People keep feeding me. Dear God, they will not stop feeding me.
It started with doughnuts. My boss got me doughnuts and that was good. I like doughnuts.
Then more people came. MORE PEOPLE CAME AND THE FOOD DIDN'T STOP!
There was a ladies prayer meeting and they brought us food, but some was for my birthday. They sang happy birthday to me and handed me a plate of food.
Baptist women do not screw around when it comes to food.
I don't want to be rude and not at least taste what they've given me, so I've been eating all day and I don't know if I'm going to survive. I had to secretly throw away part of a cupcake. I did it like I was smuggling contraband out of the country, just so no one would see me and get their feelings hurt. I've hidden a baggy of mini muffins so no one knows I didn't eat them. My boss then bought us lunch because that's what he does and I told him he didn't have to, but he still did.
I love that all of these people want to do things for me, but I'm so full that I can't move.
I've eaten all of the food in the world. I've probably eaten the food that should have gone to a village in Malawi. Please tell them I'm sorry.
My pancreas has given up. I'm going towards the light...