Tuesday, December 15, 2015


1) Last Saturday, a couple had a wedding at our church.  Well, technically, it was a vow renewal, but because they'd never had a church wedding, just a Justice of the Peace deal, they wanted to have something their friends and family could come to. Actually, it turned out to be a double vow renewal ceremony because the bride's son and his wife had also gotten married by a JotP and wanted to do it again in front of family and friends. Only no one they invited came.  Not one person.  Granted, it wasn't supposed to be a big, lavish deal or anything, but still.  I felt so bad.  I was their only wedding guest, and to be fair, I wasn't really a guest as much as I was a worker.  It was still a beautiful ceremony, though. The church is decorated for Christmas, the brides were beautiful, the grooms were handsome, and everything went well.  It was a very sweet wedding.

I don't mean to sound braggy by telling you this, but I actually did a lot for this wedding, and it's kind of funny when I look back on it.  I made the decorations for the reception, made the unity candles, played the music, controlled the lights, took the photos, laid out the food for the reception, served the drinks, caught the bouquet, ate with the two couples, cleaned up afterwards, and saw them off from the church!  Apparently, all of our dry goods from the pantry had been given out, so we didn't have any rice to throw, but I did find a jar of dried beans for soup, so I threw those at them instead. Hey, it was all we had and I couldn't let them leave without something!  If I'd had a couple of weeks warning, I could have probably gone to the courthouse and gotten a temporary county license to perform the ceremony since I was ordained online a while back!  I'm a one woman wedding chapel, y'all!  If you ever need a wedding in a hurry, just let me know.  I can hook you up!  I will also throw beans at you, but that's just a bonus. :)

2) Sadly, our pastor's mother passed away on Friday.  I never got to meet her, but he'd told me stories about her and she seemed like a really hip lady.  She'd been bedridden for years after a botched back surgery almost killed her.  I feel so bad for the pastor but he seems to be holding up well.  He reminds me a lot of my dad after my own grandmother passed away.  I hope he'll take some time to rest and recoup over the next couple of weeks.  Sorrow is exhausting, and he isn't the kind of person to sit still and rest, but I hope he will at least try.  Trying to tell someone like that to take some time off is pretty much an exercise in futility, but I did anyway.  Got to keep everyone sane around here, you know.

Steve and I went to her viewing last night and there were a lot of people there.  It was very confusing!  Instead of the whole family standing in a receiving line, they were just in little groups in the chapel, and every time we would walk over to talk to the people we knew, someone would slide in front of us and start a long conversation with the family member.  It was borderline rude, although I know they didn't mean to be that way.  I also got the stink eye from some of those denim-skirted-bun-head ladies while we were there.  I guess because I was wearing slacks and makeup, I don't know.  Personally, I don't think Jesus cares what I wear as long as I'm decent, and I certainly made sure to be!  Had I known I'd get snurled at, though, I would have gone with the first thing I tried on, which was a dress I hadn't worn in years that turned out to be so low cut in the front that it went past indecent and all the way to hilarious!  I refuse to be shamed for my clothes by anyone wearing a denim skirt. Don't test me.

3) This lady at my church is a fantastic cook and she's always bringing me food.  I can say I'm not hungry, and no thank you, and regardless I'll have a plate of something in my hand in less than 15 minutes. If I was stronger, I could just not eat it, but you guys, that woman can COOK.  Everything she makes is delicious and I am helpless.  I'd already had breakfast when she came in for the ladies prayer meeting this morning, and she asked if I wanted anything. I told her no. She did not accept that answer. I have just finished a slice of quiche and some kind of barbecued sausage and I think I'm so full I might die. I regret nothing, and everything.  I'd do it again.  Help me.

4) You know, I've always had this ability to kind of read people.  It kind of freaks people out, because some folks think it's supernatural or something, but really, it's just about paying attention. Anyone can do it if they are interested enough to try.  Honestly, I wish I was much better at it, but as it is, I do alright. At least I used to do alright. Anyway, being able to read people is useful, because if you can do that, you aren't surprised very often by what they do.  That is comforting in a way.  But lately I've come to realize that there are some people who I should be completely in tune with, that never, ever do what I think they will anymore.  I don't know if it's time or distance, or if I just don't spend enough time actually with the person, or if my brain is broken somehow, but it's really frustrating!  I'll be the first to admit that it's an inexact science, this reading people, and that sometimes it's more of wishful thinking situation where you think "Oh, if they answer this question *this way* that would be a perfect response." However, I've been right more often than not in the past, but now...even Steve is surprising me lately, and with a few glaring exceptions, I'm pretty sure I had him pegged.  It's weird and frustrating and I need to get my vibe fixed soon before all you wonderful, crazy people drive me insane.

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