temperatures are on the Balls Scale, but I know we're somewhere at the high end of that.  Add to that that I'm only just now getting my feet back underneath me from jet lag and so on this particular day, I was also tired.  Me being tired and hot means I'm going bare minimum of girly. We went to grab some dinner, so I pulled on a dress and pulled my hair up into a pony tail.  While we were waiting to be served, Steve looked at me and out of nowhere said "That's not a good look for you. You look homely."  The fact that he's still walking around without black eyes is a testament to how tired I was.  So I just stood there, feeling homely, until I could go home and spare the public from my hideousness.  I guess it kind of subconsciously weighed on me, though, because I thought "Haircut!" about a week later.  So I get the haircut and had just come to terms with it (i.e. had taken my hands off of my head) when Steve comes home.  He says "Oh, you got a haircut!  Don't worry, it'll grow back.  You know, if you went to a real salon, it wouldn't end up looking like that."  Sigh.  At least I have a lot of hats.

Oh, well, he's bald, so what does he know? ; )  

4) Today is World Chocolate Day and I haven't had any chocolate yet.  I need to remedy this.  Would anyone happen to be going to Belgium today?  I have a shopping list for you. 

Wednesday, July 06, 2016


Yikes, what a day.  What a yucky day.

Have you ever had one of those days where it just seems like you lose at everything?

Nothing you do, or say, or write or anything seems to be good.  Whole conversations just seem pointless. Everything seems stupid.

I'm having one of those days.

I was complaining to a friend earlier about morose jerks, but I think I may be the morose jerk today.

I'm strangely calm about it, too, which makes it even weirder.  It's like the feeling isn't even mine.  It's like I'm feeling someone else be depressed.  I'm getting a contact depression.  Is that even a thing?

I just want to roll up in a blanket and be a blanket burrito.

I'm hungry though, so I'll have to wait until I eat to become a blanket burrito, because I'll need my hands.  

Anyway, I hope that you, whoever you are, are having a good day, at least!

Oooh, maybe I'm taking one for the team. Maybe if I'm sad, then someone else isn't!  That makes me feel a bit better about it.

So, you know, yeah.  I'm sorry to complain.  I'll be fine.  I'm just a bit blue.  Blue with sparkly bits.

I said "bits" you perv.

Now go away and have a good evening.  Do it for the blanket burritos.