AN EXCESS OF RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) For those of you asking about my brother, he did get to go home last Tuesday!  That is a really good thing, because he doesn't sleep very well when he's away from home and my mom won't let anyone else stay the night with him so that she can rest.  Being home is good for both of them.  Thanks for your prayers and concern, because even if I don't know the correct way to express it sometimes, knowing you care means a great deal.

Weirdly, the hospice group that they had dropped them as clients, because Tommy was taken to the hospital. I don't think that's fair, because he was taken to the doctor by direction of the hospice nurse, but they have strange rules. My mom doesn't seem to care much, but I hope she will reapply if she needs to. She is one of those types of women who will do everything on her own and not ask for help, even if it is too much for her.

So, silver lining is that they are home and can rest and be comfortable.  So please continue your prayers and good vibes, as they are still needed!  Thank you!

2) Steve and I have recently been adopted by a group of people who play trivia on Monday nights and it's been lots of fun.  We don't contribute that much, as the other folks there are very smart and have been doing the trivia thing for a long time now.  I don't know if we'd have a single thing in common with these people outside of the trivia setting, well, except for Anthony (they're all his friends) but they're all very nice people. It's still fun to have a thing to do, though, so I'm glad we have been included.  We've gotten first place all but twice every time we've played!

3) I have officially been moved into the "Maintenance" phase of our weight loss program, which means that I no longer have to go to the weekly meetings, just go once and month to be weighed and go to a new kind of class.  Basically, they don't think I'm going to lose anymore weight and so they put me on the program that is supposed to put me in a holding position so as not to gain weight.

I've been left to my own devices and I'm not sure I'm responsible enough to handle it!  As I was telling a friend, I'm the one who screwed up myself in the first place! I can't be responsible for it again!  Ahhhhhhh!  Haha!

I didn't reach the weight loss goal that was set for me, but I have gotten to a place I don't mind sticking to, if I can't lose any more. It's still a process, because I still make poor eating decisions and my weight fluctuates still, but hopefully I won't go back to the way I was, or even get close. I just want to be as fit and healthy as possible without getting weird about it.

4) I've got a question. Are you more or less likely to do a thing when someone asks you to do it as a "personal favor" even if that favor is slightly uncomfortable?  I'm not talking about anything weird, obviously, but, for example, if someone says "Can you do me a personal favor and tell me if I start being a nag?" would you do it? None of us want to be the person who tells a friend that they are nagging, because that sounds mean, but if that person has specifically asked for help recognizing when they're doing it and asked you specifically to tell them (as a personal favor) then would you?

The reason I'm asking is that I'm not sure I'm expressing myself very well when I need something from someone else. As you know, my anxiety levels can be off the charts about certain things, especially personal interactions, and as annoying as it probably is, sometimes I need people to help me understand things outright and not just expect me to know what they mean. Otherwise, the way my brain works, I'm immediately going to assume the worst or most hurtful thing. This is not on purpose, this is literally a weird brain thing I have, so it's not meant to be annoying.

I don't ask for "personal favors" very often, and only from people I know well and interact with a lot, so I was hoping that expressing it that way would be enough for them to know it was something I really needed and not just a throw away comment. Is it not?  If I need someone to let me know something, even if it's not pleasant, how can I ask so that they'll do it?

Oh, and don't worry. I'm not aiming this at anyone specific. Me trying to navigate personal relationships by asking (and sometimes begging) for clarification of things outright, has been going on all of my life. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  Usually it doesn't because people are hesitant to tell me things that might seem harsh or that might be disappointing, even if I've made it clear that I would rather know than not.  My need to know how the land lies is integral for my mental calmness, so I wouldn't ask things if I really didn't want to know, even if the knowledge is hurtful.  Does that make sense?  How can I put it across that I need information so that I'm not sitting up at night wondering if I've made someone mad, or if they aren't telling me because I don't matter, or if I've done something wrong...blah, blah, blah. People just...not...letting me know things has been happening for so many years that I must be doing it wrong. What do I need to do?  Anyone?  Bueller?

5) Anyways, enough about that.  I hope you have a great day!  I HUG YOU! (HUG)