MORE RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

 1) Speaking of my new job.

This week we are gearing up for a big deal conference that takes place in our town. It's a national thing, so we have people in the cyber security industry coming in and everyone is doing last minute things to get ready. It's...a lot. 

One of the things the new company I work for does is host a big party for some of the attendees after the first night, and somehow I got wrangled in to help plan it. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't know anything about planning a party. I didn't get invited to them, I don't usually host them, and I've certainly never helped plan anything bigger than a baby shower before! This is a big deal, a corporate event with about a thousand moving parts and I've already been told that no matter how smoothly it goes, we will get complaints. So, you know, no pressure.

The marketing manager had to go out of the country while this was in the beginning stages of being planned, so I was given a lot of tasks to take care of that required spending a lot of money and making decisions that I didn't feel qualified to make, but I did them. I picked a theme, a caterer, a menu (thank goodness the location was already taken care of.) I named specialty cocktails, ordered favors, made decorations and designed invitations and posters. It's been a big project and occasionally I just lie face down on the floor and have mini freak outs that something big will go wrong and I'll get blamed. I'm very grateful that the marketing manager came back, booked a band, and took care of some of the more dirty details (she is much better at getting people to do stuff they don't want to do) and one of the marketing specialists took care of the social media and gave me direction about who to talk to and graphics guidance. It's been a learning experience, to say the least.

So keep your fingers crossed that in a couple of days, when I'm in my LBD dress and converse high tops trying to babysit a bunch of drunk computer geeks, I don't run screaming from our party and drive off into the sunset.

2) I miss my friend. Very much. I kind of thought that, at least by this time, I wouldn't still feel quite so many things. Alas...  

It's kind of like pulling a muscle, in a weird way. You know how you do that, and if you sit or lie down the muscle might not hurt at all, but when you get up again or move a certain way you definitely remember that you hurt yourself? It's like that. 

I kind of feel like an asshole for feeling the way I do, honestly. I know no one else involved probably thinks of me or any of this stuff at all anymore. I caused a problem, so my feelings don't really matter. I know this. I wish my feelings knew this.

Anyway, I miss my friend. Still. A lot. It's stupid. I'm stupid. Ugh.

3) *Spongebob Squarepants Narrator Voice* A few days later...

Ok, so the first entry was written a few days ago, but I got so busy I had to pause my blog until I had a spare moment to finish. I know you guys are thrilled.

The party happened last night and from all accounts was a huge success! I ordered too much food, we might have paid a bit much for the open bar, but all the industry geeks (and guests) seemed to have a great time. The local band that the marketing director hired was genuinely amazing, although too loud according to our CEO, but otherwise everything went smoothly. 

It was a Bourbon Street/Mardi Gras themed event, so I spent most of the evening standing by the door giving out beads and greeting people. Because I'm not in the industry myself, I kind of hid in the corner with a few of my coworkers to observe and run interference if  necessary. Thankfully, no interference was needed! Mostly I just enjoyed the music, was charming to our guests, and stayed out of the way.

One guy came by and asked me what our company did, and because I haven't worked there long, and because I'm not actively involved with the cyber security that we do, I looked a bit like an idiot. However, I have been in that situation before so I told him I was a receptionist who had only been there a couple of months (implying that as time goes on I could not only fully explain the complexities of cyber security, but hack his whole personal computer) and pushed him off on someone else to explain.  This same guy asked if I was a Booth Babe. I was assured that was a compliment. Ok, then!

As the night wound down, some of us finally just took advantage of the band and did some crazy dancing, which was fun. Every part of my body hurts from that this morning, though, so I think that is a sign I had a good time. Heehee!

All in all, I think it went well and people seemed to be impressed with what I was able to pull together for a party planning amateur, so I'm calling it a win. 

4) One thing I did miss about going to an event was being able to have a cocktail. We had a special hurricane (the Cybersecurity Cyclone) made for the party that everyone said was delicious. I would have liked to try it, but I couldn't, of course.

Although I've been to scotch tastings - where I don't actually take more than a literal taste, and have had tiny sips of Steve's drinks to see what they taste like, I can't really drink for another three months and some change. I joke a lot about wanting alcohol, but honestly, I'm not sure I miss drinking all that much.  Mostly before I liked to try odd cocktails and specially drinks to see what they were like. I like to taste things, especially things I've never had before! I'm not one to order wine with dinner, or sit down with a glass of alcohol of any kind to watch TV, so most of my drinking has been social. The floopy, fuzzy feeling was fun, of course, and it helped in social situations where I needed to be a bit less anxious, but other than that I kind of like being the "sober sister." If someone needs a ride, or needs someone to watch their stuff, or if someone needs to have a clear head to make decisions, I'm glad to do that. Unfortunately, being the sober one makes me worried for people who aren't. I worry they aren't going to call an Uber if they need one, and I'm super aware of how many drinks people have throughout the night. I don't want to be a buzzkill, or the drink police, but it's amazing how aware you are about what other people are doing when you aren't buzzed. I will make sure people get water and I'll ask if they need a ride. I dunno, I just want people to be safe. That's my SADD and BACCHUS background shining through I guess. Maybe I'll keep the no drinking going? Who knows?

BUT! I did find out that I have chaotic, drunk-girl energy, even when sober, especially when I'm dancing or otherwise having a good time! Maybe I don't need alcohol, just a reason to be stupid and have fun!

We'll see...check back with me in three months and change. :)

SO...WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

OK, so...it's been a while. I have never had so much, and so little, happening at the same time in my whole life. 

This is where I will talk about it.

I used to work at the church. I still do, but I used to, too. (Forgive me, Mitch Hedberg.) 

However, now, I also work full time as an office administrator and receptionist at the same company where Steve works! Their last office admin quit because she thought the job was boring and someone Steve works with thought of me to fill the role. 

Steve asked me if I would be interested, and because I'd been feeling like my days as a church secretary were nearing an end, I told him I would submit my resume. I didn't think much of it, since I wasn't actively looking for a new job, but I figured it couldn't hurt to do that much. I assumed that it would take a month or more for the process to get going, but everything happened all at once. Apparently my resume was impressive enough for a recruiter to call my cell phone, and then our house phone, and then my cell phone again (calls I didn't answer because I didn't know who they were from) before I finally talked to them.  I don't know how many other people they had talked to about the job before me, but between that phone call, my interview, and being hired, it might have been a week. It was very fast!  I didn't expect that at all. There were definitely cons about leaving the job I had, but there were a lot of pros, too! It pays significantly more, I get a 401k and benefits, paid vacation and sick leave...all that jazz that comes along with having a grown up job. Plus, it was something new! I haven't had anything new in such a long time! So, I didn't see how I could turn it down.

I had to give my two weeks notice at the church, which I felt terrible about. As I've mentioned before, most of the staff of the church left in December. The pastor, his wife, and his daughter and son-in-law (who led the children's program) left to work at a different church, leaving only me and the youth pastor behind to hold things together. We finally got an interim pastor, and so had a bit of stability, and then I got another job. 

It's weird to leave a job you've been doing for 10 years, because you know all of the ins and outs, you know the routine, and you know where all of the paperclips are. You also know someone else is going to come in and move all of your stuff, change all of your rules and routines, and it's going to drive you crazy. I felt that my leaving was very abrupt, so it was like leaving a baby on someone's porch without leaving a note. It was a really fraught couple of weeks, because I had been running the day to day operations of the office pretty much alone for such a long time, and I knew that I'd be leaving them in a bind. They can't sign checks, they never answer the phone, and they are usually leaving the office or working from home, or some such thing, so I was always holding down the fort. Well, the fort was going to need a new caretaker, and that wasn't my business anymore...or so I thought. More on that later.

My two weeks were soon up, and I started my new job. The best description of my first month there would be "drinking from a fire hose." Please let this comic from The Oatmeal visually express how I felt.

Only imagine the soccer balls (or futballs, if you're nasty) being tasks. Tasks that I'd never done before, or had any idea how to do, or never heard of. I genuinely don't know how the lady who was there before me got bored doing this job, because it never freaking ends. She must have been some kind of genie or something to keep all the plates that need to be spinning spinning.

I was completely overwhelmed. I'm not going to lie, even after a month I'm still sometimes still completely overwhelmed. Granted, I now know how to do almost everything that I'm being asked to do, but the requests come thick and fast (That's what she said. Sorry...) and constantly. My time at the church taught me how to take care of an office, so it's not like that part is difficult. At least now I don't have to do taxes, or HR, or bookkeeping, but I don't just support the corporate office. I also support offices in at least 7 different states. Any one of them can potentially email me at any time and ask me to order things, or organize a party, or order them lunch, or make reservations for something. Thankfully, only two or three of the out of state offices have done this so far, but it does happen. I'm also not just taking care of the office itself, I'm assisting marketing, accounting, business development, and will eventually be helping out the R&D department as soon as I figure out how to use the software. I'm a lady of all work, and between my normal duties, and what are called "drive bys" which are the random things people come to my desk and ask me to do throughout the day, I work from about 7:30 to 4:30 with few breaks. I'm not even supposed to start work until 8:00, but I have to leave the house very early to avoid school traffic and I have to drive across town now, so I get to the office early and have to play catch up and then the day gets away from me from there. I leave there every day completely exhausted and wrung out like a wet rag. Also, working with Steve? Hardly see him at all anymore. We can't even drive in together because I have to run errands all of the time and have to have my car with me, and he's so busy with after work stuff now that we hardly are in the same room at the same time anymore. Me being in his workspace has caused a bit of friction, but nothing terrible, thankfully. Just the adjustments that you have to make when working with your spouse, I guess.

Some days I'm straight up not having a good time, y'all.

But please don't get me wrong, it isn't terrible. It isn't because I don't like the company, or the job, or the people, or even the random tasks. All of those things are great, actually! Everyone has been so kind, patient with my screw ups, and helpful! Also, I still get Fridays off since very few, if any, people come into the office that day.  I'm even getting to do real, legit graphic design work for the company, which I love. Mostly it's because I'm so. Frigging. Tired. All. Of. The. Time. Exclamation Point.  I'm tired from trying to keep up with everything and I think about work too much. I don't like thinking about work when I'm not at work. That is not the way the world should be! I woke up in the middle of the night one night in a panic that I forgot to do something, and had to go to my computer to fix it so I could go back to sleep. I went from a job that was low key and well known to the complete unknown and responsibilities I have never faced before, and it's stressful. I know that part will eventually smooth out, but for now, I have given up almost everything but working, eating, and going to sleep. That's almost exclusively how things are now. 

I was already in a place where I wasn't interested in doing anything at all, and having to force myself to get out of the house and not become a hermit. I still feel like that, and now I catch myself sometimes going to bed at 8:30 in the evening, or if I don't do that, just sitting down once I get home and not moving again until I decide to go to bed. I still have to force myself to do things that need to be done, but it's even harder now. That is a terrible way to live life, but that's where I am. I'm too blah. 

Plus, I still work for the church. Two-weeks-notice who? I couldn't bring myself to abandon them completely. The lady who comes in to do bookkeeping did not want to do the secretary job the entire week, so now on Sundays I stay after church for a while, and on Wednesdays I go from my new job to my old one and do all of the administrative tasks that don't get done during the week. They have put out an ad for the job, but have had very little interest. The problem is that the job pays very little and doesn't have any benefits. It's basically a job built for a person who doesn't really need a job, or who has another income in the family that covers the majority of the bills. I was lucky to fit that bill well enough that I could do that job for as long as I did, but these days people (rightfully) want more out of their work, and so it's going to be harder for them to find someone who isn't already retired or who literally just wants busy work during the week. It's frustrating for them, and I'm exhausted trying to keep up with it all.

However, I don't mean do sound all "woe is me." It's not like that. I'm just stretched so thin right now that even the things I actually wanted to do before just seem like a chore. I'm adjusting, and that is never a fun process. My work/life balance isn't balanced. 

I have, however, been able to tint my hair any color I want without anyone giving me shit, so that is one very silver (a color I'd like to try one day) lining! I'll take those where I can get them! :)

So, that is an update on my life at the moment. I'm a secretary squared and my life is about as vibrant as a broken toothpick! I hope you are having a more exciting time than I am! 

I hug you.