Showing posts with label Stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupid. Show all posts

Monday, August 28, 2017

BLOGGED AFTER THE FACT: PART 3 - BEWARE THE WHITE MYSTERY GOO

Saturday morning we got up early so that we could make it to the local farmer's market that was being held not very far from where we were staying.  Actually, almost everything we did was not very far from where we were staying, which was nice, because driving when you don't have to sucks!

The market was fairly small, but it was much more varied than any other one I'd ever been to.  There was food, of course, but mainly the rest of the booths were crafts and things.  I really enjoyed it.  We did one circuit around the place before we bought anything, and once done, we shopped in earnest.  Well, Sara shopped in earnest and I instigated her shopping, haha!  We had a lot of fun, though. I did buy some yarn made by a local alpaca farm (because of course I did) and got a beautiful lotus shaped candle holder from a local potter.  We didn't want to buy any food, because it wouldn't have traveled well, and for that I'm sorry, because there was some awesome fruits, veggies, and prepared foods for sale there.

One incident at the farmer's market has to be told, though, because it's so stupid.  Scratch that, I am the stupid one.  I think you'll agree.  One of the stalls at the market was some kind of hippy-dippy couple selling powdered clay of some kind.  I don't remember what it was called, but I think it was supposed to be used as a cosmetic mask.  I wasn't sure, because I got distracted by another thing they were selling.  They had a small table off to the side that held what looked like small bottles of lotion. There was a sign that had the name of it (I'm not going to put it here, because I don't want anyone googling it and finding this entry) and it had a list of many, MANY, special benefits that included aligning your chakras, finding your soul mate, lucid dreaming, levitation, telepathy and the like.  Basically, it was your run of the mill hocus-pocus BS, but I was intrigued.  I asked the guy behind the table what it was (to be polite) and he started trying to explain it to me.  I asked him if it was a lotion, and he said "No, you put it under your tongue, want to try it?"  Now, normally, I'd never, ever do that unless I knew what was in it.  However, I was in "Adventurous Vacation Mode" and didn't even think before I scooped some up and put it in my mouth.  As soon as I did that, my brain kicked in, and I immediately regretted my decision.  It's pretty solid advice NOT to put random white mystery goo into your mouth when it's offered to you at a farmer's market, or really anywhere else, to be frank.  It could have been ANYTHING, y'all, and I had voluntarily put it in my mouth!  Blerg!  He offered it to Sara and she was all "Hell No!" which made me feel even stupider.  So for the duration of us standing there talking to these people, I couldn't swallow or spit, so I had this mystery substance in my mouth for what seemed like a year.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to spit without anyone noticing? I do!  I finally managed to spit it out, and I don't think I absorbed much of whatever it was, so I didn't meet my soul mate and my chakras still feel in the same position as they were before. I'm not convinced that it was a real thing.  I guess I'll never know. :)

We left the farmer's market and had breakfast, and then we moved on to Flagler Ave, which was the main street of where we were staying.  It was lined with shops and restaurants, so we spent the next few hours of the day walking, talking, shopping and eating.  It wasn't so much about spending money or eating, though, we were just enjoying hanging out.  It was great fun! I'm pretty sure several of the shop keepers we met thought we were an adorable lesbian couple (and I mean, we would be if that was the case) so that was kind of hilarious!  Eh, that's fine with me. Sara should be so lucky!  Haha!

I'm not sure how long we were out, just that by the time we got back to the apartment, we were tired.  At this point we probably could have just hung out for the rest of the day, but there was one thing that Sara wanted while we were in Florida that we hadn't found while we were out.  She told me that when she was a kid, she was never allowed to buy one of the cheesy, air brushed vacation shirts that seemed to be so ubiquitous when we were kids, so she wanted to get one as an ironic souvenir.  Used to, air brush shops were everywhere at the beach, but we had to drive 30 minutes away to Daytona Beach to find a place that still did it!  That was a mess.  I don't know how many of your have been to Daytona Beach, but it's a big, skeezy, crowded tourist trap surrounded by enormous hotels and restaurants that pretty much obscure the ocean view, but it's a POPULAR big, skeezy, crowded tourist trap.  We drove down the strip and around and around all of the places trying to find the air brush shop, but we couldn't find it!  Sara, who was driving, got angrier and angrier because we couldn't find a place to park, or even a place that resembled where we were going.  We almost gave up, but decided to call the number on the facebook page and see if they could help us.  Turns out we were driving right by it, over and over, but it blended in with all the rest of the neon, so we never saw it!  We finally managed to put our shirt order in, but it was going to take an hour and a half, so we spent the next little bit continuing to drive around and around and around and up and down Daytona, until we stopped at a beach ramp to walk out and take some pictures.  We should have done that much earlier, because about three minutes later, the air brush shop called to let us know that our shirts were ready.  Oh, they were glorious.  You can see the final design here:


Good Lord, how big is my forehead?

We've promised that these will never be worn as functioning clothing, although I'll admit, I wore mine to a drive through window after I got home, but mainly these are just for funzies and to remind us that we are classy through and through!  Haha!

It was late by the time we made it back to New Smyrna Beach and we were starving, so we found an open restaurant, which was kind of a bar, I think, and had delicious hamburgers for dinner.  Next to us was a family with small children. In a bar.  Let that sink in.  We were wiped out when we got back to our apartment, and so we got ready for bed and sat up and talked for a long time before we fell asleep.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

For the past couple of weeks, I just haven't felt well.  Mentally, I was tense, obsessive over silly things, quick tempered and spacey. Physically, I could go from feeling fine to feeling like garbage.  Mostly I just felt really strange all the way around. You know that feeling you get right before you cry?  I felt like that a lot, only I never cried. In turn, I'd get super hyper, which was strange.  I'd also wake up feeling panicky, I was itchy and my skin felt like it was fizzing. My feelings never really seemed to match my emotions. At times, I literally thought I could be losing my mind. It was scary. I kept trying to tell Steve I thought something was wrong, but I couldn't explain it well enough for him to understand. I probably sounded crazy!

It wasn't until last night that I got an inkling as to what could be the matter.  I have to take a prescription medication to correct a thyroid imbalance. (eff you, HIPAA, this is my blog!)  It isn't even a very serious one, to be honest, but it's just off enough for me to need to take the medicine. I've been on it for a while and I've never had any problems, which is why I didn't put two and two together. I'd finally gotten into a consistent pattern with taking it, because it has specific sort of guidelines.  You can't take it with anything else, you have to take it on an empty stomach and blah, blah, blah.

I'm not sure what triggered it, but apparently I became hyper-sensitive to it and I had no idea, so I just kept taking it!  I was taking medication that screws with all kinds of mental and physical things, and I never once thought that it could be the cause of why I was feeling so weird all the time!  The only thing that finally tipped me off was that I forgot to take it one day and I started feeling a little better. Since I wasn't sure I was right about it, and I didn't want to NOT take medicine I'm supposed to need, I took half of one and within an hour, I started feeling the panicky, fixated, itchy, fizzy feelings I'd had before.  I looked up side effects online, and I had so many of them that I was convinced it had to be that.  I even called the doctor's office (and I never do that with things like this) to make sure I didn't need to eat charcoal, or say a prayer to the moon goddess Diana to keep from dying or something. Luckily, I didn't!  I just have to stop taking it and keep an eye on myself!

I think the worst part of the whole thing, to me anyway, is my behavior while all of this was going on. I was mean to people. I said and did very odd things.  It wasn't constant, of course. I was able to be relatively normal for the most part, but I keep thinking about all of the little strange things I said and did to people and I am embarrassed. I try so hard to be kind and funny and good to people, and I haven't been as successful at that as I would have liked. It bothered me so much I just sat in the back of the church and cried.  Maybe it isn't as bad as I think it was, but maybe it was!  Of course, I'm going to remember the worst parts of it all!

I've been told that I apologize too much, and for weird things, but I am really, really sorry if I did or said anything too weird or hurtful to anyone of you over the past couple of weeks. I hope you guys can still like me a little. I'm actually already feeling better than I was, so maybe I can get back to being myself again soon! I hope so!

Monday, November 17, 2014

BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT, THAT'S WHY

I have often said the phrase "I've never felt so stupid in my life."  It's one of those hyperbolic things that you'd say when you forget your debit card at Wal-Mart or forget where you park your car.  However, I've never meant it quite as much as I mean it now.  I'm fairly certain you'll agree with me.

I'd taken the day off last Thursday.  I was sitting in the living room eating lunch and watching TV when someone knocked on the door.  The knock was cheerful, so I thought it was the lady across the street (who incidentally is the only one of our neighbors who comes to our house, usually.)  I answered the door and two girls were standing there.  They said that they were collecting votes that would help them win a scholarship.  I honestly can't tell you why my brain didn't engage right then, I'd like to think it was because I'm just a nice person, but I think it's because I'm stupid.   I said I'd vote for them and they asked to come inside because it was so cold, so I let them in {STUPID #1.}  I didn't really understand what it was that they were asking me to do, but it turned out that they were collecting votes: i.e. selling subscriptions to magazines that were donated to a children's hospital and the ones with the most subscriptions would win this contest.  I'd had a similar thing happen a year or so ago when a girl from our neighborhood came by and asked for donations for a school thing, so I thought this was the same thing.  I realized pretty quickly that this was different all together when one of the girls pulled out a receipt book and started writing out a receipt but, I still wasn't catching on.  They were starting to make me nervous, because they kept getting really close to me and I kept having to step back.  The thought actually went through my head that I'd have to fight them off because they were close enough to stab me.  That didn't happen, of course.   One of them asked to use my bathroom, and I said OK {STUPID #2} but that's when it hit me that something weird was going on.  I stood where I could see the bathroom door as the other girl showed me the receipt, which was for way more money than I could pay her at that point, so she wrote another one for half (only one outrageously overpriced magazine subscription instead of two) and so I moved over the write a check, hoping they'd leave if I did that.  The only time the bathroom door was out of sight was while I was writing that check, but the girl had been in there a long time.  I know the girl never used the bathroom, because the toilet never flushed, and she had opened the bathroom door very quietly, because when I walked back to the door of the living room, I looked up and she was standing there in the bathroom doorway.  When she walked back to me, her demeanor was very different, so I'm fairly certain she took a hit of something while in the bathroom, which pissed me off.  I started looking at her to see if she had anything of ours on her, but I couldn't tell.  They started asking me all kinds of questions about Butler, about this and that, but I finally got them out of my house. 

I ran around looking to see if anything was missing and I didn't notice anything.  I'm very grateful that I had been wearing my grandmother's wedding band, which would have been in plain sight of the girl in the bathroom had I left it where I usually do while I'm taking a shower.  I looked up the name of the business that they said they were working for and saw that it is fairly well considered to be a scam.  The main complaints were about not getting magazines that were ordered, but since the business lives in a kind of loophole where they are technically within the law, they are allowed to operate.  I know that girl was looking for stuff in my bathroom, and I know they were trying to get a look at what we had in the house while they were in there.  They were very good at trying to distract me, but I still have no idea why it took so long for me to realize what they were doing!  Of course, now they have one of my checks and they've been inside my house.  I'm pretty much terrified that they are either going to try and get into my bank account, or come back and rob my house.  Not that we have anything valuable that we leave lying around, but still.  Ugh.  I'm so stupid.  If I can get off relatively cheaply by the business just cashing my check and no magazines getting sent, I'll consider myself lucky. 

Seriously, though...this is the dumbest I've ever felt, and if you know me, you know that's saying something!