Had dinner last night with my dear friend, Kenny. As usual, we met at the "We Swear We're Not Racist" Cracker Barrel down in Cullman.

I got there a few minutes early and took the opportunity to visit the ladies room. When I was washing my hands, this lady was at the sink frantically brushing off her clothes and straightening her hair. She had the look of someone who was on a first date and wanted to make sure she looked good. This didn't turn out to be the case! As I was drying my hands, she turned to me and said "I don't mean to gross you out or anything..."

***OK, let's pause right there for a second to contemplate that statement. This is usually the thing that I least want to have a complete stranger in a public restroom say to me. I'm sure that's probably true for most of you as well. I mean, it's not a plesant thing to hear from even your dearest friends, but you can stand it because you love them and want to help them out if you can. You might also kind of know what to expect if you hear it from a friend. A stranger, not so much.***

"I don't want to gross you out or anything, but do I have throw-up in my hair?" I was a bit non-plussed. I was also torn between wanting to be helpful and NOT wanting to see if she actually did have vomit in her hair. I took the helpful route because she looked so pitiful. She did not have vomit in her hair (thank God) and I told her so. This small act of kindness on my part caused her to launch into the whole story as to what led up to her having to ask that question. I don't have any idea how long I stood there listening to her talk about her digestive disturbance, but I really, really, really wanted to leave. She was worried that she was going to have to explain to her friends where she went (which is obviously more embarassing than telling Random-Lady-In-The-Bathroom) and why she had wet spots on her clothes (ew). A word of advice...don't get the grilled chicken tenders from that Cracker Barrel! I told her to go into the store and buy the countriest Cracker Barrel shirt she could find and tell them she just HAD to have it. That made her laugh and then she apologized for having to gross me out. I just waved my hand and told her not to worry about it and then I walked out before she could feel comfortable enough to share any stories she might have had about her last visit to the OB/GYN.

Kenny was already out there on the porch by the time I came out, so as usual we sat and talked a bit. I had already solved the "where are we going to eat" problem before I got there, so that was out of the way. I knew he hadn't seen Lois, so we went to my car and decided to drive around a bit before we went to dinner. I let him drive, because let's face it, I enjoy handsome men driving me around in convertables! I can't help it. I even carpooled with Steve this morning so he could do it. Don't judge me! Anyways, I definately feel that I know Cullman a little better than I did before. I also realized how much I love driving through little towns like that and looking at the old businesses and the faded signs painted on the bricks. As I told him, I wish I could go back in time and see what places like that looked like when they were new! I don't think I'd ever want to live in Cullman, but it is a charming little place to visit.

As we had finally gotten hungry, we went to a place recommended by a couple at my church. It was called "All Steak" which was totally false because they had lots of other things on the menu! It was on the 4th floor of a bank building and it was a nice place. I had done some research on it before I met him that evening because the last time a friend and I went to a place that I had just heard about, we ended up in a redneck biker bar where they thought we were prostitutes. *That's a story for another day.* The review of it said that it was a place where the elite (or elite-ish, anyway) of Cullman come to discuss politics and football! Kenny had it pegged right away and said almost that exact thing. We were sat in a big, and almost empty, dining room. Mondays must not be very busy days for anything in Cullman. There were five occupied tables and only one server. I'd like to say she was prompt and attentive, but I'm pretty sure that she forgot we were there at times. Other than the absent waitress, I had a great time. The food and company were good and I leared several things I didn't know! Among other things, I've learned that if I'm ever a waitress at a resturaunt where Kenny dines, I'm going to need to develop a special X-Man power of knowing when his glass is empty. A battle of wits is sure to follow if his ice rattles. There is apparently a waiter named Ward that I'm going to have to have as my Shaolin Master if I want to learn that. I've learned that it is possible for a Freudian slip to make you want to die right on the spot. I also learned that this resturaunt probably has the only non-chocolate dessert that can render me a quivering puddle of goo. Orange rolls from the kitchen of heaven its self. You don't order them, but they bring them to you after you're done with your meal. I've already made plans with Josh and Steve to go back for more. After we hear the Monks chant, of course.

After dinner we drove back to the CB and talked for a few minutes before leaving. All in all, it was a lovely way to spend an evening!

When I got home, Steve had both finale episodes of "Dr. Who" downloaded and we watched them. Daleks AND Cybermen...it was almost too much to deal with. They were the last episodes with Billie Piper in them, which was sad because I liked her alot as the companion. The ending kind of sucked, but I'm still looking forward to the next season. It won't come out until next year, though. Gah! I love watching the new Dr. Who with Steve! I don't care much for the old ones, but since he knows so much about the whole story line, he can answer questions for me. Very awesome.

So my Monday was wonderful. It's days like this that make me realize how overly blessed I am! :)

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I talked not long ago about a load of laundry that I had lost, remember? Well I found it! Woo-Hoo! It was on the kitchen table under some other random things! The inconvenience of having to rewash it was completely overshadowed by the joy of finding it!

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I talked not long ago about a load of laundry that I had lost, remember? Well I found it! Woo-Hoo! It was on the kitchen table under some other random things! The inconvenience of having to rewash it was completely overshadowed by the joy of finding it!

There is no good reason for me to have posted these pictures except for the fact that I had meant to, once again, post my pictures of the cookout we had on the 4th and I forgot to do it again. These pictures were taken on my last trip to Georgia! Yay for nature!

I'm not going to do a full blown WEEKEND UPDATE this time simply because I don't think I did anything interesting. However, never fear, I will once again give you the Readers Digest Condensed Version of my weekend!

Friday I made myself a new badge lanyard so that I don't have to keep coming up with creative ways of clipping my badge to my shirt. I hate having my badge on my collar. Of course, it doesn't tend to get stuck within my signs that way, but where is the fun in that? My new lanyard is red and silver...very spiffy! I also made some new earrings. I forgot that I had so many different kinds of beads and wires and such. When I get into a new hobby, I tend to stock up on more supplies than I'll ever need. I certainly have more beads than I'll probably ever use. I decided that I would find a use for all seven billion of those beads eventually! Now I have 4 new pairs of earrings that I need to find time to wear. I'm going to have to get a few more peircings before the beads are totally gone. : )

Saturday Steve and I spent the morning doing errands and such. He left to hand out at the SpaceDome with Anthony (I respectfully declined to join them) and I stayed at home to make purses! I'm finally getting the hang of sewing, at least the simpler aspects of it, and I found a pattern for a bag online that wasn't too complicated. I made two of them before I got the hang of it. I gave those to my mom! : ) My mom is the kind of person who has always hung my artwork on the fridge, so bless her, I still give her stuff to hang around. I'm pretty sure she wishes I had turned out to be a micro-biologist! At least anything I gave her would be small. I also have been learning to crochet lace, but that hurts my eyes and my hands too much to get very involved in. Basically it's using a hook about the same size as the end of a toothpick to crochet with sewing thread. It's beautiful (or at least it's supposed to be) when it's finished, but it's almost not worth the trouble!

Sunday Steve was feeling bad, so I went to church and to my parent's house alone. I came back to find Steve still sick. I became alarmed when I realized he had been asleep the whole time I had been gone. I made him get up and sit in the livingroom with me in case he passed out or died. At least I would know if I needed to call 911 if he fell out of his chair and not just think he was asleep in bed! He must have felt pretty rotten because he didn't complain when I wanted to watch a documentary on KV-63 (which I'm totally involved in right now!). I didn't think he cared about mummies, but we both enjoyed watching it. Gah, I wish I was an Egyptolgist! Anyways, he ended up feeling better as the evening wore on, so I didn't have to call an ambulance after all. Yay!

I did have one slight adventure on Saturday night while Steve was gone. I decided that I would go out back to take the dogs some treats and play with the dogs for a few minutes. We don't usually do that because they forget their manners when we are outside and they feel that 65 and 70 pounds of dog isn't too much to pounce onto an unsuspecting person. Also, Bear won't let us cut his nails, so he's got some vicious claws! Anyways, I stepped outside and in my haste to keep the dogs out of the garage, I shut the door behind me...forgetting it locks automatically. So I locked myself out of the house, the dogs are jumping on me, and I can't even get to a phone to call Steve so that he can come and rescue me! So I ended up having to scale the fence, which was hard because stupid me wore flip-flops with 2 inch bottoms outside instead of thinner shoes. Those shoes are not good for wedging my feet into chain link! I finally got over and got the spare key and let myself back in. No harm, no foul! : )

That is all.

You know, I'm curious.

I just finished reading an article on CNN.com about three people who were arrested for trying to sell Coke secrets to Pepsi. It got me thinking about how Coke has a secret formula (I think, anyway) and how it has been protected all of these years.

I don't know how accurate the crime shows like CSI are, but they always show this machine that can correctly identify just about any susbstance that is entered into it. I know the machine is real because I saw one at work on a documentary about forensics, but can it identify anything?

That being said...couldn't just anyone with access to one of these machines put some coke in there and find out what it's made of? If you know, please tell me. It's going to bother me otherwise.

That is all.

I had every intention of a very photo-heavy post about the 4th. I actually had my camera and actually got pictures of everyone doing thier holiday thing! However, my camera (dear little Kodak...how I love thee) decided that it was not going to jive with my work Macintosh, so the pictures were loaded at home and I never got around to posting from the Co-Pilot chair in my home office. So, in lieu of photos, you get descriptions. Woo-Hoo!

I worked both Monday and Tuesday. It was by choice, so I wasn't cursing anyone's name for having to be here. I'm the only person in the Marketing department who is not considered full time, so I don't get either vacation or sick leave to take at my leisure. So if I take the day off - they take the pay off. I don't mention this to be bitter, I mention it to explain why I would choose to work instead of play! Anyway, since I have pretty much caught up with all of my work, I was able to take it easy while I was here. I had a few little things to take care of, but I pretty much puttered around, learned some new crochet stitches, and listened to audio books. Too bad every day at work can't be like those! : ) After work, Steve picked me up and we headed out to Josh's house.

*Picture of Josh's house number "218"*
Although Josh lives in one of those neighborhoods where you have a mixture of $500,000 homes all the way down to more modest garden homes, he still refers to his end of the suburb as "The Hood". Pretty much that means his house cost around $150,000 or so. He's also the only one of us who lives far enough in the country to where fireworks are not illegal. He had invited us over for a barbeque (as he calls it...silly yankee) *picture of my foot with the grill* and so we all sat about while Greg and Shannon *picture of them cooking* grilled Bubba Burgers. I thought we might have lost Greg in an unfortunate lighter fluid accident at one point. The coals weren't catching very well, so he walked out and grabbed the bottle of lighter fluid. He proceeded to squirt a hefty amount onto the coals with no luck. Shannon and I turned to talk to one another and we hear "WHUMP!" and a sick orange glow covers us both. I had the feeling we would look around and find nothing more than a vaguely Greg-shaped pillar of ash, but he managed to escape from the fireball with only a few less eyebrows!

After the food was the fireworks! I absolutely LOVE watching fireworks! I prefer the big fancy professional ones, but the ones that the guys were shooting off were entertaining! I tried to take some pictures of them, but even on my fastest setting, all I got were some pictures of black sky. I used the video setting for most of the evening, so I got some really great footage of little sparks of light and then people running away from them. I had just turned off the camera when I heard someone yell a curse word. I looked up and one of the big flowering ones had fallen over. Steve, Greg and Anthony had made it safely back to the lanai, but Josh was still out there with the firework. All I remember from that was sort of a slow motion bloom of sparks illuminating Josh as he ran away from it. You know those movies where Arnold Swhatsyoumacallit runs away from a big explosion in slow motion and everything, including the sound is slowed way down? Nooooooooooooooooooooo... That's what happened. We were all laughing so hard by the time he got to us, we couldn't do anything else for a long time. Poor Josh! Luckily he was unscathed. When the finale came around, I got some pretty good footage, but a bug picked that time to fly directly down the front of my shirt, so after a couple of seconds of fireworks, you hear me squeak and the camera just goes all over the place from there.

Once we cleaned up, we all trooped inside to watch TV. It was a fun evening! I'll have to figure out how to post video for you to get to see some of what we did.

Now it's time for my WEEKEND UPDATE!

Try and control your bladder... ;)

I didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped this weekend, but I probably would have if I had tried a littler harder!

Friday I got home from work knowing I'd have a few blank hours alone. I decided that I would mow the yard so that it wouldn't have to be done on Saturday. Boy, I was sexy! I pretty much grabbed the first things I could get my hands on to wear while I was out there and I ended up wearing a blue tube top (yes, I own one - stop gagging), a khaki skort that I had originally thought was a pair of shorts (and decided to keep on wearing since I didn't want to waste time searching for the actual shorts) and my pink and gray sneakers with white socks. I'm telling you, there should be a fashion magazine dedicated to what we wear when doing yard work! Anyways, I weed-whacked and I mowed with the riding mower. Except for that evil strip of grass right in front of our house that I can never seem to tame, the yard looks so much nicer than it did! I did accidentally hit a baby bunny with my weed trimmer, but it didn't hurt it. That stupid bunny kept hiding in the grass along my trimming path, so it kept having to run away from me. It finally ended up climbing up the stairs and jumping off of the porch to get away from me. I hope it's not too badly hurt! The rest of the evening was spent playing the Sims 2, which I now have the "Open 4 Business" expansion pack for. I really, really suck at owning an imaginary business! None of the sims I play can ever make any money and people keep getting into fights with each other in the check out lanes. Oh well, it's fun to try anyway. : )

Saturday I had hazy plans to clean and do laundry, per my usual. I did do laundry, but I boycotted cleaning and made bread instead! I found a recipe on the internet that sounded promising and I used the bread machine to make the dough. The only problem I really had was that the directions had the wrong oven temperature written in, so instead of 220 degrees for 20 minutes, I ended up baking it for 220 degrees for an hour and 300 degrees for 10 minutes. The bread didn't burn, believe it or not, but it was really dense. Sigh...Sara Lee I aint!

I also had to get groceries that afternoon. As I was checking out, the cashier got on my ever-loving nerves. I'm sure if I were seventeen, he would have been charming. I also know that he wasn't trying to be annoying, but he apparently hasn't learned when enough talking is just enough talking. He picked up something that had French writing on it and read it out loud. I responded with one of the only French words I know, "Oui." I also know the requisite French curse words, but it was neither the time nor the place to use them. I realized at that moment that if he knew French, he would take that one word and make it the basis of an assumption that I am both fluent in French and want to talk to him in French. Josh does this often...I love him dearly, but it's one of the few things he does that makes me want to sew him into a burlap sack and beat him to death with a rake. I tried to cut him off before he started in on me by telling him I didn't know anymore French, but he was not deterred. He began rattling off something in French. I had to tell him - AGAIN - that I didn't know French. Then he asked, in Spanish, if I knew Spanish. I can understand Spanish a little, I can even respond to that question in Spanish, but that's about it. At this point I wanted to tell this cashier, in English, just where he and the horse he rode in on, could speak their different languages, but I was nice. I just smiled and nodded as he kept on talking about his grandfather who spoke fluent Spanish and about how he's reading Harry Potter in Spanish. It was fascinating, really..., but I wanted to leave. He kept on talking as he handed me the receipt, and I even had to stand there a second as I'm wheeling the cart away so that he can finish telling me about Harry Potter. I finally just said, "You know, you should read Harry Potter in Latin!" Thinking maybe I had finally gotten to a language he DIDN'T know and stop the conversation, but he replied, "Nah, I've had some bad expirences with Latin," (and what that could mean, I have no idea) and besides, all the Latins are dead now!" At that point, he realized what he said, and I walked away while he was trying to explain himself. There are times I wish my mother had not raised me to be so polite to strangers. Maybe I could have thrown a nectarine at him and gotten away sooner.

Saturday night I went to Josh's house for dinner. We watched "Hairspray", we walked through his neighborhood, and we talked about interior design. A good time was had by all. ;)

Sunday was church, of course, with lunch with my family. Papa has bought some goats and one of them had just had a baby. We went down to see it and it was so sweet! It was about the size of a house cat and it was really tame. We petted it and talked to it. A regular petting zoo! Then it was back to church at night and dinner with Grandma and Mr. Lee afterwards.

That is about it!

Kelly will have to write:

I will not be charged with conspiracy to overthrow the monarchy again

'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Who knew my office was the site of such broad physical comedy?

The other day I was asked to laminate a couple of signs. I hate laminating because A) I suck at it B) we don't have a machine and C) it almost always looks bad no matter how careful I am with it. This particular assignment sucked more than usual because the signs were huge. I don't know if you've ever had to wrestle with contact paper or not, but you probably know that even if you're really careful, it stretches, bubbles and wrinkles like crazy. The signs I made were roughly 36" x 46" or so and trying to control a piece of contact paper that big is completely impossible. I had already had to print another sign to replace one I had ruined, so my sense of humor about the job had already departed.

So I got the new sign off of the printer, stuck it to the backing board and proceeded to apply the contact paper. It went beautifully for about one foot. Then I realized I'm going to have to climb up on top of the drafting table with the sign and stretch the laminate very carefully over the paper so that I could smooth it out. After I make sure no one was coming, I climbed up and ended up kneeling on top of the sign its self. As I backed away, holding the edges of the stuff, I realize I'm running out of table. Not wanting to fall, I turned my head to see how much more room I had and I realize that the contact paper is wrinkling, so I straighten up and pull the paper up again to fix it. As I raise the contact paper, I look down to make sure everything is in the right spot and my head bumps the contact paper which firmly sticks to my hair. So I'm kneeling on the table with a giant sheet of adhesive paper stuck to my head. Nooooooooo problem. I pulled backwards to get my hair free (ouch, by the way) and when I did, the motion caused my badge to swing up and stick to the paper. At this point I just started cursing. I'm not going to lie. I was still stuck to the stupid sign. I couldn't let go of the contact paper and there was no one to help me! So I pulled back to get my badge loose and the beaded lanyard I was wearing shattered. Beads go everwhere. I gave up. I just dropped the laminate and started smoothing it down, lumps, bumps and all. Oh, and my badge was still stuck to it. So I got down to the edge and had to figure out how to get my badge out from under the plastic without ripping anything. With that accomplished, I tried to finish laminating, but then I realized there were BEADS all underneath the plastic! Curse again! So I had to go back and carefully cut the beads out from under the plastic. If they hadn't needed those signs so quickly, I would have probably burnt it with glee. : )

ED IS THE DEVIL

Power Rangers creep me out. I've tried to like it, or to at least understand it, but to no avail. I was once scared pretty badly by a guy wearing a Red Ranger suit (he really just popped out of no-where) and since then I have kept my distance. My newest co-worker, Ed, who is a fan of such things as well as an afficianado on all things in Japanese culture, is determined to introduce me to many things that I would otherwise have no clue existed. One of these things is "MagiRangers" which is apparently what the American Mighty Morphing Power Rangers is adapted from. Never heard of them? Neither had I.

Imagine MMPRs with magic cell phones and slightly different costumes. You wouldn't think that was so bad, right? Well, I don't know about the MagiRangers themselves, but the theme song has now been imbedded into my brain for all time. He sent me the MP3 and now I can't quit thinking of it! Normally if I can just sing the song out loud a couple of times, I'm okay and the song leaves. However, I don't know Japanese, so I can't sing this song! All I can do is hum the freakishly catchy tune! The last time I had a song I didn't know stuck in my head, it was there for three months. That isn't an exaggeration. THREE MONTHS! I finally had to buy the Commedores Greatest Hits and listen to it until I learned the song.

Here is the song on YouTube.com. It's apparently a dance instruction video for kids to learn the official MagiRangers dance. I defy you to not get this song stuck in your brain!

In other news...darn you Nicholas Sparks! Steve and I watched "The Notebook" last night and I spent the last 20 minutes or so just boo-hooing. It even upset the dogs! I had never seen the movie and I had heard it was sad, but geez. Rips your heart out. I've read some of his books, but I had to stop because they made me want to kill myself. He's a good author with a great style, but so depressing. If he ever writes an up-beat book, someone tell me.

What STar Trek Character am I most like?

Your results:
You are Uhura

Uhura 80% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 75% Chekov 70% Deanna Troi 60% Geordi LaForge 45% Jean-Luc Picard 40% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 40% Worf 35% Spock 30% Data 30% Beverly Crusher 30% Mr. Scott 30% Will Riker 25% Mr. Sulu 20% James T. Kirk (Captain) 15%

You are a good communicator with a pleasant soft-spoken voice. Also a talented singer.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

My husband is weird. People don't believe me when I say that, but it's completely true. You meet him and you see a tall, quiet man who rarely smiles or talks and you think - Hmmmmm...normal.

Not so much.

Last night we had made plans to see the movie "Superman Returns" with some friends of ours. Steve has always loved Superman movies, I already knew that. However, I wasn't quite prepared for what he did before we left for the theater. I was in the kitchen getting something out of my purse when he walked in and said "I'm ready!" As I turned around to say something to him I stopped with the words drying up on my lips. There was my husband...my quiet, staid, and solid husband...standing there in a blue t-shirt with the "S" emblem on the front, a pair of dark blue jeans, and a pair of red Fruit-of-the-Loom briefs pulled up over his pants. He them proceeded to pretend to fly around the kitchen. Why do I NEVER have my camera when he's being weird?! After I stopped laughing, I begged him to let me take a picture, but (and probably wise for him) he refused. Unfortunately, the red breifs came off before I could reach my camera and so now you'll just have to take my word for it.

Now I know how Big Bird felt when no one would believe him about Snuffulupagus.

Anways...about the movie!

Superman Returns was a really good movie. I enjoyed it a great deal! Perhaps it was a bit long, but I think it had to be so that younger viewers could be caught up on all the particulars before the real action began. I did have one problem with the movie, though, and it was that there was a lot of little things from the first movie that were recycled into this one. I mean, not so much that this movie couldn't stand alone, but it started to look less like an homage to the original and more like "Oops, I don't know what to put here. Let's me ironic and use a few lines that already exist so that the movie doesn't lag." However, all in all it was a great way to spend a couple of mindless hours. I do have a little advice for the characters, though (If only they'd listen to me...)

Lois...honey. Bless your heart. I know that you're a busy career journalist and all, but for the love of everything good and holy...CLARK HAS THE SAME FACE AS SUPERMAN! He's the same height as Superman! The only differences between them are the glasses! Glasses don't make that much of a difference. That will never cease to annoy me!

Superman: You were gone for 5 years. Five Years. You didn't even say goodbye. Did you think she was just going to wait by the window? I mean, jeez. I didn't realize the man of steel had the ego of steel to match. Let me give you a little advice about women, Clar...I mean Superman. The key to not having your girlfriend decide they hate you when you go away is "closure". You say goodbye, maybe a little kiss on the cheek...then she's left with lovely memories and very little cause for anger. Also, why would you want a woman who only likes you when you are not wearing glasses? Your alter ego seems sweet enough. All kinds of nice girls would be thrilled to date you, and hey, you wouldn't have to wear the tights on all of your dates.

Lex: Why take over the world? That is one thing about villians that has never made sense to me. World-wide domination is not only a difficult thing to accomplish, but silly. The people of the world can't agree on religion, government, or soccer teams, what makes you think you can just waltz in a become someone the whole world will agree to? You don't have enough henchmen to deal with the fallout of that decision, my friend. Why not just find a small country and rule that one? You can still be powerful, sweetheart, you're just going to have to do it on a smaller scale.

My final decision? One thumb up and one thumb raised, but not extended. : )

Okay, so you know I've been sewing lately, right? Well, I was doing so well! I cut everything out just right, I was following directions (which I rarely do) and my shirt was coming along so well! I was doing one of the last steps in the pattern, and I pulled the shirt off of the machine to look at it, and lo and behold, I sewed the bottom half on inside out! BLAST! I used the machine's tiniest stitches so that it wouldn't pull apart, and now I can't pull the stitches out!

Arrrgh! I am fairly certain that if it were up to me to make clothes for my family, we'd all get arrested for public indecency.

Now all of the money I used on material has been wasted. However, fear not! I pulled down a curtain that I didn't like and I'm using it to start all over! :) i a, determined!

Wow. I can't believe this website exists! Fans of Grease 2 Unite!

This is an early posted WEEKEND UPDATE!

I am currently at home and decided that I could go ahead and do my weekend update! I'll explain why in a second.

Friday was a lot of fun! After work, Steve and I met with our buddies (Shannon, Greg, Josh & Anthony) and we all had dinner together. It's been a long time since we had all gotten together and I don't think I have laughed that much an weeks. We had dinner at Chili's (which I'm not terribly fond of because it seems to me that they don't have appropriate table and chair room for grown up people. It's like everyone needs to be tiny if you want to eat more than two to a table...and the food isn't spectaular. But as the saying goes, better a supper of herbs with friends than a stalled ox alone.) Wow, that was a long parenthetical statement. Anywho... afterwards we went to Barnes & Noble to kill some time. I love going to bookstores. There is something exciting about being around so many books. There is the promise of so many adventures and ideas around you while you're there. You just have to reach out and grab them! I bought a journal, a bottle of ink (for my fountain pen) and a book called "Well, Duh" which is a book of funny and weird facts about humanity through the ages. Probably not the most intellectual of books, but it's been good for a few laughs this weekend. When we left the bookstore, we went to Coldstone! I love ice cream. I think I've said that a few times on here before! Steve doesn't like it because of it's texture, but I still make him go with me sometimes. I don't like to eat ice cream alone! After that it was still early, but we all went home because some of them had to work at the IMAX the next day.

Saturday I woke up and started writing in my new journal. I hope that no one reads it while I'm still alive. It would be embarrasing. I have realized very recently that people don't like me as much when they find out I have more than one emotion. I scare people when I cry or am sad! Not a scared scared, but a "Dear God, she's a real person" kind of scare. THey just tell me to get over it...but that's okay. I'll just be sad in my book and not bother them with problmes. I'd rather have my friends be my friends than have them avoid me! They don't get around me again until they think I am not going to do anything but laugh. Marcia Brady, that's me! Anyways, I used me fountain pen, but I've realized that fountain pens are not fun to write with if you have a lot to say. I'll just save it for signing wedding and baby cards and drawing. My ink is Bleu Nacre which I think means pearly blue in French. Josh said so and he should know because he knows French! Yay! Anyways, I was going to go to the Botanical Gardens and take pictures, but I had too much to do at home. Our house is gross and I've gotten overwhelmed at the prospect of actually cleaning it. We have too much stuff! There is no place to put it all. I think I'm just going to have to burn the house down and start all over! Anyways, for hours and hours I did laundry and cleaned dishes and stuff. I am going to have to shave the dogs so that they quit shedding on my floor. They would be embarrassed though. Cleatus and Kay Bob would laugh at them. :) Steve had planned on ggoing to see a concert at UAH with Anthony and I still wasn't done cleaning, so I stayed home and did that. I did something really stupid when taking a break, though. I super glued my hand to my foot. I was trying to put on fake nails and somehow I glued my hand to my foot. I had to use manacure scissors and nail polish remover to get loose. Go ahead, you can laugh at me if you want to. It was a stupid thing to do. :) I had almost forgotten that we were having a pot luck thing at church for the World Changers after morning service, so I also had to bake cupcakes and cut up fruit to take.

Sunday, which is today, I got to church and started getting the stuff ready for the pot luck lunch. People brought all kinds of food, because Baptists llove to eat! We had so much food and all kinds of people were there. I really like working in the kitchen at church. I really miss Rhonda being there with us because she always made us laugh. She was on the kitchen committee too. This is the first time I've been back at a cooking thing since she died. It was kind of hard, but it made me think of good memories, so it was fine. When I got home, my feet were hurting so bad from running around this morning, so I lay down with my new book and then fell asleep. I kept having strange dreams. I woke up a little later with a headace. I kept thinking that it would go away, but it just got worse. It was soon one of thoise migraines that make me get sick to my stomach and I couldn't do anything to make it stop. I took some excedrine, but it didn't help. It got so bad that I started to cry, which has never happened before! I finally made the executive decision to take half of one of the pain pills that we had that used to be Miss Rhondas. I borrowed a pill bottle from Mr. Lee and it still had a couple of big blue pills in them. They always helped her back, so I figured that they would help my head. I took half and an hour later my head still had little sparks of pain over my eye and I still felt kind of sick, so I took the other half. Now my headache is gone, but I'm on the verge of being completely whacked out of my head. I feel like I'm sitting in someone elses body controlling the hands by remote control. Now I understand why she got into an elevator when we were in California and said "WHEE!" whenever we went down a floor! I don't think I'd want to feel like this every day, thoiuogh. I can't understand why people would want to take these pills for funzzies. Anyways, that's why I'm home instead of at church tonight. I kind of figured that I'd make an ass of myself if I were to go out after taking this medicine. I think I have lost the ability to have an inner monolouge, and since we aren't a charasmatic Baptist church, they probably wouldn't appreciate my comments!

Well, that's about it. I've had to go back and respell a lot of words becuse my hands aren't working that well. I think a certain friend of mine would get a kick out of this entry, but I don't know if he reads this blog anymore. Oh well, I think I' need to go lie down for a while. Well, I don't know if I want to lie down, byt I think I might anyways. I hope everyone has a wonderfil week. I hope I do to!

My hadnds are cold! : )

Do you want to know how to most completely confuse me? Rearrange my Wal-Mart! I know it's been a while since I'd been into the University Dr. one, but good Lord. I was halfway into the store before I was really paying attention, but as soon as I did look around, it was as if I were on another planet! I stood there for a moment like I thought little purple ferrets were going to leap from the shelves and start talking to me, but I finally (sort of) got my bearings. It's like I am a lab rat and they moved my cheese!

Last night we went to see Steve's dad so that Steve could help him bring home a new matress for his guest room. We went to dinner afterwards. I'll go ahead and say, it's a really good thing I love Steve's grandma. I know she's part of another generation and her upbringing was totally different that my own, but I have never known anyone to say some of the things she does in public! We were stitting there waiting on our food when out of nowhere she says (talking about VBS) "We had a bunch of little black children come in, and they were just so polite!" She said it as if she were surprised, as if most small black children that she has encountered have had horns and made it a practice of gnawing on her ankles. I didn't know what to say! I mean, it wasn't as if she had made a blatent racist remark, since I don't think Grandma would ever do such a thing and mean it, but it was certainly uncalled for. It was even worse when I looked over to see the black gentleman in the next table looking as if he were trying to decide whether or not he was going to laugh or get upset. I just smiled and quickly joined into Steve and Mr. Lee's conversation. When in doubt, I just ignore that crazy old woman! ;) Heeheeehee

I'm getting a little bit better at sewing, but I still haven't quite got the hang of it. The pattern has step by step instructions, but since each package encompasses several different patterns, they are hard to follow because they veer off into tangents about other things you aren't working on. If my top doesn't immediately fall apart when I try it on, I'm afraid that I'm just going to end up looking homeless. Oh, well....WITH PRIDE I WILL WEAR IT!

Speaking of clothes, I am not a very good housekeeper. First off, I've lost a load of laundry. I can't find it anywhere. I am not in a habit of taking our laundry on long drives in the country to let them run around in a meadow or anything like that, so I know they have to be in the house somewhere, I just don't know where! I suppose that also tells you the state of my house. Also, I put in a load of laundry to wash last night. No biggie, just thought I'd let it wash last night and chuck it into thedryer this morning for lovely, clean, freash smelling clothes. Not so much. Apparently my attention was diverted after dumping the laundry into the washing machine and I forgot to close the lid. Just in case your curious, the washing cycle will go just until "spin" with the lid off. Then it will sit there with your clothes in a pool of sudsy, dirty water until someone shuts the lid. Sometimes, that can be hours and hours. Just FYI.

Yesterday I went to Hobby Lobby (big surprise) and I bought a pattern and some material. I am going to try another attempt to learn to sew! Of course, one of the first things I did was cut a piece of the top I'm attempting to make in half, but we are going to count that as a learning expirence!

It galls me that I have never learned to sew. I honestly never thought that I would want to. This is one of the reasons I chose FFA over FHA...sewing seemed so tragically DOMESTIC! Back when I still had dreams and goals, sewing never seemed to fit in to anything I wanted to do. :) Of course, now I realize that sewing can be a great thing when you have a great idea for a top or dress or something and can't find it anywhere, or the thing you want is clearly only made up to the size to fit a drinking straw. Ergo, I am attempting again to learn to sew. So far, I'm not so good at it. How can it be so different from anything else I've ever learned to do? I can draw, paint, sculpt, build, cook (fires nonwithstanding), and any number of other crafty things, why can't I figure out how to do this too? Oy. Well, I'm working on it and I've decided that whatever this top comes out looking like, I'm going to wear it proudly! Proudly, I say! Well, maybe not in public but the dogs and Steve will definately see it!

GO ME! *spirit fingers*

Jack of all trades and master of none...

You know, I joke about running away to the Florida Keys (well, sometimes it's a joke! heeheehee).

Anyways, out of curiosity I was looking at job listings in the lower keys, because even in my imagination I don't want to be jobless and homeless. There is actually a graphic design job open down there that I'm qualified for! Excellent! :) There is actually a lot of different jobs available down there. I don't know why this surprises me. I guess I just imagined that everyone played on the beach all day. Silly Kelly!

Oh yeah, one more thing. My nephew, Logan, told me a joke Sunday that had me rolling. I'm not sure if it's actually funny or if it was just funny coming from him. It's a blonde joke, so to all of my blonde friends out there...forgive me. I already know you're smarter than I am anyways! :)

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape from prison and were running from the police. The escapees ended up running to a farm and they all climbed into holding bins in a potato shed. The cops burst in and looked around. They saw three of the bins shaking around a bit. They went to the bin here the brunette was hiding and they kicked it. The brunette said "Meow!" and the cop said "Eh, it's just a cat." They went to the bin where the redhead had hidden and kicked it. The redhead said "Woof" and the cop said "Eh, it's just a dog." They then moved to the bin where the blonde was hiding and kicked it. The blonde said "Potato!"

Kelly tired.

Steve had nightmares all night that made him jump and thrash. He reminded me of Butler when he chases rabbits in his sleep. Every time he would twitch it would wake me up and I'd have to shake him to get him to be still. Amazingly enough, he stayed asleep. I can only imagine what dark secrets lie within his huge head ; ). I finally just got up at around 4:45 or so because it wasn't doing me any good to try to go back to sleep. On the plus side, I was on time for work! Go me!

Today is Mr. Lee's birthday and we will be going to his house for dinner tonight. Grandma made all of his favorites. That totally reminds me that I forgot to wrap his gifts. Oy.

Went to the gym last night. I was going to do the whole workout, but someone took my sheet and I didn't feel like bothering about asking for it. I just stayed on the treadmill while I was there. I've actually found something that helps me get through the gym. They are called "Sports Beans". I'm guessing that you get a massive sugar rush and it gives you the energy to keep going. I probably didn't do enough to work off the calories in one pack. Oh well. This weird guy kept looking at me while I was walking. It wasn't a flattering "How you doin'" kind of stare, either. It was more of a "It puts the lotion in the basket" kind of look. I didn't stick around for long after I was done there.

I think I've found a way to keep the anxiety attacks away! I have heard about people doing this for other things, but I've been wearing a rubber band around my wrist since Saturday. When I start thinking about things that bother me, I snap the rubber band. It's not a plesant thing and I've pretty much got bruises on my wrist, but it's helping a little bit. Of course, what is going to get me over my fear of rubber bands? :)


I'm going to try and go back to the gym today. I don't really want to, but I realized over the weekend how badly I need to do it. I decided to do some of the yoga I learned when I took that class in school, and while I was doing it, I thought to myself that I was awesome because my upper body was so much stronger! Two days later I could barely move my arms. I am not as awesome as I thought! : ) I miss my yoga class. I wish there was one that I could go to at the gym. I think that I would enjoy that better than weight training.

LEONARD BERNSTEIN!!!

Yes, that's the only words I can understand in the REM song, and I yell them out with passion when I hear the song! : )

WEEKEND UPDATE

Without our normal cast of characters - everyone doing their own thing for once - , it was hard to know what to do on friday night. Steve had come home from work and mowed the back yard (much to the relief of the dogs, who were beginning to have to carry small machetes with them on a regular basis) and when he was done we decided to go see a movie. We picked the Jennifer Anniston movie "The Break Up". When we got to the theater, they had a bunch of those souped up Fast & Furious type cars in the parking lot since the new sequal to that movie was opening that night. I had no idea we had so many locals with garishly painted cars with neon underneath them. Steve and I had some time before the movie started to look around at them. I liked the paint jobs on a lot of them, but quite honestly, it seems like a huge waste of money to do this kind of stuff to a perfectly normal car. Oh well, it wasn't my money... : ) Anyways, there was one particular car there that had some part of it's stereo mounted in it's trunk in a way that made it look as if it were suspended in mid-air. I bent down to look at how it was attached, and the stupid car jumped up at me. It was on hydrolics apparently. I screamed and jumped about 25 feet in the air. Steve got a good laugh out of it. I'm not so country that I had never seen a car lift like that before, but I can sure as heck admit I wasn't expecting it to lift while my head was in the trunk! Anways, the movie was pretty good. It was like watching a movie about me and Steve, only the ending sucked. If you plan on watching it, stop reading this paragraph. *After making you want them to get back together, they never do. I haven't hated the ending of a movie so much since "Summersby." Anyways, that was our friday.

Saturday we had planned to get up and begin going through the house to get rid of some clutter. I woke up early and made muffins. Steve stayed asleep. I cleaned out the fridge, ate breakfast and started cleaning up the kitchen. Steve's company picnic was that day and I kept thinking it was going to be at noon, so I didn't bother to wake Steve up until 10:30. It turned out that the picnic started at 11:00! Oops. Well, we got ready and went out to the Huntsville Botanical Gardens where the picnic was being held. They were going to have a "scavenger hunt" where you answered qestions, with prizes, so you know I was going to participate. We had to follow the trail around the gardens to answer the questions. I had never gotten to see the flowers in the gardens, and they were beautiful. We didn't stick around for very long in any place because we were supposed to get our sheets turned in by a specific time, but I planned on walking the route again afterwards to take pictures. Steve and I actually won a prize! It was a gift card to Target, so three guesses as to whom will actually get to spend it! : ) After that was all done, Steve was too tired to go back through the gardens again, so no pictures for me :(. I plan on going back alone maybe next week to see it again. After we left the park, Steve went to get his head shaved (very cute!) and we went home and watched old Dr. Who episodes. It was stimulating both mentally and emotionally. /sarcasm. ;)

Sunday we went to church in the morning and I had a "Laugh In Church" moment that almost made me pass out. I was sitting in the sanctuary waiting for the service to start, when out of the corner of my eye I see what I think is a bird attacking this elderly gentleman who was sitting a few rows up. My actual thought was "Huh, there is a bird on that man's head. It's a very quiet bird." Strangely dispassionate about what was going on, I turned my head to watch this bird land on the man's head and I realized that it wasn't a bird at all. The man was wearing suspenders that had somehow snapped off of his pants and had sprung up over his head. What I took to be the wings of the bird were actually the straps of his suspenders flying over his head. All of this happened so fast. I don't know what made me laugh first, the sight of that mans suspenders jumping up over his head or me thinking a bird wasin the church dive bombing the parishoners! At any rate, it was after the song service before I got back in control of myself. After church, Steve and I went our seperate ways: he with his dad and me out to Athens to see my dad. I couldn't think of anything at all to get my father for Father's Day, so I had gotten him a gag gift of a bag full of toothbrushes, toothpaste and other dental care implements. He had just gotten his teeth veneered, so I went with that. At least he thought it was funny! After I left there, I went back to church and out to eat with Steve and some people from our church.

That was pretty much my weekend! Try not to have a stroke from the excitement of it all. : )

Look how cute I am as a tiny, animated person! : ) Okay, so it's not a completely faithful and accurate interpretation of me, but then again, I'm like 5 times taller. Heeheehee.

Congratulations to Christy and Matt! They just found out they are going to have a baby! She wants kids badly, so I'm glad this worked out for them! : )

I've been working on giant magnets for our busses today. They are advertising a day camp that is apparently going on. They are huge and the magnetic material is dulling my Exacto knives like crazy! I do not love these magnets. :P

Yesterday, Ed sent me a link to poeTV and it has some really funny video clips on it. If I may recommend one, "Skeleton Biker chases Mexicans." I don't know exactly where the video came from (it's all is Spanish), but it's priceless. Also, I recommend "Cats Being Awesome." I'm a dog person normally, but I love to watch cats spaz out!

Sometimes I feel like I might actually go crazy. I mean, I'm not on the verge of standing on the roof with an AK-47 or anything like that, but for as long as I can remember, I have always been bad about letting something little bother me. It's not stuff that is important in the whole scheme of things really, just little stuff that I couldn't possibly control even if I wanted to. I equate it with that niggling feeling you might get if you "think" you might have left the stove on when you are on vacation. You are 2,000 miles away, there is nothing you can do about it, but it still hangs onto the back of your mind and won't let go until you get home and find out that you don't even use your stove, so of course it wouldn't be on. Multiply that by 100 and have it follow you around all of the time and that is how I am. It's not even like an obsessive-compulsive thing that would go away if I turned on and off the lights 11 times every time I came into a room! It's aways about people I'm worried about or things that I think might happen, definately things I can't do anything about! It's really getting old! I'm tired of worrying!

I had to take medicine for a while for an anxiety disorder when I was 18, but I haven't had that problem in so long. I wonder if it's coming back? I hope not. That medicine made me sick as a dog!

Oh well.

Last night Josh, Shannon, Greg, Steve and I went to see the movie Cars. It was so good! I hadn't really thought much about going to see it, but I read an artical about it by a critic who usually shreds movies like this into little pieces and he liked it, so I thought I'd give it a chance.

I'll be the first one to tell you, I don't like racing. *GASP!* Yes. I get no enjoyment out of watching cars drive in a large oval for hours on end. If I were to ever go to a race, I'd have more fun people-watching than anything else. Sorry! But something about this movie just tickled me to death. One scene I particularly liked was set after the first big race when Lightning was in his sponsor's tent. He was just about to give his obligitory speech about the sponsor's product and everything was quiet and somewhere in the distance someone yelled "Free Bird!" I don't know how many people got that, but all of us cracked up. There's one in every crowd, as the saying goes.

I have to say, Mater was my favorite character. He reminds me of people I went to school with! :) My next favorite (well, two that tied) were Luigi and Guido, the Italian tire dealers. I love Tony Shaloub and whomever that guy was who voiced Luigi will now have me saying "peet stop?" every time we get gas for Lois. I highly recommend this movie if you would like to have a nice, fun time at the movies and aren't looking for anything too deep and involved. Two thumbs up, a fine family film! : )

From a designer's angle, I was truly amazed at the skill in which this movie was created. Granted, if you're working for Pixar, you would have to be talented, but the textures and reflections were amazing. I don't mean to geek out about it, but it made me want to run away and learn the ways of the force with the Pixar crew! That's all I'm going to say about that, but if I disappear one day and if anyone cares to look for me...try there first! :)

Well, it's time for me to be as productive as I plan to be today.

SIGH. I MISS MY SOCKS.

I don't know if I ever mentioned it but I destroyed the greatest pair of socks in the world by walking outside on Josh's patio in them. I can only assume that I snagged them on the door frame or something, but I ripped out the entire bottom of one of them. They were awesome! They were knee high with multicolored stripes and individual toes. I'd wear them to work and just take off my shoes so I could look at my toes (which were each a different color). Those socks made me happy!

No, I'm not on crack. I just happened to see some on the internet and my longing for the lost socks returned. :( Oh well. I am in the process of trying to find some exact replicas if I can. I"ll keep you posted. I'm sure you will want updates! : )

Shhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone, but I'm wearing one of my nightgowns at work today!

Well, technically it's really a dress. A comfortable,stretchy,flowery dress. Steve hates it and told me I looked like someone from Mamma's Family when I wore it, so out of shame it was demoted to a comfortable, stretchy, flowery nightgown. Today, however, I was having one of those days where I couldn't find anything to wear that seemed comfortable or that looked right. You know what I'm talking about, right? So in complete and utter desperation I reached into the clothes holding thingie (don't know how to spell armoire unless that is the way) and threw caution to the wind! I'm comfortable, of course, but I kind of feel like I've shown up to work in just my slip.

Oh well. I'll stick close to the office as long as possible. : )

I just got into work from a dental appointment I had this morning. I haven't acctually been to the dentist since 2004. It isn't because I was avoiding it, really, but the last appointment I had got cancelled and I just never got the chance to reschedule. I wish I hadn't waited so long to go Because I truly hate going to the dentist when they have to clean for a long time. I hate anything where someone is hanging over me and messing with my face. Steve had gone for his cleaning last time and just couldn't say enough good stuff about the new dental assistant. He told me she didn't hurt him and was just as friendly as can be! Well, she was friendly all right, but he LIED about the not hurting part. Granted, it may have hurt so much because I'm not the most consistant flosser or something like that, but I'm pretty sure she used that pointy metal thing to jab directly into my brain stem! I'm not kidding you, I felt as if she must have been having a bad day or something. Just when I thought she was done, she grabbed a length of dental floss and just attacked my teeth with it. It hurt so badly, that in the nonsensical way your brain jabbers when you are in pain or scared, I actually came to a point where I almost yelled out "I'M SORRY! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR HUSBAND, I SWEAR!" I would have even admitted to the Kennedy assasination had she not picked that time to stop flossing. Geez, I felt like I tried to eat a hill of fire ants. Then of course, they started really pushing the ZOOM! teeth whitening thing that they do. I'm not adverse to having my teeth whitened, but good grief, you'd think my teeth looked like indian corn or something the way they were selling it to me. I told them I'd talk to Steve about it. They didn't seem too excited about having to wait. It's possible that the sight of anything other than literally pearly white teeth offends them to no end...who knows? I'm just glad that I don't have to go back (barring any dental incidents, of course) until December.

and now it's time for my WEEKEND UPDATE!

Actually, this will encompass a little more than my weekend because I want to talk about the week I was alone while Steve was traveling. I have never spend more than just a couple of nights alone in my life. I never had the pleasure of living on my own, so a whole week of having any place to myself was a new expirence. Even though I knew I would miss Steve, I was a little excited! However, I found out in the course of the week that I am the single lamest person that God ever created. I'm not saying being alone was horrible (I mean, I got lonely as time went on and everything,of course) but I didn't do one truly interesting thing the whole time. I would come home, eat dinner and listen to the TV while I crocheted. If I wasn't doing that, I was on my computer playing games. Oh, every once in a while I would go to Target or clean and on Thursday I had dinner with my mom, but other than that I was just a homebody. I even enjoyed not having to do stuff some of the time! However, I wanted to do something interesting and I just couldn't think of anything. Oh well, I suppose not everyone has a very exciting life. :)

One night before I fell asleep, I was thinking about all of my friends who are on, who are going, or who just got back from vacations. Belize (I had no idea where that was until Friday!), Jamaica, and etc. I have friends beach hopping all around me, and I was envious! So I decided that since I couldn't actually be at the beach, I'd do the next best thing! I popped in one of those ambient sound CDs that is the sound of waves crashing on the beach and left it on when I went to sleep. I figured that maybe I could dream of being there if nothing else. To my knowledge, I didn't dream about being at the beach, but when I woke up that next morning the CD scared me to death! As I've mentioned, I usually have a breif stop-over in crazy town between being asleep and waking up fully. That morning I woke up to the sound of water. I thought to myself, "Oh, Steve's in the shower already...WAIT! STEVE'S NOT EVEN HERE! WHO IS IN THE SHOWER?!" In my muddled state, it made perfect sense for someone to have broken into the house, made their way to the master bathroom and jumped into the shower. I swear, I don't know how long I lay there trying to gather up the courage to call the police before I fully woke up and realized what the sound actually was. :( Needless to say I didn't leave that sound on after that!

FRIDAY rolled around and when I woke up, I felt horribly blah. I hardly had the energy to roll out of bed, and the thought of moving from that spot was more than I could handle. I also felt like my skin was on fire because it itched so bad and when I looked into a mirror, my face was covered with some kind of weird rash. I could only surmise that I was having some kind of allergic reaction to something, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was. I called into work and spent the day trying to figure out what happened to me. I finally narrowed it down to two things: 1)Cherries. I have been eating an unusual amount of fresh cherries every day. I love them! I can only hope that I'm not allergic to them because I would miss the horribly! 2) One night when I was being such a party animal, I vacuumed the floor and when I tried to empty the container I realized that the vacuum was clogged with dog hair. I had to reach in and unclog it and immediately my hand started to burn and itch. I washed my hands a couple of times after that, of course, and the itching went away after a while. Either way, I wasn't in the best state of affairs! Well, this went on Saturday and Sunday as well. I didn't feel well, I itched, and my face still looks like I just hit puberty for a second time! I only left the house a couple of times to get some stuff I needed, but the rest of the time I just sat on the couch! I felt like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, cabin fever was setting in! By Sunday night I was feeling much better even if the rash wasn't gone. Steve had called earlier to tell me when to meet him at the airport and to kill time I watched the DVD of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I had forgotten what a good movie that was. Tim Burton is weird, but I love his style. On the DVD extras, there is a dance instruction video where Deep Roy, the Oompa-Loompa, shows you how to do the steps to the dances he does in the movie, so I spent the last little bit of time before I picked Steve up learning how to dance like an Oompa-Loompa.

I did mention that I'm the lamest person alive, right? :)

Well, now Steve is home and everything, except for my face, is back the way it should be and all is pretty much right with the world.

Oy Vey, people!

I just grabbed a pack of gum and popped a piece in my mouth. Then I had to remove said piece of gum so that I could remove the paper it was wrapped in! What is wrong with me today?! I think it has something to do with my lack of directon since Steve's been gone. No one to keep me on my toes! : )

Speaking of Steve, if anyone hears from him, could you let me know if he's still alive?


I'm thinking of having an adventure in the next couple of days. The only trouble is, I have no idea what to do. I need some suggestions! My only criteria is that it can't be dangerous and I have to be home in time to feed the puppies. : ) Help!

MORE TO COME...

UPDATE:

I talked to Steve last night. The credit card company made a mistake and there were no fraudulent charges made on Steve's card. His hotel has a corporate office or something in New York, so when the charge was made it was logged there instead of St. Louis which threw up a red flag. At any rate, they've unfrozen his card and everything is fine. :)


RANDOM LINKAGE:

*I spilled another smoothie on myself this morning! Well, at least my steering wheel will be protected by antioxidents! Try Naked Juice for all of your smoothie needs.

* I forgot to add a link to Kenny's website the last time I mentioned him. I have been harshly and fully repremanded and promise never to forget to do it again! :) Just kidding...I just forgot.

Oh yeah! I forgot to add Steve's misfortune!

Steve had decided to take an empty credit card on TDY with him because the advance he requested from work didn't get pushed through in time. Who knows why, but that credit card was his only reasonable option. Anyways, back at home, I got a call from an automated service requesting information about a "questionable charge" that was added to that card. Since he had held both the car and his hotel room on that card, I didn't worry about it, thinking that was what they were talking about. I just sent him an e-mail message saying that we had gotten the call and that he might have trouble with his card or be questioned about it when he tried using it.

He called a little later to ask what I was talking about, but he wasn't worried about anything either since he knew that Discover card has that protection program for users of the card, and knew he hadn't made any strange purchases that day. About an hour later he called back and was furious. His card had been declined at the resturaunt and he had to use his check card, which takes money out of an account that he had used to pay bills with (so we don't know if it will overdraw or not). He also tried calling the 24 hour customer service line, which was CLOSED! We finally found a number for the automated system which he called and someone had indeed stolen the number and made a huge purchase with that card somewhere in New York! Luckily he isn't completely out to dry. He was carrying another card that we had just paid a chunk of money on, so he will be able to eat and everything. I felt so bad for him! He was already stressed out about this trip and the last thing he needed was something like that to happen. He was going to call the customer service number again today, but I haven't heard from him yet to see what happened or to see if he got it fixed.

Oh well, maybe he will end up on one of those commercials where he talks with some other person's voice. Those things just kill me!

WEEKEND UPDATE!

Hey, Everyone! I hope you all had wonderful weekends. I don't know how wonderful mine was, but it certainly wasn't dull!

FRIDAY: I left work early so that Josh and I could go to the grocery store to get the food we needed for the concert. We went a teeny bit overboard. Well, Josh blamed me for getting so much, but seriously, all I did was get what was on the list, plus a couple of things that Steve and I needed. Josh was the one that felt we needed all of the other fancy stuff that required cheese knives and everything. Blame aside, we had a LOT of food. The concert was at Burritt Museum and would be held outdoors. Unfortunately, it had been raining all day and everything was super soggy and damp once we got there. Undeterred, we spread out our blanket and had the picnic! It was actually nice and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. The Huntsville Jazz Ensamble (I think) was who played that night. They were very, very good! Jazz isn't exactly my cup of tea, but I enjoyed the music. As night fell, it got cold out there. I'm not talking a little chilly, I am talking COLD. Oh, and damp. Of course, I didn't have a jacket because I'm thinking "Hmmmm, June. Jacket? Nah." As the concert got longer, the colder it became. So Josh and I got the great idea to roll up in the comforter that we had used as a picnic blanket. It had been lying on the ground for a while by this point and had also grown cold and damp. However, we figured that as long as it blocked the wind, we'd be okay. Well, apparently this comforter was not big enough for two grown up people to wrap up in unless one was actually sitting in the lap of the other, but...ew, no thanks. So we each took an edge and rolled. We ended up looking like a package of Swiss Rolls lying there on the ground, each with just enough cover to wrap almost around each of us. Unfortunately, if we moved or talked, the cover would slip. I ended up trying to tickle Josh out of the blanket, but he held his ground. I can't even imagine (and certainly don't want to) what we must've looked like to the people around us, but as soon as I remembered my age, I just jumped out of the blanket and decided to be cold.

-I always seem to forget I'm almost 30. A kid at heart, you see.

Well, we ended up leaving early, but we all had a good time!

SATURDAY: I got up Saturday with the intention of mowing the lawn and doing laundry. Steve had volunteered to help some of his friends do some work, so I was on my own to get things accomplished around the house! I started the laundry, but the more I thought about mowing the lawn, the less I wanted to! Since there was no one there to make me, I decided to go get a haircut and run to Target. It was still fairly early, so I was hoping to get to the salon (and I use that word lightly) before a crowd formed. I realize how gauche it might seem to get your haircut at Mastercuts, but hey, they're cheap and competent. What else do you really need? Anyways, so I get there with only one person a head of me! Woo-Hoo! However, there was only one person working and the dad of the little girl said something about getting her a perm! Noooooo! I stood my ground, though. I had overheard the stylist say that the other girl had stepped out and was supposed to be right back. Soon enough, the other stylist walked in. I couldn't believe it, it was my friend Jason's crackhead ex-girlfriend! Actually, her name is Amy and she's actually good at what she does, but the stories I was told about her still make me think of her as the Crackhead Ex-Girlfriend. Anyways. When she walked in, I noticed that she had a sort of "off her meds" kind of look about her. She sort of slowly walked in, put her things down, and she called my name off of the list. I could only hope she didn't remember me from right after she and Jason broke up and I was there talking to him while he avoided her. Granted, there was nothing questionable going on, but I have expirence with this sort of thing so I was a little nervous. She apparently didn't recognize me, but she still had that dazed look about her and she was talking very monotone and quietly. When I told her what I wanted her to do to my hair, she looked down at me with her empty gaze and said in a dead voice, "If this pulls or hurts, just tell me." Right then and there I was already wondering what I was going to have to do to get my hair fixed after she was done. All I could think about was that horrible hair massacre I got right after Steve and I got married. I was all but bald after that, and I didn't get my hair even trimmed for a year and a half. I suppose I could have jumped up and run out of the place, but she had already pinned my hair up and grabbed her straight razor. I just prayed that I wouldn't be scalped. She started on the back of my hair and she stayed there for a long time. I've said before, that having your hair razor cut feels weird, but she seemed to really be cutting a lot of it off! After a while, she sort of came to life and talked more. It was like a lava lamp that had been warming up for a while before it did anything. She finally moved on from the back of my head, so I unclenched my hands from around the arm rest and watched her finish up my hair. It actually looked good when she was done, so I was glad! I had a few other errands to run before I went home, so I did those and came home to have lunch. I never actually got around to cutting the lawn, but I did get quite a few loads of laundry cleaned and folded! : )

Later that evening, Steve and I had been invited to the 40th birthday party of one of his co-workers. We got out to the house where it was being held and were met at the door by someone we didn't know who told us that the lady who the party was for had just had a seziure and was lying unconcious on the kitchen floor! She told us to come on in and go out into the back yard, which we reluctantly did, and they told us what had happened and that they had called an ambulance. Wow, that was awkward! No one knew what to do and we all felt so bad for her! We watched her get loaded up into the ambulance and be driven off (she was concious and everything by this time) and we were told that the party would go on in her honor after all. Except for the guest of honor having to get an MRI and everything, I thought it was a nice party. :) I met a few more new people from Steve's work who I liked a lot. I would just go ahead and say it was fun, but it makes me feel guilty to say that! Hopefully the lady is much better and not too embarrassed by today. The official story is that she was dancing on the table and tripped on the cake, falling and knocking herself unconcious. We won't tell anyone... : )

SUNDAY: Steve was leaving on his travel in the morning, and we had to get everything ready for him to go because we had done shamelessly little to prepare. I took him to get his rental car and when we got back we still had to do all of those little extra things you never rememeber to do until it's time to go. We finally got him packed and off a bit after 11:00. I went out to my parent's house for lunch, of course, and I decided to drive out there with my top down. Well, not MY top, but the top of the car. You know what I mean. I actually got sunburned on my way over there. Not badly, but enough to notice. I was even wearing a sleeveless top, so I'm sort of getting the farmer's tan I aquired while working on the blackbird evened out. Of course, that skin on my upper arms and shoulders hasn't seen the sunlight for a loooooooooog time, so I could probably get sunburned standing too near a lamp! Yes, I've actually given up the fight against hiding the infamous arm flap. It's just too hot to be that vain, and besides, who really looks anymore?! So I purchased two tops that have no sleeves and I wear them in public. Now, if I can just get over the not-ever-showing-my-legs thing and wear shorts or go swimming in an actual bathing suit, I might not pass for a partial albino anymore!

When I got home that afternoon, it had started to rain. I got the dogs in and sat back to enjoy the quiet that comes with a gentle summer storm and I promptly fell asleep. I don't know how long I actually slept, but by the time I woke up evening had fallen. I decided to practice a new kind of crochet stitch I hope to learn (I am SO LAME, folks) and I did that while I watched TV. At some point I decided that I would make another Gooey Butter Cake for my own consumption. I know, I know, but now that I know I can make something that A) has yet to catch on fire and B) tastes good, I'm going to go with it! I decided that I would really make it chocolate this time, so I used chocolate cake mix, covered the crust with chocolate chips, added 4 squares of melted baking chocolate to the mix and a tablespoon of Godiva liquor into the filling. When it was done and I tried it...words can barely describe it. It was so good, I wept! WEPT! Tears of disbelief and joy, people! I fully believe that if Jesus had ever made brownies, they would have tasted like this cake! Paula Dean is now right up there with Martha Stewart in my book. Well, maybe not RIGHT there with Martha...but pretty darn close. : )

At any rate, there was my weekend. Hope you had a great one!

I am a sucker for personality quizzes. I think it's because Ilike to see how accurate they can be for me since I don't tend to fit into one particular category very neatly. Through a link I found on a friend's blog, I took one called the Jung Typology Test Honestly, I don't have a clue what that means, but I found out that it conciders me to be "ISFP" which apparently means "Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving." You can read all about what that means here. I'd try to explain it, but I don't have a clue what it means!

If you do take the time to read it, could you please tell me if it describes me? I'd appreciate it! ; )

Greetings!

Not a whole lot going on at this point, but nonetheless, I am going to post something. It's just my way.

Yesterday we had a farewell lunch for my former boss, David. I'd all but given up on ever making anything to eat and bringing it to work again. However, I decided to work the mojo of the gooey butter cake and see how that went. I also figured that if no one would eat it, at least that just meant more for me! So I made one, half regular and half chocolate (both Godiva and Ghiradelli were used thankyouverymuch). Everyone loved it. It was snarfed within an inch of it's life! I was even asked for the recipe! There were only four tiny little end pieces left, and I left those for one of my co-worker's kids, who were visiting the museum for the day. I was glad. So THERE! Mwahahahahahaa! With the Gooey Butter Cake, I will take over the world!

I've finally started going back to the gym. I have been too scared to actually change at the gym, due to Lauren's stories, so I changed here in my office before I leave. I used to feel comfortable doing that, but now I have to cram myself into a corner with my back against the door so that no one unlocks my door and walks in on me. Apparently I can't have access to anyone's office unless security opens the door, but everyone else has a key to my office! Also, I haven't felt too confident about my privacy since the IT guy walked across the roof and pounded on my access door without me even knowing he was out there! Trust me, I don't intend to have anyone I work with see me in my underwear if I can help it. Yuck! ANYWAYS. Apparently the New Year's Resolution crowd has thinned out a bit, so trying to find equipment isn't as hard as it used to be. Well, I take that back. It can still be hard when you have folks working out WELL above their fitness levels. Last week, I was waiting to use a machine when this older guy, who is panting and all red, walks up and cuts me off. If he could talk, I'm sure he would have told me that he was using the machine, but he was so out of breath that all he could do was gesture to the thing and hold up two fingers. I gathered that to mean he still had two sets to go. So I went on to other things, thinking that I could possibly go back there later. I finally finished everything else, and that guy was still using that machine. I watched him, and it was obvious that he was lifting way too much weight! He was jerking the handles up and making this horrible grunting sound, and I'm pretty sure he was within an inch of an explosive anal prolapse. I'm thinking that if it takes you half an hour to do three sets of weights, you are probably overdoing it, there, grandpa! Also, there was the cheering lady on the treadmill. I don't know if she realized it because she was wearing earphones, but when she was cheering herself on, she was loud! I mean, she was running and yelling to herself "COME ON!" "DO IT!" I suppose I should admire her self cheering, but quite frankly I was embarrased for her. Maybe I should have started running and shouting "HI-HO SILVER!" or "WITH THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL I CAN GO TO LEVEL 5" or something like that. However, I try to stay as low key and under the radar as possible at the gym. Don't want to call attention to my unathleticness. Last night when I went, I was doing fine up until the last 20 minutes, which are set aside for cardio work (according to my form, anyways). I knew I was tired, but I normally am after doing weights, so I didn't think anything of jumping on something called an ArcTrainer. I was fine for about 5 minutes, but after that I almost passed out. Literally. Everything got all swimmy and woozy and I had to try and stop the machine, which was hard because it keeps moving long after you want to stop! I managed to take myself to the bathroom and put some cold water on my face, so I didn't actually faint, but I came close. I went home, had dinner, and fell asleep by about 7:30. If it hadn't been for another near "DOG DEATH CAGE MATCH" fight in the backyard, I probably would have slept all the way through until this morning!

If you can believe it, I have been busy today! I kept getting more and more requests for stuff and I've managed to punch out most of them so far. My job tends to go in waves depending on the time of year and such. Summber is super-busy, but Christmas time is completely dead. Ask Kenny, he's seen the level of slackitude I can reach during the holiday season! Anyways, I still have three projects to finish. I kept thinking that today was friday, so I was really trucking it to finish everything, but then I was told it was only thursday. In defiance of the day having the GALL not to be Friday, I stopped working and starting writing my blog. So Nyeah!

I was supposed to go grocery shopping with Josh this evening since we are the designated snack parents for the group of us going to the concert on the mountain tomorrow night, but it looks like it's going to storm pretty badly, so we are going to wait until tomorrow afternoon to do it. Normally I don't care much for the concerts on the mountain (with the exception of the bluesy one from last year - yow that guy was awesome) because they are all kind of high falutin, but I'm going to give this one a shot. If I decide I don't like it, I will just plug my iPod in and pretend to be listening to the jazz ensamble. Yes. Listening to the jazz ensemble with white head phones sticking out of my ears. Completely not noticable.

I think I need to work on my plan.

WEEKEND UPDATE! MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EDITION

Greetings folks. This is Kelly Pratt, your Weekend Edition correspondant, coming to you live from my desk at work! Aren't you excited?

Friday night wasn't that spectacular. I say that because I have no idea what I did that night. I want to say that I came home from work and played The Sims 2, but I'm pretty sure I did other things as well. So if Steve and I spent Friday night having dinner with you or something, don't be offended. I'm sure it wasn't because you were boring or anything. It was probably because I had so much fun that my mind had to blank it out so that I don't spend the days longing for those moments to return.

Saturday was a lovely day of rest and procrastination. I know for a fact that I woke up fairly early and let the dogs out. Steve had to run to the old building that he worked in to let some moving guys in and he talked me into riding along with him. I took my crochet work with me because I had no idea how long we would have to wait for the movers. Let me just go ahead and say that it's virtually impossible to crochet while riding in a convertable with the top down. Picture about 7 yards of string whipping about you and wrapping around your head. After he let the movers in, we left to get breafast and to enjoy driving around while it was still nice enough to keep the top down. We drove to the mountain and took the senic route. I found out there is a whole other historical neighborhood up there I didn't know existed! It was so beautiful that I wanted to jump out and take pictures, but since I didn't have my camera with me, I couldn't do it. :( We spent the rest of the daytime alternating naps, playing computer games, going to Wal-Mart, and watching TV. I'm sure Steve loved it because he gets pulled in a hundred different directions by everyone on a daily basis, so he needed a rest. That evening, Steve had made plans with some friends to go see X3 or whatever the new X-Men movie is called. I had made other plans a week before, and if you read the post before this one, you can see how much fun I had!

As an addendum to that post, I am going to say that although there was a small bit of hurt and irritation involved, I thought about it and mostly I was just MAD. I kept thinking that I should have been feeling jealous (which was weird, but if you've ever anticipated feeling something because it just felt like the right time to feel that way, you know what I mean), but jealousy never even entered the picture. I was just plain mad. OK, I know it probably sounds trite for me to complain about someone not paying attention to me, but let me defend myself. I was invited to hang out with this person. It wasn't as if I showed up unannounced and expected to be the center of attention. A gentleman (which the world is far less full of than I thought) maybe would have even introduced me to these people and included me in the conversation instead of leaving me completely by myself, seeing that I was asked to be there. There is such a thing as simple, common courtesy. It was not shown to me that evening. At any rate, I'm not mad anymore. Mainly at this point I'm just amazed that a man who is older than I am STILL hasn't learned manners. Geez!

Sunday was church and lunch with my parents. I took mom and dad for a drive in the car with the top down. They really liked it, but mom's hair took the brunt of the punishment that comes with riding in the back seat! I was scheduled to sing at church that night, and I did. I sang, "I Can Only Imagine". I love that song! After church we went to dinner with Mr. Lee and afterwards went back to Wal-Mart for things we forgot to get the day before! It was a lovely day.

Monday was supposed to be another resting day, but Steve and his dad did yard work. I would love to say that I also worked hard out in the sun and heat, but it would be a lie. I stayed in the house except when I went out to go shopping. When it got too hot to work outside anymore, Mr. Lee went home and Steve and I fell asleep. That evening, we were invited to a cookout at Josh's house. I helped him cook the inside stuff (apparently all of the men in my life feel that letting me cook over actual fire is just a disaster waiting to happen) while Josh did the man cooking outside. I somehow destroyed a pot of macaroni and cheese. Don't get me wrong, I didn't burn it or anything. I followed the directions to the letter! It didn't even taste bad. However, the pasta lost it's original molecular structure and fell apart into little shreads. Weirdness. At any rate, we spent dinner talking about old times when we all first started working at the Sprocket, which is where we all met each other. After dinner I ended up bringing a sizable chunk of Josh's library home to read. I've already got three novels going at home, the book depends of which room I'm in at the time, so I have no idea when I'm going to get to the books I got from Josh. Oy.

Ahhh. Good times (shreaded) noodle salad.

This has been Kelly Pratt reporting.

In an unfortunate burst of something other than my normal, optimistic attitude (stop laughing!) - something rather like hurt or possibly irritation (haven't decided which yet) - I would like to say this one thing before I just let it roll off of me and go about my business.

After this evening I now have realized something. There is one thing that truly sucks about having close friends who are guys if you are a girl. It doesn't matter how close you are or how long you've known them, whether you are best friends or more like brother and sister. It's amazing how you can become completely and totally invisible to them once they meet a girl with whom they have even the smallest chance of sleeping with. I'm talking about I-N-V-I-S-I-B-l-E, ceasing to exist to them, Kelly who? Even more amazing than that is their complete and utter lack of realization that they are being rude and hurtful.

I don't know what makes me more mad at this point, the fact that I sat there for two hours and let myself be completely ignored so as not to seem rude, or the fact that this bothers me at all.

Some people SUCK!

The Blackbird is done. Thank goodness.

We finished the main graphics this morning, and I couldn't be more glad! After three days of climbing on that thing, the novelty wore off QUICKLY!. We worked on it yesterday morning and it was really frustrating. We came in at 7:00 and by 9:00, the plane was so hot and the air so humid that the vinyl wouldn't stick to it. It put me in a bad mood to keep having to stick and restick the stupied things down! Ack! However, all is alright with the world now. I shouldn't have to climb back on that thing for at least another year...and hopefully not even that. I found out this morning that even though the Air Force donated the plane to the Center, they will not give us any of the information on restoring it! They complain when it looks bad, but they don't want to do anything to help us fix it. Anyways, drive by the center and look at it! It looks nice! : )

Last night I had quite the adventure. I had just finished dinner when the phone rings. I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the name on caller ID, so I waited for the machine to pick up. I heard josh on the other end, sounding pitiful. So I answered and he told me that he had locked himself out of his house! His mother, who is number one on his "key" list, wasn't available to come and let him in, so I drove Lois out there and let him in! His oven was on and everything. Apparently his lock is fairly easy to turn, so when he let himself out of his kitchen to go onto the back porch, his hand brushed up against the turny thing and it locked him out. He had to wait 45 minutes before I could get over there. Thank goodness he hadn't put his food in the oven before he did that. So, no harm, no foul.

Since I was already in Madison, and it was so close to my parent's house, I drove to beat the sun so that I could show them the new car. They were duly impressed. When I left there, I drove towards Athens so that I could drive past my former FFA teacher's house. Every since I got my license, it's traditional for me to blow my horn when I go by, starting at the street before their house and not stopping until I pass the woods. I always have to christen my different cars by doing that. I'm sure he appreciates it! : ) After that I turned back towards home. When I stopped to get gas, I pulled the top up, but apparently I didn't get one side hooked down. When I drove off, I heard air coming in, and the top started filling with air and lifting up! I had to grab it and stop on the side of the road to fix it before going any further. All I could see in my head was the top filling with air and ripping off as I drove home. Then, of course, Steve would have beaten me with a windshield wiper or something. I'm so glad I didn't break the car! : )

I want to go home.

No, strike that. I want to go away from here.

I hear it's nice down in the Keys this time of year.

Steve is making me watch the season finale of American Idol. I normally will not watch this show because it honestly makes me physically ill. It's not because I object to the premise of the show, I think it's great, but it makes me sad for the people who get on there that can't sing, but have no idea that they can't sing. I know that a great deal of the really bad singers only go on that show to be on TV, and I'm sure they think it's great when they get made fun of and everything, but it's the people who really and truly believe that they can sing that tears my heart out.

See, I love to sing more than anything else I can do. I would absolutely love to be on a show like American Idol, but let's face it, I'm too much of a coward to ever audition. My biggest fear would be to get in front of the judges and sing and think I did a great job, but be told I sucked. No matter how many people have ever told me I was good, I always get the feeling that they are just being nice! That's kind of pathetic, I know, but I can't help it. I would probably never sing again because it would make me feel horrible. So I have all of this empathy for these people I don't know because I know they probably went home feeling terrible because of how they were treated!

I can't believe he's making me watch this!

For those of you that are curious, here is a picture of my car.


Well, it's not technically my car because I've been too lazy to uplod the pictures I've taken of it, but this is exactly like my car, color and everything.

World, meet Lois.

I sneaked out of the house last night when Steve was asleep and took the car for a test drive. I probably wouldn't have had to sneak, but it was more fun to think of it that way. I just wanted to get a feel for it since I was going to get to drive it today, so I drove about 5 miles to the Target shopping center. Since it was a nice night, and I had never driven a convertible before, I pulled into the Wendy's parking lot and put the top down.

**I'm going to interject here that I now firmly believe that I must have the potential to be an extremely self absorbed person. Not so much because I think I'm so great or anything, but because I am continuously being preemptively humbled. Looking at it objectively, I don't think that's such a terrible thing. In fact, it's actually starting to be funny. But I digress**

As I sat there in my hot-mama convertible with the top down, I thought to myself how great the car was and how awesome it was going to look when I drove off - especially to the teenagers who were in the parking lot. So as I'm pulling out of the lot, I had to pause at the enterance to look both ways, and I get sprayed right in the head with a sprinkler. In fact, unfortunately for me, the first fifty yards or so of street are lined with sprinklers. Needless to say, that was hardly awesome. : )

At any rate, I like the car. Josh has named it Lois.