Monday, January 31, 2011


1) OK, you know what? This crap is for the birds. I can't freaking breathe. I'm not talking about at night anymore, I mean I can't breathe during the day. I think that the night I was in the sleep clinic, they overinflated me or something. Yeah, I know that probably gives you mental images of me being floated down the street like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon, but something is definitely wrong. Ever since that first night, I feel like my chest is all stretched out, and that no matter how much I breathe in, I'm never getting enough air. I pant when I'm just trying to talk, and I can't sing or do anything very strenuous without feeling like I'm going to pass out. My chest feels like something is sitting on it. It may just be that my chest muscles are getting used in a different way and that is why I feel the way I do, but it's scary. You guys know how I am about thinking that I can't breathe! For all I know, it's all in my head. It goes in spells, so sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I can't even talk because I can't get enough air. Boo, stupid lungs.

2) I found out that the marketing department of the Sprocket (ptooey) got chopped during the recent restructuring of the departments. That's kind of crazy, isn't it? Who'd ever heard of a wholesale firing of an entire department? Luckily, the guys in Graphics got to keep their jobs, but geez, I feel terrible for the people who were let go. Well, I feel terrible for most of them. I only feel kind of bad for the lady who fired me. That's all she gets.

3) I should hear from the place where I had the job interview in the next couple of days. If I get the job, I hope it's a good place to work and that the people are nice to work with. It's always scary going to a new place, but it helps when the people around you are likable. They seemed nice the day I interviewed. We'll see!

4) I have found a yummy thing by complete accident! I bought a canister of McCann's Irish Oatmeal the other day, thinking is was just regular oatmeal. I opened it and saw that it was just chopped up oats instead of the flakes I'm used to. I had to go online to make sure I didn't get a defective batch, but apparently steel cut oats look like that. They take forever to cook, but oh my goodness, it is totally worth the wait! It doesn't make mushy oatmeal like I'm used to. It's like eating risotto. It's creamy and chewy and it's so very good!!!! Add a spoonful of Lyles Golden Syrup (all of these things are available at Publix, so pick some up the next time you go) and some chopped nuts and it is easily some of the best breakfast I've had in a very long time. It's also filling and does some nifty work toward lowering cholesterol. They also have a quick cooking kind, and there are shortcuts to making the stuff, but seriously...yum-0!

Thursday, January 27, 2011


1) When is it best to trust your instincts? Without going into much detail (at least not right now) I had a very strange experience. I was speaking with a new acquaintance, a perfectly nice person who didn't do or say anything strange or anything, and I got the absolute most violent shiver of "I need to get the hell away, right now" feeling that I've had in years. Seriously, it frightened me. There I was, having a conversation, and I wanted to bolt. It wasn't like the claustrophobic feelings I sometimes get when I'm in a closed room, or in the center of a row of chairs, I'm used to that. This was...weird. I was fine one second, and the next, I felt like I was on fire. Literally, it was like the air around me started to shimmer like the air above a fire, I could feel it shake, and on top of that a voice in my head said "I don't want to be here. I want to go...NOW!" It was very specific, very intense, and it scared the hell out of me. I kept control of myself, but it happened two more times. I know how weird that sounds, and I'm not trying to say I had some psychic epiphany that the person I was talking to was a serial killer or anything, but it happened and it worries me. I suppose it could have been anything...some weird hormone surge, a reaction to the medication I had taken for my headache, stress from everything I had going on this week, alien mind control rays...I don't know. All I know is that there was no rational reason at all to feel the way I did, and now I have this sense of dread about seeing this person again. I can't just never speak to this person again either, that isn't an option. It isn't that I don't feel safe with them or think they'll hurt me or be mean to me or's just this intense feeling, as instinctive as pulling my hand away from a hot stove burner. I tried to explain it to my mother, and I'm fairly certain she thinks I'm crazy. It even sounds crazy to my own ears, but I can't deny the way I felt. I know, weird, right?

2) Speaking of stressful things, I had to go for another sleep study Tuesday night, and it was just as much fun as the last time I was there. This time I was being fitted with a CPAP machine and being tested as to what kind I was going to need. There was no denying that I was going to need one, unfortunately. The results of my last sleep study showed that I would stop breathing anywhere from 20 to 30 times every hour and my blood oxygen levels fell to 68%. To give you an idea where that falls on a scale, people who don't have hypoxia tend to have resting oxygen levels of about 98-100%. My sleep apnea has little to do with snoring and a lot to do with simply not breathing. I had the same technician as last time, which was good, and all the same wires glued to my head and face, which was not good. The only difference this time was that instead of that oxygen tube stuck up my nose, I had a mask vacuum sealed over my nose and a big hose leading to an air compressor. I slept horribly. The beds are so hard and uncomfortable, and I had (I think) 8 wires glued on my head, 8 on my face, 2 on my chest, one on my side, 4 on my legs and an oxygen reader clamped on my finger, which makes it hard to get into a comfortable position. The mask itself was cumbersome, but not as terrible as I thought it would be. It was nice to have air! I still didn't sleep much, though. The next morning, the tech told me that even with the machine, I hold my breath, so they tried a cycle on the machine that would blow air in puffs and then suddenly lower the pressure to force me to exhale. I remember that because it felt like they were sucking the air out of my lungs...I told them I'd rather hold my breath thankyouverymuch. In the end, the tech still didn't know what to do for me, but she said I really needed to have a CPAP to keep my O2 levels up, so I am now the proud owner of a mini air compressor and a mask to sleep in. I've named it HAL. If I can manage to keep it on even half of the night without pulling it off in my sleep, it will be a miracle.

3) Oooh, speaking of things I do in my sleep! Heehee! I have a strange habit of pulling off my socks in the night and stuffing them under my pillow. I don't know when this started, but I've been making the bed and found like, three pairs under my pillow at once. The other night, though, was the funniest. Apparently just stuffing them under my pillow isn't good enough anymore. I woke up holding my socks, and they were folded! I'm now folding laundry in my sleep. If I can just do dishes and go to the gym in my sleep, everything would be gravy!

4) The job interview went well! I think I could do the job fine. I'm not sure I'm the best fit for the position, though. It isn't that I couldn't do it and do it well, but it's not like anything I've done before, really. Well, at least it would be a lot different from what I was doing at the Sprocket (ptooey) but nothing I couldn't handle. We'll see. I don't know how I came across to the people I interviewed with...I felt all awkward and like I was not making sense! Of course, who doesn't feel that way during a job interview? The building where the office is located inside an old, historic mill and it is a really cool place. They kept the original floors and windows, so it's unusual, but still an interesting layout. I am slightly worried that personality wise, I wouldn't fit in there, though. It isn't that the people there are bad or that I'm so dynamic or anything like that, but I just felt like a square peg. Probably just because I don't know them well yet. Just another one of my "feelings" I guess! :) I'm supposed to hear back from them either by the end of this week or the beginning of the next, so I'll keep you guys posted.

5) My cousin Janice and her husband are on a cruise somewhere around Africa, and she's been sending a bunch of us pictures of the places she's been visiting! My traveling foot gets itchy every time she sends us a new batch of images!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I wish I were sleeping right now. I woke up at around 2:30 this morning, completely wide awake, with a mixture of nerves and a brain that won't shut off. The nerves part is because I have a job interview in a few hours! I haven't really spoken about it here because, sort of just sneaked up on me.

I actually got a request for a phone interview while I was in Disney World. I was slowly inching my way through my email on Steve's iPhone when I saw an email address I didn't recognize. I almost deleted it, because it was about a job I didn't remember applying for and I was afraid it was one of those "You signed up for a job search site, so we'll send you periodic updates about a thousand jobs that are absolutely not what you are looking for!" I actually get those already. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that it was a response to a resume I sent out semi-blind. I found out that some smaller businesses will sometimes post job listings on sites, but not list their business name so that they don't get blasted with calls and resumes. I had no idea where I was applying to when I sent in my resume...which is why the name of the company didn't sound familiar.

Anyway, I had my phone interview and in a few hours I have an "in-person" interview. I'm not sure why I'm nervous! I mean, sure, I can understand being a little apprehensive since it's a totally new thing...but I'm not placing all my eggs in this basket or anything. If I get the job, yay, but if I don't I won't be devastated. I've prayed about it, and I know I'll be steered into the right direction one way or the other. I'm not the only person vying for this job, and I may not be the best fit, which I've accepted.

So why am I awake at this hour when I should be getting my beauty sleep?

Honestly? I'm afraid of embarrassing myself! I did fine on the phone interview, at least I assume so since he wanted to meet me in person, but when I get nervous, I get weird. I'm afraid I'll be too...Kelly. Not the good kind of Kelly, but the "Oh, Lord, I just said something inappropriate about zombies or latex fetishes and I don't know why" Kelly. Seriously, that happens to me sometimes. It happens before I can stop it! It's like that scene in Austin Powers where the unfreezing process temporarily disables his ability for inner monologue.

I'm also worried that my portfolio isn't going to be extensive enough. I should have been adding files to it the whole time I worked at the Sprocket (ptooey) but since I had no intentions of leaving there at the time, it didn't really seem important! They were all there at my fingertips at the time, so I figured I'd have them whenever I needed them. Then, of course, my Mac succumbs to a power surge and a lot of my files get deleted or borked because of program issues. I even emailed my former boss and begged for files, which he didn't send to me because he was too busy. In my eyes, my portfolio looks anorexic and doesn't completely display my abilities, but it's all I've got. At least I got a chance to explain that to the man who interviewed me. I hope he believed me! If not, I'll take them on a tour through the Sprocket (ptooey) and point things out. Oy.

What if I get stuck in traffic or something and I'm late?! What if I fall down, or accidentally knock things over? What if I'm standing near a giant, artificial floral arrangement and I somehow get my purse strap tangled in it and when I walk away from it, I wind up dragging it across the lobby with me? What if I make an offhand and completely innocuous, albeit inappropriate, remark about Russian amputees and then find out the senior artist's name is Boris Kalashnikov and he has a wooden leg?!

I have a new outfit that is so conservative and "corporate" that I'm afraid I'm going to feel like I'm in a costume.

I guess that is why I'm nervous. It doesn't make sense, I know. Pray for me.

Saturday, January 22, 2011


Some of you may be wondering why I've written extensively about our trip to Disney World, and have yet to actually mention going into the parks, right? guys must me new here.

It is no big secret that I am not a big fan of Disney World, or hell, Disney in general. I know, I know, it's the happiest frickin' place on earth. When you are there, you puke rainbows and sneeze fluffy kittens (at least that is what their marketing department wants you to believe.) I honestly and truly wish I was as in love with the place as Steve is, because I'd be very glad to share that experience with him, but I simply don't feel that way. It makes me feel terribly ungrateful for the opportunity to go there, when there are easily thousands of people who'd love to be in my place. I know that I am very lucky to be able to visit a place that is so important to Steve and literally millions of other people. The place just does very little for me. I actually had a moment of looking around and thinking about the whole situation, and it made me feel bad. Here I was, surrounded by thousands of people who were peeing their pants in excitement, drinking the kool-aid, and I was not understanding the joy. It's an amusement park, albeit a top notch one, but still, an amusement park. Nothing in it is real. It's a big, shiny, elaborate, well run, beautifully detailed movie set that empties into a gift shop. As much as I want to, I just don't get the attraction at all.

Don't misunderstand me, I really enjoyed our vacation. I really did! I enjoyed the traveling, the shopping, the food and even some parts of the parks are things I like to do. Steve and I had a good time! I didn't have a bad time in any way. I want to make that very clear.

Animal Kingdom is lovely, and I liked seeing the animals. The Everest ride is fun, and there is a safari ride where you get to see all kinds of things living in a more or less natural habitat. True, I was almost decapitated by a flock of long beaked birds, but heck, that could happen anywhere! :) It also rained the day we were there, although we didn't get too wet. The worst part was that my jeans got wet at the ankles from being dragged through puddles, but that happens no matter where I go, if it rains.

Epcot is probably my favorite of all of the parks. I love the scientific stuff and the aquarium (which has manatees, and manatees just make me happy in general.) I also enjoy the World Showcase, because A) that's probably as close to world traveling as I'll get for the most part and B) shopping! It never fails that shopping in "France" always makes me feel like I'm being judged, though.

We didn't spend much time in Hollywood Studios this time since there wasn't a whole lot we were interested in doing. I was going to try the American Idol thing this time, but, Steve told me I should, but it would have taken way too long and neither of us wanted to be stuck there all day just doing one thing. We did see the Indiana Jones stunt show, and a very cute baby sitting in front of us found me quite fascinating. I think babies can see my halo... ; ) We also rode the Tower of Terror, which was actually a lot of fun. I wish we hadn't been stuck in there with a bunch of screaming teenage girls, but almost anywhere you go in Disney World, you get stuck somewhere with screaming teenage girls. It's just a fact.

The Magic Kingdom is Steve's favorite park, and my least favorite. It's just too...cute. Too happy (dopey, sneezy, sleepy, bashful, grumpy & doc) for my tastes. I do love how they pay such attention to detail, though. Everything is just so, and perfect down to the last detail. I did have a bad moment in "It's a Small World" when I started feeling like I was hallucinating. It might have had something to do with not getting very much sleep, but the robot children were WATCHING ME. They want to eat my heart so that they can stay young forever. People think I'm exaggerating about that place scaring me, but I'm not. I get cold chills. Ugh.

Anyways, I used to think I hated the place, but I realized on this trip that I don't hate it at all. I nothing it. Seriously, I have an overwhelming sense of MEH about the place. I mean, some of it is nice, obviously, and some of it is actually fun. As a whole, though, it's like eating a bowl of brightly colored, bland vanilla ice cream. Not the awesome Ben & Jerry's World's Best Vanilla, though. More like a big bowl of McDonald's vanilla soft serve that constantly tells you that all your dreams will come true. The faster it gets shoveled in, the less you taste it and the more likely you are to walk away with a headache and slight nausea. Nothing is real about the place; nothing changes. There isn't one square inch of the place where something might happen that hasn't been experienced by someone before. There are no little discoveries you can make, no places that haven't been worn smooth by a billion other footsteps, no place were any one-of-a-kind memories can be made. It's like a giant pair of bowling shoes: countless others before and after you will wear them. Only these shoes will never wear out. They are eternal. ETERNAL BOWLING SHOES, Y'ALL!!!!!!!

*pant pant pant pant*

Here is the thing: I wish everyone could go to Disney World at least once, just to experience it. If they love it, awesome. If they love it I hope they go back a thousand times and get married there and take their children there (even though the kids will get very little out of it until they are old enough not to be in strollers) and go on second honeymoons there and die on the Disney golf courses when they are old and gray and tired of living and then get their cremains sprinkled over Cinderella's Freaking Castle. That is my wish for the people who love it.

As for me...I don't love it. I've been there before and I'll probably go back again because Steve loves it, and I'm happy to make him happy by going back. However, please don't ever expect me to jump on the Disney bandwagon. It will not happen. Unless they pay me a lot. Because I can be bought. ; )

So, there you go! That is how my trip to Disney World went! Hooray!

*Cue Tinkerbell and her sparkly butt to fly around my blog and blow it up with fairy dust*


Wednesday, January 19, 2011



Anyways, so where was I?


It doesn't take a very astute person to realize that I enjoy food. Anyone can look at me and know that! :) There are some really fantastic restaurants in the Disney World complex, and by the time we left there, I felt like I had eaten at all of them. We had the dining plan, which I recommend if you take a trip to Disney, that allowed us to get reservations at a lot of very nice places, Places certainly much nicer than we would go to at home. It's funny, but I don't think I've ever been as aware of how often we eat as I was on this trip. It was probably because we had reservations all over the darn place and we had to jump on the Monorail and travel to where we were eating. We don't eat out that much at home anymore, so I guess that's why it seems like we were constantly eating! Heck, I didn't mind, since I wasn't the one cooking! :)

We ate at a place called Yak & Yeti, which served neither yak nor yeti as far as I know. I wish I could be more specific about the kind of food it was, but all I know was that it was in the Asia part of Animal Kingdom. The food was great, and I even ate snow peas! Crunchy snow peas (the thought of them at this point makes me kind of gaggish because of the texture, but they tasted fine.) The waitress asked us if we had run the marathon (apparently, there is a Disney marathon...who knew?) and Steve and I just laughed. Honestly, do either of us look like we could run to the end of a driveway, much less a whole marathon? Heehee. That night, we got dressed up-ish because we had a reservation at The California Grill, which was on the 15th floor of our hotel. It's a great place to go during the evening when the Magic Kingdom has it's fireworks show, so we got to see them up close and personal (although, not as clearly as we would have liked.) I was really afraid that I was under dressed for this place, because it was a lovely, classy restaurant, so I was a little self conscious. However, I felt much better when I saw the lady in cut off sweat-pants come in. They even have a sign that says that you can't wear your swim-suit to dinner, so...yeah. I didn't need to worry I was under dressed! Also, and I say this as someone who doesn't have children and who probably doesn't understand the fine details of parenting, but if you take your children to a nice restaurant...teach them some damn manners and don't let them wallow in the floor. Seriously, I get that kids don't sit still and eat like adults do, and I get that when your on vacation a lot of your regular rules go out the window, but a person who has to share a restaurant with you on occasion, I don't want your children crawling under my table or throwing stuff that could get on me, or shoving me out of the way so they can get to the window I'm sitting near. Your children need to be taken care of, even if you're on vacation, OK? Please do so. Chef Mickey's was just down-stairs. If your kid can't keep from acting like a feral cat, take them downstairs and let them climb on a giant mouse. And stay off my lawn.

The next night, we ate at The San Angel Inn, in Epcot. It's our traditional Epcot restaurant located in "Mexico." I love the interior of the building, which is made to look like an outdoor market place at twilight. The food is very good, if not something I'd eat very often. Also, it was the first time I'd ever eaten a churro. I'd go back to Disney World just for the churros, man. It's even fun to say: Churrrrrrrrro.

Wednesday night we ate at 'Ohana, which is located in the Polynesian Resort. It is Hawaiian, of course, if you couldn't tell by the name. I'd never eaten Hawaiian food before, and they do a fine job at preparing it! At least I think so. It could have been terrible as far as Hawaiian food goes, but since I'd never had any... I was impressed. :) It's kind of a family style place and I swear that they bring you more food than it is physically possible for two people to eat. They had the most delicious bread I'd ever eaten, and I was told they'd e-mail me the recipe if I requested it, which I did. I'M STILL WAITING, 'OHANA. They also had great salad dressing, for which I found the recipe online. Hey, anything that makes it easier for me to eat veggies is a-OK with me. You should give it a try. I made it when we got home and it tasted just as good! My only problem with this otherwise fine establishment was the entertainment, and I feel kind of bad about that. Honestly, the entertainment was strictly for the children, probably so the parents could eat in peace. It wasn't the fact that it was for children that bothered me. The kids were even kind of cute when they'd follow the lady around doing the "hang loose" thing with their hands, it was the lady singing. It wasn't even really her voice, because she had a lovely voice. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if they didn't pipe her singing, loudly, over your table. She was actually Hawaiian, and she played a ukulele, and dear was loud. It was also very cheerful. Very, very, cheerful. Creepy cheerful. It is my firm belief that this lady goes home and kills puppies or something to counterbalance the cheerfulness of her job. I don't see how she can stay sane otherwise. There isn't a way I can explain how she sounded just by writing, so you'll just have to take my word for it, Cousin.

Later on in the week, we also ate at Kona Cafe, which is another Hawaiian restaurant in that resort. The steak...OMG, the steak. We also had some rather annoying people sitting next to us. Some very loud, very "New Yawk," kind of people who apparently had become so annoying that you could see it on their waiter's face. If you can make a Disney employee look like that, you must be awful! :)

The last full service place we went to was The Crystal Palace, which is inside Magic Kingdom. I don't even know if you can call it a full service place, since it was a buffet, but the food was great! Our waiter looked so much like my old Agribusiness teacher that I almost called him Mr. Harris! He was very cheerful, but not 'Ohana singer cheerful, so I was OK with that. The place was packed, PACKED, with people. It was one of those places where the people in Animal suits come in and interact with the kids while they eat. I hate those things. I mean, for the children, it's OK. What kid wouldn't love a real-life Tigger or Pooh to hug and whatever. Me? They heeb me out. I've worn a similar costume before. I know that there is a person inside of those things, and I know that THEY know I'm an adult and don't need their germy costumes that some kid has wiped their nose on, coming near my food. I swore I'd punch the first mascot that came near me right in the solar plexus. Luckily, Piglet was only able to get to Steve since I was on the far side of the table, so he/she didn't touch me. I can be gracious to the person trapped inside if all I have to do is wave to them. :) I found a recipe for the best thing in that place that I ate, and I sincerely think you need to make it. I'm not kidding, it was awesome. I even went back to get more for dessert, and I chose it over all of the chocolate stuff AND it wasn't even sweet, so you know it had to be good.

So, there you go! I kind of hate that such a long post was dedicated to just food, but it was such a big part of the experience I felt I needed to share. :)


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Well, I'm back!

As some of you may already know, Steve and I went on a week long vacation to Florida. Orlando, Florida to be specific. You probably don't even have to guess what we did while we were there, do you? Probably not. However, for the three international visitors who will somehow find this blog by accident and go to the trouble to read it in hopes that it will help them practice their English skills, I'll clarify: we went to Disney World.


Usually, when I go on vacation, I blog about my experiences along the way! That's so I don't forget anything that happened. However, I couldn't do that this time because we didn't take a computer along with us. We had the iPad, but since the resort didn't offer a wireless network, we couldn't use it to get online. The closest we had to an Internet connection we could use was Steve's iPhone, and I'm fairly certain I would have gone blind trying to type long entries into a device only slightly larger than a pack of playing cards. So I will just have to give you what I remember!


The flight down to Orlando was nice because a) AirTran has a direct flight from Huntsville to Orlando! Woot! I was so glad, because I hate the Atlanta airport with the heat of a thousand suns. Also, b) we were able to upgrade our seats to business class*, which held the untold comfort of actual leg room. *Yes, I know first class may be better than business class, but dammit, it was as close as we could get!

Since we had done a very similar trip recently, in 2009, we already knew where to go and what to do. We got checked into the Contemporary Resort fairly quickly and easily, which was way better than last time. The hotel was lovely, really! I mean, it looked a little bit dated as far as decor, but it was still really nice. It was also nice to have a monorail station right outside of our room. You could just walk downstairs and jump on the train! It was much better than having to ride the bus!


The weather was gorgeous. I was so glad to have missed the snow up here, and the temperature the day we arrived was about 78 degrees. Even so...I saw people walking out of the building wearing parkas. PARKAS! Seriously, how hot does your home country have to be for you to need a parka in 78 degree weather? Geez-Louise. It really only got cold one day, and even that was not so bad. I mean, it got uncomfortable if the wind blew on you too much, but it was probably in the low forties or something. I, at least, had the wherewithal to wear long pants, so I was better off than a lot of other people who only had summer clothes. How hard is it to look at a 10 day forecast online, people? Even Florida has cold weather occasionally. Also, just FYI, Disney will price gouge their gloves if an unexpected cold snap happens. $9.99 for a pair of 50 cent gloves? Fughettaboutit.


If there was one continuing theme to the week, it was that we spent an unusual amount of time dodging birds and bird poop. I'm not kidding even in the least about that. It all started on Monday while we were in Animal Kingdom. There were these white birds with LONG curved beaks that kinds of hang out everywhere down there. I don't think they were even part of any kind of exhibit or anything, they were just there. Everything was fine until one of them tried to kill me. OK, maybe that is an exaggeration, but you know what? I didn't see anyone else getting buzz-bombed by these birds. It was like they waited for me to walk by and they'd take off straight towards my head. Then they'd follow me with their doll's eyes... Ugh. We also had birds getting into the hotel through the monorail openings. By the last day we were there, so many sparrows were begging for food in the food court area that Steve literally had to dodge a bird while he was eating breakfast. I thought I'd choke, I was laughing so hard. I was sitting with my back to the majority of the restaurant, and he got this panicked look on his face, and then *SWOOP* a sparrow flew right at him. He looked terrified. It was so, so funny! The worst, the very worst thing, though, was the morning we heard this WHUMP on the balcony door. I was in the dressing room when Steve heard it and told me to come and look. Somehow, a rock hard bread roll landed on our balcony. We have no idea how it got there, because we were on the 7th floor and didn't think anyone could have thrown it up, so it probably slipped from an upper story. Anyways, with that hunk of bread, birds arrived. It was a sea gull and a couple of smaller birds at first. I thought they were cute, so I threw out a couple of pretzels so that they could all have some food. Unfortunately, that triggered some kind of "SUCKER" signal and our balcony was attacked from all sides by birds. Not only did they attack, they... and honestly, there is no delicate, southern-lady way to say this... but they shat all over our balcony. It was like some kind of poop war was going on and there was only a thin panel of glass between Steve and I, and a literal shit-storm. I've never seen anything like it. They were like some feathered version of the Luftwaffe and our balcony was Poland. Disgusting. I managed to go out and pick up the roll and throw it as far as I could away from the hotel, which got rid of the birds. I was trying to throw it to the roof of the convention center down below us, but I don't know where it landed because I ran back inside and hid out of fear that we'd get thrown out of the hotel because I was throwing stuff off of the balcony. After that, the lovely balcony where we had spent so many evenings watching the fireworks was completely unusable. Bleh.


Thursday, January 06, 2011


The doctor's office called today with the results of my sleep study. I don't understand most of what she was talking about, but from what I could understand, I'm surprised I'm not dead.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and enjoy breathing while I'm awake, since I don't seem to do very much of it while I'm asleep.

1) I did a weird thing yesterday. Weird even by my standards, and now I've begun questioning my own motives. After church last night, Mr. Lee, Steve and I went to Cracker Barrel for dinner. As we were waiting to be seated, a man came up to me and said he liked my hat. I was wearing the last hat I made, which was made up of scraps of different kinds of yarn that I had left over from my hat making adventure, so it was kind of crazy looking, but colorful. He asked if it was handmade, and I told him it was, and he said he liked it and that he collected hats. So I gave him mine. I didn't really think about it, but I told him I had lots of them (I do, of course) and that he could have it if he wanted. He was kind of flabbergasted, but he accepted the hat. He also gave me a hug and got my e-mail address. His name was Don. I have no idea why I gave him my hat! Maybe he only took it because he didn't want to hurt my feelings, or maybe he really liked it. I have no idea. It seemed like a natural thing to do at the time, but now it just seems...weird. I mean, if the man had been homeless and needed the thing, I'd almost understand it, but he wasn't. I'm not even sure why I feel so odd about it now, but I do. I guess I'm the Oprah of hats. "HAAAAAAAAAATS! YOU GET A HAT! YOU GET A HAT! YOU ALL GET HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS!" Oh, well, I hope he enjoys the hat, and if nothing else, at least he'll have a story about the weird lady in Cracker Barrel that gave it to him.

2) Poor Steve. I've mentioned before that he had to get minor foot surgery before Christmas, and he's been doing well since it healed. He had an appointment yesterday for a checkup, thinking the doc was just going to look at it, but the doctor decided that he needed to poke it and stab it with stuff. He was limping kind of badly by the time he got home last night, but he was OK until the dog decided to stomp on his foot. Butler weighs about 80-85, possibly 90 needless to say, Steve is home today with his foot up. Butler didn't even say he was sorry!

3) Speaking of limping guys, but not really, there was a guy at the sleep clinic last night that looked SO much like Hugh Laurie that I had to do a double take. He was much thinner than Dr. House, but he could have been his twin otherwise. I think he must know he looks like him too, because he had the same hair style and beard scruff as the actor. Had he actually been a doctor instead of a patient, it would have really been freaky.

4) OK, now that I know I stop breathing in the night, I know why I wake up in CrazyTown sometimes. Apparently, it's oxygen deprivation to my brain (which may explain a lot about me, actually.) I won't mind losing CrazyTown, even though I'll miss the stories. I have a concern, though. I'm worried that if I finally get the air I need while I'm sleeping, I'll quit dreaming. I don't know if dreaming (my kind of dreaming) has anything to do with lack of oxygen or not, though. I dream a lot and very vividly, and as much as I'd like to get a full night's sleep and be rested, I don't want to lose my dreams. :(

Wednesday, January 05, 2011



I just got home from spending the night in the Sleep Disorder Clinic, where I honestly feel as if I'd been in some kind of torture chamber where they were trying to extract information from me.

I was very apprehensive about doing this sleep study, not so much because I thought it would hurt or be scary, but because it freaked me out to know that someone was going to be watching me while I slept. I know how dumb that sounds, because there are much worse things to worry about, but it squicked me out to know that I was going to be watched while I slept! What if I forgot and talked to myself or picked my nose or something?! Luckily I did neither, and it turned out that being watched was the least unpleasant thing about the whole ordeal.

Now, don't get me wrong, it was probably a great experience as far as sleep studies go. The assisting nurse/technician was awesome. She came in to explain everything to me and she was really nice. She managed to make me comfortable at the same time as she was wiring me into what seemed like quite an elaborate computer system. I had so many freaking electrodes stuck to my head, my face, my chest, my legs with gooey silicon gel, and some kind of clamp thing on my finger to monitor my oxygen levels. I also had one of those air things that go into your nose, but instead of a lovely stream of air flowing into my body, there was another sensor stuck into it. I felt like I was in that scene from "The Matrix" when we see that humans are stored in the pink goo pods with all of the cables jammed into them.

Seriously, I Googled Matrix Goo Pod and
found this.
I love the Internet!

I was tired when I got there, so I didn't think I'd have any trouble falling asleep, but I was incorrect! Have you ever tried to sleep while being hardwired into the Matrix? Some of you probably have, and can sympathize, but it was hard. First off, you can't move freely at all. In fact, every time I moved, I felt like I was going to accidentally rip my skin off. It wasn't that the electrodes hurt, but they (and the many, many wires attached to them) pulled at me at the slightest movement. I also felt like I was being choked by the thing in my nose, which honestly, doesn't help with the whole "breathing issue" that I already have. I already have this huge fear of being suffocated, and dozing off, only to wake up feeling like someone has looped a noose around my neck, is scary! I even ripped off the nose thing in my sleep at one point and the poor lady had to come in and put it back on. She said she saw me almost do it again later, and she had to call me through the speaker next to my bed and tell me not to.

All of those wires had an endpoint on my body somewhere.
Also, I was wearing that stuff around my neck when I took the picture.
I was like some kind of medical Flavor Flav.

I even had a honest to goodness claustrophobic panic attack at one point because I felt trapped in the bed. I came so close to ripping all of my wires off and leaving. My technician said that had happened before to other people and messed up there results, so I had to lie there and mentally talk myself into calming down. That is not easy at all. Apparently I actually went back to sleep at some point, according to the sensors, but I remember very vividly looking around the room and staring at the infrared "Ghost Hunter's" camera they had trained on me.

I actually had a dream the lady came in and told me I was ready to go, and I was so grateful that I almost stood up and walked out! I'm glad I didn't because I was still wired into the equipment and would probably have simultaneously ripped a cabinet out of the wall as well as a few chunks of my hair. When she finally did call and tell me I could get up, I was so relieved. She said that my oxygen levels get very low at night and I'll have to come in for another study, only this time it will be with a mask on! The fun never ends, people! It never ends!

LATER: I finally had to go to sleep for reals when I got home. I wanted to take a shower first, because I was still sticky from the silicon gel, but I was too tired to wait. When I finally woke up, I felt like I had been beaten with multiple sticks. Also, I'm still sticky. This whole thing had better pay off in some way, or...well... I'll probably just crouch in a corner and cry at how tired I am.