What Now

OH, THE HUMANITY....

When I came home from work last Thursday, I noticed a large box on our front stoop. I love when I see boxes on our front stoop, because it either means that something I've ordered had been delivered or that someone has sent a present! (Well, it can also mean that Steve got ANOTHER Han Solo figure he found on Ebay, but I'm going to ignore that fact for the moment.) Anyways, I hadn't ordered anything, so it must have meant it was a present! Yay!

When I retrieved the box, I noticed that it had Steve's name on it (but was much too big to be a Han Solo) so I just sat it on the ottoman in the living room until he could get home from work and open it. Of course, after about half an hour I got curious, and I noticed that it was a box from the Honey Baked Ham place and it was from his boss! Nice! We'd never been mailed meat before! So I figured that if there was meat in the box I needed to go ahead and open it up and put whatever we were sent into the fridge. I removed the (thankfully) still frozen ham and placed it into the refrigerator to thaw.

I'll be honest here and let you know that I didn't pay much attention to the ham, I just put it away. I promise that this is important. Remember it for later.

I thought it was incredibly nice for Steve's boss to send us such a nice gift. Had I known the man better (and not accidentally snubbed him at Steve's Christmas party a couple of weeks ago) I would really have liked to send him a thank you note that happened to mention we were Jewish...but I figured I'd get to know him a bit better before I joked on him about anything. You know, just in case he isn't a very jolly sort of fellow. It usually takes a bit before some people can appreciate my sense of humor, anyways and I don't want to get Steve fired. :)

OK, so Saturday rolls around and I figure that the ham had time to thaw, so Steve and I were going to make sandwiches for lunch out of it. I pulled it out of the ham, which was still vacuum (that's a weird word to type, isn't it? It doesn't look right.) sealed inside it's gold foil packaging. I managed to cut the foil open and I turned the ham out onto a platter. What I had failed to notice when I initially removed the ham from its packing box on Thursday was that the ham was huge. The foil packaging was quite a bit larger than the ham itself, so it seemed much smaller then. I probably should have noticed that the ham was heavy, but I just figured that since it was frozen, it was heavier than normal. Oy. The ham was huge, and now the ham had thawed out. Therefore, we are now in a situation where we have to eat them ham before it goes bad. We have to eat it before it goes bad during a week that is notorious for people shoving food down our faces at various Christmas and other family events. Urg, I feel full just typing that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful about getting this ham, it is delicious and I'm glad we got it. Also, if having too much food is a problem, then things aren't that bad at all, obviously. However, we've just been eating so. much. ham. Had I realized just how big it was to begin with, I would have put it in the freezer and saved it until after the new year or something! I'm also determined that I'm not going to let this ham go to waste! It was my own stupid Kelly Fail and I will not let it ruin this nice gift we got. I will eat as much of it as I can in as many ways as I can! I am determined! I am also full of ham. So very full of ham...

Anyways, so does anyone got any recipes that include ham that you'd like to send me? Please?

So. Much. Ham.