RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) Wow, I'm tired today. I hate the "Spring Forward" part of daylight savings time. I'm much more fond of the "Fall Back" part of the whole deal. I made myself get up and go to the gym this morning and although it shouldn't be any different than any other morning that I go, I could FEEL that hour that I should have been asleep taunting me from the weight section of the room. Well, it was either that extra hour or the guy who looks like an Oompa Loompa. Either way, I was being taunted! TAUNTED!

2) Josh is coming home this weekend! Yay! I've missed him terribly. I finally get to meet Jeoff, and I hope we get along in person as well as we did over the phone. Josh keeps telling me that any gay guy would love me. I mean, I'm fairly gay friendly, right? At least everyone I know in Huntsville thinks I am. Oh well, if he can't love me, he obviously has problems. :)

3) Last night I had a wardrobe malfunction at church while talking to one of the ushers before services began. Luckily it wasn't very obvious to anyone else. In the middle of our conversation, my bra just kind of fell apart. Apparently I didn't realize that the straps on my bra were detachable and I have no idea how they detached while I was sitting still, but everything...uh...lost structural integrity. I mean, I didn't go full Janet Jackson on the guy or anything, thank goodness. However, it was still embarrassing and it wasn't something I could pretend didn't happen. He saw the look on my face and I had to explain what happened. Luckily this guy isn't one of the elders in our church and he isn't the kind of person who gets embarrassed, but he did turn red in the face. A trip to the ladies room and everything was fine after that. Well, except for my dignity. It was in shreds.

4) I watched Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus over the weekend! If you haven't seen it, go and find it immediately. It was so awful it was funny. The acting was beyond terrible and the story was just dumb, but the fact that Mega Shark was big enough to breach out of San Fransisco Bay and take a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge, as well as jump into the air and eat a plane THAT WAS IN MID AIR is too awesome to miss. Also, Lorenzo Lamas was in it. I can't even imagine what kind of process the writers of the SyFy movies go through to think these things up. They take an animal or insect, make it huge and send it on a rampage. That seems to be the whole idea. It was glorious. :)

5) The other day a girl on Facebook had a status that asked people to share one memory that they had about her. Usually, I love these and will answer if I can, but all I could think of when I saw that was "Well, two of the boyfriends I had in high school (in a row) cheated on me with you!" I ended up not writing anything. It didn't seem appropriate.

QUICKIES

1) There is a store in Huntsville that sells nothing but yarn and knitting/crochet supplies. It's like the black hole of arts and crafts. I walked in yesterday to buy a specific type if yarn that I couldn't find at Hobby Lobby and I think I blacked out because when I walked out with a whole bag full of stuff I hadn't intended to buy. Oooh, and there is so much more I want in there. It's a dangerous, dangerous place.

2) Things have been kind of crazy here at work. It's like everyone is making up for December, when I had absolutely nothing to do while I was here. Now, of course, everyone needs everything done immediately. Currently I'm working on the new menu panels for the food court. We have a new executive chef and he redecorated the place and changed the menu. If the food tastes half as good as it sounds, it will definitely be a step up from the burgers and fries we have had for the past few years.

3) It's such a gloomy day outside, but I like the thunder. Except for the instances where it sounds like a missile has been dropped outside of the house, I find thunder soothing. Of course, this means there is a chance I'm going to fall asleep while I'm working.

4) I fell out of my chair yesterday while I was stretching and I hid beneath my desk for 10 minutes in case anyone saw me. Then it was brought to my attention that if I didn't get back in my chair for 10 minutes, someone should have come to check on me. I'm telling you, I could be murdered back here and no one would notice!

5) I will probably have to work nights this summer while the Star Wars exhibit will be open because we don't have enough museum workers to run it the whole time. I'm still not going to wear a flight suit. :P

OK, so maybe I AM a leeeeeetle evil.

But only a little.

THIS SUCKS

It is currently 2:13 in the morning and I think I'm dying.

OK, I don't really think that I am dying. I'm just whining. I can't help it! Shut up! :P

My back got worse again during the night. I apparently tried to roll over in my sleep and I woke up literally screaming because it felt like someone had just stabbed me. I probably scared Steve to death. I had to finally get up and scramble around to find the bottle of Lortab I got when I had my root canal done. Yes, it hurt that much. I hate taking those pills because A) they make me hot, hyper and mean. B) They make me sick to my stomach C) They make me kinda floopy D) I get an urge to write emails that usually make very little since and E) the last time I took one of them some reeeeeeeeeally bad stuff happened. We all know what. Bad connitations, man.

Anyways, now I'm up, the pill's pain killing has worn off and I'll be damned if I take another one. The only way I can get comfortable is if I sit in my office chair either leaned back as far as possible or hunched up sideways. I'm so tired, but the pill side effect of keeping me awake has not worn off. I'm irritated and there is no one for me to beat with a Nerf bat. BOO!

On a funnier note, just so you won't think I'm completely evil:

On the way back from work, we stopped to get the mail before turning into the driveway. I saw that a small spider was hanging from a strand of webbing from one of the letters, and I didn't want Steve to freak out. I had enough time to think to myself "If you sound panicked, Steve will panic. Talk calmly and maybe he'll stay calm too." I said, calmly - I promise - "Steve, hon, you need to put the mail back out the win..." and that is as far as I got. I guess Steve's Spidey sense went off because the mail went flying out of the window. It went everywhere, and of course, since the spider was dangling from a piece of web, I'm fairly certain that he stayed in the car with us. Steve was frozen, and all I could say was "You idiot...you didn't get the spider out!" He just kept repeating "Got to get out! Got to get out!" and he sped up the driveway and jumped out of the car.

I promise I'm not evil. I honestly sympathize with Steve's phobia, I really do. I hate bugs of all kinds and I'm not sure I wouldn't have acted the same way...but I cracked up. I laughed until sound wasn't even coming out of me anymore. I laughed until I was practically laying in the driveway gasping for breath with tears running out of my eyes. I laughed until I wheezed. I can't even decide what was funnier, Steve knowing that there was a spider on the mail just because I told him to put the mail back out of the window, him throwing the mail and it just flying in all directions, or him jumping out of the car. I don't know, but it was funny!!!!!!!

PS: I'm not evil! I'm not!

QUICKIES

1) I hurt my back and I have no idea how I did it. I'm all hunched over right now and I look as if I should be ringing a bell and yelling "SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!" It hurts to sit up or lean over. About the only way it doesn't hurt is if I'm lying down. I'd lay down on the floor at work if I didn't think whatever living in the carpet would eat me. I'm probably going to have to lie on my drafting table in a bit to see if that helps, but God help me if my boss comes in. He won't stick around long enough for me to explain.

2) I tried clearing the heavy, wet snow off of the window on my side of the car this morning by rolling the window down. I realized before it was down very far that it was a bad idea, and I let go of the button, but apparently it went into automatic mode and rolled all the way down. Gravity took over and a wall of slush fell over on me. I was both wet and cold when I got to work.

3) Got two great crochet pattern books and one book on Steam Punk style jewelry last night! I'm excited to start making some of the stuff in them!

4) I almost blinded myself while taking a watch apart. Apparently there is a spring hidden down in there I wasn't aware of. I lifted the top off of a small drum shaped area and something flew past my eyes. Stupid booby-trapped watch.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) This weekend I wanted an adventure. I didn't care what kind, but I didn't want to spend my whole Saturday doing laundry and watching TV. Since I didn't have any ideas in mind, and still needed to be back home by evening, I settled for going to get groceries with Steve! Whee! :) Actually, it was intended as more than that, but we left the house kind of early and nothing else was open yet. We wound up going to Target and my first adventure was teaching Steve the art of browsing. He's a typical male kind of shopper, usually: Search & Destroy. However, since we got to the Targe Mahal early enough to avoid the pushy mommy-shoppers and old ladies, we had the leisure to poke around a bit. Steve also learned that browsing can become dangerous, because you tend to pick up things you've never noticed before, justify buying them, and end up spending more money than you intended. Oops. We also went to Fresh Market and got some good stuff. That place is going to be the death of me. On the way home, I had my second adventure: using the Bernouli Principle, my hair was pulled through the sun roof of Steve's car (which he didn't notice) and he closed it. Ouch a LOT. That wasn't so much an adventure, but a lesson learned, I suppose! :)

2) While driving up to Target, I saw a guy eye-humping Steve's car. It was so blatant that I felt that we needed to give the two of them some time alone.

3) I got up early to go to the gym this morning, got ready to go, but didn't. I just didn't want to. I know that means I'll have to make myself go after work, which I hate, but I am feeling belligerent and difficult today. I may need to be punished.

4) Yesterday was a weird, weird day. I thought it was just me, but it turned out that a lot of things were just a half a beat out of step. We had a potluck meal after the morning services, but I'd over slept and had to make my food at the church. That isn't too big of a deal since I work in the kitchen, but it isn't a usual thing for me to do. People started bringing in things and I would take them, as usual, but for some reason none of us could get in the groove that we normally do. The music minister asked me if I could run the sound system during the service since the regular guy was sick, and I managed to screw up something that is as simple as a power point presentation before I straightened it all out. I had to run downstairs after service so that I could help in the kitchen, and they weren't done setting out the food (a rarity for our kitchen staff). Everything got kind of rushed after that. We also found out later that the plumbing in the church had somehow gotten screwed up, so no one could go to the bathroom, wash their hands, and we couldn't wash the dishes! We cleaned up as best as we could without using the sinks and one of the other ladies had to take home a pile of dirty dishes to wash (gross). Evening services were shortened because of the plumbing thing, which was just weird in an OCD way, and it just seemed like everything was off kilter. Maybe it was the full moon? Could be!

5) I've been thinking about the movie Independence Day. Probably too much, as it is, but I have a theory about it. It is common for people to make fun of the end where Jeff Goldblume uploads a virus into the alien mothership. I mean, you'd think that alien tech would be more secure than Mac software, right? While watching the movie this weekend, I realized that the US Army had kept the Area 51 ship on the secret base for a lot of years and had been studying it. That means someone would have had to have information about the computer technology, right? So if Jeff Goldblume was smart enough with computers to have figured out the original countdown that the aliens were using to synchronize their attack, it stands to reason (to me) that he would be able to look at the information that the army had gathered concerning the smaller ship it had in storage and figure out how to interface with it! So either the tech was simplistic enough for an earthling to figure out how to hack into it, or Microsoft has expanded even further throughout the universe than we thought. Also, this is the only movie Randy Quaid has ever done where he doesn't gross me out completely. That last part is just FYI.

6) Something smells weird in my office and I can't find anything that can explain it. I'm scared.

7) I've developed a dangerous obsession with Gummi Bears lately. I can't stop eating them. No, I'm not pregnant.

8) My dreams have been super boring, yet completely linear lately. I hate having boring dreams. It's like being stuck in a theater watching a bad movie, but not being able to get out of your seat. Last night, though, I had a scary dream about zombies. Zombies don't usually scare me. I mean, why would they? Sure, they want to eat my brain, but they are easily outrunable, fairly stupid, and they have a specific and well defined mode of dispatch - removing the head or destroying the brain. However, I will occasionally have dreams about them that creep me out. Last night was even worse because the dream made sense and had a plausible story line. I would imagine that, if a zombie apocalypse were to occur, it would be much like my dream. The worst part of the dream itself wasn't the zombies, though. It was that I had to steal a weapon to defend myself with. I put it in my purse and when the zombies came around I could never find it in all of the junk I was carrying around. Hmmmm, maybe it wasn't a zombie nightmare after all. Maybe it was a messy purse nightmare.

PLAYING WITH MY FOOD

3 Old Friends

The Unbearable Sadness of the Gummi Bear

"Bearly" Listening

OK, I'm much better today! Sorry about that.

It's just, when I walk into something like what I overheard yesterday, it gets me all ragey. You know, justice for the little man and all that.

Whew! I'm good! Move along! Nothing to see here...

I AM VEXED!!!!!!

I really wish I could just not care about stuff when it's none of my business. Seriously. I spend a lot of time worrying about things I can't do anything about.

The good news is, I am able to keep from getting actively involved in other people's issues, but if they are friends of mine and I care about them, I can't help but wish that I could do something to make things better.

I know people who simply don't care about other people's problems as long as it doesn't directly affect them, but I'm not built that way. I don't think anyone who honestly cares about other people can be that way. Ugh. I just wish I could be less...me...about things sometimes.

I can't mention what this is about because it honestly isn't any of my business. I have no dog in this race. I am simply a bystander who can see it going on. However, someone I like a great deal is being treated very, very wrongly by someone who has NO right to do what they are doing and I wish I could just, oh, I don't know... I'd like to beat the everloving shit out of them is what I'd like to to. I'd like to just take a stick and beat this person until he cried. I could do some severe damage to this person even if I didn't touch him, but I won't. I've got to sit this one out. I'm too mad and I'll regret anything I do or say at this point. It just isn't fair.

I am Kelly's seething mass of righteous indignation.

PS: Sorry about the language, Aunt Brenda.

MY LAWN. GET OFF IT.

Saturday was an interesting day, since we were tasked with fixing an opening in the fence that surrounds our property. Whee!

We began this adventure by visiting our local Tractor Supply Co. for fencing materials. That was lots of fun for two people who didn't know what the heck they were doing, but we didn't spend too much time wondering around. Thank goodness for that! We actually found the kind of fencing we needed right away, but it was in a giant roll that, as a whole, cost $200 and the store doesn't sell it by the yard. My dad used to be able to buy it in sections, but we didn't see anything like that. We also weren't going to buy a $200 dollar roll of fencing when we only needed 4 feet of it, either. We found a much smaller roll of some kind of fencing that was much, much cheaper and got that. Sure, it wasn't meant to be used as cattle fencing, but we decided that if 3 strands of barbed wire can keep cows from getting out, this stuff would be just as good.

Surprisingly, it wasn't hard to do. Mom told me we just needed to fill in the gap behind the swinging gate and then lift off the gate itself. Steve and I managed to get the fencing stretched across, nailed in the staples, and wrapped the remaining wire around the fence that was already there. I even repaired a bit near the gate that had pulled away. We weren't able to remove the gate after all, because the hinges were rusted beyond anything WD-40 could handle. We're just going to leave it. It's funny, but I realized while walking the fence row and filling in the gap that all my jewelry making and crocheting I do actually helped me to understand how the fence was put together. I'm not saying that I could just go out and fence in an entire field on my own or anything, but I'm confident that if I need to fix the fence again, I won't have any problems. The rest of the fence looks kind of sad. Papa would be PISSED if he could see that. He never let it get that droopy. Oh, well. Maybe one day I'll go back and fix it, but it will be a big job.

I also placed my No Trespassing signs. It made me feel mean to do so, but apparently I need to cover my bases in case of lawsuits. It turns out, people can sue you for their own stupidity. I even took my camera along to take pics of where I hung the signs in case they are removed like the last set were. Every time I hung one up, I felt like the guy from "Open Range" who hated the "free grazers." The whole day was a learning experience.

WHAT I LEARNED

1) Attaching cattle fencing to metal fence posts is very much like crocheting a Front Post Double stitch, but without the extra loop.
2) My property gets very wet and smooshy in the south west corner and along the back fence row.
3) Cows poop more than any other animal on earth. They also poop wherever they feel like it, so you have to watch every step you take.
4) I'm not too old to climb over the gate. Yet.
5) Although I'm not to old to climb the gate, I would still rather not have people see me do it.
6) Fences to not make good neighbors, but they do keep bad neighbors out!
7) The people behind us once owned a pet bear. A BEAR?! How could I not have known that?
8) It's ironic that I have a pair of boots that are made for work such as I did that day, but I can not wear them to do fence work because I wear them as regular shoes.
9) Baby cows are adorable and curious, but momma cows will end your life if they think you are too close to their babies.

A FENCE

Now the stone house on the lake front is finished and the
workmen are beginning the fence.

The palings are made of iron bars with steel points that
can stab the life out of any man who falls on them.

As a fence, it is a masterpiece, and will shut off the rabble
and all vagabonds and hungry men and all wandering
children looking for a place to play.

Passing through the bars and over the steel points will go
nothing except Death and the Rain and To-morrow.

~Carl Sandburg

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) I had a lovely, low key birthday. At first I thought all of my plans for the day would have to be scrapped because it was snowing really hard when we first got up to get ready for church. We were supposed to go to Mom's house for lunch (and cake...don't forget cake) which I had been looking forward to. We left for church and about halfway there the snow started coming down so hard and fast that the roads went from clear to a mess of slush and snow in a matter of minutes, so we had to turn around and go home. Weirdly enough, about an hour later the snow was gone from the roads and we made it in for services, at least. We also made it to mom's just fine and everything was so nice. She made me homemade spaghetti and the traditional coconut cake I always ask for. The Daytona NASCAR race was on, so I lost a couple of family members to that for a while, but that's OK. There is usually a race on during my B'day lunch every year, so I'm quite used to the indifference of my nephews by now. :) At least my brother in law didn't jump up every 5 minutes like he used to! Gotta love that! Sara stopped by the night before to drop of a giant chocolate covered...apple? I think it's an apple. I haven't opened it yet because I'm just kind of admiring it before I destroy it in a frenzy of M&M riddled debauchery. So very sweet of her! Mr. Lee also took me out to dinner and I got lots of birthday wishes from friends, so it wasn't bad at all. Of course, the last time I had a nice birthday, the rest of the year went to hell, but let's all hope that doesn't happen again this time. That sounds like a terrible way to look at life but you people have no idea how true that is for me. You. Just. Don't. Know.

2) I was an idiot on Saturday. Steve had to work, so I was home all by myself and bored out of my mind. I had been doing laundry, but that isn't exactly very exciting, and there was nothing at all worth watching on TV. That afternoon, while it was still light outside, I decided to buy the PPV movie Paranormal Activity. I had wanted to see it, but even the previews were scary, so I had been putting it off and putting it off. I decided that it couldn't possibly be all that scary, so I decided to turn it on while I was crocheting. Honestly, the first hour or so wasn't that bad. It was creepy, to be sure, but I've seen worse. However, the last ten minutes freaked my sh*t out. It was like the people who made the move were just lulling you into a sense of complacency. You know: "Ooooh, a scary noise" or "Oooooh, the door moved." It was like watching a scene from Ghost Hunters. Then the end comes and it was like "Oh, let's plunge you headlong into your worst nightmare and then leave you without a resolution so that you have to turn on every light in the house and refuse to move from your comfy chair until Steve gets home!" Seriously, I had to go to the bathroom at one point, but I was too scared to get out of my chair! I finally made myself get up, but the ending of that movie was too much for me. Demons are real and I am going to avoid movies about them from now freaking on. Don't even let me get into trying to sleep after that...

3) Here is a picture of what is possibly the best snowman I've ever seen!
This is Han Snowlo in Carbonite, courtesy of the Amazing McGee family! How awesome is this? I'm ashamed Steve and I didn't think of it first!

4) When I went to Mom's house yesterday, I was wearing my contacts instead of my glasses over there for the first time ever. I stopped in the kitchen and asked my mom and my sister "Notice anything different about my face? Eh? EH?" I was actually only kidding because I figured it would be obvious, but they just got blank looks on their faces. They were like "You're wearing a hat?" "No makeup today?" I told them I wasn't wearing glasses and they got all surprised! I didn't hallucinate having to wear them for 17 years did I? When I told them about the contacts, my youngest nephew looked at me and said "You wore glasses, Aunt Kelly?" Hello?! We got a good laugh out of that, but when we sat down for lunch, my brother-in-law looked at me and said "Where's your glasses?" I will never understand the way my family thinks. Oy.

5) Seth, the youngest nephew, also had this little gem to say when we were talking during lunch: "Women don't need cars, just like they don't need to drive. There ain't no road between the kitchen and the couch, after all." I may be misquoting, but that was the gist of it. I'm know he was just repeating something he had heard (from his father it turned out) but I told him I hoped he said that to someone one day and they beat the snot out of him and put it on YouTube. I weep for the future.

This is so cute I threw up a rainbow! :)




This is the Japanese version of "Walk Don't Run." I love the bunny's squinty concentration eyes!

QUICKIES

1) I've figured out why I'm having trouble with my contacts. It's my office. Either the heater (which blows cold air) is drying out my eyes, there is a de-humidifier somewhere in this place that is affecting humidity up here, or there is so much mold and dust flying around the office that I'm going to be taken over and controlled by single-celled vermin and the only side effect (other than evil) is itchy eyes.

2) Speaking of my eyes... I told you I was having trouble with my new glasses. I thought it was because I was just getting used to the new prescription or the slight progressive lens. I even had this fear that I had said "number 1" was better than "number 2" when they were flipping through the exam lenses, when in fact, "number 2" was better. That wasn't it at all!! I tried wearing them and it was awful. I was getting nauseated and dizzy, and driving with them was like playing Mario Cart through a blurry television screen. I finally took them back to the doc's office and asked if thy would take a look at them. It turns out that my left lens had a wave in it. They are going to fix it for free. I was just relieved that I hadn't had a stroke.

TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED

Yuck. I have to go down to my property this weekend (weather permitting, of course) and hang some "No Trespassing" signs along the fence. I don't like to do that, but of course, I also don't want anyone going out there, getting hurt, and suing me because they are too stupid to stay off (or too stupid to keep their kids off of) of property that doesn't belong to them. My mom's husband had already hung a sign, but either the elements or the neighbors tore it down.

My sister told me I need to remove the gate behind the house and add fencing to the gap. Because I know all about fencing. Because I've hung fences all of my life. Yep...

She also told me, with her never failing grasp of the vulgar that "You need to tell them white trash neighbors to get their crap off of your property." That's going to be fun. I'll get to approach people I don't know and literally tell them to get off of my lawn.

Being a grown up is fun! FUN!

You've heard me talk about it, but now you can see it for yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: The General.

This is Steve's new and wonderful car! A 2009 Dodge Challenger that we've named The General. You know, 'cause we name cars in our family. Don't judge us. OK, granted, if we were going to name it The General, it should be a Charger like the Duke boys had, but we couldn't resist. We also haven't figured out how to slide in and out of the windows, but hopefully we have time to learn all of that later.

Anyways, this is the car I haven't been able to drive yet. I think I've almost shamed Steve into letting me drive it! It hasn't happened yet, but hopefully it will one of these days. :) My guess is that once it gets scratched or something, I'll be able to get my hands on it. Honestly, at this point I'm paranoid about driving it, so I'm not too devastated. I'm weird about touching, driving, using anything owned by someone who is particular about their stuff, because with my luck I'll somehow destroy it, and Steve is really particular about his stuff. Also, it's easier not to fuss about it, you know?

I think I've unraveled the mystery behind the real reason he won't let me drive it, though. I have noticed a strange phenomenon that surrounds the car almost everywhere it goes. I've always thought of cars being one of those things that attract women. I guess because it is portrayed like that in the media, but this car doesn't attract women...oh no. Ceci n'est pas une Chick Magnet, indeed. This car is a Dude Magnet. I'm not kidding and I'm not even exaggerating. Policemen, men we know, men we've never met, my co-workers out on their smoke breaks, guys driving next to us, the COO of my company; they all drool over this car. We get stopped out in parking lots, stores, and church to answer questions. We even got extra special service from a waiter at a restaurant we went to because he saw us drive up in it and he wanted to ask questions about it. It's actually fairly funny. I've had to learn things about this car so that I can answer questions myself. Don't get me wrong, the car is nice, but the only other thing I've ever known this many random guys to be fascinated with is boobs, and they don't have nearly as many questions about those as they do this car. Possibly the combination of the two is just too powerful a force to be unleashed on an unsuspecting world? I don't know. Heeheehee.

It's really a great car, though. It has beautiful lines and I like the vintage style of it. I kind of wish it had the HEMI engine so that it would sound bad-ass, but I think the trade off of a V-6 for better gas mileage makes it all OK.

IRRATIONAL FEARS -- 1

I grew up in a very small town. I'm not sure you can even call where I lived a "town" exactly. I lived on a cattle farm on the outskirts of the small town, Athens, AL, if you want to get technical. Because of that, any time we went into Athens proper, we referred to it as "Goin' to town." Specifically, we called going to Wal-Mart "Goin to town." I know that probably sounds silly if you didn't grow up in a place similar to where I did. But, I digress.

Goin' to town was an event. It isn't like now, where I live a literal few minutes from just about everything I need and will just jump in the car and go. Going to town took preparation. We put on nicer clothes, fixed our hair and make-up and made sure we were decent before going to town. It was just the way we did it back then.

These days, I still have the habit of making myself decent before heading out to Wal-Mart or Target or wherever, but I'm not as scrupulous as I used to be. If I'm in the middle of a project and need something, it's likely I'll just slap on lip-gloss and a hat, make sure I'm decently clothed and go get what I need. I'm careful, you see.

However, there have been rare days when I've really, really needed something and didn't have the time to even reach for the lip gloss. I've gone to Wal-Mart in my PJ's, or in clothes that I have pulled out of the hamper, with crazy hair and no makeup. These are the days that worry me.

As careful as I am about not looking homeless, even when going to Wal-Mart, I've got this fear that one day, when I'm in the middle of some crisis when I need something badly enough that I have abandoned all pretenses of civilized behavior, someone is going to take my picture and I'm going to end up on People of Wal-Mart.

RANDOM ACTS OF...YOU KNOW

1) The weather is going insane up here right now! It was supposed to be cloudy and 50 degrees today, but it's currently snowing and sleeting on us right now. I'm glad we brought the dogs back in this morning. Maybe it will warm up a bit by the end of the day. I hope so! I like snow and everything, but I'd rather like snow from the comfort of my house, and not from my office.

2) Well, I managed to embarrass myself yesterday. I was supposed to sing during the morning services, and I picked a song I've sung at least once a year (sometimes more) for the past 17 years. Needless to say, I know this song inside and out. I also had a bad headache before the services started, so I took the medicine that I had in my purse, Excedrine. I timed it quite badly, because the caffeine kicked in right before I stepped on the stage and my hands started shaking really badly. I think it was because I hadn't eaten anything that morning, but whatever it was, it was bad. I was so hyped up that I forgot words to the song halfway through! I managed to cover it up and keep going, but I was so embarrassed. :( I am never singing in public again! Well, at least I'll avoid caffeine before I sing. *shame*

3) Steve broke the internet last week at work! OK, so it wasn't the whole internet, but his company lost a file server and their e-mail. I didn't see him for almost 3 days (wed-fri) because he was at work with one of the guys from St. Louis trying to reinstall everything. Unfortunately, the reinstall failed twice, and each time it took anywhere from 8 - 11 hours to even get to the point where it would fail. So, lots of fun last week. It was very quiet at my house. Luckily, at the 11th hour, they managed to fix the issues! Hooray for Geeks!

4) I watched about 20 minutes of the Super Bowl so that I could see the commercials last night. I didn't see many of them, but the ones I did see made me wonder exactly what sort of demographic they were trying to reach. If I am to assume that answer, according to the commercials, the Super Bowl is watched by men who are completely owned by their wives and/or significant other, who apparently have no testicles that they can call their own, and who don't wear pants. Hmmmm. I watched the Puppy Bowl instead. :)

5) Speaking of the Puppy Bowl, I think that the kitten half time show must have emotionally scarred me or something. I don't remember what I was dreaming about, but Steve woke me up because he was laughing hysterically. I asked him what happened, and he said that I was talking in my sleep and had said "I was sorry, that it was because we were using the first one I found. Then I said, “If I had found a bag full of a thousand kittens, we wouldn’t be doing this. We would be separating kittens.” I have NOOOOOOOOO idea what that was all about. :)

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!!

Ahhhh, Lost. Nobody understands our love.

OK, well, that's not entirely true. Quite a few people understand it, but that doesn't make it any less special! Right? RIGHT?! :)

No, I'm not crazy. Lost came back for it's final season last night and the opening show was AWESOME! One part of me feels as if I should be ashamed for being this into a television show, and the other part of me just told the first part to shut up and go sit in a corner. There were so many people who originally died earlier in the seasons back for the first show. Granted, they had very limited cameo roles, but at least I got to see "Chaaaaalie' again. I love that little hobbit.

Anyways, it was definitely worth the long wait and I'm excited to see what is going to happen!

I'm also listening to the audio novel of the book "Columbine" by Dave Cullen. I kind of picked it out by chance when I was browsing the audio book site I have a subscription with. It's a book about the school massacre and some of it is very hard to listen to, but it's quite fascinating. It's more of a very detailed analysis of the event, the killers, the victims and such than just a retelling of what happened. I was unaware that a lot of what we were told through the media wasn't true. I also did some searching on the web so that I could have faces to go with the names I was hearing and found a site dedicated to what happened. It, also, is quite detailed and gives a lot of details about the people involved. Some of it is just heartbreaking. I don't know if I can say I'm enjoying it exactly, but it is very interesting.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

(I'm beginning to think I should rename my blog that.)

1) Last week I picked up a travel sized bottle of a shampoo I'd never heard of. BioSilk or something like that. I like to try new stuff, so why not, right? The shampoo is amazing. It must be made with unicorn tears and mermaid scales or something because it does things that shouldn't be possible with coarse, heavy, stick-straight hair like mine. I have more bad hair days than good these days (which is why I've started wearing hats more often) so I decided to go and buy a whole bottle of the miracle shampoo! When I found it on a shelf, a mid-sized bottle cost about $42. FOURTY-TWO DOLLARS! Now I know for certain that it's made from unicorn tears and mermaid scales because I can't imagine any earthly ingredients that could justify shampoo costing that much. However, after seeing my hair this morning, I'm tempted. So help me, I'm tempted...

2) The two best songs to listen to while working out are: Jai Ho, from the Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack and Rubberneckin' (Paul Oakenfold Remix), which I got from the Fred Clause Soundtrack. Worst Songs: Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy, by Big & Rich (I think) and So Long & Thanks for All the Fish, from the most recent Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy movie. Just FYI.

3) I was listening to the Rubberneckin' song when I wrote #3, and I had to stop and chair dance. It's just THAT good. Now I'm listening to my theme song. Good stuff.

4) Steve's been watching old school Dr. Who episodes lately and I think it's slowly killing my will to live. I love the new Dr. Who, but the old ones are not so great. At least he's watching the Tom Baker ones, because I kind of like the Fourth Doctor. He's unsettling. I think it's mostly the bad special effects (seriously, bubble wrap looks like bubble wrap and isn't scary) that do it for me. Almost all of their monsters look like something I could make out of scraps from my office. If you watch closely, every time they need to show a rocket taking off, they show the footage of the Saturn V launching. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so familliar with it, I guess, but it's hard to believe that the Sontaran race has a NASA on their planet. Takes me right out of the story, it does. :)

5) So long and thanks for all the fish!

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING: SILVER LINING EDITION - This is because I realized that most of the things I was going to write about will make me sound like I'm whining if I don't further explain myself!

1) Well, I'm almost all taken care of with the eye doctor, I think. I got my new glasses and I'm on a trial run with the contacts and have had my second consult with them. I thought that my new glasses were making me nauseated because of the slight progression lenses that they have, but I've realized that it isn't that. One of the lenses is just wrong, or my eye is wrong, because I simply can't see well out of that lens. I thought maybe I just needed to wear them more often so that I could get used to them, but that does no good at all. In fact, wearing them makes me dizzy and sick, so driving while wearing them is not at all fun. I've got to call them next week and see if I can bring them back in to be checked and possibly have that lens replaced because for some reason the doctor who takes care of the contact lenses didn't let me order any replacements for the trial pair I have now, and if I have to go back to glasses full time, I'll need some that don't cause me to fall over or vomit! :) I'm not sure why she isn't letting me go ahead and order replacement contacts, because I'm not doing badly with them. My main problem is that my eyes get very, very dry. I'm not sure if it's just me or if it's because of allergies. Sometimes I can wear them all day and sometimes I can't. I also accidentally rubbed my eye the other day and folded one of my contacts over, but I wasn't where I could take it out and I had to wait about 5 minutes before fixing it. Dude, that hurt!

SILVER LINING: I can see, and I have the money and insurance necessary to take care of my eyesight. I never knew how much trouble bad vision can cause a person!

2) Yesterday, as I was leaving work, I slammed my fingertip in the metal and glass door of our office suite. Just my fingertip, and my Lord, it hurt so much! My fingers were cold to begin with, and for some reason, that made it hurt worse. I'm glad I was alone, because I danced around and jumped up and down after I did it. It was one of those things that hurt so badly that it made my stomach hurt. It even hurt to wash my hands later, and my finger is quite swollen up. I've got a lovely bruise under my fingernail, too. It's going to be fun making signs with a comically swollen and painful finger!

SILVER LINING: I have a job!

3) I accidentally punched my boss in the face with the edge of a large sheet of foam board. He snuck up on me! I certainly wouldn't have hit him had I known it was him, but I went into office ninja mode! I have sheets of foam board that are about 8 or 9 feet tall, and I had one leaning against my drafting table while I was working on something else. I had my earphones in, but I heard someone walk into my office. When I turned around, I didn't see anyone, but I knew someone was there. I leaned around my foam board and all I saw was someone's back because whoever it was had leaned around the far edge of the board to peek at me. I honestly don't know why the first reaction I had was to protect myself, but I slammed my hand against the closest edge of the board, which caused it to ram into the face of the person looking around it. This all happened in the space of about 5 seconds. I need you to understand that so that you don't think any of it was planned or even thought about, I just reacted. Luckily he didn't get mad at me. I am not sure why I am so skittish when people come up behind me. Maybe I was attacked by guerrilla fighters in a former life or something, but I have a hair trigger on my self preservation instinct. God help anyone who ever tries to sneak up and play "Guess Who!" with me. I'm likely to break their arm. :)

SILVER LINING: He didn't fire me! Yay!

4) Things are kind of crazy at work, still. I know in my last post I talked about how everyone gave me their sign requests all at once, but it hasn't tapered off much. I'm keeping up fairly well, though, but I'll snap if another person calls me to tell me that they need 60 of this or another 12 of that. Also, it's getting dangerous for me to drop signs off myself, because I get trapped with them until they figure out if they need anything else. One lady kept me in there while she perused her SENT folder to make sure she sent me something. I kept trying to leave, but she wouldn't let me! Right now I'm scoring and folding a bunch of name cards for the Big Wig Table. The name cards are completely unneeded, but someone decided at the last minute that we needed them. It's kind of fun seeing who the VIPs are, though. Hugh Downs will be there, and I found out that my former Kindergarten teacher is now married to Huntsville's mayor. This is really the only way I would know who will be there, because they don't ask me to help out with these events anymore since I flatly refused to ever wear a flight suit again. If they need me to point to the bathroom, I'm going to do it in a dress and heels.

SILVER LINING: I have a job that people believe I do well enough to ask for ridiculous things at the last minute and they have faith I can accomplish them. Also, I no longer have to wear a flight suit.

5) I'm up to 36 hats thus far! Some of these hats are for people I know, and the rest are a part of a project I'm working on that I don't want to talk about yet. I'm afraid that it'll just sound pretentious, and I'm afraid I'll jinx myself. All shall be revealed in time.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) At the time of this writing, I'm actually being a slacker.

After nearly a month of absolutely nothing-at-all being given for me to do at work, suddenly (and I'm serious about the suddenly) I've been slammed with work requests. I'm not sorry I've got the work to do, mainly because I'd begun to feel guilty about coming into work and just sitting here for 8 hours, but I'm just so very busy. I finally just had to stop what I was doing for a few minutes and eat/take a break from all of the cutting and gluing and inhaling adhesives and such. I'm going to end up with a graphic designers version of the Black Lung if I don't stop it with the glue soon. :P

2) Did you know there was a tornado last night? I sure didn't! I didn't know about it until it was over, which kind of stinks for me since I work in a glass cube on the top floor of a building! Granted, I did find out that it didn't pass right by, but I've been forced to go downstairs to safety because of tornadoes that were further away from us than the one last night. Security usually sends an e-mail if there are dangerous weather conditions or even possible dangerous weather conditions, because they are the only people who get to have a TV on at all times, but I got nothing from anyone last night. I was here all alone after hours trying to finish up someone's project, too. I'm just glad it didn't hit us directly. I'd hate to think someone was having to untangle bits of me from around the guide wires that support the Saturn I-B!

3) If you follow me on Twitter, you've gotten to hear a bit about my new experience with my contact lenses! So far so good. I still feel like I've got pieces of lint in my eyes all of the time, but at least it's getting more bearable. The first & second days, I had to take them out at work because my eyes were getting super dry from the heaters being cranked up, but I've been doing much better the last two days. I have a lot of trouble getting them in my eyes, which is annoying, but I figure with more practice that will get better. I have also noticed that since the vision in each of my eyes is so different, my eyes don't focus he same and so my pupils are different sizes. I look like I've had a stroke! I also find it odd that I can see without my glasses on. I catch myself still trying to push my non-existent glasses up my nose all of the time. I'm going to end up with a bruise on the bridge of my nose if I don't stop. I also got my mee-maw glasses! They are seriously very un-me. I am having a lot of trouble getting used to them because they have a very-very-very slight bi-focal progression towards the bottom that I haven't gotten used to yet, so they make me dizzy and nauseated when I wear them. I have run into walls and stumbled around because I haven't learned to focus with them yet. My boss is going to think I've been drinking during my lunch breaks. :(

4) I posted a question on Facebook the other day about whether or not it would be weird to send myself flowers. I got mixed answers, of course, and I think some of the people thought I was just sad because I don't get flowers sent to me! Heehee, that was not why at all. Because of some kind of mix-up over the holidays when a gift I ordered wasn't delivered, I was sent a "please don't stop being our customer" gift certificate to a website that sells all kinds of things, including bouquets of flowers. I thought to myself "Oh, flowers would be nice!" but I had second thoughts, hence my posting the question to my Facebook friends. I ultimately decided that sending myself a bouquet of flowers inched over into Crazy Cat Lady territory, so I didn't get them in the end. I'm just hoping that there is no stigma to sending one's self chocolate! :)

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) While I was at the gym this morning, toiling away on the elliptical machine in hopes of achieving that ever elusive "Iron Butt", a woman came over and began to get on the machine next to mine. This isn't an unusual happening, of course, but I got that "someone is watching me" feeling as soon as she came over. I looked over at her and she was looking up at me & pointing to the ceiling fans that run along the ceiling above the cardio machines. I had my earphones in, so I had to read her lips, but she was asking me "Do you mind if I turn that off?" I was almost done with my workout, so I told her it was fine, but it struck me as odd. I don't know how many of you have ever been on an elliptical machine, but a workout on one can get pretty hot and sweaty. In fact, I use the same machine every time I'm there because it's situated in a vortex of air conditioning and ceiling fan air, which keeps me from passing out when I get hot (because, let's face it, I'm a major pansy.) The fans turned off and she came back over and began using the machine. I had just enough time left in my workout to realize how very much I wished she hadn't turned off the fans. In fact, I had just enough time left in my workout to decide I hated that woman a great deal for turning it off. I mean, God forbid you get a bit CHILLY while doing cardio work, lady! I finally got done, and on my way out I realized who that lady was. She is the one Steve and I call Mrs. Valdez. She's the lady who always does her workouts with a cup of coffee! While that seems very gross to me, I always assumed it had something to do with needing the caffeine. Now I realize it's because the very core of her being is made of ice and she needs it to keep her from freezing to a weight machine. Geez.

2) I got to have dinner with my very favorite Kenny on Tuesday! Yay! I don't think I'd seen him since his wedding last June, so I was very glad to see him again. He's been very busy doing smart stuff and working on his PhD. He was up on a quick visit to see his family and took some time to visit with friends. I thought he had decided to stand me up for a while, though, because he was visiting another friend of his and lost track of time. I was almost about to leave the restaurant and go home with wounded feelings when I got a message letting me know he was on his way. We had a lot of fun! Well, I did, anyways, and I choose to believe that he did too. If he tells me any differently then I'll stick my fingers in my ears and yell "LALALALALALALALA!" to drown him out. He also brought me chocolate, which makes him my favorite person of the week, possibly of the year, but it's still a bit early to make that call. :) Even with all of my fun, I eventually had to let him go back home to his lovely wife. He and I had talked for a while outside in the cold before leaving (we closed down the Atlanta Bread Company, because we are rock stars) and my feet ended up getting so cold that I couldn't properly feel them until the next morning. I'm going to have to invest in a pair of stylish Eskimo boots or something.

3) I know I shouldn't say this, because it seems kind of hateful, but we have a custodian here that creeps me right the hell out. He's nice and always very friendly, but there is a certain something about him that gives me the heebs. I've gotten to where, if I hear him coming down the hall, I take my small trash can out from under my desk and sit it across the room so that he doesn't have to walk behind my desk. Honestly, he's never done anything to me and I have no real reason to be creeped out by the man, but something about him makes me think he's got body parts in his refrigerator.

4) Mr. Lee gave me Miss Rhonda's Kitchen Aid stand mixer. She didn't get to use it much before she got sick, and he didn't know how to use it, so now it is at my house. I'm excited about it, because I've wanted one for a while, but they are kind of pricey and I couldn't talk myself into spending the money on one. I wish I could have had it a couple of weeks ago when I was making cookies. I accidentally picked a bowl that was too small to mix up my dough, and when I put the hand mixer in to mix things up, batter went everywhere. No, seriously, dough flung everywhere - my counters, my cabinets, my sink, my flour and sugar canisters and even my own self had splatters of cookie dough all over them. But I digress. I'm going to find some time and use the heck out of that mixer! Am I sad for being excited about a kitchen appliance?

5) I've made 25 hats thus far! That's not very close to my goal, but I'm proud. I'm hoping to be able to make a photo montage so you can see all of them sometime. Some of them I'm very proud of and some are very plain, but they are all made by me! I need to made a wider variety so that I don't get bored, but some of them take forever to make. Eh, we'll see.

6) Have a great weekend!

Sorry for yet another YouTube video posting, but I had to. HAD. TO. This is one of the most cringe-worthy, icky, and hilarious things I've seen in a while. Oy.



Also (and I can't be 100% sure) I think I saw one of my sister's high school boyfriends in this video. If it wasn't him, it was at least his mullet.

Also this. Just Because:

I think Beyonce knew this would happen. :)



Also, why does this song make me want to River Dance?

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) I finally got my Christmas present from Steve last Saturday! No, he didn't wait that long to get me one, but the thing had to be ordered and it took over a month to be shipped! He bought me The Most Comfortable Chair In The Universe (tm). Actually, that is not the brand name or anything, but it is a freakishly comfortable recliner that we found while helping Anthony pick out some furniture over the summer. In fact, I tried to talk Anthony into buying one of these recliners for his new place so that I could sneak in and sit in it when he wasn't home. Alas, he picked a different kind. He chose...poorly. ;) My new chair is big, poofy, and possibly stuffed with puppies. I love it. I named it Brutus, because it looks kind of manly. See, years ago, I bought Steve a recliner as a birthday gift and I'm not really allowed to sit in it. Well, I'm allowed to sit in it as long as Steve doesn't want to sit in it. After calling him a myriad of names for not sharing the chair and explaining how it makes Jesus mad when we don't share, I guess he thought it would be easier if I had a comfy seat of my own. Yay! Of course, now this means we have to get rid of the couch because we won't have room for it when the piano comes to live with us. I really wish my brother-in-law would change his mind about taking the piano, but it's either me take it or they sell it, and my sister doesn't want to sell it. *sigh*

2) I had to go to the eye doctor the other day and order a new pair of glasses. I like the ones I have, but stupid me thought that I had a spot of glue on one of the lenses and while trying to scratch it off I managed to remove a large section of anti-glare coating. It's right in my natural line of sight, too, so I had to get new ones. My new frames are Mee-Maw looking ones, too! I was too impatient to leave the place to sit there and try on frames for an hour, so I accepted the ones they said looked the best on me. They have pink leopard print on the ear pieces, and a big gold buckle looking thing on the left side. Tres sexy, no? All I need now is one of those beaded necklace thingies that hold my glasses around my neck so that I don't lose them. Luckily, I can make one of my own to match! :) I'm also going in to be fitted for contacts at the end of the month, so hopefully that will work out. I just hope that I can stand to keep them in my eyes. I really want to stop wearing glasses all of the time. One problem, though. I have worn glasses since I was 15, so when I'm not wearing them, I feel like I have too much face showing. Anyways, something interesting about my visit, is that the doctor told me that my prescription in my current glasses is actually too strong! Get out! Apparently eye strain caused the major part of my vision problems, and I guess not having to strain so much has helped my eyes to heal a bit. If this keeps up, by the time I'm 80, I'll have X-Ray vision! :)

3) Butler and Bear did not like staying inside almost all of last week, but we couldn't leave them out because it was so cold. We tried letting them out of their kennels while we were at home, and that would be OK for a while, but them Bear would start herding Butler into his kennel and Butler started growling, and we had to put them both back to bed so that they didn't get into a Doggie Death Cage Match in the living room. I felt sorry for them, but we've been able to leave them out longer during the days since Saturday, so hopefully they will get out their cabin fever. Poor puppies!

4) I recently bought some "Organic Pomegranate-White-Tea Gummy Pandas" and they are just as pretentious as they sound. However, they are quite delicious, so pretentious or not, I'm going to buy them again if I can find them. Yum!

5) Here is a neato website for those of you who might be interested: Four Pounds Flour is a blog that is all about historic cooking. This woman (from New York, I believe) re-creates all kinds of antique recipes and explains ingredients and techniques. It's quite fascinating. You wouldn't think that recipes from one or two hundred years ago would be very different from what we have today, but there are some surprising things I've learned. If you are interested, take a look!

GO FOOTBALL!

I watched a football game last night! The BCS Championship game, to be exact! Could someone tell me was BCS stands for? I'd appreciate it.

Anyways, here are my thoughts about what I saw:

1) It was actually a lot of fun to watch a game with so much at stake!

2) I was proud our state was so nicely represented and that no one got in a fight or punched a referee. :) I'm also hoping that the streaker wasn't from Alabama.

3) The national anthem was kind of weird. Josh Groban sang, Flea (yes, that Flea) played a guitar and there was a Mariachi or Polka band playing back up. It was...interesting.

4) Alabama's coach needs to buy shirts his size. No one but buff gay guys at techno clubs should wear shirts that tight.

5) I felt so sorry for the Texas quarterback when he got hurt so early in the game, but his backup guy kicked some serious butt. He was awesome for just being a freshman! I'm sure we'll hear more about him in the future. Also, the starting quarterback seemed to be a really upstanding kid. I wished he hadn't cried, though. Bless his heart.

6) Was it really necessary for the commentators to keep talking about how Mark Ingram's dad was watching from prison? I mean, come on!

7) Did Saban get a concussion from the Gatorate cooler? It looked like he got beaned pretty hard with it. Also, he should think about a different color shirt or different color Gatorade if he's going to coach championship games. Just saying.

8) Don't tell my sister, but I've just realized that I've been calling the coach " Coach Shula" since last night. I had to go back and change the above statement to the right name. To be fair, wasn't there a coach Shula at one point? Yes, I heart football.

LINKIES!

OK, so I'm stuck at home sick and bored today. I thought I'd share a few websites I'd found while wondering the interwebs. My apologies if you've already seen these!

*Nice Cage as Everyone - This is both creepy, weird and fascinating. Nic Cage is also creepy and weird, but not really that fascinating. PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX...

*Friends of Irony - Even though I'm still not sure of the real definition of irony. Stupid Alainis song screwed me up for life on that one.

*Oddly Specific - This one appeals to me because I'm a sign maker. I'm fairly certain a lot of these are Photoshopped, but the ones that are real are funny!

*Epic Win FTW! - Because who doesn't need some epic win in their lives?

*Clients From Hell - A tumblr site for artists, graphic designers, or anyone else that has to put up with the stupidity of people who have no idea what they are doing.

*STFU, Parents - I apologize to the wonderful people I know who are parents, but this site is funny to people who don't have kids. Fortunately, I don't know many people who behave like these people do.

OK, so it's the new year, and I have some resolutions.

Well, I suppose they are considered resolutions, since I waited until the beginning of the year to begin them, but I do that more out of some kind of OCD issue than because it was the new year. I also tend to put things off until Mondays so that I don't start new things in the middle of the week. It just balances things better. Shut up, I can't help it. It's just how it works.

Don't worry, I'm not going to list them here. I don't even have a list. I don't even really have sharply defined goals. Huh. Anyways, what do you care what I want to accomplish this year? Geez.

So, what is the purpose of this post? There really isn't one. I'm just trying to look busy. There are guys here taking inventory and I don't want them to think I'm lazy.

Have a nice day!

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) SIGH. I watched the last episode of Doctor Who with David Tennant as the Doctor. He's a little bit dreamy and I'll miss his version of the Doctor a lot. I'm not even going to lie about it: I cried a bit when he finally regenerated. Tennant has been my favorite thus far, and the new guy looks a little too much like Marty McFly's dad from Back to the Future! After it was over, Steve got inspired and turned an old clock of ours into a display case for our Doctor figures. See, it's clever because...clock...Timelords...get it? Eh, what do you know anyhow! :)

2) I actually had my very first paid freelance design job today! Woo-Hoo! It was for a graphic to be put on a Fantasy Football trophy! Yay! I hope he actually liked what I came up with. He did some editing to my original design, as he should have, but he was very apologetic about changing anything. I'd hate to think he let something slide because he's afraid he'd hurt my feelings. Do I come across as that delicate?

3) I overheard something at a restaurant that I'd like to address, if you'll give me the luxury of a Monday-mini-rant! I can? OK!

I am lucky to live in a town that is constantly changing and adding new people from all over the world. Some new people come in through the military, others through government contract work, and some through NASA. The point to what I'm trying to say is that there are a lot of people from AWAY that live here now. Usually, this is a great thing. However, because we get so many transplants into our town, we also get our share of the "transplant whiners." These are the people who moved here out here because they HAD to. They don't want to be here and they miss their old homes and towns. I can understand that completely, because I've had to move before when I didn't really want to and when you leave a place, you tend to think of it fondly. However, the "Transplant Whiners" are the folks who just sit around, usually in public, and talk about how lame Huntsville is. How much it sucks because it doesn't have a good pro sports team, or this particular restaurant, or the weather is bad, and there is NOTHING to do, or (and this is my favorite) how stupid all of the locals are because they are all rednecks. If you were to listen to these guys, you'd think we were all a bunch of inbred, ignorant, toothless yokels who sit around whittling on our front porches as we spit tobacco juice into the dust. You know what, we get it. You'd rather be back in Boston, New York, Houston or wherever. WE GET IT!!! Huntsville will never be those places, of course, but it isn't a bad place to live at all. It may not be the "social and cultural mecca" these people left behind, but it has a lot going for it, especially now that things are being built up and rejuvenated. These whiners never actually take the effort to actually go out and look for anything that they can enjoy about the town, because they are too busy whining about what it doesn't have. But I digress...

Anyways, while waiting on our table, I overheard someone at a restaurant start talking about how boring Huntsville was, how lame, how SOUTHERN (gasp!) it all was, and a woman (who wasn't with that person's party) turned around, looked him in the eye and told him that if he felt that way, he could GTFO! Go, lady! I silently cheered for her as she went on to say that her town didn't need people like him in it, and if he hated it so much here, he needed to leave because no one here would have any use for him! Man, I wish I had been brave enough to say that, but even so, I'm glad someone said it. I wonder if the whiners realize that they don't so much come across as too good and cultured for the place as much as they sound like pretentious assholes. Somehow I doubt it. :)

4) We didn't do anything of interest on New Year's Eve this year. We rarely do anymore, really. Steve and I played Lego Star Wars (until I got bored and bailed on him) and I made another hat! I did have one glass of champagne to ring in the new year, but then I was reminded why I don't drink much anymore. My feet started to tingle and I got really woozy. My alcohol tolerance has gotten even lower, if one glass did all that. I'm just glad it didn't get so bad that I started emailing people things that didn't make sense! You should be glad too!

5) It is freezing up in my office today, even with my space heater going full blast. I really wish my windows were insulated!

6) I forgot how long it had been since I'd visited the gym and I wangled my knee while using an elliptical machine today. It hurts! I had to sit down in the floor this morning to do something and I couldn't get back up on my own! Boo, I've got old lady knees!

7) In case you were wondering, the epic journey of the ham has finally ended. Only after eating a majority of it, I found out we could freeze some of it, which I did, and the rest went to the dogs. Butler got the bone and had so much fun gnawing on it. Any time Bear would come around, Butler would gently pick it up and move a little further away. It was funny! I certainly thought Bear would have gotten it away from Butler easily, but there must have been something scary in Butler's eyes, because Bear never got it from him. I'm secretly proud that Butler stood up for himself. Finally! :)

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING: CHRISTMAS EDITION

1) We had a wonderful Christmas, thanks for asking! It was busy, busy, busy. Our Christmases always begin with Steve's birthday on the 23rd, where we go to Mr. Lee's house and have dinner with him and Grandma. Dinner was delicious, as usual, and we also got to have some of Grandma's dried apple cake. OMG, it's good. If I thought I could get her to write down the recipe instead of trying to just tell it to me, I'd make it for you sometime. It is what fruitcake dreams it could be! :)

2) Christmas Eve was nice and mellow for us this year. We didn't have much to do in the morning except for getting a few last minute things wrapped up, so we spent our morning playing Lego Star Wars. We're on a mission to finish the game with as many achievements completed as possible. That will probably not make sense to anyone who has never played the games, but it takes a LONG time to do. It's fun, though. :) We were going to have official Christmas dinner with Mr. Lee and Grandma that night, so we packed up our gifts and made one last run to Costco for last minute supplies and one more gift. It was much quieter in there the day before Christmas, so we got in and out pretty fast. Dinner with the Pratts was nice and quiet, and we got to open our gifts. Grandma made out like a bandit! :) I love seeing her face when she opens gifts, because she loves everything she gets. We got her a leopard-print Snuggie, among other things, this year and she was excited about getting to use it! We got a lot of lovely things, but I think my favorite was that Mr. Lee handed me a small bag and said "This is from Rhonda." (That's Steve's late mother, if you don't already know that.) He gave me 5 pairs of absolutely beautiful Native American made earrings that had belonged to her. Since they traveled out west so much, she had a lot of turquoise Native American jewelry, so it meant a lot to me that he passed those down to me. We got all verklempt, but made it through just fine. :) The weather was starting to get freaky, so Steve and I had to leave earlier than we normally would have so that we wouldn't get caught in any bad weather. On our way out, the wind was blowing so hard that it knocked everything out of my hands! Luckily, we found everything before it blew away. Geez, the wind was strong. Luckily we made it home before the rain had started, but the wind rocked my poor car almost to pieces before we got there.

3) Christmas morning was a bit busier than it had any right to be, because I had not wrapped my family's gifts yet. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I hate wrapping gifts. I'm not good at it and it takes forever! However, I sat down and began wrapping things up...until I realized I didn't have any more wrapping paper. Oops. I tend to buy a lot of it every couple of years and just use it till it's gone, but I hadn't bought any for the last two years and apparently the rolls I thought I still had were only small pieces, just big enough to cover the rolls they were on! So, I got creative and wrapped things the best way I could. We found enough non-Christmas paper and tissue paper to finish things up. I guess I should be glad most of the gifts we bought were small! :) So, after that I invented a holiday snack that included ham, so as to get rid of even more of the ham we still had, and we went to my mom's house. Once we got there, my mother's husband's family had already arrived, so we sat around, ate hugely of the snacks my mom had made, and talked until my sister and her family got there. We had a lovely (and loud, don't forget loud) day with my family. We laughed a lot and it was good to see my mom. I don't see her as much as I would like, but since she lives in another county, we are not out that way very much. We had a lot of fun! I also got to save Steve the hassle of working on electronics (which he doesn't like to do when he's on a social, family visit) and act as First Tier I.T. for my nephew and brother-in-law because they couldn't figure out how to get a PSP Go (?) working and loaded with programs. I R.T.F.M. and got the game loaded. Now my nephew thinks I'm "technological." I told him that his dad was just having an I.D.10.T issue with the computer, so it wasn't any big deal. :) *evil grin* When we left my mother's house, we went back to Mr. Lee's so that we could open our stockings and watch the terrible, terrible movies that Steve and Grandma insist on seeing every year. Fortunately, for me at least, there was a problem with Steve's DVD, so we only had to suffer through about an hour of "Babes in Toyland" and didn't have to see "Christmas Comes to Willow Creek" (patooie) at all! Huzzah! I ignored that hour by making a hat, so it wasn't time wasted, at least. :) We finished the evening by watching the old version of "The Hound of the Baskervilles." All in all, it was a great day.

4) I hope everyone out there had a great holiday! If you couldn't have a great one, I at least hope you had a good one with something nice to remember about this year. I know it isn't always easy for everyone during this time of year, but as long as you can try and forget your troubles and problems with family and/or friends for one day, it can't be all bad, right? Right? No, seriously, someone tell me I'm right or all of my good, post-holiday feelings are going to implode... :)

5) I have other things to talk about, but I'll leave that for later. It's after 9:30 and no one else in my office has shown up. You know what that means, right? NO PANTS MONDAY! WOOOO! I've got to get started on that! :)

OH, THE HUMANITY....

When I came home from work last Thursday, I noticed a large box on our front stoop. I love when I see boxes on our front stoop, because it either means that something I've ordered had been delivered or that someone has sent a present! (Well, it can also mean that Steve got ANOTHER Han Solo figure he found on Ebay, but I'm going to ignore that fact for the moment.) Anyways, I hadn't ordered anything, so it must have meant it was a present! Yay!

When I retrieved the box, I noticed that it had Steve's name on it (but was much too big to be a Han Solo) so I just sat it on the ottoman in the living room until he could get home from work and open it. Of course, after about half an hour I got curious, and I noticed that it was a box from the Honey Baked Ham place and it was from his boss! Nice! We'd never been mailed meat before! So I figured that if there was meat in the box I needed to go ahead and open it up and put whatever we were sent into the fridge. I removed the (thankfully) still frozen ham and placed it into the refrigerator to thaw.

I'll be honest here and let you know that I didn't pay much attention to the ham, I just put it away. I promise that this is important. Remember it for later.

I thought it was incredibly nice for Steve's boss to send us such a nice gift. Had I known the man better (and not accidentally snubbed him at Steve's Christmas party a couple of weeks ago) I would really have liked to send him a thank you note that happened to mention we were Jewish...but I figured I'd get to know him a bit better before I joked on him about anything. You know, just in case he isn't a very jolly sort of fellow. It usually takes a bit before some people can appreciate my sense of humor, anyways and I don't want to get Steve fired. :)

OK, so Saturday rolls around and I figure that the ham had time to thaw, so Steve and I were going to make sandwiches for lunch out of it. I pulled it out of the ham, which was still vacuum (that's a weird word to type, isn't it? It doesn't look right.) sealed inside it's gold foil packaging. I managed to cut the foil open and I turned the ham out onto a platter. What I had failed to notice when I initially removed the ham from its packing box on Thursday was that the ham was huge. The foil packaging was quite a bit larger than the ham itself, so it seemed much smaller then. I probably should have noticed that the ham was heavy, but I just figured that since it was frozen, it was heavier than normal. Oy. The ham was huge, and now the ham had thawed out. Therefore, we are now in a situation where we have to eat them ham before it goes bad. We have to eat it before it goes bad during a week that is notorious for people shoving food down our faces at various Christmas and other family events. Urg, I feel full just typing that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful about getting this ham, it is delicious and I'm glad we got it. Also, if having too much food is a problem, then things aren't that bad at all, obviously. However, we've just been eating so. much. ham. Had I realized just how big it was to begin with, I would have put it in the freezer and saved it until after the new year or something! I'm also determined that I'm not going to let this ham go to waste! It was my own stupid Kelly Fail and I will not let it ruin this nice gift we got. I will eat as much of it as I can in as many ways as I can! I am determined! I am also full of ham. So very full of ham...

Anyways, so does anyone got any recipes that include ham that you'd like to send me? Please?

So. Much. Ham.

I'm avoiding work right now because my boss peeved me off and is making my working life irritating right now. More on that another time though, because I stole a meme from Lauren!

Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
Well, it depends on whether or not anyone had their eyes open at my wedding. :)

When you’re walking, do you stop to drink?
Only if I have to turn the cup/can/ bottle up to get the very last of what is in there.

Do you believe that if you want something badly enough, you’ll get it?
Noooooooooooooooo. If that was the case my life would be very different!

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
Indeed. Several someones. Not at the same time. Pervert!

Ever sneak out of your house?
Not after seeing my sister get her ass whooped for sneaking out. I was too scared!

What did you do today?
Thus far: Got up, looked on the interwebs, got ready for work, done some of my work, waited for some of my work to be approved. My life is a carnival.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Probably not. I used to want one because not many people had them and I thought they were cool. Now everyone has them and they aren't as cool as they used to be. I may change my mind, though!

What was the last thing you ate?
2 chocolate chip cookies from my lunch box!

Are you a morning person or a night person?
I change up every few days!

Do you snore?
Steve says I do, but I think he's a LIAR-FACE!

Do you like to spend time with people?
Well, it depends on the people, really. Some people make me very uncomfortable!

Are you hungry?
Not anymore. I just ate lunch.

Are you a forgiving person?
I try to be. I'm probably too forgiving at times.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
Ew, I'm not sure.

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?

My statue of Hurley.

Do you want a relationship right now?
It would depend on what type of relationship, I suppose.

What are you about to do?
Print some stuff.

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn’t?
Once. It was weird seeing her come to school the next day. Apparently another girl with her name had died, so...honest mistake.

If you could be a superhero what would you want to do?
Control people's dreams, or travel in time at will. I'd probably be more of a super villain.

Your name plus “ness”?
Kellyness

Three feelings at the moment?
Sleepy, irritated, cold

Done anything you regret so far in life?
Of course

Are you listening to anything?
Space heater, Under the Dome audio novel.

Where are you right now?
My office.

What are you scared of?

The Dark, Roaches, Being abandoned and lonely, being a burden to anyone.

Last movie you watched?
Part of Mekenna's Gold

Last song you sang out loud?
Walking In a Winter Wonderland

Are you thinking of someone right now?
Nope

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
A lady from Guest Services

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
Porn. Nah, kidding. An antique crochet pattern.

Have you changed much this year?
None on the outside, much on the inside.

Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
Wings Restaurant

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes! Mostly Kelley Martin, but I've also had someone tell me I looked like Tracey Ullman. Weird.

Do you speak any other language?
I'm fluent in chollo and bitch.

Do you dress for style or comfort?
It depends on where I'm going and how much cleavage needs to show.

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
No, I was the designated get-people-back-to-the-boat person while in Mexico.

Favorite color(s)?
Blue

What are you looking forward to this summer?
Nothing at all. I rarely do that anymore.

Last time you smiled?
...and meant it? 8:14 am this morning.

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
A private island with a fully stocked little bungalow and a hammock between two trees that overlooked the beach. Not much, you see.

Oh, and world peace! :)

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) We had the Christmas cantata yesterday, and you'll never believe who had a solo. No, it wasn't me, it was Steve! Steve did very well singing the male solo in "More Than Wonderful", which isn't exactly a Christmas song, but it was arranged to fit into the cantata. I wish I had had a free hand to catch a video of him singing so you guys could hear him, but I was running the sound and microphones and couldn't get to my phone in time. He rarely talks, but be sang a solo. Will wonders never cease? Anyways, the whole cantata was really good and everyone sounded great! :)

2) I'm so tired! In fact, I've been extremely tired almost every day for over a month, but I can't figure out why. My doc did blood tests and everything, but nothing showed up. I suppose I should be grateful for that, but I was hoping that he could tell me something that would help. Silver lining, though, is that it definitely isn't anything serious, so I can be glad about that! Yay. Maybe I'm just lazy and am CONFUSING it with being tired. That is probably it!

3) As part of our Christmas, Steve and I got ourselves a Wii Fit and we've had a lot of fun playing with it. When we first set it up, we had to enter our vital statistics into the Fit program so that it can keep up with any progress we make. While I was doing that, the board started acting all weird and not responding to what I was doing. I thought, "Great, I'm so overweight that I've killed it!" Turned out that I just had the board turned around backwards. Oops. Another thing is that it checks your balance while you are setting up your file, and it asked me if I had trouble walking and not falling down. Not in those words, of course, but still... How did it know I'm clumsy? SKYNET! SKYNET!!! We don't have any extra games except what came with the system, but those are a lot of fun, too. I was skeptical about how useful, exercise wise, the actual Fit stuff would be, but surprisingly they will give you a workout. Through playing the games, I've found out that I have no rhythm and I can't follow directions worth a darn, but I am having fun. The only problem I have with the system is that it taunts you. Yes, TAUNTS you. If you don't get on the thing and at least weigh everyday, it says little snarky comments to you about it. It even knows what time it is, so if you get on the board after midnight, it tells you that you should be sleeping! I haven't tried all of the games yet, but so far my favorites are Tennis and Kung Fu. I'm not good at either one, but I don't care. :)

4) When we went to the gym this morning, I got to name a new guy! He's IRON GRANDPA! Seriously, he's old but ripped. I'd hate to see what he does to the kids that won't get off of his lawn!

5) The greatest Christmas song ever? O Holy Night.

6) I don't want to wrap presents. I don't like wrapping presents! I'm not good at it!

Wow, it's been a while! Not that there are many of you who come and read my humble little blog, but I apologize if you have clicked the link in vain. I've just been kind of blah for the past couple of weeks and it hasn't been conducive to blogging. If you don't mind, I will go ahead and get started by writing about:

THANKSMAS '09!! (Say that with a deep and reverberating voice to get the right vibe.)

Thanksmas was really wonderful this year! We all had a lot of fun.

Steve and I rode out to Georgia with Mr. Lee that Wednesday morning, making a brief stop in Boaz to visit one of the outlet shops. Steve really likes Bass shoes and has stopped by the outlet store for the past few years to pick up a pair whenever he needs them. Unfortunately, the Bass outlet had closed, so I took it upon myself to make sure we didn't waste a trip by visiting the GAP outlet! You know, for morale. :) I spent the rest of the trip crocheting a hat, which made time go quickly, and we made it safely to Aunt Brenda and Uncle Garry's house. We talked, visited with all of the cousins and their offspring, ate and had a great time.

Thanksgiving day, Brenda and I cooked all morning long. We really didn't mean to do it it that way, because we actually weren't going to eat until much later on in the day. In our attempt to do a lot of the prep work in advance, we somehow ended up actually just making everything we were going to eat instead! It was all delicious, of course. :) I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't get to taste our dressing, because it is awesome! The whole family came over and we had a great time talking and eating. I think I ate way too much. I feel kind of bad, because when I went to sit on the couch after dinner, I sort of just leaned over and fell asleep without meaning to! I don't think I got to tell anyone goodbye or anything! Sorry, guys. I was in a turkey coma or something!

Friday was super packed and we started it all when we had the "Mas" portion of Thanksmas by having brunch at Kristin and Greg's house! They always have their house decorated so lovely, and all of the food was excellent (I snagged the French Toast recipe from Kristin, wheeee!) and afterward, we all gathered around the tree and exchanged our gifts! We got a lot of lovely things, and had fun watching the kids playing with their new toys. After visiting for a while, we headed back to make sure we were in front of the TV for the Iron Bowl! Well, OK, honestly, I took a nap until the last quarter, but I did watch that last quarter! Even though I normally don't care who wins, I was glad Alabama won this time simply because I didn't want to hear the Auburn fans I work with gloating. I apologize to my normal Auburn fan friends who wouldn't have been obnoxious about the win (or would you? Hmm. I choose to believe that you wouldn't have.) but if I had to listen to this one guy I know who takes football WAY too seriously, I'm afraid I would have beaten him to death with one of my fake Ugg boots. Luckily, the only obnoxious Alabama fan I would have had to deal with is my sister, and I can always delete her gloating from my inbox. After that (lucky & last second) win, Steve and I drove down the road a piece to visit Amy and Jon. They had wanted us to play on their Wii system, which we had never done before. It was So. Much. Fun. If you don't have a Wii, go out and buy one immediately! We bowled, we dueled with light sabers, and we played Mario Cart! Greg had stopped by and so he played along with us! I think we ended up staying out there until about 1:30 that next morning, but it was worth staying up late for. We had a really great time.

Saturday was a more mellow day. We cooked, visited, watched television, talked, and all of those "winding down after a holiday" things that people do. I got to have the epitome of after thanksgiving meals, the turkey sandwich, and we played games and visited until that evening. Then we watched the Georgia/Georgia Tech game, since the family are big UGA fans. Go dawgs, right? :)

Sunday we had breakfast and talked for a while before heading home. It was a wonderful holiday visit, and I hope we get to have many more just like it!