Wednesday, November 02, 2011


Yes, my life can be lived in vignettes!  My days have a few notable bits bracketed by long patches of nothing interesting.

1) I have yet to go to the gym this week and I'm feeling both mad at myself because I know I should go and defiant because I shouldn't have to go if I don't wanna!  Harumph!  Monday I didn't go because I was lazy, which is pathetic, but today I didn't go because I think I've borked my knee and I wasn't sure if it would be smart.  I had a tiny bit of knee pain over the weekend, but didn't think much about it because I'm getting old and things just hurt sometimes.  Plus, my knee seemed fine after being off my feet for a while.  Then yesterday I went to the pet store to buy dog food, and knelt down to see the turtles in the bottom layer of tanks and I actually screamed when my knee hit the floor.  Well, screamed the way I do...which sounds like someone stepping on a squeaky toy.  I didn't know if I'd be able to get back up!  It's a bad feeling to be kneeling on the floor of a pet store and wonder if you are going to have to call for assistance to stand back up again.  Seriously, I'm this close to having to wear one of those Life Alert necklace buttons!  I did manage to get up and back home.  The thing is that my knee isn't hurting badly, it just feels like something is stuffed inside my knee.  Like it's swollen inside.  I can't explain it the way it feels, but I know it feels like I have too much knee on one side and it twinges when I bend it too far.  Anyway, I explain all of that to say that I'm not sure if my knee actually has some kind of problem, or if I'm just using that as an excuse to be lazy.  It just seems like it should hurt more if I'm going to use it as an excuse.  Hmmmmm.

2) I bought something neato the other day!  I realize that a lot of people will think it's a dumb thing to own, and I know that my sad little kitchen is already bursting at the seams with my many beloved gadgets, but I was so excited to find one because I've been looking for one like this for over two years!  I got a cotton candy machine!  I know, I know...don't judge me.  I love cotton candy and have wanted a machine for ages, and I know you can find cheap ones everywhere, but I didn't just want a regular one.  The one I wanted was special!  Instead of getting one that only uses the granulated sugar that you pour into the middle, the one I got can utilize both sugar or hard candies and then spins it into cotton candy!  Even though I like the regular sugar kind, making cotton candy out of hard candies is better because the resulting candy floss actually tastes like whatever hard candy you put into it!  See, neato!  I actually found one of these online a couple of years ago, which is where I got interested in buying one, but it was from Japan and cost a lot.  Like, a whole lot.  More than I could justify spending on something I wouldn't use everyday.  I just figured I'd never be able to buy one and left it at that.  However, we did find one in the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath & Beyond, and it wasn't expensive at all and so I grabbed it and ran.  Well, I paid for it first, but...still.

I've had so much fun making cotton candy out of all the weird hard candy we've accumulated.  You can only put in two pieces in at a time, but even those two pieces makes a ton of cotton candy.   I had no idea it took so little. The only problem is that I'm not very good at making it yet.  Well, actually, the machine actually makes the candy, but it takes a practiced hand to twist it around the cones without ruining it.  You have to keep it away from the heat source so it doesn't melt, and you have to be able to spin it to keep it soft instead of turning into crunchy strings.  Also, you have to pay attention to what you're doing, and I'm not so good at that.  I looked away at the wrong time once, and the machine shot cotton candy floss all over the kitchen and all over me.  It was like an incontinent spider sneezed and sprayed the whole room with web strings.  Everything was sticky.  Eventually I'll figure it out. If you want, come on over with a bag of hard candy and we can make a mess together!  :)

3) Speaking of candy...Halloween was on Monday!  I actually forgot to buy any candy for trick-or-treaters, although how I could have forgotten I have no idea. Target practically buries you in it the second you walk into the door.  I just kept thinking I'd get some later, and then the day of snuck up on me, I guess.  I had other things to do than make a Target run, but I figured we already had something to give out if any kids came by.  Sometimes we get a few kids and sometimes we don't, but I thought for sure we'd have some this year since kids actually live in our neighborhood. 

I started to ransack our snack stash (oooh, say that five times fast) and realized that we didn't really have things that kids would like.  Don't get me wrong, we have sweets.  Lots of sweets.  But it isn't normal stuff that you can get anywhere.  I don't tend to buy a lot of candy for myself unless it's an unusual flavor or something that I've never had before.  For example, we have candy from the different nations of Epcot from when we went earlier this year.  Most of it is in different languages, or isn't individually wrapped, or has something like caffeine and hot chili powder in it.  I wouldn't mind giving that out, but I have the feeling that a lot of parents wouldn't let their kids eat something that they couldn't identify.   We have artisan candy with tea, coffee and ginger in it, which I don't imagine kids would like very much, and we have a lot of booze flavored lollypops I got in a bulk bag with some other stuff, and they just don't seem appropriate for kids.  I mean, unless you let your kids have white Russians and bourbon...I don't know your life.

I did find two candy bars, one being a Godiva bar that was white chocolate and therefore an abomination and could be parted with, but this ended up being my original stash of Halloween treats:

Mostly tricks, I think.

Luckily, I realized I had an entire, unopened box of Hershey bars that came with a s'mores kit, and I decided to hand those out instead of vegan protein bars and old Christmas candy!  Of course, after all that, no kids came to our door, so it wasn't even an issue after all. In the end, Steve ate the Godiva bar and no kids went away with weird treats.  It was a win-win for everyone.  :)

4) You know, I've been noticing something lately that really bothers me.  I know it shouldn't bother me, because I don't think there is any malice behind it or anything, but I'm beginning to suspect that I know a lot of people who think I'm stupid.  No one has out right called me stupid, but I have found myself in the position where people seem to feel as if they need to explain simple things to me.  It's a bit insulting, actually, because I'm not stupid!  Is it because I don't have an advanced degree?  I mean, I know a lot of people my age have or are working towards Master's degrees or PhD's but is that a prerequisite to not being treated like an idiot?  I know I come across as being silly a lot of the time, but I have no idea what I'm doing to make people think I don't understand simple concepts.  Honestly, if I don't understand something, I'll ask.  If I don't ask, then I either probably know what is being talked about, or it means I'm going to Google it as soon as I get home!  Oy.

5) Oh, I almost embarrassed myself so very, very badly yesterday.  While I was out running errands, I went into a store to ask about a particular item. (I won't be more specific, since this is about a Christmas present, so pardon the vagueness.)  Anyway, the particular brand of thing I was looking for has an unusual name that, for some reason, my brain gets confused with the name of a particularly gross sexually transmitted disease.  I don't know if this makes much sense, but the words look so much alike that even though I know they are completely different, when I think of the brand, my brain always translates the brand name into the name of the STD.  I always, always have to remind myself to pronounce it right before I say it out loud.  When I went into the store, I came within an ace of asking the salesman if he had an STD rather than asking for the brand of thing I was looking for.  Even though I didn't say it out loud, I was so embarrassed I practically had to run out of the building.


amy said...

So funny about the Christmas present and STD. And take it easy on the knee, because you don't want it to turn into a worse problem! Rest it for a while. I hope it gets better.

I have wanted one of those hard candy cotton candy machines too! Mmm, root beer barrels and root beer cotton candy... yum

amy again said...

Bring the cotton candy machine to Thanksmas!

WV: noneu, like none u business...