RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) Something has occurred to me that seems very strange in a way that I don't think has ever crossed my mind before. 

We, as relatively normal, everyday people all have secrets. Not necessarily bad ones, just private stuff we don't talk about. Some keep more to themselves than others, obviously, and depending on who you are or what has been going on in your life, those things can either be silly or serious.

But what I think is weird, is that if you were to decide to tell someone something that you've never mentioned before, especially one of your very closest guarded secrets, they might think you were crazy, or even lying about it because those secrets can also be very weird.

Maybe only my secrets are weird. All I know is that I can never tell anyone else my very secretest of secrets, because I don't think anyone would believe me.

2) I'm wrestling with a situation.

It's pretty well known around where I work that the people who live in the neighborhood don't have very much. A lot of them have come to or called us asking for us to give them money. Our former pastor would occasionally let people come to the church and do work, and pay them minimum wage per hour for what they did, but anytime we gave money out to help people, word would get out and we'd be slammed with people and their sob stories asking us to pay for rent/bills/gas/whatever else they wanted money for. We finally had to refuse to give anyone cash, and went to a grocery gift card system so that we could be fairly certain the money they needed for food, actually went to purchase food.

I could write examples of the people who've taken advantage of our good will, but I don't want anyone to think I'm just that cynical about people needing help. I know there are people who are in need, and as a church, a lot of people think it's our job to bail people out of their problems.

See, the thing is...we can't afford to do that for everyone who calls and asks for help. But, if we do it for one person, we'd have to do it for everyone. We don't have the resources to pay for rent, phones, food, hotels, and things like that for everyone who asks. It has been that way for the past few years, and unless we get a huge windfall of money, we probably will never be able to do that.

BUT...here is the quandary.  This morning I was asked if I would personally give someone a certain amount of money. This person is a kid our church and they need to pay a cell phone bill that they will not be able to pay otherwise. This particular kid (teenager, I guess, but not old enough to get a job) has very little in life. Terrible home situation, no dad in the picture...that kind of thing. The kid offered to come by the church and do work, but we don't have anything for them to do. Even if we did have something for them to do, it wouldn't be enough work to justify paying them the amount of money they need for the bill. I considered just writing a check and telling the person who asked me to do it (the kid didn't personally ask me) and having them give the money to them, but I realized that would possibly be opening a door that couldn't be closed. I'm not saying specifically that people would come to me for money, but they might start asking the church for money, and if we helped this kid, why can't we help this other person? Or what happens if the kid can't pay their bill the next time? Would the money fairy need to pull out the checkbook every time?

One one hand, I can afford to give them the money. That isn't the issue. I'm not a stingy person by nature, and money is money and it's going to get spent one way or the other. On the other hand, I can't set a precedent of handing over money for cell phone bills or things like that, especially for kids who might mention it to other kids, or even adults, who have needs and then where will it stop? We tried to think of a solution, of inventing work they could do, but even then, I don't feel there is a good way to do this. If it were something more important than a cell phone bill, I don't know if I'd feel the same way or not.

I realize how awful this makes me sound. I just feel icky about the whole situation. I just don't think any of us giving them money is a good idea. We can't open ourselves up for the kind of problems this could cause. We're working on a solution, but I don't know what we actually should do.

3) Our church caught on fire a little bit last Saturday. 

We had a workday to clean out a bunch of junk that had been accumulating in the unused rooms of our church for the past 25 years. I never thought that so much junk would end up in a place that isn't regularly inhabited! 

Only five people showed up, three men and two women (plus two little kids and two ladies who were cooking for a fundraiser) but we hustled and managed to shovel out the worst of the junk from the basement to the second floor in just a couple of hours. While we were finishing the upstairs, the other woman came back from downstairs and mentioned that she smelled something smoky in the hallway. We'd had a door open on the bottom floor so that we could carry junk outside, so the guy who knows things (he really does, that is not sarcastic) said it might be the heat exchange trying to regulate the heat in that hallway (it was a cold day, so it would have had to work harder) and we figured he was right. I went downstairs and smelled the smoke, too. Granted, my sense of smell is so strong that I can sometimes smell lights turning on, if there is dust on the bulbs, but it was a very obvious electrical burning smell. Still, we couldn't find anything, and me and Amanda looked everywhere we could think of for signs of fire. We even opened the closet where the heat exchanger is and didn't see or smell anything in there.  So we walked into the church lobby. We saw a tiny bit of smoke floating near the ceiling, but because neither of us could see where it was coming from, we thought it was just dust burning off of the heater. 

I know you probably think we are complete idiots, but don't come for my neck, I've never been in a fire before, ok? I smell things all the time. I smell heat, and the ghost of food, and can even smell cold, but we didn't SEE anything other than the smoke, which was such a small amount that it didn't alarm us. So I opened the double doors to let it out so that...get this...it didn't set off the fire alarm. Oy. We went on to do some other things.

I walked into the office to bring some things out we would need for Sunday services, and I just happened to turn my head in the right direction and saw black smoke coming out of one of the air conditioning grates. I honestly didn't know what I was looking at. That sounds crazy, but it wasn't big billows of smoke, it was a black haze coming out of the grate and spreading over the ceiling. My brain didn't register it as even being real at first. I finally yelled out that there was smoke, and the guy (one of our deacons) walked into the closet and realized the exchanger was actually on fire internally. The reason we couldn't see or smell it was because it was enclosed in the housing and the smoke was floating through the ductwork.

We were very lucky that we had people in just the right places to take care of what was happening. The deacon told me to call the fire department (so I got to call 911 for a 5TH! time since starting work here) and he found the extinguisher and put out the active fire, they got the kids outside, and we eventually got everyone out of the building just in time for all of the firemen to show up and make sure all the fire was out.

Amanda and I sat with the kids and kept them occupied and out of the way of everyone, and thankfully the only thing that was damaged was the machine in the closet and some smoke damage in the lobby. It was still rather stressful, but thankfully after the smoke cleared, literally, the damage was minor. I actually felt bad that the firemen came in their whole kit, but I know they had to come and make sure it hadn't spread into the walls or into the second floor.

After that we went home and I didn't let myself think about it very hard until I went to bed, and that's when I realized how badly it could have turned out. The fire happened because a belt broke inside of the machine, and it took three people actively looking, sniffing and being curious to realize it was happening. Ostensibly it happened because the heater had turned on due to the door being open, but since it was a cold day, that would have happened anyway. The ladies cooking downstairs would have been there even if the rest of us hadn't been, so if that fire had started, they wouldn't have known until it was too late, and might have died. The location of the closet where the heater was is perfectly situated that if the fire had gotten bigger, it would have torn up through the cooling system and started burning the second floor, as well as an adjoining room where we keep choir robes.  Also, we had shoveled out a ton of junk from that closet, which would have been great fuel for spreading a fire into something much bigger. I just let myself have a little cry and was very grateful that we were there to catch it before it destroyed the building.

I don't really have a clever way to end this story except I'm really glad our church didn't burn down.

WTF?!

 I found another pair of the gigantic underpants that I didn't know existed!

Where are the coming from?!

THE UNDERPANTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!!

SHORT BLOGGINGS

 1) I can't believe I forgot to mention that while we were in Tennessee, someone (he may have been drunk) mistook Steve for the guy from Pawn Stars. We were checking out at a store and he said "Oh, shit, you're the dude from Pawn Stars! Oh...no you're not...but damn, you look like him! Are you sure you aren't him? Maybe I should get your autograph!"

I don't think Steve has ever been confused with a celebrity before, so he should have taken advantage of it and charged the guy $20 for a photo or something.

2) This week I have learned that grown ass, otherwise professional, men who had overbearing mothers/have overbearing wives will never, ever, be honest with any woman they interact with. They just tell you what they think you want to hear, even if it isn't what they want or need, and then hide from you and go quiet when you have questions that might be a little awkward so they can avoid any unpleasantness that might arise. It's the most infuriating thing, because it doesn't let you get anything accomplished, and I can only assume it's a survival instinct or something. It's really bad when it's obvious that's what is happening, but you can't get them to be clear, and no matter how honestly you tell them that you need to know what needs they have.

I wish there was a way to keep this from happening, especially when you need to know things to accomplish work, or have real questions that need to be answered. Do I need to wear a "I am a safe lady" vest or something? Geez. What a friggin' week.

3) OMG, I had the best, and most random meeting recently! I went with Steve to one of his cybersecurity social meeting things that they have once a month. I honestly don't know why he invited me, and I almost didn't go, but I figured that I should get out of the house a little (I've not been in the best place lately, brain wise.) The meeting was held at a local microbrewery, and while I was standing there feeling awkward and out of place, I suddenly look up to see a familiar face coming over to me.

When I was in high school I had a very close, very awesome friend who I spent tons of time with. He was awesome! We were in the marching band drum line together, and he was one of the most genuinely funny, fun, and nice people I'd ever known, and we were such great friends up until I graduated. In the way that leads on to way, he and I lost touch, but I never forgot about him. I'd seen him maybe three times since 1996, once when I went back to my old high school school for some event, once at his mother's funeral, and once out in the wild at a pizza place a couple of years ago, but there he was at the random microbrewery I was at! I was so glad to see him!

He was with some of his friends and work colleagues, so we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time together, but we did get to catch up and talk, and he is still funny, and nice, and pretty much an all around righteous dude. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I saw him again. What a great coincidence and it made my heart happy!

He's also single and has a dog, ladies, so let me know if you want to meet him. :)

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

 1) Yuck, ya'll, it's such a dark and rainy day! The weather was supposed to get rough at some point, but apparently that didn't happen. Now it's just a slow, constant drizzle that will probably stop when the sun comes out and then get super humid because Alabama is usually a greenhouse from about now until next November. Not only that, but now just walking from the car to/from whatever building I'm currently in allows me to breathe in enough pollen to almost kill me. Spring is beautiful and it's warm, but it makes me feel terrible! 

2) Someone at church stopped me and asked me how I was doing since my surgery. I told them that I was fine, but having some trouble eating enough of the right things because I still get nauseous really easily. (I never know what to say to people who ask about what I had done, because I can't ever tell if they are truly interested, or morbidly curious, but I'm not coy about it.) So this grown ass man says "Well, you know, a lady I worked with had that surgery and all she ate was sweets and she died. You need to be careful so that doesn't happen to you too." I don't generally eat sweets, because they make me feel bad, but I can barely eat things I'm supposed to, so I don't think death by too much cake is what will get me. But, I mean, what a way to go, though, right?

It's bad enough that there are people absolutely disgusted at what I had done, that is hurtful in it's own way, but for people to keep warning me I might die at any moment because of it really sucks. I mean, yeah, I could get run over by a garbage truck at any point, too, but nobody says that to me on a regular basis!

3) Sorry if I seem a bit grumpy. I've been kind of, I dunno...blah...lately. Everything seems beige. I know that doesn't make sense to most of you, but beige is a blah color and everything feels blah. Maybe it's because lately it feels like I don't have a life, I have a routine. 

I'm not saying that because of anything bad happening, but I don't know what to do with myself lately. I work, I (have to) think about what to eat everyday so I apparently don't die or get scurvy, I sometimes work on my house models, and I watch YouTube videos. That's pretty much it. I don't even look forward to anything very often, either, so I feel kind of flat all the time.

I did had one thing this past weekend I was looking forward to, but that didn't really work out like I hoped. I tried to make the best of it for both of us, but I know my friend was preoccupied and had other things to do, so it wasn't their fault. I felt bad for taking up so much of their time. I just think I'm not great company these days. Eh, well. I'll try again at a better time! Onward and upward, right?!

4) We are going to see some of our cousins for dinner this weekend, and Steve and I are going to represent his company at a STEM event Saturday night, so maybe everything will stop being beige and have some colors soon.

5) Sorry for complaining. Maybe I need some endorphins, or serotonin, or cocaine. I'll figure it out! :)

BLOGGED AFTER THE FACT: AN APPALACHIAN ADVENTURE PART IV - FIN

 Monday morning we slept in a bit (or I would have if Steve hadn't been so raring to get the car packed so we could leave.)

We got on the road just a little after 10:00 AM and headed out of Gatlinburg. We only had one place we wanted to stop on the way, and that was Cade's Cove. 

I don't know if you've ever been to Cade's Cove, but it is beautiful. It has a collection of historic homes, churches, and graveyards along an 11 mile loop that you can drive around to see everything. I assume that during it's time it was cleared for farmland and homesteads, and most of that is gone now, but there are big open fields surrounded by mountains and it is just gorgeous. We stopped at a couple of the buildings, and wondered through a graveyard. We also stopped at the visitor's center and saw a working grist mill. Somehow, we spent several hours there. 

Seriously, I'm not sure how we spent so much time! We didn't stop at every cabin, or walk every trail, but somehow we didn't leave there till well after noon, so that when we got on the road in earnest, it felt like it was very late in the day. (Oh, and Anthony got a very passive aggressive little speech from a FORMER Illinois park ranger because he picked up a pine cone on one of the trails and had it in his hand when we got to the car. She was very Delores Umbridge-esque when she told him he'd get in trouble and have to pay a fine. Well, you know what, former park ranger? You can suck it. I'm not sure what happened to that pine cone, but I wish we'd told that lady to stuff it in her cram hole before she walked off.)

Oh, and I've learned that I hate something I didn't know I hated! We saw several old homes and buildings on this trip, and for reasons I will never understand, people go into these historic places and carve their names on the walls, or (like the most recent ones) write their names in Sharpie marker across the logs. I'm sorry, Taylor and Megan, but literally no one needs to know you love each other by reading it on the wall of a historic landmark. I hate when people deface things like that. It makes me want to hit them with a shovel.

ANYWAYS, we finally got back on the road in earnest and headed for home. It felt like it took us a full year to get to where we were going, but we did stop a couple of times for potty breaks and dinner. Oh, and it decided to come a full on flood the darker it got and the closer we got to home. Poor Steve was basically driving blind the last third of the way home. It was very tense!

Make it home we finally did, though, and happy to do so. It was a great trip and I'm glad we got to go!

I bet you're glad to get to the end of this, huh?

BLOGGED AFTER THE FACT: AN APPALACHIAN ADVENTURE PART III

Sunday was our nature day. There was a lot of nature.

Anthony's goal for the day was to go on one of the nearby trails for a hike and see natural beauty and all that stuff. He bought a stick for the purpose and everything! 

(Anthony is a hiker. During the beginning of the pandemic, going on local trails with him was the only way we got to see him for months. Steve also likes hiking, although he doesn't do it much.)

I'm sure you will be shocked to know that I'm not exactly an outdoor type of girl. It's not my fault, really, because when you live where I do, going outside usually ends with me getting hot, dirty, cranky, and allergic to every plant that has leaves, so over the years I've learned to be outside averse. However, I think I would love being outdoors if the climate were completely different, or if I lived near water, or if all mosquitos had been obliterated during the last ice age.

BUT...since we were in a place with beautiful scenery, and it is currently winter, and the bugs would be at a minimum, I put on by borrowed toque, laced up my shoes, and went on a hike. It was actually a lot of fun!  We walked and talked and saw a lot of nice dogs along the way. The trail we took wasn't rough, thank goodness, because I hadn't been prepared to climb or descend anything. It was wide, had been graveled, and was well traveled. It also went right next to the Little Pigeon River almost the entire way, which was beautiful. For some reason, walking next to water is much more enjoyable to me than walking on a trail without water nearby. It wasn't a particularly long trail, just being shy of two miles, but we made it to the Sugarland Visitor's Center, and we turned around and went back. It was a really great way to spend the morning!

After that, we got in the car and Steve drove us through the Smoky Mountain National Park. That was really lovely. It would have been nicer had there been some leaves and stuff, but even with bare trees, the scenery was gorgeous. 

I felt kind of bad for Steve, because he was driving he couldn't look through the windows and enjoy the scenery himself. I could have driven (we were in my car) but apparently my driving scares everyone, and me driving on twisty, mountain roads would not let anyone else enjoy the scenery while they were terrified for their lives. Pffft. 

But seriously, that's probably true.

We drove all around for a long time, stopping here and there to take pictures. We stopped at the Appalachian Trail, where Tennessee and North Carolina meet, and walked for a little bit on that so that Anthony could say he'd walked on it (and to justify getting an AT staff badge for his walking stick. He and I collect them, but I justify getting my badges much more loosely than he does.) We eventually made it to the very edge of Cherokee, North Carolina and stopped at the visitors center there. We had wanted to go onto the Blue Ridge Parkway, but it was closed because of ice and snow that had happened earlier in the week. Eh, well, we enjoyed seeing the elks and the little buildings at the visitor's center and decided that we'd head back into Gatlinburg to try another driving trail that is just off the main street out there. Unfortunately, that trail was closed due to the weather as well.

Now, there is kind of a big blank spot in my memory here and I can't remember what we did at this point. Maybe we went to lunch? Maybe we went back to the hotel? Could be both. I don't know. Shut up, I was tired!

However, I do know that a while later we walked down to the Sugarland's Distillery so that Steve and Anthony could do a moonshine tasting. I can't drink alcohol for another 8 months or so, so I couldn't join in on this one. That was perfectly ok with me, because I did that once on a very hot day, and I ended up sending drunk videos to my family and texting a friend of mine from high school. Moonshine may be legal now, but it's still kind of dangerous in a very different way!

12 different flavors of moonshine in little, plastic communion cups measures out to about 3/4ths of a cup of a very high ABV beverage. (I checked after I did it that one time) so by the time they were done, they were feeling pretty good. We went to dinner after that, and then visited the "faux-dega" where we bought sundries and stuff for our trip home the next day.

It was a long, but very fun day.