SO...

Well, I don't like to write this, but to make it seem real, I'm going to.

Steve is divorcing me. He told me last Thursday.

I didn't want this, and for all intents and purposes, I didn't think it would actually happen. I thought things would get better, or at least we'd work on our problems. In fact, I thought we'd been doing better for the last couple of months. That is because I am a trusting, naive fool.

I am not worth being forgiven. I am to be thrown away.

No idea on the timeline, or where I'll live, or how I'll mentally deal with it, but those are all things I'll consider later. 

There are a million things I will have to think to do, but I'm not in the right frame of mind to think of anything. Right now I'm having to make myself do one thing at a time just to get through the days.

I can't eat, I have to drug myself to sleep, and my life is now a giant crater where a bomb has gone off and nothing has survived. I am barely hanging on to my sanity.

So, while everyone else gets to go and live their best life, mine has been broken beyond repair. All over a mistake so stupid that I can't even believe I was idiotic enough to make in the first place.

I don't know how I'm going to survive.