Tuesday, January 13, 2015


This morning I got up, got ready for church, and sat down to eat my breakfast.

BREAKFAST: Cinnamon Raisin Bar. This was actually very good. It was sweet and would have tasted better if I'd heated it up. It had some kind of powdery stuff on it that I couldn't identify, but that didn't deter me from cramming it into my face as fast as possible.  I've mentioned that I'd gladly buy some of the Nutrisystem breakfast bars if they were sold in stores, but alas, they are only available through the program. I think, anyway.  I could probably order some of them online if I really wanted to search, but I don't think it's come to that yet.

At any rate, church services hadn't even begun before I was already hungry again.  I know it must sound like I spend my life in a constant state of hungriness, but I swear that's not true. There are times, I promise, when food isn't foremost in my mind.  That hasn't happened much this week, but it is possible.  We came home to eat lunch and I just broke.  I couldn't do it anymore.  What was left in our boxes was ham and bean soup, and ravioli in sauce.  I couldn't make myself eat them. I just couldn't do it.  All I could think of was being hungry and wishing I was eating something else.  I didn't even taste the soup, I just make some veggie bacon and started roasting brussels sprouts, because I'd reached my limit on what I was willing to do to follow this program. So again: Egg, Veggie Bacon, Brussel Sprouts, 100 calorie slice of bread and 60 calories worth of Smarties. After lunch, though, I knew I was going to be done. I realize this is basically be stopping a marathon with the finish line in sight, but I don't care. Forgive me. I'm weak.

I'll write more about this later. I'm going to go get a cheeseburger.

Sunday, January 11, 2015


I don't have anything clever or introspective to say.  All I know, is that I'm hungry and I hate everyone involved in the creation of this box of food.  It is an irrational and unfair hate, but nonetheless it is real and it is huge.

You want to know something weird?  Steve actually likes everything he's eaten so far.  The only thing he's had any problems with has been the morning shake, and that's only because of the artificial sweetener.  Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm just much pickier than I realized.  Or...or...maybe Steve doesn't have a sense of taste, and he's just messing with me.  Maybe everything he eats is completely bland to him, and now he's just taunting me with how fine he is with the provided food.  He wants me to go crazy.  I think that's it! That smarmy fat-head can't taste FOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE!

BREAKFAST: Apple Strudel Bar.  This was just OK, rather than very good, but I think it's because it had some kind of artificial flavoring in it.  I couldn't pinpoint what the strange taste was, but it tasted much faker than the others.  It may have been because it didn't have the fake chocolate or fake peanut butter on it to cover up whatever strangeness I detected.  It was fine, though, and since I had it with black tea, it was enough.  I was hungry pretty soon after, though.

LUNCH: Cheese Tortellini.  This was edible, if not exactly good.  The sauce was chunky and had a strange sweet flavor to it, which I've noticed in other Lean Cuisine type Italian foods before, so it wasn't unexpected. There was a LOT of sauce, though.  That strange sweet taste, which I think must be some kind of herb, kept me from eating much of the sauce, so I scraped it off as best I could.  I pared it with some brussle (s?) sprouts and it was passable.  When I was microwaving the sprouts, one of them exploded and jumped clear out of the container to die a mushy death on the bottom of the microwave. I know how it feels.  I also had 60 calories worth of Smarties, which was 1/2 the calories of the morning shake that I didn't drink.  I just wanted something sweet.  I think this whole thing would work better if there was something to look forward to.  I think if you do the regular month long program, they do have desserts. I don't want to do the month long thing. I don't think I'd stay sane.

PM SHAKE: OK, I had to do it.  I was starving just a couple of hours after lunch.  This time I took the Craving Crusher shake and blended it with ice and water.  I diluted it too much, so it was just sort of a slightly chocolate flavored ice once I got into it.  I didn't drink it all, mainly because it didn't taste like much of anything except the artificial sweetener. I drank about half and couldn't do much more. The shake made me cold.  So now I'm cold AND hungry.  Bastards.

DINNER: Chili with Beans.  There was a three tier reaction to eating the chili.  First: taste "Oh, thank goodness, it tastes good!" Second: Chew "Crap, it's got that weird sweet taste." Third: Feel "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE."  The meat felt wrong and it also had the metallic taste that all food packaged in that kind of container always has.  Again, I went with my replacement meal of an egg and veggie bacon. I added toasted spinach and a piece of 100 calorie bread (I realized it was the first bread I'd had all week.)  I had to add some almonds at the end of the day, and otherwise I was fine! 

This diet sucks.  Seriously, unless you literally don't care what your food tastes like, I don't see how anyone could do this long term. 

Friday, January 09, 2015


I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!  It's faint, but it's there.  I have to say, this hasn't been a very fun experiment so far!  I never knew how important food was to me in my regular, day to day routine, and I can't help but be a little embarrassed about the whole thing in general.   Food, other than making sure I have some, shouldn't be this big of a deal to me! Let this be a lesson!  I may not always have all the food I want, so I need to get over it! I could be poor and homeless one day, and it wouldn't do for me to get crazy over what I can or can't eat.

OK, so I did some thinking last night and figured out why I got so light headed and everything.  Up until I ate dinner, and because I didn't drink that horrible AM shake or eat very much of my lunch, I'd only had just above 300 calories and almost nothing to drink, so it was a mixture of low blood sugar and some dehydration.  Neither of those things are good! I usually keep water with me all day, but yesterday I was working on one of those long, repetitive, mind numbing tasks that I have to do once a year, and I barely even got out of my chair - so I didn't even think of filling up my Wonder Woman water mug.   Also, not eating or drinking (no matter how much of it comes from avoiding the food they give you) is not what the Nutrisystem program is about, so that is all on me.  I'm sure if I was consuming everything in that box, I wouldn't have any blood sugar issues and I'd probably be way more aware of drinking enough water.  At any rate, I'm going to try and do much better today, which should be easier since I don't work on Fridays and will probably be at home all day! [Oh, and full disclosure, I ate 3 cookies last night. I got dizzy again, and figured it wouldn't hurt. It did help, so hooray for cookies!]

BREAKFAST: Peanut Butter Granola Bar.  I have to say, the breakfast food has consistently been my favorite of everything they give you.  I think that if they marketed their breakfast stuff for general sale at grocery stores, they'd do pretty well.  While I'm not a huge fan of peanut flavored stuff in general, this bar was sweet and good and filling. I also had black tea, which the program says is fine as long as you use non-caloric sweetener.  Nothing exciting, but it worked for me!

LUNCH: Loaded Baked Potato. This is a misnomer, because what this is, is actually reconstituted instant mashed potatoes with bits of "cheese" and bacon and leeks  in it.  It tasted weird.  I've had something exactly like it before, but I can't remember where.  It's familiar, but not in a good way.  It's like something I had right before getting sick or something, which is why I've avoided it ever since! It was pasty (even after adding extra water) and bitter, with a touch of fake butter and smoky bacon-bit flavor to it, with an aftertaste of latex balloons.  I only ate about half, along with some brussels sprouts (or are they brussel sprouts? One brussel per sprout?)  I did find out that it was the perfect consistency to mold things out of, al la "Close Encounters," so if you ever need to build a landmark out of mashed potatoes, this should be your go to stuff!  Silver linings!

Honestly, I don't mean to be hateful, but damn. How can you mess up instant potatoes? I wound up making some brussel (brussles?) sprout chips, which are just leaves from the things toasted in olive oil, which were good, so I'm not hungry!

DINNER: Turkey Sausage and Bacon Rigatoni. 

I hate everything.

This was, like last night's dinner, inedible.  The pasta was mushy and bland, the meat was squidgy and bland, and the sauce is creamy and bland.  It was food shaped and slightly food flavored, but not like real food.  It's like aliens captured some humans and took them aboard their ship, and when they remembered that the humans needed food, they synthesized this because it was as close to people food as their computer replicators could get. That's the nicest thing I can think of.

Again, I got rid of it and had an egg, veggie bacon, some Veggie Wedgies (HA!), more sprout chips and some of the same cookies I had yesterday. It still clocked in around the same amount of calories. I also found out what happens when you use a mandoline slicer without a finger guard.  My thumb might never be the same!

Thursday, January 08, 2015


I'm beginning to think that this is not a good diet to start just out of the blue.

One of the things that has been hardest for me is that the amount of food you get seems so small, especially if you haven't been dieting at all before hand.  To go from eating whatever you want to tiny containers of food you are scheduled to eat is very, very hard.  On a good note, though, having someone else pick what you're going to eat makes meal times easy, but not having as much as you want of it is what is hard.  If you are thinking of doing this particular program, my recommendation is that you should start cutting back your regular food beforehand and then try this stuff.  If nothing else, get used to eating a little less!  Also, don't expect that everything will be delicious. Imagine you are in college with just a microwave to cook with and only a convenience store to shop in!
BREAKFAST: Biscotti Bites. These were good, but I don't know if they are what I'd consider a breakfast food. I love biscotti, but it's more of a snack thing for me.  These were tasty, though, and there were a lot more in the package than I thought there would be!  I also have some pomegranate again today!  I'm excited about the pomegranate! I'm saving it for later on this morning.  Being exited that I have fruit makes me sad.

LUNCH: White Bean Chicken Chili.  I literally couldn't get up enough enthusiasm to eat lunch today. I kept thinking "I'll heat that up soon." But even though I was hungry, I just didn't want to eat it.  It probably doesn't taste bad or anything. I don't even want the salad I brought.  I'm in "Kill Me" mode.  I'll take it home and maybe eat it later. Who knows?  Not me.  My life now consists of being hungry and getting excited about fruit.  I am this close to walking into a McDonald's, jumping on the first person I see, and licking their fingernails just to taste a French fry again.
    *EDIT - I did eventually eat a little bit of this and the salad when I got home.  The chili was very spicy (to me, anyway) and it had a weird, metallic, sweet taste.  It wasn't terrible, but I don't want to eat it again. I didn't eat it all.  

I hit the drunk/stupid point of low blood sugar while I was shopping at Target with Steve tonight.  We had to go get some milk, and I realized that I couldn't focus on anything and was starting to giggle and slur my words.  It wasn't severe, and I've felt this way when I've gone a long time without eating, but it hadn't been that long since I had the salad, so I'm not sure if I should be concerned.  I straight up almost started to cry because I realized I couldn't have a chicken finger.  That is not normal.  I know I ate a lot of junk before doing this program, but eating better (or at least less) isn't like coming down from taking drugs is it?  Do you go through food withdrawal?

This sucks.
It looks, and tastes, like someone had already eaten it. 
DINNER: Chicken Alfredo.  I found something called Veggie Wedgies (the name makes me laugh) which are supposed to be French fry substitutes for children.  They are made from cauliflower, but I didn't check to see if they had anything else in them I wasn't supposed to eat. [*EDIT: Potatoes, but only secondary to the cauliflower.] I tried to eat the chicken stuff, I promise I did.  Do you know how mad I was the other day when the macaroni didn't taste good?  I could at least eat that.  This was twenty times worse. I couldn't even get mad about it, it was too depressing.  It didn't just taste bad, it tasted wrong.  I can't explain it. I kept taking tiny bites hoping I'd change my mind, but I didn't.  I got rid of it. I just ate my Veggie Wedgies (hee!) and had an egg and some veggie bacon instead.  Calories were probably about equal.



Last night, I ate the almonds. Not many, but some. Afterwards, I felt less like hurting people. This is my life now. I've done this to myself. There is no one else I can blame.

You probably see a big difference between the way I write about the meals at the beginning of the day and the way I write about them towards the end. I try and write about what I'm eating while I'm eating it (real time, y'all!), so I think that as I get progressively hungrier, by dinner time my sense of humor about everything is gone.   I'm one of those people the "I Think You Need a Snickers" commercials are about!  I'm a little embarrassed that I had a small come apart on only the second day.  I figured that would happen WAY later on in the week.  If I make it through the week without going completely off the rails and deviating badly from the program, and I DON'T lose some weight, Imma be mad.  I don't expect even the whole 5 pounds at this point, but something, any loss, better happen. I'm doing this whole thing on purpose and I'd hate myself if it didn't work!

Anyway.  Even after the almonds, I went to bed hungry and couldn't go to sleep!  I know that technically I'm not supposed to get hungry because the shakes are supposed to supplement my meals, but the first one I drank was bad and I've been too scared to try another one.  However, I did learn yesterday that there are 2 different kinds of shakes, not just the same shake with two different names, so maybe the evening one isn't as bad?  We'll see!  I went to bed hungry and couldn't sleep, but once I did fall asleep, I way overslept.  I overslept through the alarm that was supposed to wake me up for the gym, and I overslept the one that was supposed to wake me up for work.  That probably didn't have anything to do with the food, or lack of it, but still.  I was running late, so I didn't have time to make a salad to go along with lunch, but I got some fruit.  I hope it doesn't matter.  Here's the thing, though: I'm not sure why this diet is supposed to work.  Is it strictly portion control with relatively low calories, or is it the kind of food that you are given that can alter your body chemistry?  If it's the latter, adding fruit and nuts is probably sabotaging me.  If it's the former, I'm hoping I'm keeping it around the same amount of calories, more or less, that I would be getting if I followed this whole thing to the letter.

I've also just now (this very second) realized I've become one of those people who are talking in depth about a diet I'm on and I hate myself a little for it. Normally I wouldn't, but I am justifying it this time because it's a special kind of diet and not just me eating regular food in smaller portions or whatever.  Also, I'm doing it for mankind!  I tried finding reviews of this diet all over the place, and I only found 2 that were not sponsored. I was looking for someone who'd bought the kit themselves (instead of being sent it from the company)  and tried it without feeling obligated to say nice things if it didn't deserve it, and I didn't have much luck. So, I figured I'd do it!  Maybe it will be around until Nutrisystem's company finds these entries and then has them scrubbed from the Internet!  At least I'm not bragging about cross fit.  :)

This was what was left when I remembered to take the picture.

BREAKFAST: Granola Cereal.  This was actually really, really good.  I like granola.  It wasn't very much, but that's to be expected.  I actually forgot to take a picture of it because I snarfed it up before I thought about it.  I just wanted to put it in my face as quickly as possible.  I also had some more pomegranate arils a couple of hours later.
LUNCH: Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm so hungry, or if this was actually good, but I liked this one.  Again, I was in such a hurry to eat this that I almost forgot to take a picture, but I remembered mid-bite. It almost tastes like a Butterfinger candy bar, and it is high in protein, so let's see if it will carry me all the way to dinner-time without me ripping anyone's head off!  I hope so, because I just realized I forgot to pack the shake I hoped to have in case of emergency hunger.  I don't want to be tempted to raid the children's ministry snack stash.  I don't want to be that guy.

P.M. SHAKE: Chocolate Craving Curber (or something like that) I actually found my shake mix!  I didn't forget to bring it after all!  The children's snacks are safe for another day!  I really didn't want to drink this, but I got hungry enough to do it.  I mixed it up and, believe it or not, it didn't taste bad.  It wasn't great or anything, but if I've learned anything over the past few days, it's that none of this food is going to be great.  I really wanted to finish this shake, but I couldn't.  It wasn't the taste, it was the texture and the fact that it wasn't cold enough.  I think that if I could put this in a blender with some ice and make it into a smoothie kind of thing, I wouldn't have a problem with it.  But it wouldn't mix completely, so there were little, floating lumps of powder on top.  Also, it was so thick it was like drinking cake batter.  I couldn't drink it without my throat closing up, so I poured it out.  I replaced it with some saltines I found in the church kitchen for about the same amount of calories.  In better conditions, I wouldn't have a hard time drinking it, though. 

DINNER: Chicken Pot Pie.  I was dreading this one, because of all the reviews I was able to find online, one of the worst was for this. It didn't look great, but I was starving.  I cooked it, heated the little cracker thing and plopped it on top.  It was not bad.  Maybe I liked it because I had been convinced that it would be terrible, and when it wasn't, I was pleasantly surprised. Again, it wasn't great, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, so that's good enough.  I ate it fast because I was hungry (this is a theme!) and I realized it's actually on par with a lot of heat-and-serve convenience foods that I've had, so I was OK with it.  I added some brussel sprouts to this to round it out, but I was still hungry.  I had a hard boiled egg and some almonds and I was fine after that.  I'm sure those pushed me over whatever calorie limit I had for the day, but I don't care. At least I didn't go to bed so hungry I couldn't sleep.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015


I woke up this morning strangely light headed and tingly.  I'm not going to blame the Nutrisystem food for that.  I'm probably just getting the DTs from the fact that I'm no longer on the hydrocodone cough medicine I was given before Christmas.  I was hungry, though, which I do blame on the food, but technically, you probably should be hungry after sleeping a while. I'm guessing this is how normal people feel?

BREAKFAST: Lemon Blueberry Bar.  The first bite was gross.  I think I was expecting it to be gross, so in my head, it was gross.  However once I considered it for a moment, I realized it actually wasn't gross at all.  I'd totally eat one of these again.  It was small, as you can see, and it didn't necessarily fill me up, but it was enough for breakfast.  I couldn't bear to drink another "Energi-Zing" shake (I seriously couldn't get the taste out of my mouth until I brushed my teeth) so I had some pomegranate arils, which ended up being about half the calories of the shake anyway. 

LUNCH: Chicken Noodle Soup.  This wasn't bad either, although it wouldn't be something I'd reach for again if I had other choices.  It didn't taste bad, per se, but it felt wrong.  The noodles were rough and heavy and it was a little bland.  I was scared at first, because after I heated it, but before I tasted it, I stirred it and the noodles all clumped together in the shape of the container. Horrors!!!!!!  It wasn't so bad.  I had a tiny spinach/carrot/feta salad (yes with dressing, shut up!) along with it and it was fine. Fine. It was fine.

DINNER: Macaroni and Cheese with Beef.  I was starving by the time I came home.  I'd been busy at work, so even if I had wanted to drink that wretched shake, I hadn't had time.  I immediately went into dinner preparation mode.  I made some balsamic-parmesan cauliflower (which was recommended to me by the nutritionist I no longer visit...so who knows if it was ok to eat with this, but still - vegetable) and had to wait about half an hour while that cooked.  I could have eaten my own arm, but I did manage not to grab the big box of goldfish crackers, stick my face directly into it and inhale them without chewing.  Even though I'm not restricting carbs, that's the thing I'm craving most when I'm hungry now.  I just want crackers and chips and bread.  The macaroni and beef stuff was an "add water and wait" kind of thing, so I managed to have everything ready at the same time instead of eating in stages.

I tried putting it in a pretty dish, but it didn't help.

The cauliflower tasted good, no matter how bad it smelled while it was roasting.  The macaroni was fine.  Actually, no, it was not fine.  It was the bastard stepchild of Hamburger Helper and depression.  It tasted like sadness with fake cheese sauce.  Maybe I made it wrong, I don't know, but I was so hungry, I ate it all regardless of what it tasted like.  I mean, it was edible, and there are probably starving people in this very country who'd gladly have it three times a day, but food shouldn't taste like that. Not on purpose.  Maybe it's my hunger talking, because even after dinner, I am still hungry.  I have a suspicion that I'm actually what people refer to as "Hangry" right now, because when I think of that macaroni, I want to set my house on fire and barbecue something over its smouldering ashes.  I want to find the food scientist who thought it up and make them cry.   I want to go into my kitchen and eat an entire loaf of bread, crouched in a corner Gollum style, while growling at anyone who gets near me.  Maybe I'm a compulsive eater or something, I don't know.  All I can think about is the food I can't have, and that's not normal for a person who has plenty to eat at all times.  Too much food at all times, even.  Is it cliche for a chubby person to be obsessing over food. Of course it is. I don't even care.  I'm mad at myself for needing to lose weight in the first place, and I'm mad that I saw this stupid box at Sam's, and I'm mad at myself for not having the willpower to simply not care about what I'm eating.  I wish I was like those weirdos that only eat so that they don't die, because that would be better than this obsession with regular food I suddenly have.  I was fine all day, but this macaroni just made me mad! 

I also ate a sugar free mint and 4 almonds. I might eat a few more. I don't want to, but I'm not sure I can help myself. 

Monday, January 05, 2015


A NOTE:  I don't generally make new year's resolutions or anything, because I've learned that I'm not good at them. Like...not at all.  People tend to plan on reinventing themselves every year, and 9 times out of 10, it never works out.  I learned this about myself a long time ago, and I only mention it now so that you don't think that what I'm about to tell you falls within the "New Year, New Me" category!  It's just convenient timing.  That is all.

Late last year (which was only a couple of weeks ago, as of this writing) Steve had a doctor's appointment wherein he learned that if he were to drop some weight, he would ultimately be able to stop taking some of his prescribed medications.  That would be pretty great, considering that he is temporarily unemployed and we will not have health insurance for much longer!  For myself, I've gained back around 10 of the pounds I fought so hard to lose a couple of years ago.  I won't lie, it's because I'm lazy and I like bacon cheeseburgers and french fries. I like them a lot.  Gaining that weight back makes me feel bad, because I worked really hard to lose it and it's personally frustrating that I just gave up on all of it.  Also, I gave away all of my fat clothes and don't want to buy bigger pants, so I knew I'd have to do something soon! 

When he told me about wanting to lose weight, I offered to try and help him out by trying to lose weight at the same time.  It would be good for both of us AND it makes it easier when one of us is NOT eating delicious stuff while the other is eating salad. That would mean that I'd have to work out with him, we'd try and figure out how to cook better stuff, and maybe not eat out as much as we do (the source of our bacon cheeseburger problem!)  We decided to start whatever we were going to do at the beginning of the year because we had Christmas food to eat and would be going on vacation to eat delicious seafood, and we didn't want to miss out on that.  So, when we found this at Sam's:

I'm getting tired of this rug, y'all.

we thought it would be a great way to get started on the whole thing.  It had the added bonus of having almost everything included that we would need inside the box, you do have to buy vegetables, so there wouldn't be any days where either of us could use the excuse of "I don't feel like cooking. Let's go out to eat." We both agreed to try it and if it worked, great!  Even losing 5 pounds is encouraging and this looked like the easiest thing to do to get started.  If it works, hopefully it would encourage us to lose more weight on our own. 

I was 100% gung-ho on this until I actually opened the box last night.  My problem: I'm not sure I can do this.  I have zero willpower and I really like food.  Also, I tried Nutrisystem in 2007 and it didn't work because, to be honest, the food is not that good.  Well, most of it wasn't good.  There were a few things I actually liked, but once those things were gone I couldn't bring myself to eat the other stuff.  I thought that doing this for 7 days would be easy enough, but I'm not sure I'm going to make it.  So I'm going to write about doing it for as long as I keep up with it for two reasons: 1) If I tell you about it, I'm going to be accountable and 2) writing about it makes it seem more official!  So, join me as I (try to) eat a week's worth of shelf stable foods in an attempt to lose 5 pounds!

The box contains 7 breakfasts, 7 lunches, 7 dinners and 14 shakes that are supposed to energizing or are supposed to curb cravings.  We'll see!

BREAKFAST:  Day one (if you follow the little guide book) is oatmeal.  I almost screwed this up, because I didn't read closely enough and thought it was cereal and almost ate it raw. I had to scrounge a microwave safe bowl at work to cook it.  It actually wasn't that bad, which is encouraging.  It also filled me up, so when it was time for the next thing, I wasn't terribly hungry.

 Oatmeal doesn't photograph very well, does it?

SHAKE 1: Hungry or not, I wasn't going to deviate from the program so soon.  The shake is chocolate-ish flavored, and you mix it with 8 oz of water.  I forgot to take a picture of it, but it looked like a Slim Fast shake, or watery chocolate milk.  We were supposed to eat some vegetables with this as a snack, but gross.  No thanks.  The shake was...not good.  It wasn't terrible, but it had a very strong, bitter, artificial sweetener taste to it.  It was also a little gritty, but I pounded it down as quick as I could.  Blerf.  The artificial taste will not leave my mouth, even though I've been drinking water.  I'm pretty sure it also had caffeine in it, which makes me feel like my blood pressure has gone up instead of really being "Energy-Zing!"  I don't know if it really curbed any cravings, or if not being terribly hungry before I drank it kept me from being too hungry.  I didn't like this thing, but I have 2 of these a day all week.  Lord, give me strength.

LUNCH:  Lunch consisted of a "Fudge Graham Bar" and some grapes.  The bar wasn't bad, but it wasn't really good either.  I used to eat a Special K protein bar for lunch a lot, which this reminded me of, but it had more calories and didn't taste as good.  Oh, well.  It filled me up, at least. Technically, I'm supposed to be eating vegetables with this, but I couldn't make myself eat this bar with a vegetable.  Unless the whole thing hinges on glucose levels or something, I can't imagine 35 calories worth of grapes could make much of a difference.  I'll eat vegetables with dinner.  Promise! 

When I got home, I was feeling sick and head achy, but I don't know if that has anything to do with the food.  I was also hungry, but I didn't want to try the craving curbing shake, because I could still taste the fake sweetener from the shake I had this morning.  I decided to eat dinner a little earlier to see if I'd feel better.

DINNER: Lasagna with Meat sauce.  Well, sort of.  It wasn't bad at all, although it was mushy, a little bland and tasted a bit like Lean Cuisine.  It had corn and possibly some beans in it, which was confusing because I've never had lasagna with corn in it!  Eating really did make me feel better, so maybe I'm just not used to eating so little, or maybe it's all in my head!  I have no idea.  I ate a bag of steamed edamame afterwards which also helped.  I'm not sure if that's a vegetable or a starch, but since it was something that came from a plant, I have decided that it took care of the 4 servings of vegetables I was supposed to eat today.  One day down, six to go.

It's lasagna, I swear!

I really want some Goldfish crackers.  I want them in a bad way.

Saturday, January 03, 2015


January 1, 2015


I was right, we didn't make it to midnight, but almost. I think I fell asleep reading at 11:45.  I'm such a party animal!  :)

We were going to be going home today.  It was a really, really short trip, and I am disappointed that we couldn't stay longer, but at least I got out of the house for a little bit.  Sometimes you can't ask for more than that, right? 

I woke up this morning and went out to the beach.  This time I knew what the weather was going to be like, so I had my coat, my hat, and I was wearing my high boots.  Granted, I wouldn't recommend wearing your good boots to the beach normally, but I was already dressed and refused to change my shoes.  Besides, weirdly enough, it was easier to walk on the sand in those boots than it was to walk in my sneakers!  I left Steve to pack up and walked up and down the beach for about an hour and a half! Luckily, no weird thoughts about how easy it would be to drown myself on purpose popped up this time, so I enjoyed myself a lot more, even though it was freaking cold out there!  Again, I picked up shells and walked as far as I dared to, and I totally enjoyed myself in the process.  While getting ready, I accidentally scratched my eye while messing with my contacts, and the wind coming off of the gulf was making that eye water like crazy, so I'm sure there were a lot of people wondering why the sad lady with the funny hat was crying, but it was just the wind, I promise!

Once I got back inside, I got my things together and we checked out of the hotel.  We drove back to The Wharf so that I could buy something that I'd seen the day before and forgotten to get, and then we headed over to the Foley outlet mall to look around.  I'm truly beginning to wonder if outlets are really worth going to.  The prices don't really seem much different than buying the stuff online, and I think some things are even more expensive than buying them in regular stores! We found a couple of things, and then headed to our last stop: World Market.  It's probably a good thing we don't have one of these in Huntsville, because I always kind of go crazy in there. We always stop by one while we're out of town, just for the international candy!  I should be set for Japanese gummis for a while!

After that, we made our way back home.  It was very dreary and rainy, but be it ever so humble and all that!

It was short, but it was fun!  Can't wait to do another one sometime!


December 31, 2014

I woke up as early as I could today so that I could go outside to the beach.  I wanted to watch the sun come up, but my body said NOPE.  The sun was well up by the time I got out there, but at least Steve came with me this time!  I wanted a picture of us together out there, but no one else was around, so I had to break my selfie rule and take it myself.  OK, well, it's more of a guideline, but still...

The picture turned out cute. Shut up.

Anyways, we walked around out there and I picked up sea shells.  That is my favorite thing to do!  I know I look like a hobo scrounging around on the ground, but I don't care.  I filled up the pocket of my fleece with sand and the discarded husks of dead sea creatures, which means I'll never get the sand out of that jacket.  Heehee!  I did learn something new while we were out there, though.  Steve doesn't like walking on the beach. Like, at all. He says that he likes sitting out there and dozing when it's warm, but walking around picking up shells bores him silly.  So no romantic walks on the beach for us, I guess!  It's such a shame.  Oh, well, my next husband will like it, I'll make sure of it!  It'll be one of the requirements.  :)  Also, it was FREEZING out there.  My ear-tips felt like they would snap off if I bumped them on something, so we left and I decided that I'd come back in the afternoon when it was warmer.

Today would be our only full day here, so we were going to drive around and find things to do.  We had breakfast at Hazel's, which was delicious and plentiful.  Can't beat a buffet, right?  After that, we went to souvenir shops, which was actually a lot of fun.  Not all of them are Alvin's Island like, although a lot of them sell the same kinds of stuff.  We found a place called Souvenir City, which had been open since 1956 and you have to walk through a giant shark's mouth to get it.  It's pretty much the most awesome souvenir shop ever.  The place is HUGE.  I have no idea how long we spent in there, but there were so many things to look at!  One thing I was looking for specifically was a hat I could wear on the beach, because dummy me didn't think to bring one.  I own a million hats, custom crocheted by yours truly, and I was going to have to buy one.  Oy.  I couldn't find one I wanted because I didn't want anything with words on it, or anything that looked like a maw-maw hat, I just wanted a stocking cap that would cover my ears!  No dice, though.   I wound up buying some sea shells (non-native ones, which I wouldn't be able to find on the beach) and a Christmas tree ornament that I will hang in my mermaid bathroom.  Across the street was a surf/skate store called Blonde Johns.  That was not exactly our element, but Steve was trying to find a sticker for a surf company like one he used to have on his truck (or maybe the Mustang, I have no idea) and that seemed like the most likely place to have it.  We were greeted by a skater-dude in full on skater-boi regalia, which was about as anti beach as you can get.  He and the other skater dude guy who worked there were very nice and helpful, though.  They told us about all the New Year stuff that would be going on in town.  I felt like a fraud walking around in there because A) I can't skate, surf or skim (whatever that is) and B) I couldn't pull off any of the clothes they sold, BUT I did find a bright blue toboggan in there that didn't have words on it, so I got that to cover my ear-tips on the beach! Now I've got a cool skater hat! Yay!  Steve, however, didn't find his sticker. Boo.  We went to a lot of different places and it was really fun!  There were several places with art from local artists, which I'd have loved to buy, but the stuff I liked was way too expensive.  The stuff I could afford wasn't to my taste.  We also have come to the conclusion that unless you have a giant house, or a lake or beach house, most of the stuff you can buy down there really isn't suitable for real houses.  If you have a big house, some of that stuff would blend in, but in our house, a giant chandelier made of seashells really would clash.  You know?  We decided to eat lunch at a place called Lulu's, which had come highly recommended, but when we got there, there were so many people we wouldn't have gotten to eat for a couple of hours.  Seriously, they wouldn't even give us a wait time.  They said there were about 50 parties ahead of us, though, so we left and had lunch at Tacky Jack's!  We got something called Mexican Garbage, which was a giant plate of nacho's served on a garbage can lid.  Nom.

 The weather got really nice and a bit warmer, so we went back to the hotel and I got my hat and coat and headed back out to the beach while Steve took a nap.  Once I was out there, though, I realized it was too warm for either my hat or my coat.  Of course.  So I just tied everything around my waist and set off walking and picking up shells.  On that walk, I decided that several of my life goals involve living at the beach.  Also, I'm going to have to become independently wealthy so that one day I can drive down to the pointy bit of Texas and just start following the coast all the way around the Gulf of Mexico, go around Florida and up to New England, stopping at different coastal towns and seeing what they're all like.  Sounds like a Travel Channel show.  Oh, hey, I could totally host that!  If anyone from the Travel Channel reads this and wants to make that happen...I'm game! 

I don't know how long I stayed out there, but I got a sunburn I wasn't expecting.  I also really only went back to the room because at some point, while pondering the meaning of life and such, I realized how easy it would be to drown yourself.  I mean, I'm not suicidal or anything, I swear, but that's where my mind went and it got stuck there.  I don't need that kind of negativity going on in my head while I'm at the beach, so I went back in.  Steve was awake by then and we decided to go back out.  We were going to The Wharf with the intention of staying until midnight to watch them drop the marlin.  We stayed there for a while, but realized we probably wouldn't have enough to keep us occupied while we waited for midnight, so we left.  It was getting cold outside again, and we were both tired, so (because we are old now) decided to go to Wal-Mart and pick up some snacks, and just  ring in the New Year from our hotel.  I really didn't mind, although it would have been nice to see some fireworks, but I kind of like spending my new year's eve somewhere quiet, so it was a good idea!  On an embarrassing note, guess who forgot that people in the pool and hot tub can see straight into our room when we don't close the black-out curtain?  Also guess who gave them all a great view of me in my underwear as I changed for bed?  To everyone who saw me, I'd like to apologize for that!  We are watching movies, and I've been reading, and I seriously doubt that we are going to stay awake till midnight!  Happy New Year! :)

Friday, January 02, 2015


December 30, 2014

Today we are celebrating the fact that Steve is officially no longer working and heading off on a beach adventure!  Well, celebrating is probably not the right word.  Taking advantage of the fact, might be a better way of putting it.  Basically, I asked if we could take a quick trip somewhere and he picked Orange Beach, Alabama out of a list of places I'd mentioned I'd like to go!  We are using a bunch of the points that he'd amassed from his business travels (not sure how that works, but it's paying for our hotel) and celebrating the new year at the beach! 

We left a lot later than we planned because he had to go by his former workplace to fill out some paperwork.  Apparently they were very much not on the ball because they didn't have whatever it was he was supposed to sign, but they told him they'd email it to him, so we finally got on the road.  It wasn't a very eventful drive down, but we both like taking road trips, so it wasn't that bad.  It's pretty much a straight shot down the state until you make one turn and then continue south again! 

Our first stop was Lambert's Cafe, Home of the Throwed Rolls! No, seriously, that's what it's called.  Most people around here might be familiar with the place, but in case you aren't, this is a huge restaurant where they will throw rolls at you.  Not randomly, or anything like that.  They don't just peg you in the head with a roll while you aren't paying attention.  Just periodically throughout your meal some dude comes out of the kitchen with a wheeled cart and yells "HOT ROLLS!" and if you want one, they throw one your way.  Yes, it's weird, but the food is good!  The servers also circulate around the restaurant with big pots of side dishes that you can get some of if you want.  It's kind of like eating at a grandma's house where people are constantly trying to give you more and more food, even if you've got a full plate, only no one gets in trouble for throwing bread!  I had eaten at one of these places before when I was on an FFA trip in high school, but I didn't remember the roll guys throwing nearly as hard as our roll guy did.  When he got around to us, he sent a fast pitch at me, and with my stellar catching skills, I managed to get pegged in the neck with a sizeable yeast roll.  Youch.  It tasted good, though! 

From there we went to our hotel, which wasn't quite ready for us yet, so we took the opportunity to look around Orange Beach a little and get our bearings.  There isn't much to it, really, but we were ok with that.  It's next door to Gulf Shores, which has all the cheesy beach stuff you could ever want, so we aren't far from anything we might want to do!  We did accidentally drive into Florida, which we had no idea was as close as it was!  When we returned, they let us up to our room and after dropping off my stuff, I immediately went out to the beach!  Steve didn't come with me, as he was getting settled, but I couldn't wait!  It was cold, y'all.  I knew it wouldn't be warm, but geez.  I was wearing three layers and the wind went through all of them!  I didn't care though!  I was at the beach!  BEAAAAAAAAAAAACH!!  (If you aren't aware, I enjoy visiting the coast of pretty much anywhere. Just FYI.)  I walked around and took some pictures for a while.  It's really beautiful, even if it's not bright and warm.  I think I could just stand and listen to the waves for hours, regardless of the weather.

I thought Steve would come out, but he never did.  I got cold waiting, so I finally went back inside.  Steve had fallen asleep while I'd been out there (he must've been tired!) and so I took that opportunity to get myself settled.  Our room has been changed from what we were supposed to be in, so we are on the second floor, right over the pool.  The pool is indoor/outdoor and our room is right above  the archway where it goes from indoor to outdoor, so we can go out on our balcony and look straight down to see who's in there.  The bad part of that, though, is that because of where we are A) the pool light shines directly into our room, and B) anyone in the pool or hot tub can see into our room if we don't have the black-out curtain pulled.  Oh well, I don't really care.  I didn't want to wake Steve up, so I sat back to read for a while and dozed off myself!  Oops.  Well, when on vacation, I guess!  We both woke up later and realized that we were hungry again, only it was getting kind of late.  One thing about visiting a beach town during the WAY off season is that not a whole lot of things stay open late.  We did find a good Italian place called Franco's, which had some awesome food.  We closed the place down, which I felt bad about, but they seated us when we came in, so I guess they didn't care! 

We weren't tired after our nap, so after dinner we drove over to Gulf Shores to look around.  It was practically deserted, but that was fine.  We were only going to be spending one full day down there, so we were finding places we wanted to see the next day.  We did make one stop, to an Alvin's Island, which was still open.  If you've never been to an Alvin's Island before, it's one of those ubiquitous (and I mean that literally, because wherever I've been to a beach, there have been numerous Alvin's Island stores in each town) souvenir stores where you can get anything from hermit crabs to knee boards.  Seriously, any brightly colored, airbrushed, carved from a coconut thing with a stamp from whatever city you're visiting at the time you might want, they have it.  It's the kind of place where you can find a tee-shirt for the "FBI: Female Body Inspector" or whatever pop culture slogan that is popular that year (I saw a lot of YOLO things, although I thought that had become passe by now.)  You can also usually find skimpy bathing suits and slutty dresses upstairs, you know, for those who forgot to bring their own from home.  It's the kind of place I equate with teenage girls making bad decisions while on vacation, or someone who thinks "Crap! I forgot to get Uncle Cleatus a souvenir! Oh, this mug shaped like a naked boob with the nipple you can drink out of, with Gulf Shores (or wherever) stamped on it will be perfect!" I won't lie, though, we visit one usually every time we are near.  You kind of have to.  It's tradition! :) 

After that we came back to our hotel!  Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and our only full day down here, so we are going to bed so we don't sleep all day!