NOOOOOOOO

UGH.  You know how sometimes you can be going about your day, just doing your life like normal and suddenly remember something that happened years ago and be freshly horrified about it?

This morning, I was at work and suddenly remembered that about 15 years ago, a woman from our church told me that she had Porphyria (a terrible blood disorder that ultimately led to her going insane and dying.)  When she told me I said "COOL!" because I had never known anyone who had it, and the only thing I knew about it was that it was probably one of the things that created the myth of vampires. 

I didn't mean it was actually cool, and even then I knew it was an awful disease, but I...I don't know why I said cool.  I guess it was the vampire thing?  Maybe?  I don't know, but I had successfully blocked the memory because right after I said it I knew what an asshole thing it was to say.  THe look on her face, y'all...  I'm not even sure what brought the memory back, but I've felt very uncomfortable about it since.

Please know that if you ever get sick and tell me about it, I genuinely do care. If I say something like "COOL!" it's only because my brain hasn't caught up with my heart yet.

via GIPHY