Monday, August 08, 2011


1) I think something is wrong with me.  Not health-wise or anything, but I think I have the mentality of a super-villain.  Yesterday I was sitting in church, of all places, and I caught myself giggling at the thought of having super powers and using them against one of my fellow church members.  I wasn't imagining causing them pain or anything like that, so don't get scared, but I was having a grand old time thinking about causing him psychological distress.  This isn't even a person I dislike, so I'm not sure why the thought of screwing with his mind was so funny to me.  When I say I caught myself doing it, that is the truth.  I was just sitting there, smirking about it, when I realized what I was thinking in the back of my head.  Geez.  It would be bad enough that I could become a super villain, but I certainly wouldn't want my origin story to begin by me causing one of my church family to have a nervous breakdown. 

2)  A cable representative (heh) will be coming by our house today to work on our modem.  We've been having periodic slow-ass connectivity for the past week, and it was driving Steve insane.  We got a recorded message yesterday reminding us of the "appointment," and I use that term loosely.  The message said something to the effect of "Please remember you have an appointment. The cable representative will be arriving sometime between 8:00 am and 7:00 pm so please be available."  Huh...really?  I'm glad they were able to narrow down the times I could expect them.  Otherwise, I might be able to have a productive day or something.  Fun.

3) Speaking of appointments...oy, vey.  Last Thursday, I was expecting the bug man to come by.  I NEEDED him to come by, after finding the giant roaches in the house.  Usually, our bug man comes in the afternoon, so I was thinking it wasn't out of the question for me to have a shower and change before he got there.  The exterminator usually stays outdoors and sprays all the way around the house, so I don't have to move anything inside or clean up the house specially for him.  Usually.  I happened to walk out of the back of the house fairly early on Thursday, in my pajamas, mad hair, and pillow creases still on my face, to see the exterminator walking to the door.  I didn't know what to do, but I figured that if he was going to be outdoors, it wasn't too big of a deal.  Of course, when I opened the door, I found out that he was the termite guy and not the bug sprayer!  He started going over the interior of the house with a flashlight!  I was so embarrassed!  I've been in the process of organizing my office and planning a massive Goodwill dump, so I've got boxes and clothes everywhere.  We already have a clutter problem, so that was already an issue, but it was worse that day.  Plus the bed hadn't been made and since we have a weird shoe migration issue in our bedroom, shoes were everywhere.  I had laundry piled up in the hallway waiting to be washed and laundry in our bedroom waiting to be folded.  I was horrified.  The termite guy didn't say anything, but I was still embarrassed.  I just hope he's seen worse. 

4) I've been helping Sara with her wedding plans and we went to look at a lot of different venues in Huntsville last Wednesday!  It was so much fun! We only got lost two or three times.  Sara blames me, but I'm firmly convinced that her GPS is evil and possessed by a demon with no directional sense.  We saw the event halls at two different museums, a giant house that was especially built for weddings, and my personal favorite place, the Weeden House.  I'm beginning to think that wedding stuff is much cuter than it used to be when I got married.  I mean, dresses are dresses and flowers are flowers, but I like the aesthetic of the more casual, DIY style that a lot of wedding websites show these days.  Even wedding photography is more interesting.  My wedding was beautiful, don't get me wrong, but I really enjoy looking at the things that are currently in vogue these days.  I like weddings, I can't help it.  I can't bring myself to watch any of the TV shows about wedding planning, dress shopping, or bridezillas  (I've already promised Sara a beat down if she wanders into that territory, because I love her, of course) but I love to help plan them! The only thing I will not tolerate that I've seen these days are mustaches on sticks.  I don't care how hipster-trendy they are, they make me want to punch people.  KNOW THIS!

5) I used a chainsaw this past weekend!  That probably doesn't sound very exciting to you, but I've never used one before!  I didn't cut myself or maim Steve, so I consider the experiment to be a success!  We were trying to cut down that blasted holly tree that we can't seem to ever get rid of.  I hate that tree with a vengeance that is only equal to the hatred I feel for the Zombie Crape Myrtle.  We've tried cutting it down and other people have tried cutting it down, but it WILL. NOT. DIE.  To make matters worse, a giant honeysuckle bush grew up through it and it all got tangled up in a big, leafy mess.  The result looks terrible, and I have no doubt that it's only going to come back stronger and more powerful than before, but at least right now you can see out of the guest room window.  Part of me wants to find one of the straighter branches and make a Harry Potter wand out of it.  11 inches long, made of holly...all I need after that is a Phoenix feather.  You can get those online, right?  :)

Have a great week, folks!

1 comment:

Kenny said...

1. My super power would be to escape, really fast!

2. Tell them you are going to pay between the 1st and the 31 of next month.

3. I always ask them this question. The answer is, "Yes. He has."

4. GPS are schizophrenic, and I'm presently working on a hypothesis that they are directly contributing to our nation's economic distress.

5. Yay. And I'm glad. Never do that again. Come on, this is you. Besides, you need to dig up the roots. And shovels are safer, unless you use your superpowers to conk someone on the head with it.

Duck, someone!