Friday, January 30, 2004

Sick unto death. Did you know this can be emotional instead of physical? I just found this out. I'm weary of so many things and people right now. I don't even want to talk about it. Let me just say that I have some sorry &*%^#%@ weirdos in my life.

Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Quick, someone say a prayer that I don't fail my first assignment in my contemporary art and issues class. I had to write a critical analysis on an articals called "Confrontations With Radical Evil" and did I understand any of it? NO! Did I have any idea how to write a critical analysis the way the teacher described it? NO! I finally just had to write something so I could turn it in. Please, Lord, I need to pass this class!

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but so far I have successfully avoided doing it. I should really, REALLY stop procrastinating!
Just to let you know, I just spent three hours cooped in an art studio with an old, naked woman. Let me say that one word at a time to emphasize what I just said: AN. OLD. NAKED. WOMAN. My class was instructed to draw this old wrinkly woman as a class project. Please let me tell you, time had not been kind for this lady, and she was naked. On a Chair. Right in front of my desk. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go find a nice quiet corner to vomit in.

Saturday, January 24, 2004

Last night Steve, Josh and I went to have dinner at an excellent Mexican resturaunt and we stopped by the Movie Gallery not far from the house. We were going to rent a movie, but they had a special buy 2 get one free VHS thing going on. You will never guess the movie we found! SpaceCamp! You know, that horrible, cheesy movie from 1986 that Lea Thompson, Kate Capshaw, and Juaquin Phenoix were in? It was filmed here at the Sprocket Center in 1985 or so and it is so terribly bad that you have to see it to believe it. Of course, being the major space dorks Steve and I are, we bought it and we all watched it together. Granted, I've seen it before, and it's really bad, but I couldn't help suddenly getting into the story. I suppose that all I could think of when they launched the Space Camp kids into space was the phone calls we would be getting threatening lawsuits and screaming parents. Oy vey. I literally got nauseated. I recommend that you watch it at least once, if for no other reason than to see the Space and Rocket Center on a movie. : )

Wednesday, January 21, 2004


That's such a great song. : ) Let's turn it up really loud and dance to it! My favorite memory of this song was when I was in high school and the FFA officers (don't laugh, I loved it) went to Kansas City, MO to the National FFA convention. While we were at the part of the convention where the booths and exhibitions were, one of the string bands played Sweet Home Alabama. Everyone from AL jumped up and danced and sang along. My friend Jamie Brothers was there and I danced with him and we had so much fun. The band was so exited that they got that kind of reaction, that they played it a second time. That's a great memory. I don't know what made it reserface, but there it is. : )
Icky Icky, Icky. I've got a lot to do today. Okay, well maybe not a lot, but much more than I wanted to do.

I'm about to go to school, and I'm already so sleepy! I just know I'm going to keel over in this man's class. I do not understand anything he talks about, at all. I also have to go by the University bookstore and see if they have a 18x24 book of Bristol board because no one else in the freaking universe has it! If they don't have it, I'll just buy the biggest book of it I can find until I can find a place that carries it!
I will also be serving wench at the soup and sandwhich dinner at church, and then I have to go to the pharmacy and pick up some meds. Wow, my life is so riveting. I'm surprised they haven't offered to follow me around and make a reality show. They could call it "American Idle".
Well, I've got to fly. Talk in a bit!

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Zulu Strawberries. What an awesome name for a band.
I have weird friends, and my friends have weird friends. I try to understand things that go on between them and I get completely lost. Oh well, it's about time I learned to mind my own business anyways : ).
Speaking of friends. A few weeks ago I saw "The Kevin" from my old high school days. We talked, looked uncomfortable, we exchanged phone numbers, and we said we'd talk later and get together for lunch. Well, I have to admit, I was excited to see him again, and I was looking forward to getting together and finding out who he had turned into. Well, after a couple of weeks and after wondering if it was going to be worth it all, I called him. Actually, I was really hoping that I would get an answering machine so that he would have to call me back if he still wanted to talk and then I would know if he was just being nice, or if he was really interested in being friends again. However, the number he gave me was his cell phone, and I caught him right in the middle of work. He sounded so flustered and I immediately felt like I had done something wrong by calling him (Hey, just like when we were dating!). Well, we talked for a second, and I told him I'd let him get back to work, and I never heard from him again. You know, this guy is the master of making me feel like the least important human being that ever lived. The funny thing is, he doesn't mean to. Wait, don't get me wrong, I don't still have any feelings for him other than friendship feelings, but I still don't like being treated like that. I didn't ask for him to resurface! HE is the one who followed me into the grocery store to talk, HE is the one who gave me his phone number, HE is the one who made an effort to make sure I knew he was right there. Now what?! Geez, it's frustrating. I know I shouldn't be writing this in my blog for whomever just happens to cross the path to read. I don't normally just spill like this about really personal stuff (I am afterall, the cheerful, perpetually happy person!), but darnit, I need to vent. I don't think anyone in the world knows how much he had hurt me! Even though I talked to people about it, I have never been able to completely express how worthless he made me feel. He made me feel like I didn't matter, like I wasn't worth being honest with, like all he had to do was humor me until he could get physically away from me and then he could just pretend I never exsisted! I put everything I had into that stupid, worthless relationship and when it was all said and done, when he made me feel like my best efforts were worth nothing, I ended up with nothing left for anyone else!!!! I feel sorry for my husband because even though I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone else, I'm not everything I wish I could be for him. Whatever patience I had, whatever kindness, whatever thoughtfulness, all of these things that used to come naturally to me are gone. It's not that I don't want them to be there, but that year of being made to feel worthless by someone I cared so much about made me become this defensive, snappish person who attacks when my feelings get hurt instead of being more rational. I know that doesn't make sense, it was after all nearly 8 years ago, but I suppose it's just a really nasty defense mechanism that I can't shake. Oooooo, I just wish that I could have known that I didn't deserve to be treated that way back then (I didn't realize that at the time) and I could have broken it off rather than being strung along and made miserable! I also know I shouldn't place blame, especially on someone who had no intention in creating my monster, but I'm not going to make excuses for him anymore. Whether or not he meant to, he had a hand in this. So thanks so much. Thanks for helping me to become less than what I could be. And as for me now, I need to work on forgetting him and trying to find out how I can be better for everyone's sake.

Monday, January 19, 2004

I'm slowly sinking into a vat of sleep. I have become a Pez Head (you know, when you doze off and your head keeps leaning all the way back until you wake up and snap it forward). I don't know what's wrong with me today. I suppose it's because we have been slow on the phones, but I'm not complaining about that! : ) I can't wait to get home and lay down for a second. I'd do it here at work, but I'm afraid that I'd fall into a deep sleep and wake up alone in a dark office. They'd do that to me, you know.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Star Trek Guy called me again. He told me again how he helped liberate the humans from the Planet of the Apes. He also told me that he and James T. Kirk set off a bomb that killed the dinosaurs because earth needed to be regenerated (apparently Earth is a Genesis planet). I had to send out a mass e-mail and ask people not to transfer him to me anymore. I know I shouldn't talk to him, but A) he's a laugh riot and B) I feel really sorry for him. You can tell he's mentally handicapped and doesn't have anyone else to talk to. Darn my soft and bleeding heart!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2004

I thought I was going to die. I had such a bad headache last night. I know, I shouldn't complain - I mean, I can walk, I have food and shelter, I have a job and am going to school, but darn it, my head was hurting! I thought, I'll just go to sleep, it will go away. So I put the dogs to bed at about 8:30 and went to bed myself. An hour later I'm still awake and my head felt like a pulsing bag of crushed glass and poison. So I drugged myself with good-sleepy-painkillers and fell asleep and only barely woke up when Steve came in. I woke up pretty much pain free and took a preemptive pill in case the glass-and-poison wanted to stage a comeback. Okay, enough complaining!
You know, I've realized lately that I don't write very interesting things in my blog. I don't mean to be boring, I promise! I'll try to do better! : )
I have drawing class today. I've just got a really weird feeling about this class. It has, as my teacher said so eloquently, weird energy. I don't know. Maybe once we start doing stuff it will get better. It's just that I'm in a class with some hard core art-heads. You know, the people who can paint like Serratt and their drawings look like they can walk off the page. I'm lucky if I can make my drawings look like what they supposed to be, and as for drawing nude models, I hate it! I always giggle when I get to the naughty bits. Eeeeeeeccccchhhhhh....

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

I'm Freakin' Out Man...

Well, not really, but for some reason I'm hyper-hyper, like when you have too much caffine or sugar. I haven't had any caffine except for one piece of chocolate early this afternoon, and nothing other than a mug of hot chocolate after that which might cause a sugar problem. Eeeeeeeshhhhhh, it's weird. However, I now have a newfound love for hot chocolate with marshmallows. I've never really cared one way or another, but right now, I wish I had a giant tub full of hot chocolate and marshmallows that I could sit right in the middle of. That would be weird though. Who knows, maybe I can oppress my newfound passion on one or another of you soon. Not the sitting in hot chocolate thing, but the drinking of hot chocolate thing. It's really sad that I have to clarify that, huh? : )
Meanwhile, back in reality... I don't think I'm going to do well at all in my Contemporary Art and Issues class. I'm just not an analytical thinker, and you have to be that to do well. *Irritated* *Not just irritated, but depressed too* I still have 21 classes to go, and it's all because of the stupid minor I'm being forced to have. I suppose that the administration feels that since I'm an art major (and if I hear one more 'do you want fries with that' joke, I'm going to snap like a bean) it's best if I have a minor so that I can find a job. I don't want a job in my minor, I want to be a graphic artist and design wedding announcements and stationary! IS THAT SO WRONG?!
Anyways, It's almost time to go home, and I'm glad because I'm hungry and I don't want vending machine stuff. I bought SO many groceries last night so I should be able to find something. Steve is going out with Lee tonight so it will be a meal for one again.
I'm off like a dirty shirt!

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

I'm on my way to Middle "Earf". I just found a really fun link to a place where you can find your Elf name and your Hobbit name. My elf name is Linwe Tur-anion, and my hobbit name is Lila Loamsdown. I'm loving the elf name, but I'm not sure about the hobbit name. Do I look like a Lila?

Here are the links:

If you go and do this, e-mail me your names!

Yes, I have returned from my wonderful Disney World trip with Steve and his parents. We had a great time.
We set off on tuesday to take his grandma to the airport in Birmingham so she could fly back to Texas. I got really tickled at her because she has started requesting a wheelchair so that she won't get searched or have to take her shoes off. Of course, she ended up having to take her shoes off anyways because the security counter was in front of the wheelchair counter. We went from there to GA where we stayed with aunt Brenda and Uncle Gary. We also had a great time with Amy, Jon, Katie, and Greg. We all had dinner together and we talked for a long time. It was nice. We left wednesday morning and made it to Orlando. We went to Downtown Disney and shopped, which of course, I loved. The rest of the week we went to Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and MGM Studios. It was so much fun. The weather was beautiful for the first two days, the crowds weren't that bad, and we hardly ever had to stand in line. I totally recommend that if you ever go to Disney, go in January. It's still full of people, but it isn't miserably full like in summer. We got home on Sunday evening and we fell asleep so early. All in all, it was a wonderful trip. I'm really glad to be home though. Steve's parents are so funny. They rate a hotel by the kind of breakfast they serve. I laughed and laughed when they started talking about it. Mr. Lee is also a man after my own heart. When he travels, he likes to stoop at the roadside stands and country stores to buy fruit and jelly and things.
I started school yesterday. I was only able to have two classes this semester because of work. I'm taking Contemporary Art and Issues (which is going to bust my chops. Lots of research and *gasp* going to the library). I'm also taking intermediate drawing. I know, I know, it sounds like I have a really light load. I suppose I do, but it's still hard trying to work full time, going to school, and taking care of my home, husband, and dogs. Sigh. I really envy people who don't have to work and can focus on their school work and they get to graduate in a decent amount of time. I would love to be out of school and have an actual career right now. I know Steve would too. It's disheartning to hear of people I graduated with working on their doctorate degrees right now. SIGH. Oh well.
I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. I had some severe nighmares while we were traveling, and last night I dreamed that me and my friend Kenny were at my old high school watching a bunch of people destroy the gym. It was really weird. It was also way more complicated than that (and kind of scary) but I don't remember any other details! Somebody help me!
Well, I suppose that's all for now. I have to go to ID class soon. Wish me luck, I've heard this teacher is a heifer!

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Are you going to miss me? You'd better! : )
Boy, I'm dumb. I guess you could say (in the immortal words of Mechele) that I pulled a Kelly. I'd been having so much trouble posting to my blog, I kept getting the same error message saying that my Disk Quota Had Exceeded. Dummy me didn't realize that it was talking about my webspace and not the actual blog, so I went back and deleted every one of my posts to make room. Sigh. All this and my dear husband is a systems analyst. You'd think something would have rubbed off by now. : )
So let's have a collective "Duh" for me today.