A NEW UPDATE

Well, this is not the update I was hoping to give, but it's the one I have.

My brother is not doing well.  He has been in the hospital since Friday night, and his body just doesn't seem to want to work the way it's supposed to.  So far, nothing the doctors have tried is working to make him any better.  He's being fed through an IV, and that's about all they can do right now.

I'm worried about him. I don't want him to be scared or in pain.  I'm worried about my mother, because she is doing everything she can to get him well again, and she won't leave his side longer than an hour at a time and she is stressed beyond reason.

There's nothing I can do, and it feels so helpless.  I don't even know how to pray about it.  It's too much.

He doesn't deserve this. My mom doesn't deserve this.

Every time the phone rings I'm expecting awful news.  I feel guilty every time I eat because I know he can't.  I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do.

I hate this.

If anyone ever tries to me that all this is happening for a reason, I'll gouge out their damn eyes.