Wednesday, January 31, 2007


* Sarah Silverman is not now, nor has she ever been, funny. Any adult who needs to resort to potty humor and inappropriate jokes to be funny has issues. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I can't for the life of me understand how people who are obviously nothing more than infantile minded tellers of poop, fart, and sex jokes become celebrities. Case in point, Howard Stern. He's a multi-millionaire just for being a mysogonistic pig. Wow. Welcome to America. /rant

*So, Steve and I were not on American Idol last night. Well, we were, but we were in a crowd of 11,000 other people screaming and waving our arms, so unless you have a pretty sharply honed "Kelly Sensor", you couldn't tell where we were. I can't believe how little of the actual crowd footage that was actually used. We stood out there on the steps of the civic center for over an hour waving at the camera and screaming, and then we spent another hour or more singing Sweet Home Alabama, screaming, and waving our arms at the camera. Oh well, as they say, that's showbiz. : ) I'm sort of glad I didn't make it past the first round of auditions after watching the show last night. Simon Cowell is MEAN! I understand why he has to kind of be that way, I guess, but geez. He's a very damaged little man. I remembered seeing a couple of the people who were on the show while I was at the auditions. The girl with long hair especially. I felt so sorry for the people who cried when they were rejected, because I probably would have done the same thing! However, and I say this with no false modesty at all, I know I was better than some of the people they let go to the next round! Of course, maybe I didn't look as if I would make enough of a scene if they were mean to me. They sure didn't judge me right, did they? Heeheehee : )

*I had so much fun in my Theater history class yesterday. We were reading a Greek comedy called (and I don't know if I'm spelling this right) Lysistrata. I got to read the part of Lysistrata for the first act, and I actually enjoyed it. I probably would have liked to have done theater if I had the chance. Maybe I'll audition for the next community theater play and be second sunflower to the left, or something! You'd come and watch, right?

*I have big hair today. Not Trailer-Park big, but big enough for a guy I work with to make a comment. My hair has gotten so long that I don't know what to do with it anymore. I can finally put it in a ponytail for the first time in many years, but I don't like to because it makes my head hurt when I take it out! Clippies! Must get more CLIPPIES!

*The other night one of our dogs got mad at me for not having his food in his bowl on time and he took a poo on the carpet in our bedroom. The sad thing is, we didn't know about it for an hour or so. : ( Neither one of them would own up to it, but I think I know who did it. He was the one who looked the most ashamed of himself when I asked them about it. That has to be the worst thing about owning any kind of animal. Yuck. I'm just glad that Steve doesn't do that when I don't have dinner ready on time!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Wow, I'm suddenly in a very good and somewhat giggly mood.

Maybe I shouldn't have had that seventh margarita at lunch. : )

Here is a random link to some cute puppies.

That is all.

Tonight is the Birmingham edition of the American Idol auditions. There is a slim to none chance that either Steve or I will be seen, but they did keep the camera on our section during some crowd shots. If nothing else, his huge head may be obvious to anyone looking! Don't forget to watch, just in case!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Sometimes, that whole Baptist thing about not dancing doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Check out the groom. One had to think he was a little too into it, right?

So funny...


That's right, folks. It's another issue of Weekend Update, Kelly style!

Friday was work, of course. Our HR senior VP had her retirement party that afternoon, so we all went to say goodbye. I can't remember how long they said she had been here, but they did mention that she had hired over 10,000 people! Of course, you've got to count all of the counselors and temps, but still, that's a heck of a lot! She's a sweet lady, so I hope she enjoys her retirement. Later that evening, Steve and I went to Target and got dinner. When we came home, I had to request that we NOT watch "Stargate SG1" or "Threshold", which he complied with, but we ended up watching the original "Stargate" movie from 1994. I remember renting that when it came out on video, and I remembered liking it, so I was okay with that. I ended up working on a wedding gift that I'm making, so I didn't have to pay that close of attention! : )

Saturday I woke up insanly early. It's just my luck that I can't wake up on days I should, but I wake up really early on days I don't have to. :P Anyways, Steve and I had to go to the post office for stamps and such. I don't like going to the post office. The people behind the counter make me nervous! I was also wearing a t-shirt with the COBRA logo on it (G.I. Joe style) and the guy working there said "OH! Cobra! Where are the Joes?" Note to self, wear shirts without logos next time. : ) When we got home we had to part ways. I had to go to the bank and get groceries, and Steve had a date. The stupid computers were down at the back, so the check I deposited wasn't going to be entered right away. Of course, I had to get groceries regardless, so that was a fun game of "Will my check clear or not!" Luckily, everything went fine. So I got groceries and lunch, and by the time Steve got home I had a headache that wouldn't die. I fell asleep, pretty sure I was in for a massive migrane, but it never got as bad as that. Maybe the nap helped. Josh had called and asked us if we wanted to go to dinner, but my head was still hurting and I didn't want to go anywhere, so we stayed home. For the rest of the evening, I was treated to "Stargate SG1". Whee.

Sunday was church, of course. Then lunch with the family. My mom recently had the cabinets changed so that they no longer hang over the stove. It was weird! It looked totally different, but then I'd been used to the old cabinets for 20 years. Steve and I came home and fell asleep, then he went to church while I stayed home and did homework. Oh yes, it's that time of year again. Gah! I had panicked and thought I was supposed to be writing a whole paper last night, but after checking, I found out I'm just supposed to have proof of research. Of course, then I couldn't find anything on the subject I was looking for. It's enough to make you want to rip out your own eyes! I also got an e-mail from the mom of my friend who had the transplant. Sara had gotten out of the hospital last week, but then had to go back for some small complications. Hopefully she will be out again soon and on the mend. Again. Just remember to keep praying!

So that was my weekend!

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Just for Funzies!

I got another fill-it-out thingie.

East Limestone High School... and what I did there.

1. Who WERE your best friends?
-Sara Ultz and Daniel Orr

2. What sports did you play?
-Sports? HAHAHAHA! I was in the band. I didn't even march, I was in the Pit!

3. What kind of car did you drive?
-Red Pontiac Grand Am

4. It's Friday night, where were you?
- Football games in the fall, work the rest of the year.

5. Were you a party animal?
- No. I was never invited to any parties.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
- Oh yeah

7. Ever skip school?
- No, I was a good girl.

8. Were you a nerd?
- More of a geek, I think. I was the "girl who liked star trek."

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?

10. Can you sing the fight song?
- I can hum it. It didn't have any words.

11. Who was your favorite teacher?
- Ronald Harris

12. Favorite class?
- Band/Music or Agribuisness

13. What was your school's full name?
- East Limestone High School

14. School mascot?
- Indian *gasp* how un-PC!

15. Did you go to Prom?
- I went to 4 of them. Three of them I had a date for, the other one my date punked out on me. :P

16. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
- Not just no, but HELL no.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
- Singing the Alma mater song and being kept on stage by the teachers until it was over, so I didn't get to throw my hat with everyone.

18. Who was your high school sweetheart?
- Hmmmm. I didn't date much, but that would have to be Jason. Maybe Kenny, but he lived in another town so I don't know if he counts.

19. Where were you on senior skip day?
- I spent most of it on the phone trying to hunt down my date to a cook-out because he didn't show up. I was TICKED.

20.Did you have a job your senior year?
- I was a cashier at Winn-Dixie.

21. Where did you go most often for lunch?
- Journalism room. Membership had it's privileges.

22. Have you gained weight since then?
- Indeed I have, but we don't like to mention it.

23. What did you do after graduation?
- Not as much as I wanted to do, that's for sure.

24. When did you graduate?
- 1996

25. Who was your Senior prom date?
- Brian Lindsay (mine), Kevin Whisenant (his)

26. Are you going to your 10 year class reunion?
- Nope. It was canceled.

27. Who was your home room teacher?
- Ms. King, the Spanish teacher. Ole.

Friday, January 26, 2007

I put blackberries in my smoothie this morning and now I've got seeds between my teeth. I don't like it. : P Taste's pretty good, though.

Through the magic of technology, I can now make a smoothie every morning without pulling out the industrial sized blender that I got as a wedding gift! Yay! For Christmas, I got a Target gift card from my sister and I purchased a Magic Bullet blender thingie. It's awesome. You should get one too! Unfortunately, since I didn't buy it online, I didn't get all of the "But Wait, There's More!" stuff. That's okay, though. It would just be more stuff to clean!

I was on time again this morning! Just FYI!

Yesterday I got a call from one of the ladies in a department for which I had recently made some signs. They weren't complicated, but they took me a long time to do because they had to be designed from scratch and mounted differently than I would normally do it. Well, and I should have known they'd do this, they called me and told me that I needed to add an arrow. A stinking arrow, because apparently all of the other signage that points to the different parts of the center couldn't possibly lead them to where they would need to go. Also, I'd need to remove a couple of the items in the BORDER because we don't sell them here. Um, I don't mean to be rude, but it's a border. A picture in which to accent the edges of the sign. It is not meant to be some kind of menu or catalog! So now I have to start over and redo the whole stinking thing. Not only will that take forever, but it will use up more of my supplies than I care to waste on this project! GAH! I wanted to have a Yosemite Sam moment after getting off of the phone with her yesterday. You know, where he stomped around saying intelligible words that sounded like cussing. I didn't, though. I have nothing if not my dignity! Heeheehee.

Rassa, frassin, hobble dashin, beeping, frackin...

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen, behold. I made it to work on time.


Steve and I have very recently come to realize that our alarm clock is the one to blame, not Steve. Apparently, it will only let you hit "snooze" so many times before it gives up. Now we have our room booby-trapped with alarm clocks, so hopefully this will end our daily lateness.

Also, I was reading an old blog entry of mine and I found my list of happy words. I leave you with one: Pickle Tweezers.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I'm not sure what this says about me, but these martian puppets have never failed to make me laugh. Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I have to share this!

While in class today, my professor was talking about Neoclassicism. One of the paintings that we were looking at was based on a Greek legend about a young man who falls in love with his father's young wife and he's dying of longing for her. The teacher was trying to explain that the young man's reaction wasn't rational (well, duh) and based solely on emotions. However, to make his point, he said "So, you've got a thing going for your mom, right? So if that's the case, it's rational to get with your mom!" Of course, he was trying to get us to disagree.

The class down the hall gets out about fifteen minutes earlier than ours and the students were going past our door. About the time he said "So you've got a thing for your mom?" two students passed by and heard him. They looked so funny, and they sort of ran past. Then another two students came by when he said "So it's rational to get with your mom!" and they did the same thing! I was sitting right by the door and I saw all of this. It was hilarious. NOw they probably think Dr. Stewart is a true weirdo. Priceless.

*There is a whole new crop of Camp counselors who have recently been hired. It's a lovely sight to see all of the fresh faced, excited, space-geeky folks who come in every year. Of course, in about 2 weeks 80% of them will have quit because they will find out what kind of children they will have to deal with on a regular basis. Uck. However, I do give them props for attempting it. I'm certainly not that brave. Steve was a camp counselor very briefly before he got smart. The only proof I have of it is his "Certificate of Achievment" that he got by passing the training and a picture of his training group. I think only one person that trained with him still works here.

*Speaking of counselors, there is a guy downstairs who I went to high school with. Either he doesn't recognize me or he's purposfully avoiding me. I can't completely blame him, because he was one of the few people I knew that I didn't like, and I knew he didn't like me. We were in the band together for a while. Sure, I could say hello, but if he's avoiding me on purpose it will be awkward. If he has completely forgotten we knew each other, he'll think I'm crazy. Either way, I don't think I'm going to worry about it. :)

*I got invited to a wedding in France! My friend Paul and his finace, Carine, are getting married in April. Unfortunately, their wedding is going to be during my finals, so I can't go. :( Paul was an exchange student at UAH and he worked at the SpRocket when I was in the museum. Josh and I got to know him pretty well (since Josh is fluent in French and could translate what Paul couldn't say in English.) He came to visit in 2001 and when we picked him up at the airport, we asked what he wanted to do while he was here. The only thing he said for sure was that he wanted to watch the Super Bowl and go to Hooters! I suppose that sort of thing is international! Heeheehee. At any rate, Félicitations, Paul and Carine!

* Have I ever talked about the "Speed Bump Kids" who live on my street? In the last few years, we have had a lot of families with small children move into our neighborhood. Normally I'd be fine with that, but for some reason, the parents of these children feel compelled to let their children play in the street. It would be one thing if we were on a cul-de-sac or on one of those streets where there was never any traffic, but that isn't the case. The children have no clue how to get out of the way when cars are coming, either. In fact, I've gotten dirty looks from the parents who have seen me drive down the street because I apparenetly have no right to drive when their children are playing there. They could, oh, I don't know, tell their kids to get into someone's yard until I pass, but no. So I have to dodge these little kids every time I come home from work. It's been even worse since our street got repaved. They take all of their scooters, bikes, skates, big wheels, etc. and drag them to the foot of our driveway (I'm not kidding) and ride them down the hill. They also apparently don't realize that the big black truck and silver convertable that drive past them every day, need to turn into that driveway, so they stand there IN our driveway until we stop cold. Then the seem to get it. I wouldn't care about this at all if I thought that they had the sense to move when they see a car coming, but I'm scared I'm going to flatten one of them.

* I was sitting in my office yesterday and out of nowhere, I heard a choir start singing "God Bless America" in the museum. Well, actually, it was an Asian children's choir, so it was more like "Gah Bress Amelica". It was cute, and they were really very good. Why was an Asian Children's Choir in our museum singing "God Bless America?" You got me.

*Valentine's day is coming up. I walked into Target last night and was assaulted by hearts and kissy-fase stuff. I realized while walking down those aisles, that I wasn't the least bit tempted by anything there. Can you believe it? I've finally found something that can make me lose my appetite for chocolate! Oh the humanity.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I should really be working, but I haven't quite fully charged this morning. :P Do you ever have those days where it feels like you only have about 5 out of 9 volts running? That is me today. Of course, you aren't here to read about how tired I am. You are here to read my


Friday was a really long and busy day. I had a lot of signs and things to make, and for some reason I kept forgetting to do things when it was convenient. I'd make a sign, take it to whomever it belonged to, intend to make a stop by someone elses office to get something on my way back, and then wind up back in my office without what I needed. Then it would start all over again! Very frustrating! That night, Steve, Anthony and I had dinner together and then the fellas went to the boat show. I respectfully declined to attend because stuff like that bores me to tears! So I went to Books-A-Million with the intent of getting a coconut mocha latte (because their cafe makes the best ones). It took me forever to find a parking spot, which for the bookstore is unusual, so I expected that I would walk in and find the place crammed to the gills. But I was wrong. It was strange. Not that many people were milling about, and it was really quiet. It wasn't until I made it back to the Arts & Crafts section that I relized where all of the people were. There was some professor or something who taught theology (somewhere, I didn't check) who was giving a lecture about Tolkein and the LOTR trilogy. I stopped and listened for a second, but I have very little knowledge of Tolkein and I've never read the books, so I couldn't get into it. :( Later on, Steve and Anthony came home and Steve had to show off the new TV. All I can remember about it is that it's HD and big, and it uses tiny little mirrors to make the picture. As long as I can figure out how to use it, I'll be good!

Saturday was a very lazy day for me. I did some laundry, swept a little and did some dishes. Other than that, I had given myself the task of mastering a form of 16th century embroidery called "Blackwork". If you've ever seen a portrait of King Henry VIII or his wives, heck pretty much any of the higher classes of that time, you've probably seen blackwork embroidery along the edges of their sleeves. It's pretty, but it will make your eyes cross. I finally figured it out, so I'm glad. It's kind of a pointless skill to have, unless you plan to spend a great deal of time making costumes, but I don't mind. I figure out a use for it! Steve had been gone to the golf course all morning, so when he got back, we watched some Staargate SG-1 dvds. I'm not crazy about the show like he is, but it can be funny. I pretty much just worked on the blackwork stuff.

OH! I did get an e-mail from the mother of my friend who had gotten the transplant. It looks like she's been moved from the hospital, where she has been for the past 13 weeks, to the transplant recovery house! She has had no organ rejection problems since her transplant, but she has been getting sick with viruses, which is normal for people who have had transplants, but she is well enough to begin her down swing on the whole situation! I was really glad to hear that, because I had gotten worried! Anyways, so hopefully she will be able to come home not too far in the future! Yay!

Sunday Steve and I both woke up not feeling well, so we stayed at home all day. That is pretty much it. : )

Well, that was my weekend.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Tonight I wanted to break in my new petite fours pan that I got for Christmas. I decided to try and find a low fat cake recipe because, well, my doctor told me on my last visit that I was fat.

I will not discuss that right now.


I found a recipe and had all of the ingredients except for cornstarch, so I just substituted flour in it's place. Apparently that wasn't the best of ideas. Observe:

Don't be deceived, they taste pretty good. They look awful, though! Also, it's hard to get them out of the pan. These are the strangest little cakes I've ever seen!

See, this is why fat free stuff sucks! :P

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I got the following e-mail from my sister this morning. It's one of those forwards that is pretty much poking fun at being southern, and normally that irritates me beyond words! It has been a point of mine for a long time to disprove southern stereotypes, mainly because I think that most of them are terribly rude. However, this one was kind of funny because a lot of it is true. Observe:

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Alabama. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama, plus a couple no one's seen before. (OK, that one is a little silly, we all know that possums don't sleep in the road, they are dead. However, the snake and spider thing is true.)

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites. (Also true.)
Onced and Twiced are words. (I've heard older people use those words.)
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. (Yes! Steve makes fun of me for that one.)
And let us never forget, it's not a garden hose or simply hose, it's a"hosepipe" (one word). (Steve also makes fun of me for that too.)
Knowed is a word too! (Unfortunately)

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic. (Yes, and they are evil little critters, too.)
People actually grow and eat okra. (BLECH! My mom makes boiled okra. It looks like snot. I'm not kidding.)

Mama-nem means the whole family. (I've used that one.)
Backards and foreards means I know everything about you.

Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat yet?" (Sadly, this is also true.)

You know you're from Alabama if:

1. You measure distance in minutes. (We do.)
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. (All of the time.)
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. (Or poke, if you're really old school.)
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year. (and usually there is a baby or a dog in there as well.)
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store. (Guilty of that.)
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal. (Don't forget the Athens Dogwood Festival, too.)
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (Not anymore.)
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car. (Doesn't everyone?)
9. You know what "cow tipping" is. (Actually, this is a misconception. Cows don't sleep standing up, and they will chase you if you try to do this. I will not explain how I know.)
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, chili powder, and catsup. No genuine Alabamian ever called it "Catsup". Down here it's "Ketchup" and let's not forget pepper sauce for the turnip greens! (I occasionally will also use there!)

11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages..for sports. (The Athens paper uses two pages for news, but the Sports has it's own section.)
12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. (My cousins do.)
13. You find 90 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm." (Too warm, but not terrible.)
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer,and Christmas. (Sad, but true.)
15. You know whether another Alabamian is from east, west, or middle Alabama as soon as they open their mouth. (And the way they say "Albertville" will also tip you off.)
16. Visiting Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as "going to wal-marts." (Went on a date there once.)
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. (Or chicken stew...)
18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example "What kinna coke you want?" (I no longer do this, but my mom still does.)
19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat. (Yum)

So, go ahead and snicker if you aren't from here. If you are, you know what I'm talking about.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Ack. I don't like my new Tuesday/Thursday schedual. I'm only at work for nibbles at a time and I can't get anything constructive done. Eh, well, for that matter, do I ever do anything constructive? : )

Normally I'd do my weekend update here, but I'm not really sure about what I did. I know, that is super sad, but I have the short term memory of a ferret. Of course, I've never done expirements on a ferret to see how their short term memory is, so I could be over estimating myself. I'll do my best to remember, though.

Friday (I think) we went to have our Christmas dinner with our group of friends. Steve and I had already exchanged gifts with Anthony, but we hadn't with anyone else. I got Shannon some books on True Crime and Forensics, because she and I share that passion. We got her husband Greg a Clive Cussler (?) book that looked as long as Gone With the Wind, but I bet he read it all before he went to bed that night! We also got Josh a book written by Mother Theresa (cause he's into Catholic stuff) and a Yiddish Word-a-Day calender (cause he secretly would love to be Jewish). I got some books on the Titanic and a set of books on White Trash Etiquitte, which I will probably use the next time I have "White Trash Bash" at the house. Now I just have to make sure all of my NASCAR china show the same driver, because mixing the teams is a serious faux pas. :) That pretty much wraps up Christmas until next time for everyone except Kenny, but I don't get to see him that often, so I'll just give him his gifts (that he told me not to get him but I did anyways, so nyeah) when I see him next!

Saturday Steve and I went to Sams. I love Sams! However, it's not good to do impulse buying while you're there because you end up with 400 packs of Ramen noodles that you never eat and way too many fish sticks. Stupid me forgot that the checker put one of our things underneath the cart and we drove off without it. It was too late by the time I remembered where it was to go back for it. We were supposed to go out with Matt and Christy, but I got a nasty sinus headache that wouldn't go away, so we punked out on them. I felt bad because she is thisclose to having her baby, literally any day now, and we may not get to hang out with them much for a while. I told her that we would still hang out with them once the baby was born, but she seemed skeptical. Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate babies, I'm just scared I'm going to dent them. She's already told me she wants me to hold it while it's tiny! I don't want to be the reason it has to comb it's hair over a weird, flat place on it's head! Oy.

But I digress...

Steve and I ended up having dinner and watching the next few episodes of Lost. I'm much more confused now than I was before, but we've at least caught up with the actual series. It's going to suck when we have to wait a week between each episode. I just can't believe how great this show is! Also, I love Hurley. It's a love that I can't explain, so I won't try to.

Sunday was our norm. Church, lunch with the family, and then church again. I sang during the sunday night service, and I did alright. I sang "It Is Well" and it was a little hard to do because I haven't sung that since Steve's mom died, and I know she liked that one. They also played that at her funeral. It made Mr. Lee cry, which I didn't mean to do. Sometimes we miss her so much. I was always under the impression that you weren't supposed to like your mother in law, but I did. We had dinner with Mr. Lee after church and then Steve and I made a run to the ghetto Wal-Mart. It seemed very important that I go there and get something, but I couldn't remember what it was once I was there. I hate it when that happens, and it's been happening a lot! I have to stand in the middle of the store and tap my head until I remember, and sometimes I never do! Argh, it is frustrating! I did end up leaving with some stuff, but I still don't know if I got what I needed!

Monday was a paid holiday for everyone I work with, but I had to come in so that I could get paid! I complain, but I don't really mind. I rarely do anything since no one is there to request anything. If someone does request it, I can't get to the printers because the doors are locked and I don't have a key, so I can't make them anyways. So, I amuse myself for eight or nine hours and then go on my way. Not a bad way to spend a day, in all honesty!

Well, that is all for now. I'm about to leave for class, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that A) I stay awake and B) Lap-Top Girl stays far away from me. I also think I've forgotten to do some homework, but I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it I guess.

Hugs and Kisses!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Dear Lap-Top Girl who sat next to me in class today,

You know, I understand that you have a whole system worked out for doing your school work. I also understand that you probably have a million different classes going on and you probably have to run across campus to make it to the class we share close to on time. However, I would like to make a suggestion to you. If you are going to be late, carry 6.2 cubic tons of crap, need to switch from using your lap-top/notebook/loose leaf paper/folder/ eight different pens, AND continuously take your sweater on and off during the course of a class, could you please not sit next to me ever again? Please? About 15 minutes after you arrived, I wanted to take that nice shiny Dell and break your nose with it. There were huge amounts of space where you and your continuously moving ring of stuff could have been, yet you chose to sit in between two students who also had packs and purses, not to mention our own notebooks and the minimum amount of personal space allowed by law. If you didn't notice, we are not in a room with large, comfortable seating that allows each of us to show up to class supplied like a sherpa. We have about two feet of space that we and our belongings can fill without crowding each other.

Also, if you are going to have semi-nude photos of yourself on your lap-top, please (and I'm begging you not just for me, but for all of us in the art department) PLEASE make a special "I'm naked" folder and hide them. Was it not bad enough that your screen pretty much blinded me during class while you changed your desktop wallpaper and surfed the internet? Do I also have to look up to see you in your underwear?

However, I would like to thank you for typing in the dates of the paintings we looked at. Our teacher talks really fast, so it was the only way I could write them down.

Hugs and kisses,
It's official, the crossing guards hate me.

I know I've said this before, but I think they've had another meeting and decided that I'm not allowed to be on time for work under any circumstances and they will do whatever it takes with extreme prejudice. I started back to work on Monday, and I was late. Tuesday...late. Yesterday, super late. Part of it is because of the fact that I have had trouble waking up, but the rest is all about the crossing guards. This morning, I got up and out of the house twenty minutes earlier than I usually do, and I still got to work at the same time as I did yesterday. That can't be normal. This morning they must have known I left early and they recruited a guerrilla soccermom and her maroon minivan to swoop in before me and then drive two miles an hour the whole freaking way to the parkway. Hmmmmm, I'm beginning to sound like a conspiracy theorist. Next thing you know, I'll be wearing a tin foil hat and buying copies of Catcher in the Rye. Oy.

I've learned something about myself the past few days. I love to order packages and track them as they are being shipped. I used to think that I just loved to get stuff in the mail, but now I realize that it's all about the anticipation of them getting here and being able to track them and see where they are stopping and starting. I realize that's probably making some of you sad, but in the immortal words of Garfield the cat... "Simple Cat, Simple Pleasures."

I've got to leave for school in a few minutes. I kind of freaked out tuesday afternoon because I had the feeling that I might have signed up for the wrong class. It isn't totally my fault, though. When Steve moved the desks out of my office, I misplaced the program of study that I was given by my advisor. The POS is basically a road map of what I need to take in order to graduate. Since I couldn't find it when I signed up for classes, I had to just do my best and remember the last two requirements needed. I knew about the 300 level elective, but I couldn't remember about my last art history class. I remembered it had to be something that wasn't ancient, but that was all. Since I chose 19th century art, which was the most contemporary one I saw on the class list, I thought I was okay. However, the teacher said we would be covering art from 1750-1860. So I panicked and wrote every teacher that I had asking if I was in the right class. Now my history prof thinks I'm an idiot because my POS said (he informed me in an e-mail) that my requirement was a post 1800 art history class, and 19th century art was post 1800. Doh! Maybe I should have explained about the lost POS in my original e-mail. I'll be lucky if he doesn't make me wear a helmet and bib during class today. :(

I finally finished up my Christmas shopping yesterday! I know, I's January. I hadn't had a chance to get the last couple of things for some friends before Christmas, so I did it last night. I love getting gifts for people! Hopefully they will like them. If not, they can bite me. :)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Sorry about the lack of posting lately, but I've been having trouble with my internet at work. Not that I think anyone is angry or in any way diminished by my lack of posting, but sometimes it just feels like one needs to apologize. Right?

Well, I won't bother with a weekend update, per se, because for the past week and a half, I've been enjoying a super-sized weekend and quite frankly, I don't remember most of what happened. As I said before, my lay off (loop hole so that the Sprocket doesn't have to give me benefits for working 40 hours a week or so) started the 27th and ended on the 8th. I cleaned, I slept, I took care of some business that needed taking care of. It was lovely. I didn't get as much of the house as clean as I wanted to because I just had too much other stuff going on, but I got the big and potentially dangerous stuff out of the way, so I'm good.

I thought that I'd be spending New Year's Eve alone this time, but Steve surprised me and got home from his trip that afternoon. After a long nap, we watched the two DVDs worth of "Lost" that I hadn't been allowed to see while he was gone, and we watched the tail end of the ball dropping thingie. I had my video camera out, but if you saw the video, it would mostly consist of me showing off my paper cranes and my hand petting the dog. It was low key, but I was glad of that. Sometimes low key is nice. Butler, however, made a party faux pas and stuck his tongue into my glass of sparkling cider. That is just rude, no matter what species you are!

I started my classes today and I think I'll enjoy them, unless something terrible happens. My 19th century art history class has one of the most laid back and soporific-voiced teachers in the whole of UAH. I've had him as a teacher before, so it's not going to have to be much of an ajustment. The only thing I'm going to have to watch out for is his voice putting me to sleep. He looks the part of a history prof, too. Picture baggy chinos, crazy hair, and a Bill Cosby sweater over a plad shirt. He also has a brown corderoy blazer with patches on the elbows. He's almost...almost...a charicature of a professor. He's cool, though. My second class, History of Theater I, is different than other classes I've taken because I'm in there with *GASP* theater people. Not to knock them or anything, but some of them are a bit on the melodramatic side. I've also got Alabama's answer for Kevin Federline in there with me too, but he's really smart. It's funny to hear him talk because he sounds so ineloquent, but he knows so much. My books for that class cost almost as much as a tank of gas! : ) I'm going to love selling those back at the end of the semester.

I have a strange feeling that my history class may not be the one I'm supposed to be in, but I've got an e-mail in to my advisor and hopefully I am wrong. Fingers crossed!

Well, that is all for now!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Yep, still off of work. I'll be back on Monday, so don't be alarmed.

I had to drop my aerobic kick-boxing class for this next semester. :( I wanted to take it, but I realized that leaving work in the middle of the day to take a class that will make me tired and sweaty probably wasn't the best plan. Maybe I'll just take it in the a regular person instead of a student! Yesssssssssssssss.

OK, well, yesterday I was sitting in my office, wearing my nightgown (or football jersey, if you will) and the doorbell rang. I froze, not altogether sure what to do! Normally I'd answer the door, as would anyone I suppose, but I had a problem. I wasn't wearing any pants. Unlike some people I know, I don't normally just sit around the house sans pants, but it was still early and I hadn't had the chance to take a shower. Anyways, I digress. I didn't know what to do! No one really just drops over, and I couldn't just open the door not wearing any pants (unless it's the neighbor's birthday...) so I decided to be very still and pretend not to be home. Just as I thought that whomever it was had gone away, they knocked on the door. I figured that if someone was going to stand at the door for that long, they must need to see me, so I ran to the other end of the house, threw on my fuzzy robe, and ran to the door. No one was there. At first I thought I had stroked out or something, but then I saw someone at the end of my driveway, and I waved. The lady turned to her friend and got something from him, and then walked back to the door. As she got closer *wince* I realized that she was carrying "The Watchtower" and a bible. Now, I've been with my mom and grandmother when they sent the Jehovah's Witnesses off with fleas in their ears. It always embarrassed me, because hey, they are just doing their thing! Different denomination or not, I don't think it's polite to tell a missionary to kiss off. So I stood there and talked with her a minute, accepted her Watchtower and Awake! booklets and offered her a drink. She didn't accept, but she was very nice. I didn't tell her I was pretty content with being Baptist, but I figure it didn't really matter in the long run. After she left, I had a moment of unreality, though. I didn't know when I woke up that morning that I'd get Jehovah's witnessed to while not wearing any pants.

Now, I have one question about the Jehovah's Witnesses. I did a little wikipedia checking about the religion and I read something that confused me. They believe that only 144,000 people will get to heaven, right? One of their things are going door to door telling other people about Jesus, right? Aren't they shooting themselves in the foot to tell other people about it?

EDIT: OK, I did a little more digging. Apparently 144,000 go to heaven and the rest go to an earthy paradise. I just suppose everyone is jocking for the heaven spots. Inelegant, but accurate as far as I can tell.