Wednesday, September 29, 2010


1) Darn it! Target had a whole section of clearance priced clothes at 75% off yesterday while I was there, and I picked out a lovely, rust-colored t-shirt that was, like, $2.50. I brought it home and took the tags off and only then realized it's a maternity shirt. It doesn't look like a shirt for pregnant ladies, it just looks like a t-shirt, but I feel weird (and fat) knowing I'm wearing a shirt meant for someone gestating. Oh well, tags are off and I like the color, so I'll keep it. :(

2) I was having a slow morning until I opened up "Eye of the Tiger" on YouTube. If you ever have trouble getting going in the morning, just listen to that. It works amazingly well.

3) I watched Glee for the first time last night. I...I wasn't really fond of it. *Ducks as friends and family throw things at me for this.* To be fair I didn't watch a whole episode, and I'd even be willing to watch it again just to make sure I don't like it and maybe realize I did like it and I would admit to that immediately, but yikes. However, I did like the lady coach, the little gay dude and the stupid cheerleader. They were OK and can stay. Everyone else must go.

EDIT: I went to Hulu and watched the entire episode to be fair. I will include Wheelchair Guy in my list of people who can stay. The stupid cheerleader made me laugh out loud a couple of times, and girlfriend can dance, too. Brown haired girl got on my nerves, so she still has to go. All in all, I didn't hate it, but it still rates a solid "Eh."

Saturday, September 25, 2010


1) I still hate my hair. I gave it a week or so and I thought that maybe it would grow on me (heh) but I still don't like it and it makes me mad. How can the SAME stylist who cut my hair in the first place, ruin a haircut when all she had to do was trim it?! The one interesting looking thing about me and she ruined it. It's just...awful. It went from good haircut, past soccer-mom hair straight to little league football mom hair. Good thing I have lots of hats.

2) I went to the mall for the first time in a long while the other day, and I realized that I always rush past the "Dead Sea Mineral" Aveda (?) booth on the bottom floor. Those people creep me out! I mean normally, as a rule, if a good looking French guy pulled me aside and rubbed lotion all over me, I'd usually be all for it! However, when the cute French guy from the Aveda booth does it, it gives me the heebs. I shouldn't have to take a detour through Victoria's Secret to get from one end of the mall to the other. I'm going to start carrying a bottle with me and start spraying him like a cat every time he comes near.

3) I had the most frustrating dream! I dreamed I was getting married (to whom, I have no idea, but he was kind of cute) and all of my aunts were helping my mom get the venue ready for the ceremony. It wasn't bad at first, but things got out of hand quick. I completely lost control of what was going on and no one would listen to me. I didn't get to choose anything, my dress, my shoes, or the decorations. I ran out of the room to be alone for a second, and they basically dragged me into the ceremony! I was sitting there while they pulled the altar (or whatever it was) up to me. I was screaming "I don't like this! I don't want this!" as loud as I could, but everyone was just smiling down at me like I wasn't saying a word. It was scary! I woke up before it could go on too much longer and I don't think I slept again for the rest of the night. Weird.

4) The cats have become a problem. There are 3 of them now. Spot and Garry are still coming around, but now they have to compete with Macaroon (the Maine Coon). If any of them happen to be on our stoop when the door opens, they will run into the house! I don't allow this, but cats are wiley little critters! At one point this weekend, all 3 had managed to get in! I would chase one down, grab it and throw it out the door, turn to get the next one and the one I threw out would come back inside. I had to yell for Steve to come and help me. I still have no idea how we got them all out. I know they only hang around because I feed them (and I probably wouldn't do that anymore, but since Macaroon has been around, I don't think she/he has an owner like the other 2 and that thing YOWLS by the front door until I come out and feed it). I just wish they'd all make friends at least. There are literal hissy-fits on my stoop now and two of my plants have been damaged in the fray. :(

5) The weather seems to be getting cooler! Huzzah!

Monday, September 20, 2010


Dear fall, where are you?
I'm tired of the damn heat.
I miss my sweaters.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Today was not a bad day, per se, but it was a succession of unfortunate events. However, I'm going to play the Silver Lining Game!

I accidentally jammed a pair of sharply pointed beading tweezers underneath my thumb nail, which hurt like a bitch. My finger then decided to get infected and it hurt to look at it, much less try and use it for anything. I seriously thought I'd have to go to the doctor because it was so painful.

--Silver Lining - Neosporine, rubbing alcohol, and the ability to inflict pain on myself without passing out fixed my finger up fairly well! It still hurts, but at least it doesn't seem to be infected anymore!

I went to get my hair trimmed today and was lucky enough that the lady who cut my hair last time was there. She remembered my haircut, said she had been thinking about my haircut, and had even given another lady a haircut like mine not long ago. I told her I really liked the cut and I wanted to keep it, but I just needed it trimmed. She grabbed her razor comb and went to town on my head, blew it dry, and then fluffed it out. It looked fine, so I paid and left. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized that she had given me a completely different hair-cut than the one I walked in there with. All she had to do was trim it! When she had fluffed my hair out, she had moved the front part (which should have been longer than the rest) and hid the fact that she had cut it off as short as the rest AND left a chunk out of one side. Now I do not like my hair. I do not like it at all.

--Silver Lining - Hey, at least I'm not bald. Also, it at least won't have to be cut again for a while.

I drove all the way across the mountain to the fu-fu Super Wal-Mart so that I wouldn't have to drive to two different places to get groceries and the specific non-food stuff I needed. Target didn't have the non-food stuff I wanted, so I couldn't go there. I managed to get everything else I needed at the Super Wal-Mart EXCEPT for the one thing I specifically went to Wal-Mart to get in the first place because this particular store was out of it. I had to drive all the way back to the Ghetto Wal-Mart to get what I needed.

--Silver Lining - It was a nice day and I didn't mind the drive.

I had an overwhelming craving for McDonald's chicken mcnuggets, so I decided to drive through and get some for lunch. I know they are not good for me, I rarely eat them, but when that craving hits, I have to get them. As soon as I was done with lunch, I thought I was going to die. I don't know what in the world is in the evil, delicious nuggets, but I hurt all over and I think I had a mild stroke. I also had trouble thinking after I ate. I kid you not, it was like my brain wouldn't function, and I wasn't like that before I ate lunch. Why do the nuggets want to kill me?

--Silver Lining - I won't have to eat chicken mcnuggets again for months. The desire has been fulfilled for a while.

I also realized, only after being at home for about an hour, that I'd done all of those errands and gone all of those places, and my fly had been open the entire time.

--Silver Lining- There is no silver lining for that. That's just mortifying.

Let's home tomorrow is better!

Monday, September 13, 2010


1) I sang at morning services yesterday, and my mom, Grant and Tommy all came to hear me! I was so glad to see them! It was the first time mom had heard me sing since before Papa died, and the first time Grant has ever heard me sing at all, so I'm glad I didn't screw up too badly. I sang "Ain't No Grave," which I love, but I kind of cringe every time I have to say "ain't." I know, I know, it's part of the song, but still. I probably could have sung something a bit less...bouncy, I suppose, but that particular song had been a request. How could I say no to my fans? I'm totally kidding, it was our music minister's little girl who wanted me to sing it, so I obliged. Anyways, they finally got to hear me and we got to have lunch together. It was lots of fun.

2) Speaking of singing... I can't remember if I've mentioned this before (and if I have, forgive me) but I bought something a while back called "Singers Saving Grace" which is a throat spray that is supposed to help keep your throat clear. I haven't used it much, but whatever I'm allergic to in the fall has started to bloom or go to seed and I had already had a coughing fit after practicing my song before Sunday school, so I pulled it out and sprayed some in my mouth just in case. The stuff is DISGUSTING. Seriously, it's foul, but if it follows the rules of medicines, the worse it tastes, the better it works, right? Well, after I sprayed some and struggled over the taste, I noticed that the smell of the stuff was pretty strong, like Absinthe. I turned over the bottle to read the ingredients, and along the list of various herbs and plant extracts, the bottle says it's 65% grain alcohol! Holy cow! I happened to say to Steve that it smelled like liquor, and he said, "Yeah, I noticed when I sat down next to you." I had only used a little bit of the stuff, and it smelled like I had been doing shots! It was a cloud around me. Oy. I tried drinking some water, but that didn't help. I was so embarrassed, because one of the deacons came over and hugged me and I knew my breath smelled like I'd been drinking. I had to avoid everyone until I could get to our classroom where I finally got some gum and that got rid of the alcohol smell. The smell went away, but the shame lingered.

3) I made a batch of lemon-strawberry jam, and it actually jammed! I didn't think it was going to, because I checked it after several hours and it was still really liquidy. I was disappointed, because I had worked really hard on making it and hated to throw it away. The next day, I was getting ready to move the jars out of the way so I could empty them and saw that the jam had finally set up! Nice! Of course, now I'm going to have roughly eleventy thousand jars of jam and stuff this year. You will probably get some from me. You have no choice in the matter. I'll be the jelly fairy. Every time I go someplace, there will be a jar of jam left behind. AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

4) You want to know something embarrassing? When I first saw the section of "Organic" veggies and fruit at the supermarket several years ago, I was confused. I said out loud "Organic? Of course it's organic! It's carbon based, right?" I got some weird looks. Stupid words with lots of meanings!

5) This morning when I was at the gym a lady walked in who looked visibly pregnant. I didn't think much of it, I mean, even pregnant ladies need to exercise, right? However, when she got closer to me, I saw her face and she looked...old. I mean, much too old to be pregnant, not exactly MeeMaw old. In this day and age of medical assisted pregnancy, women can wait longer and longer to have kids, but geez. I tried not to stare, but it was difficult. It was even more difficult when she got on the elliptical machine next to mine. I kept looking sideways at her, pretending I was looking at something else. I couldn't help it! It was weird! I just wanted to stop, grab her by the shoulders and ask her WHY! Why did she want to be pregnant at her age? Does AARP cover pre-natal care? Did she want to knock another one out before menopause hit?! POR QUE?!!!!! I didn't, though. I'm fairly certain that I would be asked not to return to my gym if that was the case, and I don't want that to happen. I guess I could be wrong, of course. Maybe she isn't that old, but goodness...if she isn't, then she needs to get a good moisturizer or something.

6) I'm sorry if that last bit sounded rude. I'm not usually this judgmental and catty this early on a Monday. I blame it on my lack of sugar so far today. My apologies.

7) I got some business cards! Well, actually, they were sample cards I got from MOO, because I'd heard good things about their printing and I wanted to see what it was like. I paid a very small fee to keep the Moo logo off the back and I love how they turned out. They are very well done, shiny, slick and thick. My only problem with them is that I didn't put the business name or logo I do my freelance work under on them and I used my home number instead of my cell - but all of that was my fault. I'm not too bothered, though, because these were just samples. I'll give these out to people I know well, and order more with all of the right info on them later on.

Friday, September 10, 2010


1) The jelly making of 2010 has commenced! Mr. Lee brought me another several billion muscadines and I reduced them to molten, smashed grapes, with only a couple of painful grape burns and a random spattering of dark purple spots across my face, floor, clothes and stove. :) My first batch of jelly didn't actually jell, which I found out the hard way when I opened up a half full jar that I'd put in the fridge and tried to put it on a bagel. It came out of the jar in a jelly-like way, but as it reached room temperature, it kind of...melted. It still tasted OK, though. Better than last year's batch, IMO. There is apparently a fix, so I think I can save that batch. My second batch was much better, but it kind of exploded all over my kitchen. I saved most of it, but the rest had to be scraped off of my stove top, floor and counter top. Hopefully it will come out of my clothes! I don't think there is exactly a non-messy way to make jelly or jam, but at least I didn't set anything on fire. The smoke alarm went off once, but there were no flames! Score!

2) We got a call from the Macintosh repair guys, and they were able to fix my iMac and save all of the info on it! Whew! I don't like the idea of my computer being in a stranger's hands. I mean, it's not like I have naked pictures of myself on the hard drive or anything (that's what thumb drives are for after-all) but anyone who owns a personal computer winds up saving all kinds of things on there that may seem odd to people who don't know them. Maybe the guys who fix the computers don't even look through the files, but who knows? I totally would! At any rate, I'll be glad to get it back so that I can start putting my portfolio together again. I'll save everything to dozens of disks if I have to!

3) It has started getting cooler, which has been so very nice. It's not quite "cool" yet, just not melt-your-face-off hot anymore and that is good enough for now. I can't wait for fall, though. I love it when the trees change color. I've seen a bit of that happening around here, but mostly everything is still green. I have seen quite a few trees that have an odd look to them. The leaves are still green, but it is almost as if you can see red glowing through. It's like the leaves are blushing because they realize they've overstayed their welcome, and are embarrassed about it. I'm so ready for fall.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

While getting groceries the other day, Steve was lucky enough to locate some kind of wonderful blueberry cornbread stuff that was quite delicious. I think it was actually some kind of cake made of cornmeal instead of flour, but whatever it was, it was great. It wasn't rich, but it wasn't something you could eat a lot of at a time either, so the small loaf of the stuff lasted quite a few days. After lunch one day, I was jonesing for something a bit sweet, and I saw that we had one last slice of the cake and I decided I would eat it before Steve got home from work (so I didn't have to share, you see). I popped it into the microwave to give it a bit of a nuke, I poured a glass of milk and settled down at my computer desk to read something and enjoy my cake.

Now, because I was seated in front of the computer and reading something, and also because the nature of blueberries is to stain any surrounding cake, muffin or bread a purplish-greenish-blue, I didn't notice that I was about to take a bite out of a cake that contained a rotten blueberry. Even had I been paying attention, I still don't know if I would have been able to tell it was rotten, because blueberries baked inside pastry of any kind tend to already look smooshy and oozy, so at this point, I was boned. I took my first bite, chewed for a second, and thought to myself "What foul hell is this?!"

Apparently, inside my head, I talk like Frasier Crane.

A person faced with something this gross would have the initial reaction of spitting the cake out, don't you think? I might have done that, if I had been anywhere else but my office. However, I have learned over time that spitting food all over your computer isn't the proper way to care for electronics, so I simply sat there not chewing OR ridding myself of the food in my mouth. Also, since my brain had started this adventure with the idea of "YAY, DELICIOUS CAKE," for some reason it didn't hit me right away that something was actually wrong with the cake itself. I seriously thought to myself "Wow, is the milk bad?" Keep in mind, I had not tasted the milk at this point. It was as if my head was so wrapped around the idea that the cake was good, that it tried to convince me that something else was wrong entirely. It took another few chews before my tongue and brain agreed that it WAS the cake that was dodgy and my throat slammed shut, refusing to let me swallow my food, thereby keeping the foul, spoiled blueberry in my mouth even longer. A foul, spoiled, warm blueberry. That it was warm somehow made it worse.

I realize now that all of this happened in seconds, but as with other terrible things, time stretched out much longer, so this simple experience wound up feeling rather epic. Homer himself could have written volumes about this terrible thing and not adequately expressed the horror.

Don't worry, this story doesn't end with projectile vomiting or anything of the sort, and I did finally engage my faculties enough to spit out the cake and throw the rest of it away. I did have to run my tongue under the faucet in the kitchen, though, so I'm glad no one with a camera was around. It did teach me one very good lesson, which I will share with all of you. It's because I care...

**Never, ever eat the last piece of blueberry cornbread cake stuff. Always save it for your loving spouse. This way, if it is indeed rotten or spoiled, it isn't YOU who has to deal with it.**


Wednesday, September 08, 2010

*HeadDesk* *Repeat*

Yesterday the power went off. Well, it went off, came back on, went back off, flickered twice and went off again. In the process, my iMac got fried. It was plugged into a surge protector and everything, but it still died.

Steve messed about with it, and found out that the hard drive crashed, possibly for good.

I'm sad about my computer, of course, but the worst part about it right now is that my files may be irretrievable. The Mac is where I had all of my photographs, graphic files, and Adobe software. It's also where I kept the straggling remains of my professional portfolio. If the files are lost, then my portfolio won't just be slim, it'll be graveyard dead. Oy. That is everything I still had from college up to the freelance work I had been doing over the last week.

I'm sure the nice folks at Mac Resource will be able to retrieve my files (fingers crossed), and hopefully I will have some digital copies of at least SOME of my work stashed somewhere on thumb drives, I just have to find them.

I may cry.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010



Yesterday, Steve and I decided to take advantage of the holiday and the lovely weather and go on a drive to Scottsboro. We wanted to visit the First Monday sellers, but we managed to get there too late to really see very much. We saw a few junk dealers and some great antiques, and were even offered an insane deal on a set of antique furniture (seriously $50 for a sideboard and wash stand) by a man who didn't want to repack them. I would have loved to take advantage of that, but we were in the Challenger and wouldn't have been able to take them home! :(

Since we were too late for those guys, we decided to go over to the Unclaimed Baggage store! It was packed in there, mainly because it was their 40th anniversary, so we didn't hang around for too long. Neither Steve nor I enjoy really crowded, indoor places. Plus they had a freaking DJ blasting music that was honestly too loud for the size of building we were in.

Anyways, for the short time we were there, I got to peruse the "International" section of clothing that they have. I'm always kind of fascinated with the materials and clothes they have. Lots of Indian, Arabic, and African stuff is usually the norm, but occasionally they have other things sprinkled in. While I was looking through it all, I found a gorgeous red scarf with Indian embroidery on it, and the price was too good to pass by. I also found a 3 piece Indian outfit I liked, a long flowery thing, and what looked like a long, black dress with beads around the edges of the sleeves and a matching scarf. I was excited, because they were all so pretty and very cheap! True, I don't normally wear clothes from other cultures, but quite frankly it's because I didn't have any! I decided to change that!

Once we got home with my purchases, I decided to try them on. I know, I know, I should have done that at the store, but I didn't. My bad. There were just too many people in the store for me to want to wait in line for a dressing room. So I pulled out the lovely red scarf and looped it around my neck. Then I looped it again. Then again. It wasn't a scarf, apparently. What I took to be a scarf was a Sari, which is a long length of cloth that Indian women wear draped over an under dress type thing. I didn't realize what it was, because it had been folded in such a way that I couldn't tell how long it was. I'm not too disappointed, though, because it's several feet of gorgeous red silk, and I know I can figure out a way to use it!

The Indian outfit is something called a "Salwar kameez," at least according to Wikipedia, and it is a long tunic over a pair of M.C. Hammer pants and it also comes with a matching scarf thing. It was too small, because of course it was, but I think I can alter the top to fit. I'm at least going to try, because it's so pretty and I WANT to wear it! The Hammer pants, however, fit everywhere except in the calf part of my legs because they taper in a big way. Honestly, I'm not that bothered with the pants! :)

The long flowered thing turned out to be an African dress that is too big, but very comfortable. It makes me look like Mrs. Roper, so maybe I'll just get some big, smoked amber glasses, a bad perm, and some gaudy beads to wear with it. I suppose it will be my first official mumu!

The long black dress turned out to be the big mystery. It wasn't a dress at all, but more like a robe that had three buttons at the top and had a slit up the front to the waist. It obviously was meant to be worn over something, but there weren't any more pieces to the outfit. It wasn't until I put it on that I noticed it was very severe and modest, even with the beads around the wrist part of the sleeves. I also couldn't figure out what the scarf was for, since the neckline was so high and I couldn't find a place to attach it on the bodice. I was kind of nonplussed. I had figured everything else out, but not this! I finally threw the scarf over my head, and everything clicked. I went to college with a Muslim girl who dressed like this, only not as fancy! I have no idea what it is called, but the scarf is supposed to wrap around your head and the long cloak thing is to cover the rest of me. I thought it was called a burka, but I was wrong. I still have no idea what it is, but I don't think I will be able to wear it as it's supposed to be worn. At least not without winding up on no-fly lists across the country! I can fix the robe thing to be appropriate for church, though. I just have to fix the neckline and possibly the sleeves and find a skirt or under dress for it. I can also use the head scarf as a wrap, because it is long enough and has beads around the edge. Of course, you realize that the one thing that fit me perfectly would be the one thing that I couldn't wear as-is. Typical.

Monday, September 06, 2010


I have discovered another peeve quite recently.

Sometimes things just fly right up my nose like one of those tiny, fluttery bugs that you don't see until you accidentally walk into a swarm of them. You know what I'm talking about, right? They get up there, and even though you are pretty sure the bug flew right back out again, you still have the sneaking suspicion that it might have laid eggs in your brain or something? that just me? Oh, well...sometimes I get the same feelings about something I read, see or hear.

For the last couple of months, I have been on the search for some little things that I can do to make my life a bit healthier. I am not talking about going to the gym or throwing out all of the food I have with high fructose corn syrup in it (suck on THAT, Jillian Michaels), but more like little changes I can make that don't overwhelm me so that I might be more likely to stick with them. Since we have a Fresh Market and an Earth Fare within easy reach these days, I thought that maybe bringing healthier snacks and more organic products into our house a bit at a time might be a nice thing to try. So far, this has been going pretty well. I mean, I can't say that everything I've gotten has been spectacular (i.e. health shakes with algae in them), nor have I had any earth-shattering, positive health changes since trying the new stuff, but I've found a few new things that I like a lot and knowing that they are better for me is a good feeling.

I took my search to the internet to find other small ways of making healthy changes, and I discovered an entire world I wasn't really aware of: the granola crunchy, tree huggy, raw food, all natural, nuevo-hippies. These people are SERIOUS about being natural in all kinds of ways. They are a Volkswagen van and a couple of Burning Man tickets away from basically setting up a commune.

OK, let me clarify, I wasn't UNAWARE of these kind of people, but I never really knew many details about them or the way they did things until I was doing my research. I have found people who only eat organic foods and people who don't cook their food in anything hotter than a food dehydrator. I've found folks who will only wear makeup that is made from beets and algae, as well as people who never use any chemicals when cleaning their houses. There is a whole new world of weirdness out there, if you know where to look.

I've actually learned a lot of very interesting and useful things by reading about these unconventional ways of life. I have begun eating Chia seeds, which you can put on anything, are very good for you (and they make a weird kind of gel if they get wet) and I've started washing my face with honey. I even tried making some of the makeup with the beets, but it didn't work out too well. These things sound unusual, I know, but they are actually good things that make some sense when you read about why people do them. There are genuinely some websites with good advice, although not everything is useful for everyone. The things I've learned about came from many different sources, and while all of them differ in some way, they almost all have one very irritating thing in common and that thing is what peeves me.

It isn't my intention to judge these people for the way they live, so please don't think that is where I'm going with this. I'm also not condemning every person I've come across, because it isn't all of them that do it. The fact that there are people who sew their own reusable maxi pads out of old pillow cases and never eat wheat isn't the thing that irritates me. It is their all consuming, highly convicted, absolute surety that what they are doing is right, and anyone who does it differently is a complete and utter idiot. Yes, it is the self-righteous hippies that have earned a place in my menagerie of pet peeves.

It wasn't so obvious at first glance, really. I mean, almost everyone has their own preferred way of doing things, so you expect to see people really extolling their lifestyles if they are going to go through the trouble of writing about and photographing it. For example, if someone is a vegetarian and writing about it, you expect them to talk about how much they like being vegetarian. I'm cool with that, and I admire people who have the self control to be vegetarian, at least until they begin telling me that meat is murder (delicious, delicious murder.) Vegans are worse, because they get mean about it. I'm generalizing, I know, but every vegan I've come across has been defensive and judgy about anyone who isn't also vegan (I chalk it up to the lack of meat in their diet.) I actually bought a vegan cookbook by accident,decided to give it a chance, and had to give it away to a friend because the people who wrote the book were insufferable.

Then we have the Raw Food people I came across, which weren't so much mean and judgy as much as they had a superior attitude. Maybe they didn't even mean to sound like that, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. The more I read, though, the worse it seemed to get. I mean, eating nothing but raw foods (nothing heated over 160 degrees, I think, because they believe that anything higher than that kills the nutrients in the food) is both complicated and inventive. Seriously, it's a hard way to do things when you have to start your dehydrators a day before to make sure you have dinner ready on time. It also calls for unusual combinations of foods to make sure everything sticks together. It's an interesting way to live, certainly, but why exactly does that make them feel as if they need to pat the rest of us on the heads and marvel at our plebeian attitudes towards food? They drink raw milk? Good for them. Personally, I think that's dangerous (and so would Louis Pasteur.) They feed their kid nothing that wasn't 100% organic to begin with, completely vegetarian, and never, ever let them have anything as common and vulgar as a french fry? Good for them! Although I hate to tell them that it won't give their kid super powers, and also, if they ever let their precious snowflake go to a friend's house, they will probably be given something to eat with artificial colors in it. They are the equivalent of those annoying people who are on diets, who then watch you eat and then tell you how fattening the food YOU are eating is. I'm completely fine with people who eat differently than I do, but when they start trying to convert me by being condescending and judgmental...that's when I begin to want to stab them with a fork.

Food aside, I was reading a blog about natural beauty products and clicked on an article that was quite interesting. Everything was fine until I reached the part where the reader is admonished for using products that have chemicals in them. OK, fine...that writer IS writing for a health blog after all, and may have been shilling for some product. I can totally dig that. It just got worse, though. By the time I got to the comment section of this article, things had devolved to the point of actual ugliness: "I just can't believe there are people who are stupid enough to use products that aren't all natural." Uh...ok? And how does that make them stupid? Or my personal favorite "I never wear makeup, but..." and then they go on to talk about how silly people are for buying and using makeup from a conventional brand instead of buying organic and natural stuff from some obscure company that is located in the wilds of Nova Scotia or wherever. Nice. That is like me saying "I never watch football, but here is why I think your favorite team is overrated and badly trained, and why I think you should be fans of this other team I also don't care anything about because they practice on real grass instead of AstroTurf and have an endangered species as a mascot." There was even one person who mentioned the dangers of deodorant. I kid you not, they actually said "I always use *whatever product they were talking about* but not even every day. You don't even NEED to use deodorant, really, if you stop using it for a while."

Say what?! Okay, everybody out of the pool.

Look, I can understand that these people have found something that works for them, and that's great. If they want to spend huge amounts of money on organic and natural products that are hard to find, more power to them. If they get a warm fuzzy for using these things or eating certain foods because it makes them healthier, good for them. What I can't understand, however, is their almost universal disdain for people who do things differently. Everyone, everywhere, does things differently, don't they?

I also don't like the fact that they guild the lily a bit when they talk about how this whole organic lifestyle thing works. If you listen to them, this is the picture you get:

Maybe some people actually live like this, I don't know. You'd think, by the descriptions of the people who talk about how great this lifestyle is, that once you purge your life of all of the chemicals and artificial colorings, only buy organic cotton clothes and shoes made from hemp and recycled newspapers, and buy all of your vegetables from the most DARLING farmer's market (and oh, PLEASE don't even get me started on the farmer's markets) that your whole life becomes this beautiful, natural, easy experience. Not so much.

What they don't tell you is that some of those chemicals you use in shampoo and soap were created for reasons. Not everyone can wash their hair in olive oil and milk...I know I can't. They tell you that there are natural ways to wash your face no matter what kind of skin you have, but those ways don't always work. Sometimes it will just give you a rash or pimples the size of dimes. They don't talk about how natural deodorants might keep you from smelling bad, but they don't stop the giant pit rings from soaking into your shirt. They don't talk about how easily cotton clothes shrink, or how natural dyes fade quickly, or how sometimes wearing hand sewn, fair trade shoes don't give your feet the support they need. They also don't talk about how stinking expensive it all turns out to be. It's all good and well for people who can afford it to buy and use these products to do so, but it is ridiculous for them to look down on people who can't afford them, and although they don't say it right out loud, I always get the feeling that they don't care if you can honestly afford it or not, they will still judge you for not doing it! UGH!

SIGH. OK, I guess my rant is just about done. I realize I have just ranted and raved over something kind of stupid. I can't help it if smarmy better-than-you types make me mad, though. I suppose this is why it is petty.

Thursday, September 02, 2010