Some of you have already read this. I posted this on my Facebook page because I knew people who I'm friends with there would think it was funny. However, I also felt strange NOT writing about it here, because this is where all the crazy stuff that happens in my life ends up! So I'm posting it here as well, because why not show the rest of the world what a doofus I am!
****
I know I don’t have to tell this story. I know that embarrassing
myself is unnecessary, but I’m going to do it because no matter how I
felt at the end of the day, it was funny.
Yesterday I had an
early appointment and I was in a hurry to get dressed so that I wouldn’t
be late. I grabbed a green dress out of the closet and put it on, only
thinking for a moment that it seemed a bit short, but as I was wearing
hose (don’t judge me) it didn’t seem that concerning.
I went to my meeting,
and on the way in and out I struggled to keep my dress down to hide my
business when the wind blew. I went to Wal-Mart and had the same
problem, but I was shopping, so I didn’t think about it much.
At work, I finally looked at myself in the mirror and realized that my
green dress was a lot shorter than I realized. It wasn’t completely
indecent, but much shorter than I would be wearing if I had more time to
pick my clothes that morning. Every time I’d go into the bathroom, I’d
look at how short my dress was and wonder if it had shrunk in the wash. I
didn’t remember it being that short before.
On the way home I
got gas, and stood in the edge of a busy Huntsville street holding my
dress down in the wind as cars went by. I went inside the store to get a
drink, even.
As I was getting ready for bed and taking the green
dress to put in the hamper, I took one last look and realized that...my
green dress didn’t have pockets. It was also not by the brand that was
on the tag.
You guys, it wasn’t my dress. It was a shirt.
Granted, it was a long shirt, but it was not meant to be worn alone!! I
essentially went out of the house, went to an appointment, went to
Wal-Mart, went to work, only wearing a shirt! I LEFT THE HOUSE NOT
WEARING PANTS.
I knew this day would come, I just thought I’d be older. I need your prayers.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Monday, October 22, 2018
A WHOLE LOT OF RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) Oh, Lord, y'all....I had a very full weekend! I'm not complaining, as I enjoyed everything, but it is Monday morning , and if I could take off all of this week just to recover from the weekend, I would.
2) I spent the night at my mom's house Thursday night so that I could stay with my brother the next day while my mom had a procedure on her eye (thankfully nothing serious, but it involved lasers which is a little scary.) I like my mom's house because it is so clean! She complains about it being messy, but it isn't at all. It's like a vacation from my own house that still hasn't recovered from our wall remodel! Also, she has a shower the size of my whole bathroom, which I fully appreciate.
Tommy is still doing about the same, although he has persistent fevers that none of the doctors or nurses can figure out. They told my mom that she could send him to a hospital and he could be extensively tested on, or she could keep him at home and make sure he's comfortable. She has chosen to keep him at home. He is so incredibly fragile that I am terrified to take care of him in case I hurt him somehow, but we did ok. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses and I let him play "Got Your Nose" with me, because for some reason pinching my nose makes him inordinately happy. That rascal took my nose a hundred times, and in the end refused to give it back, so it's still under his pillow, I guess. He also got me in a bear hug before I left, and even though he is thin and weak, he can still hug like a bear! Hehe.
Of all the things in the world I don't understand, I really don't understand why he, of all people, is going through this kind of hell. I don't even know how to pray about it. I suppose it's one of those "by and by" things I hear so much about, huh?
3) Friday night we went out with some of Steve's coworkers and I'm so glad he works with nice people who like me. We had to set up a tent in the downtown area for a race that was going on the next day, so we headed to downtown proper and went to a local brewery and a new restaurant that had opened up a few months ago. We had a good time, although I think I had more to drink than I should have, i.e. I had two pints of cider instead of just one. I know, I'm a total lush, right? Actually, I misread the ABV info on the cider and I didn't realize until it was too late. Oops. I didn't embarrass myself or do anything stupid, but I was just a little floopy before it was all over.
4) I did wake up in the middle of the night regretting the cider because I was supposed to be running in the race the next day. It was the fifteenth annual Liz Hurley Ribbon Run 5K, which I told you about before (I think.) There were 6,500 registered participants, and I was number 4146! I didn't realize until the day of that the race was going to be timed, so that was fun! Steve works with a woman who is a survivor of breast cancer, and his company got together a group of people to participate in the race. I was excited about it, because I'd wanted to do another 5K, and hadn't been able to find one that really interested me. This was for a good cause and I wouldn't be running alone! I didn't practice very much before the race, which was stupid. I know it's just a 5K, but most people can't just wake up one morning and decide to run that far without doing a little bit of preparation. I kept thinking I'd have more time, but I didn't. Totally my fault. At any rate, I knew I wanted to run as much of it as possible, so that's what I did. Steve was going to walk the whole thing, but I pulled him into the runners area with me and so he didn't have a choice! Haha! It was cold and raining, so it wasn't the best weather for running, but we were ready to go!
Ok, in light of full disclosure, I did walk a lot of the course. I just wasn't fit enough and I run slowly. I like to run, but I'm very bad at it. I don't just mean I'm slow, though. I don't think I run...right? Is that a thing? I feel like I'm stomping the ground instead of smoothly running, and I get out of breath so quickly, but I soldiered on as hard as I could. I did manage to run the fastest mile I've ever run. It was less than I expected, and even with walking, I didn't do too badly time wise. Steve can run faster than me (even though, unfairly, he never walks, runs, or exercises as much as I do...grrr) so when we'd do our running parts he'd get ahead of me and stop to wait. I told him not to, but he insisted, which I know is nice, but I felt bad holding him back. He did decide to leave me on the final stretch, which was fine. He beat me by two minutes almost exactly! I finished at a perfectly average time of about 46 minutes and change, so I was solidly in the middle of the 6,500 people who started out. I'm ok with that, though. I didn't need to be fast, I just wanted to finish before it was all over! I can get better if I want. Like I said, I like running, but I don't think I want it to become my only hobby, so it'll be a process. In the end we were tired, wet, cold and covered in glitter, but we had a good time!
5) Right after the race, and I mean I just had time to change out of my wet shirt before we left again, we went to Steve's band picnic, which was cold, wet and also unfortunately poorly attended. There were less than twenty of us shivering in the pavilion, eating sandwiches and talking, but it was nice. I was really ready to go home, though, because I was so, so, so tired. Everything was hurting by then, and being cold for so long wasn't helping matters. We finally went home and got dry and fell asleep for a while. It was much better when we woke up, but everything still hurt! I'm pretty sure I rattled some bones that hadn't been rattled in a while!
6) Sunday I got someone to cover me on the sound board at night, and Steve, Anthony and I went to do autumnal things in a corn maze and a zombie splatter! I think we were probably too old to do most of the stuff, but we enjoyed getting, literally, lost in the corn maze. We wound up exiting out the way we got in, so I've decided that we are very bad at corn mazes. We also shot a pneumatic corn cannon, which was a little scary, but fun! The zombie splatter was a new thing to me, but it was clearly the most fun. There is a big flatbed on wheels that is rigged with mounted, air powered paint ball guns. Someone on a tractor takes you out into this course with overturned cars and drives through it while people dressed as zombies come at you, so you get to peg then with paint balls! I really hope the actors were well padded, because I shot one of them in the crotch, like, five times. It didn't last nearly long enough, though!
Afterwards we went to a diner and had cake, which was a very nice way to end my weekend!
7) Hope your weekend was just as nice! I HUG YOU! (hug)
2) I spent the night at my mom's house Thursday night so that I could stay with my brother the next day while my mom had a procedure on her eye (thankfully nothing serious, but it involved lasers which is a little scary.) I like my mom's house because it is so clean! She complains about it being messy, but it isn't at all. It's like a vacation from my own house that still hasn't recovered from our wall remodel! Also, she has a shower the size of my whole bathroom, which I fully appreciate.
Tommy is still doing about the same, although he has persistent fevers that none of the doctors or nurses can figure out. They told my mom that she could send him to a hospital and he could be extensively tested on, or she could keep him at home and make sure he's comfortable. She has chosen to keep him at home. He is so incredibly fragile that I am terrified to take care of him in case I hurt him somehow, but we did ok. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses and I let him play "Got Your Nose" with me, because for some reason pinching my nose makes him inordinately happy. That rascal took my nose a hundred times, and in the end refused to give it back, so it's still under his pillow, I guess. He also got me in a bear hug before I left, and even though he is thin and weak, he can still hug like a bear! Hehe.
Of all the things in the world I don't understand, I really don't understand why he, of all people, is going through this kind of hell. I don't even know how to pray about it. I suppose it's one of those "by and by" things I hear so much about, huh?
3) Friday night we went out with some of Steve's coworkers and I'm so glad he works with nice people who like me. We had to set up a tent in the downtown area for a race that was going on the next day, so we headed to downtown proper and went to a local brewery and a new restaurant that had opened up a few months ago. We had a good time, although I think I had more to drink than I should have, i.e. I had two pints of cider instead of just one. I know, I'm a total lush, right? Actually, I misread the ABV info on the cider and I didn't realize until it was too late. Oops. I didn't embarrass myself or do anything stupid, but I was just a little floopy before it was all over.
4) I did wake up in the middle of the night regretting the cider because I was supposed to be running in the race the next day. It was the fifteenth annual Liz Hurley Ribbon Run 5K, which I told you about before (I think.) There were 6,500 registered participants, and I was number 4146! I didn't realize until the day of that the race was going to be timed, so that was fun! Steve works with a woman who is a survivor of breast cancer, and his company got together a group of people to participate in the race. I was excited about it, because I'd wanted to do another 5K, and hadn't been able to find one that really interested me. This was for a good cause and I wouldn't be running alone! I didn't practice very much before the race, which was stupid. I know it's just a 5K, but most people can't just wake up one morning and decide to run that far without doing a little bit of preparation. I kept thinking I'd have more time, but I didn't. Totally my fault. At any rate, I knew I wanted to run as much of it as possible, so that's what I did. Steve was going to walk the whole thing, but I pulled him into the runners area with me and so he didn't have a choice! Haha! It was cold and raining, so it wasn't the best weather for running, but we were ready to go!
Ok, in light of full disclosure, I did walk a lot of the course. I just wasn't fit enough and I run slowly. I like to run, but I'm very bad at it. I don't just mean I'm slow, though. I don't think I run...right? Is that a thing? I feel like I'm stomping the ground instead of smoothly running, and I get out of breath so quickly, but I soldiered on as hard as I could. I did manage to run the fastest mile I've ever run. It was less than I expected, and even with walking, I didn't do too badly time wise. Steve can run faster than me (even though, unfairly, he never walks, runs, or exercises as much as I do...grrr) so when we'd do our running parts he'd get ahead of me and stop to wait. I told him not to, but he insisted, which I know is nice, but I felt bad holding him back. He did decide to leave me on the final stretch, which was fine. He beat me by two minutes almost exactly! I finished at a perfectly average time of about 46 minutes and change, so I was solidly in the middle of the 6,500 people who started out. I'm ok with that, though. I didn't need to be fast, I just wanted to finish before it was all over! I can get better if I want. Like I said, I like running, but I don't think I want it to become my only hobby, so it'll be a process. In the end we were tired, wet, cold and covered in glitter, but we had a good time!
5) Right after the race, and I mean I just had time to change out of my wet shirt before we left again, we went to Steve's band picnic, which was cold, wet and also unfortunately poorly attended. There were less than twenty of us shivering in the pavilion, eating sandwiches and talking, but it was nice. I was really ready to go home, though, because I was so, so, so tired. Everything was hurting by then, and being cold for so long wasn't helping matters. We finally went home and got dry and fell asleep for a while. It was much better when we woke up, but everything still hurt! I'm pretty sure I rattled some bones that hadn't been rattled in a while!
6) Sunday I got someone to cover me on the sound board at night, and Steve, Anthony and I went to do autumnal things in a corn maze and a zombie splatter! I think we were probably too old to do most of the stuff, but we enjoyed getting, literally, lost in the corn maze. We wound up exiting out the way we got in, so I've decided that we are very bad at corn mazes. We also shot a pneumatic corn cannon, which was a little scary, but fun! The zombie splatter was a new thing to me, but it was clearly the most fun. There is a big flatbed on wheels that is rigged with mounted, air powered paint ball guns. Someone on a tractor takes you out into this course with overturned cars and drives through it while people dressed as zombies come at you, so you get to peg then with paint balls! I really hope the actors were well padded, because I shot one of them in the crotch, like, five times. It didn't last nearly long enough, though!
Afterwards we went to a diner and had cake, which was a very nice way to end my weekend!
7) Hope your weekend was just as nice! I HUG YOU! (hug)
Monday, October 15, 2018
I REMEMBERED!
Ha! I remembered the last thing I was going to write about earlier, and while it's not a big deal, the fact that I remembered without, like, a week going by makes me happy and I'm going to write about it anyway! YAY!
Ok, so I've been having the weirdest dreams lately. Most of them are what I think of as "Stress Dreams" which I would categorize as the kind of dreams that are fairly common where people dream they show up to class and realize they have a test and they haven't studied for it, or they have a presentation at work and realize they are unprepared. I don't remember all of them, but the one that sticks out is that I was taken on one of those TV reality baking shows and was told I had to decorate a cake, and I'd be judged on it, but I had no idea how to decorate a cake. Looking back, it's actually kind of funny, because I was standing behind a big white cake and completely panicking because I had no idea what to do. I remember my last thought before waking up was
"Sprinkles! I'll put some f*cking sprinkles on it and nobody will know the difference!"
I'm such a problem solver.
Last night, though, was something else. In my "second sleep" or the time I went back to sleep after being awake for a few hours, I dreamed I was in my bedroom, still in bed (and it was so realistic, which is what made the dream so upsetting) and my sister ran into the room and pointed at the covers and said "OH MY GOD, IT'S GOT A TAIL!" and a lump in the covers started moving towards me and I jumped on it, thinking there was a mouse under it and I didn't want it to bite me. So I'm holding this big, wiggling lump of sheets, pinning it underneath me and trying not to let whatever is under there get away, and then she starts yelling at me because of something to do with mom. I don't remember what it was, but I know I had forgotten to do something for her, or I had failed to realize something that had to do with her, and the whole time I'm holding down this...thing...under the covers and so I couldn't move or get away. I felt so bad for whatever it was I'd done (or not done) and I was panicking because the wiggling vermin under the covers was thrashing around, and it has somehow gotten inside my shirt, but I knew that if I took my hand off of it, it would start running around and I'd lose my mind. I finally got the thing to stop wiggling and I took my hand off of it, and a cockroack the size of an athletic shoe started climbing out of my pajama top, and that's when I woke up in a blind panic, slapping at the front of my shirt and spitting because the dream roach's antenna had gotten into my mouth.
It was awful and took almost a minute before my awake brain took over and I realized I wasn't being infested. I honestly can't understand why I didn't remember this dream earlier to write about it, but in a way I'm glad I didn't because now I've got the heebies pretty badly.
Now, would anyone like to analyze these dreams for me? I'm not sure why I'm having stress dreams, as I don't think I'm particularly stressed, or why I'm dreaming of roaches bigger than my foot! Send help!
Ok, so I've been having the weirdest dreams lately. Most of them are what I think of as "Stress Dreams" which I would categorize as the kind of dreams that are fairly common where people dream they show up to class and realize they have a test and they haven't studied for it, or they have a presentation at work and realize they are unprepared. I don't remember all of them, but the one that sticks out is that I was taken on one of those TV reality baking shows and was told I had to decorate a cake, and I'd be judged on it, but I had no idea how to decorate a cake. Looking back, it's actually kind of funny, because I was standing behind a big white cake and completely panicking because I had no idea what to do. I remember my last thought before waking up was
"Sprinkles! I'll put some f*cking sprinkles on it and nobody will know the difference!"
I'm such a problem solver.
Last night, though, was something else. In my "second sleep" or the time I went back to sleep after being awake for a few hours, I dreamed I was in my bedroom, still in bed (and it was so realistic, which is what made the dream so upsetting) and my sister ran into the room and pointed at the covers and said "OH MY GOD, IT'S GOT A TAIL!" and a lump in the covers started moving towards me and I jumped on it, thinking there was a mouse under it and I didn't want it to bite me. So I'm holding this big, wiggling lump of sheets, pinning it underneath me and trying not to let whatever is under there get away, and then she starts yelling at me because of something to do with mom. I don't remember what it was, but I know I had forgotten to do something for her, or I had failed to realize something that had to do with her, and the whole time I'm holding down this...thing...under the covers and so I couldn't move or get away. I felt so bad for whatever it was I'd done (or not done) and I was panicking because the wiggling vermin under the covers was thrashing around, and it has somehow gotten inside my shirt, but I knew that if I took my hand off of it, it would start running around and I'd lose my mind. I finally got the thing to stop wiggling and I took my hand off of it, and a cockroack the size of an athletic shoe started climbing out of my pajama top, and that's when I woke up in a blind panic, slapping at the front of my shirt and spitting because the dream roach's antenna had gotten into my mouth.
It was awful and took almost a minute before my awake brain took over and I realized I wasn't being infested. I honestly can't understand why I didn't remember this dream earlier to write about it, but in a way I'm glad I didn't because now I've got the heebies pretty badly.
Now, would anyone like to analyze these dreams for me? I'm not sure why I'm having stress dreams, as I don't think I'm particularly stressed, or why I'm dreaming of roaches bigger than my foot! Send help!
MORE RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) I should probably rename this blog "Random Acts of Blogging" shouldn't I? Heehee. I can't help it! This is what being in my head is like. It's all random acts of something!
2) I feel kind of blah. Do you ever have blah days? You don't feel necessarily bad or good, you're just...existing? That's me today. I don't think I've been sleeping well, to be honest. I have a hard time going to sleep, but when I finally do I wake up every morning around 3:00 AM and just stay awake until I fall asleep again a couple of hours later. Then I sleep so hard that I have a difficult time getting out of bed to get to work! It's an odd feeling, this blahness. Eh, well, I'd rather be blah than depressed or sad! Look! There is a silver lining!
3) We went to a "haunted cave" event at Cathedral Caverns on Saturday night and it was fun! I don't know if this is the first time that they held this particular event, but it was really crowded and I was glad to see we weren't the only adults there without kids. We went for Anthony's birthday, which I didn't realize was on Saturday (I am a bad friend.) The haunt itself wasn't really scary. I'd say it was probably on par with your local Jaycee's haunted house staffed with high school kids and what not. Well, except for one tunnel that had been built along the trail that was creepy. I wasn't sure if someone was going to jump out at me and it was very dark, so I closed my eyes and ran face first into a wall, and there was a big, plastic spider, which Steve didn't appreciate, but other than that it was kind of tame. Actually, walking through the cavern was the eeriest part, because it's already so big and quiet. They had a fog machine and red lights going, and I imagine that there must be parts of hell that look a lot like that, but otherwise it was just silly fun! I started to feel bad for the actors along the trail, because they were trying their level best to scare us, so I started to pretend I was scared towards the end so that they didn't feel like they were wasting their time.
There was one guy in our group that kind of killed the mood for all of us from the beginning. I mean, obviously it wasn't going to be terrifying, but he spent the whole walk through the thing being kind of an asshole to the actors. Someone would jump out at him and he was say (loudly) "oh, awesome." and things like that. He was very obviously trying to be the coolest guy in the cave, I guess. At the end we overheard him say "Well, it wasn't scary at all. They'd jump out at me and I'd just laugh or say -insert whatever it was he'd said- and basically I MADE the tour more than any of the actors." Yeah, friend, you made the tour. I'm sure your friends were thrilled being there with you.
4) On Friday night, Steve and I went on an impromptu adventure and drove out to Guntersville to eat at a place called "Crawmama's" which is a kind of just-off-the-lake family seafood place that is only open about three nights a week. Steve had been wanting to try it for a while, but we never could catch it while it was open. I liked it fine, although I'm not crazy about seafood, but it felt like we were eating in someone's garage. A garage filled with wild, non-supervised children. No kidding, there were a plethora (... I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.) of very small, very loud, very unsupervised kids in a sand pit just behind where we were sitting. It added to the ambiance of the place, I guess. The food was good, though, and that is what really matters. I enjoy finding new, local places to eat, so that was fun. We've been trying to go out and find places we've never been before more often. So far, we've found a couple we like! Huntsville is full of places like that, and I never had any idea. Weird.
5) Sunday, after I got back from church, I took off my church shoes and put on a pair of ratty, rubber flip-flops that I've had forever. I tend to wear them around the house to be comfortable, and apparently I was too comfortable because I forgot to take them off and only realized I was still wearing them when I got back for church in the evening. I actually posted a picture of my feet on Instagram, which not unusual, because I thought it was funny. This morning, my coworker came in ans said that he thought someone had posted pornography on Instagram because he saw my legs. Oy. I mean, I know my dress was above my knees, but the guy isn't Amish! Haha! I promise, he doesn't ever have to worry about seeing me naked. I'll do my damndest to make sure that never happens. People pay good money to....I mean, what? Haha. Nooooooooooo thank you please.
6) I feel like there was something else I wanted to talk about, but I can't remember what it was right now. Luckily I can come back at a later date and write it if I remember. If.
2) I feel kind of blah. Do you ever have blah days? You don't feel necessarily bad or good, you're just...existing? That's me today. I don't think I've been sleeping well, to be honest. I have a hard time going to sleep, but when I finally do I wake up every morning around 3:00 AM and just stay awake until I fall asleep again a couple of hours later. Then I sleep so hard that I have a difficult time getting out of bed to get to work! It's an odd feeling, this blahness. Eh, well, I'd rather be blah than depressed or sad! Look! There is a silver lining!
3) We went to a "haunted cave" event at Cathedral Caverns on Saturday night and it was fun! I don't know if this is the first time that they held this particular event, but it was really crowded and I was glad to see we weren't the only adults there without kids. We went for Anthony's birthday, which I didn't realize was on Saturday (I am a bad friend.) The haunt itself wasn't really scary. I'd say it was probably on par with your local Jaycee's haunted house staffed with high school kids and what not. Well, except for one tunnel that had been built along the trail that was creepy. I wasn't sure if someone was going to jump out at me and it was very dark, so I closed my eyes and ran face first into a wall, and there was a big, plastic spider, which Steve didn't appreciate, but other than that it was kind of tame. Actually, walking through the cavern was the eeriest part, because it's already so big and quiet. They had a fog machine and red lights going, and I imagine that there must be parts of hell that look a lot like that, but otherwise it was just silly fun! I started to feel bad for the actors along the trail, because they were trying their level best to scare us, so I started to pretend I was scared towards the end so that they didn't feel like they were wasting their time.
There was one guy in our group that kind of killed the mood for all of us from the beginning. I mean, obviously it wasn't going to be terrifying, but he spent the whole walk through the thing being kind of an asshole to the actors. Someone would jump out at him and he was say (loudly) "oh, awesome." and things like that. He was very obviously trying to be the coolest guy in the cave, I guess. At the end we overheard him say "Well, it wasn't scary at all. They'd jump out at me and I'd just laugh or say -insert whatever it was he'd said- and basically I MADE the tour more than any of the actors." Yeah, friend, you made the tour. I'm sure your friends were thrilled being there with you.
4) On Friday night, Steve and I went on an impromptu adventure and drove out to Guntersville to eat at a place called "Crawmama's" which is a kind of just-off-the-lake family seafood place that is only open about three nights a week. Steve had been wanting to try it for a while, but we never could catch it while it was open. I liked it fine, although I'm not crazy about seafood, but it felt like we were eating in someone's garage. A garage filled with wild, non-supervised children. No kidding, there were a plethora (... I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.) of very small, very loud, very unsupervised kids in a sand pit just behind where we were sitting. It added to the ambiance of the place, I guess. The food was good, though, and that is what really matters. I enjoy finding new, local places to eat, so that was fun. We've been trying to go out and find places we've never been before more often. So far, we've found a couple we like! Huntsville is full of places like that, and I never had any idea. Weird.
5) Sunday, after I got back from church, I took off my church shoes and put on a pair of ratty, rubber flip-flops that I've had forever. I tend to wear them around the house to be comfortable, and apparently I was too comfortable because I forgot to take them off and only realized I was still wearing them when I got back for church in the evening. I actually posted a picture of my feet on Instagram, which not unusual, because I thought it was funny. This morning, my coworker came in ans said that he thought someone had posted pornography on Instagram because he saw my legs. Oy. I mean, I know my dress was above my knees, but the guy isn't Amish! Haha! I promise, he doesn't ever have to worry about seeing me naked. I'll do my damndest to make sure that never happens. People pay good money to....I mean, what? Haha. Nooooooooooo thank you please.
6) I feel like there was something else I wanted to talk about, but I can't remember what it was right now. Luckily I can come back at a later date and write it if I remember. If.
Thursday, October 04, 2018
RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) Taking your sweet time to get undressed and leisurely walk down the hallway to the bathroom to shower is all fun and games until you realize your spouse (who has been remodeling) has removed the blinds from the windows that face the big, glass fronted house that our brand new neighbors just moved into.
So, you know, at this point I can't introduce myself to them. I feel like we are way beyond that now.
Sorry, new neighbors. Usually I wait about a month before I get naked in front of your house. My bad.
2) OK, this is weird. I'm suddenly gaining weight incredibly fast, even though I'm not doing anything much different from what I was doing before. I suppose I might be eating more, but I don't think it can be that much more, and I've been working out pretty regularly. Maybe we've been eating out more often? I dunno, but it seems odd. Good Lord, will all that work even last for a year? I genuinely don't want to be back in the same situation as I was...ever again. *sob*
3) I've started Christmas shopping already, and I know it's too early, but I want to get it finished. Last year we left it til the last minute and it made me hate Christmas.
Don't get me wrong, I love giving people gifts, especially if they are gifts that I think they'll enjoy. However, unless I start in like June or so, I always feel like I'm running out of time. Blerg.
4) Steve and I have signed up to do a race together! Well, we are with a group of people from his work, but I'm excited! I'm not sure why, as it will require me to run, but I am glad to have another chance to do a race and this time I won't be by myself! It's the Liz Hurley Ribbon Run, which is to benefit breast cancer research. Boobs are something I hold close to my heart (rimshot) and I'm all about helping to make sure we help keep them healthy! Specifically, the charity is using the proceeds to purchase 3D tomosynthesis machines to do mammograms. When I had a mammogram earlier this year, I was put in one of those machines and it was weird. It's like they squash your boob into something off of Star Trek and take images. It's a great thing, though, because it takes clear and concise images. Not everyone gets to use them yet because there aren't enough of them, but I got lucky.
Our team is called (Oy, y'all) Wall of Breast Friends - because the woman we are running in honor of has the last name of Wall - if you feel like donating. I'm not asking you to do that, though, but just FYI.
I hope no one makes we wear a tutu.
So, you know, at this point I can't introduce myself to them. I feel like we are way beyond that now.
Sorry, new neighbors. Usually I wait about a month before I get naked in front of your house. My bad.
2) OK, this is weird. I'm suddenly gaining weight incredibly fast, even though I'm not doing anything much different from what I was doing before. I suppose I might be eating more, but I don't think it can be that much more, and I've been working out pretty regularly. Maybe we've been eating out more often? I dunno, but it seems odd. Good Lord, will all that work even last for a year? I genuinely don't want to be back in the same situation as I was...ever again. *sob*
3) I've started Christmas shopping already, and I know it's too early, but I want to get it finished. Last year we left it til the last minute and it made me hate Christmas.
Don't get me wrong, I love giving people gifts, especially if they are gifts that I think they'll enjoy. However, unless I start in like June or so, I always feel like I'm running out of time. Blerg.
4) Steve and I have signed up to do a race together! Well, we are with a group of people from his work, but I'm excited! I'm not sure why, as it will require me to run, but I am glad to have another chance to do a race and this time I won't be by myself! It's the Liz Hurley Ribbon Run, which is to benefit breast cancer research. Boobs are something I hold close to my heart (rimshot) and I'm all about helping to make sure we help keep them healthy! Specifically, the charity is using the proceeds to purchase 3D tomosynthesis machines to do mammograms. When I had a mammogram earlier this year, I was put in one of those machines and it was weird. It's like they squash your boob into something off of Star Trek and take images. It's a great thing, though, because it takes clear and concise images. Not everyone gets to use them yet because there aren't enough of them, but I got lucky.
Our team is called (Oy, y'all) Wall of Breast Friends - because the woman we are running in honor of has the last name of Wall - if you feel like donating. I'm not asking you to do that, though, but just FYI.
I hope no one makes we wear a tutu.
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