Just when I thought I was safe...I clicked on the wrong link:

I tried to explain "Lost" to someone who had never see the show, and it made about as much sense as this did. Amazingly, though, this is as succinct a description as one can get.



Also, Hurley is my boyfriend. :)

WHY A HEALTHIER DIET WILL END UP KILLING ME

I hadn't been feeling very well for most of the day yesterday. I was sleepy, sore, and just feeling yucky. My guess is that it was because of my allergies, or because I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, or maybe because I had overdone it at the gym that morning. I don't know, I just knew that I didn't feel well.

So lunch time comes around, and I wasn't really hungry, but I knew that if I didn't eat something I'd just end up feeling worse later on. I made myself eat the lunch I had brought, and lo and behold, I found a package of Sugar-Free mini Peppermint Patties in my bag. I had bought them so that I would have some not-so-bad-for-me chocolate nearby, and I completely forgot about them. I know, me forgetting about chocolate: it's a sign of the apocalypse, right? Anyways, I wound up eating three of them, which is the serving size, and they were softer than the regular kind and the filling felt cold on my tongue, but they tasted fairly normal so I didn't think anything else about them and I went on with my day. About 30 minutes later, I realized that I was feeling worse than before, but now I wasn't just feeling yucky, I was also dizzy and having trouble breathing! It felt like my throat was all fuzzy on the inside. I knew that it had to have been the stupid candy that caused it because it was the only thing I had eaten that was new to me. It hadn't been a sudden feeling, but once I realized what was going on, it took over my mind. Once it took over my mind, I did what I always do in this situation: I completely panicked.

I'm going to stop here for a moment and explain something about myself that some of you may already know. I'm terrified of suffocating. I'm guessing that it's not a completely irrational fear, or even an uncommon one, but for me it's very bad. It started when I was about 12 when one of my cousins was playing around and he put a pillow over my face and pressed down on it. He was so much bigger than I was that I couldn't push him off, and he had no idea that I really couldn't breathe! I almost passed out. Since then, any time it gets hard to breathe, even just a little bit, I get panicky. That is one of the main reasons I'm so claustrophobic.

So I'm sitting in my office, feeling this fuzzy throat feeling and thinking "I'm going to die. I'm going to stop breathing and die and no one will know that some kind of allergic reaction to something in those stupid peppermint patties is what killed me!" So I got up and walked downstairs, thinking that if I passed out around a lot of people, it would be more likely that someone would call Sickbay (our nurses station). It didn't help the panic much, but the breathing got a little easier. I came back up to our office and finally told my co-workers what was going on in case I really did pass out (which was starting to feel like a possibility) and I went back into my office and sat down. I finally realized that even though I my throat felt kind of fuzzy and swollen, it wasn't the biggest problem. It was more the fact that I was having a panic attack about it that was making it so hard to breathe. I tried to calm down, and it would work for a second or two, but then I'd start to panic again. I finally decided that the best thing I could do was take one of my anxiety pills, which I keep in my purse for emergencies. I knew that if I could calm down, then I could breathe easier. I haven't had to take one in a long time, thank goodness, so I figured that my tolerance for them was down enough so that it would start working quickly.

Well, it did work quickly. Actually, embarrassingly quickly. I took the pill, and about 10 minutes later I started feeling better. About 5 minutes after that, I started to feel sleepy. 5 minutes after that, I'd fallen asleep face down on my drafting table. I can't remember those pills having that affect on me before, but I know I'll be careful when I take them in the future! I actually have no idea how long I was asleep, but I do know that people came in and out of my office, and not one of them shook me or anything to see if I was alive. I told them I was having trouble breathing, and I was face down unconscious on my desk, but no one thought to check for signs of cyanosis or for a pulse or anything! Nice, huh? Maybe I was snoring or moving, I don't know, but I do know I'm going to check into getting a Medic-Alert button up here or something! All's well that ends well, I guess, because I wasn't dead. But if I had been, I would be haunting all of them so hard right now!!!

The truth is, I've had that same reaction to other kinds of low-fat or low calorie foods before, but I haven't been able to pin-point exactly what ingredient my body doesn't like. So far I know to avoid York's Sugar Free Peppermint Patties and Hostess 100 calorie Coffee Cake mini-muffins, but I can't remember the others that caused the same problem. Now I've just got to figure out what they have in common so I can avoid eating it in the future. Stupid diet foods. Trying to be healthy is going to kill me.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) I want to join a something-of-the-month club, but I don't know what kind. I know that sounds a bit silly, but I like getting packages in the mail! Deep down, I'm 12, I can't help it. I have a couple of problems about choosing which kind: a) Most of these are expensive, so if I'm going to do this I want to get something I can use or that I can enjoy. b) I don't need a new jar of jelly every month. c) Cut flowers die quickly and I pretty much have a black thumb when it comes to living plants. d) I'm afraid if I get fruit, most of it will go bad before I got a chance to eat it. So there you go. Anyone got any suggestions?

2) I'm turning into the Graphic Design McGyver at work. I am asked to make a lot of different things,and usually I don't really think much about what it is, I just do it. Yesterday, it dawned on me that the people around here must put a lot of faith into my artistic abilities, because a lot of the time I'm asked to do something, I don't really get directions. Sometimes I don't even get source materials, and I'm expected to recreate something I don't know about, and that I've usually never seen before! Yesterday, for instance, my boss came in holding what looked like a postage stamp in one hand and a photograph that had been blasted with a shotgun in the other. Archives and Exhibits are moving a lot of our large stuff from the main museum over to the Davidson Center, and behind the LEM (the big, shiny, spider-looking-thing that was used to land on the moon) apparently had some kind of schematic or diagram attached to it. Whatever it is, it was really old, and it had gotten ripped so they need it replaced. The postage size piece he had was a random piece of the image, and so I had to puzzle piece it back together. The diagram doesn't have a name on it, or tell where it came from, or even what it is, but they want it recreated! So they brought it to me. I think I have enough of it to almost completely draw a new one, except for where the hole is, and I may just have to wing it. I'm sure whatever NASA guy who originally drew the thing would be so proud. :)

3) So, I'm not sure what's going to happen with the bridge to the Enterprise. Too many people are dragging their feet lately to get anything nailed down. My idea is to have the platform built where the captain and navigators sit mocked up, but if we don't hurry up and get some stuff planned, construction isn't going to have time to make it. :( I just really want it to be awesome, and I'm thwarted at every turn! Curses!

Sniff

I've been sitting at my desk crying for the past ten minutes.

If you look to the right, you'll see a link for a website called "The Adventures of Kaya and Luna," which is a site 'written by' two Great Danes who live in Australia. I found their website by accident a while ago, and I'm sure I've mentioned it here a couple of times. I kind of unofficially adopted them, I suppose. One of their owners is a very talented pet photographer, and her pictures just brought them to life for me, and because the blog is written from the POV of the dogs, I felt like I knew them. I even have a picture of Kaya saved on my computer here at work that I use as my wallpaper, because something about her face always made me smile.

I just went to visit their site today for the first time in few days, and found out that Kaya has passed away because she had inoperable mouth cancer. I feel kind of like I've lost a friend.

I'll miss you, Kaya!

*Shut up. You know how much I love dogs. Now I need to go home and hug my boys.

This morning I was rudely ripped from sleep because "Reveille" began playing loudly out of our alarm clock. Steve thought it would be funny to wake up military style, but I don't think I got the joke.

For about 5 seconds, because I was in CrazyTown, I was terrified that I accidentally joined the Army. I'm not even kidding.

Steve has lost is iPod privileges for one week.

IT WAS INEVITABLE

Saturday night I watched the movie "Twilight" with Steve. I'll go ahead and get this part out of the way and tell you that it was NOT my Netflix choice. I had been successfully avoiding both the movie and the book for quite a while now, even though it's always being talked about on websites that review movies and things of that kind. Before I had even watched the movie, I was convinced that I would hate it. Why? I have no idea. Sometimes I DO judge a book by it's cover and a movie by it's trailer. It's just how I roll. At any rate, usually when I'm convinced that I will hate something, it usually turns out that I like it a lot in the end. Alas, this was not one of those times.

Now, before I tell you why I didn't care for it, and because there are a lot of people who I like a great deal who loved both the book and the movie, let me preface everything with this: I can totally understand the appeal of the story. I get it, really I do! It's a love story that every young girl would love to be in. Undying love, protection, mystery and etc. I even picked up the book and read a little bit of it before I was completely turned off by it. See, I tried! The movie was also beautifully shot, even though the blue filter was overdone quite a bit, but otherwise lovely. I can't even be pretentious and say that I think that anyone who did enjoy either the books or the movie is uncultured or plebeian, because that isn't the case at all. I can also say that if I were 15 years old, I would have dug the hell out of it. I even understand the allure of the cute vampire guy. I mean I can't lie and say I didn't have a poster of Louis Pont du Lac on my wall for a couple of years. Seriously, I get it.

Now, having said all that, allow me to paraphrase a movie I actually liked a great deal to explain my feelings towards "Twilight."

"I hated it... SO MUCH... it was flaming, flames, FLAMES... on the side of my face... heaving breaths, heaving" - if you know what movie that came from, then we can be friends.

1) Bella: I hated the heroine. I hated her. I mean, she moves from a big city to a small town where she is instantly loved and admired by everyone who crosses her path in her new school. Do I hate her for being liked? No. I hate her because she basically brushed off and ignored everyone who was trying to be nice to her, and fixated on the one (1) brooding, emo, spiky-haired pale guy who treated her as if she smelled bad. I get the whole "hard to get" thing, but come on! Then the guy starts following her everywhere and sneaking in to her room to watch her sleep, and it didn't bother her! Yeah, I knew a guy who acted like that when I was her age, I called him a stalker. I'm positive that if he had had access to a car, he would have watched me sleep too. Would that make me all swoony? Heck no! OK, THEN this chick finds out he's a vampire and that doesn't bother her a bit! No, not even after he admits that he'd never wanted to eat anyone as much as he wanted to eat her. Sorry, folks, but that is where I'd be all....Heh, yeah, um....*garlickandstakesallupinyoursparklyface!* Granted, I know what the metaphor was all about, but still, no. Just, no. If that wasn't enough, then we are supposed to understand that she falls so head over heels in love with this guy, that at 17 years old, she's willing to completely give up her entire life (literally) to be with him? Huh? I'm not playing the feminist card at this point, I'm playing the realist card: that is all kinds of screwed up. Think about the person you dated when you were her age, in the throws of high-school love, and then imagine being with them for the rest of eternity. Not just till you die, but forever and ever. You see what I mean? If I did that, I'd be with a guy who not only treated me badly, but who also liked other guys. I'd be the worlds oldest vampire fag-hag! Nice huh? I wanted to punch this girl in the face. She also isn't a good actor. I mean, she reeeeeeeeeally wasn't a good actor.

2) Edward: I liked him better as Cedrick Diggory. He weirded me out with his obsessive/possessive behaviour and his hair needed washing. He did kind of redeem himself for a bit by not letting his girlfriend get hit by a car or get eaten by the mean vampires. He also seemed to be the only person who had sense not to let Bella turn into a vampire. Well, not until later, from what I understand, but at least he says no in this movie. Also, he sparkles. Vampires do not sparkle.

3) Jacob: OK, I liked him. He was cute. Move along.

4) Cullen Family: They're creepy and weird. They were helpful and nice, but they are still sparkly vampires with a strange affinity for baseball. Nice house, though.

5) Everyone else in this movie was kind of insipid, ergo, I won't bother with mentioning them.

So there you go. I actually tried to like this movie, but it made me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork before it was over. If you liked it, great! It just wasn't my cup of tea. It was, however, a first for me in a way. I've never actually cheered for a vampire to eat someone before! I wish he had listened. I hear there will be a sequel. Oy.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

See, see! I'm not crazy! It could happen! BANANAS SPREAD EVIL!

Ugh, now I itch all over.....

I haven't done one of these in a while, so I thought: Why not?

Accent:
It depends on my mood! :) However, my real accent is fairly neutral. Usually when I'm talking to someone who doesn't know me, they ask where I'm from and they can't believe I'm from Alabama because I don't sound like it. Well, unless I'm sleepy, and then it's all kinds of country.

Breakfast or no breakfast:
Breakfast. I've been trying to eat better lately, so it's mainly been cereal or fruit and cheese.

Chore I don’t care for:
Sweeping and mopping. It's so frustrating because no matter how clean the floor is when I'm done, with two dogs and a husband, it doesn't stay clean for very long.

Dog or Cat:
Doggies!

Essential Electronics:
iPod and iPod Touch. I switch out depending on what I'm doing. I'd feel lonely without them.

Favorite Perfume:
Bvlgari: Thé Blanc

Gold or Silver:
Silver

Handbag I carry most often:
My giant red suede one Mr. Lee gave me for Christmas. I always need big purses.

Insomnia:
Sometimes, but I've learned to sort of auto-hypnotize myself into sleep.

Job Title:
Display Graphic Artist, Freelance Artist, All Around Awesome Artist (the last one isn't official)

Kids:
No. Do Not Want.

Living Arrangements:
In a house with my husband and dogs.

Most Admirable Trait:
That's a heck of a thing to ask someone to say about themselves. Hmmmm. I don't know. Someone out there tell me what it is.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior:
I ran in church. Apparently that was a really terrible thing to do. I was always too afraid I'd get in trouble to do very many bad things.

Overnight hospital stays:
None yet (knock wood)

Phobias:
Roaches. The dark. Heights. Not being able to breathe.

Quote:
"I shall pass this way but once; any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show - let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

Reason to smile:
Knowing that it could be a lot worse.

Siblings:
Two: Brother, Tommy (41) Sister, Angie (35)

Time I wake up:
If I'm going to the gym, 4:30 a.m. if not, somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30.

Unusual Talent or Skill:
I can mimic almost anything, voices, sounds or gestures. I hope people don't think that's annoying.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat:
Tomatoes. They are an abomination. Also Cucumbers.

Worst Habit:
Dessert. I can’t quit.

X-rays:
I've had my lungs and my stomach.

Yummy Stuff:
Chocolate, French Fries, Krystals, Ice Cream, Chocolate Chip Cookies

Zoo Animal I Like Most:
Anything in an aquarium.

We had to take Butler to the vet yesterday for his yearly shots and pokes, and as usual, he was less than pleased. Honestly, he doesn't behave nearly has badly as Bear does when he goes to the vet, but he acts so weird that it's almost as bad. He shakes, yawns, and drools all over the place. That probably sounds like normal doggy behavior to you, but it's not normal for our two boys. He also sheds like crazy. I mean, I don't know how he does it, but he can be sitting still and his fur just pops off! When he moves, there is a mound of Yellow Lab fur where he was sitting.

They told us yesterday that he was almost a senior! Can you believe that? It's all madness, I say. He's still a puppy to me. Granted, he's an 83 pound puppy, but he's still a puppy! They also told us they were going to have to start doing special panels on him for certain diseases and disorders that older dogs develop and it made me sad. Now I'm afraid I'm going to look out in the back yard and see he's fallen to pieces or something. :( Otherwise the visit went really well and Butler is very healthy! Yay!

One thing Butler does, as I'm sure all the dogs do when they are there, is sniff around very carefully. Yesterday he was sniffing in a corner and across the wall when he came to a certain spot that was apparently very interesting. He sniffed there for a long time and then very carefully started licking that spot on the wall. I didn't think anything about it, but Steve turned to me and said "The snozzberries taste like snozzberries..." and we cracked up so hard that we scared the dog. I'm fairly sure the people who work there think we are having entirely too much fun while they aren't in there with us.

As for Butler, he seems to be fine and is vaccinated from many nasty things for the next year or so. He does have to go to the doggy dentist soon, which he's afraid of. Last time he went they had to pull one of his big teeth. He said that if they pull any more of them out, he might as well be a cat. I'm not altogether sure what that means, but he seemed to think it was a terrible thing. Bear just thinks it's funny. :)

I like the song "Stars Go Blue" but it makes me feel so sad!

I wonder why.

MORE RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
(I'm starting to sound like a writer with ADD or something.)

Sorry I haven't been writing more. I mean, I KNOW you are suffering from lack of updates on my life and everything! :) Actually, there just hasn't been that much to write about. Everything's been kind of mellow lately. Let's see...what's been going on.

1) Steve and I watched the entire series (so far) of How I Met Your Mother so we could catch up with Anthony, who loves it. It's actually a really good show! I'd forgotten how refreshing it can be to watch a good old sitcom every now and again! It's got the same kind of vibe as "Friends" did, but you rarely want to punch any of these characters in the solar plexus.

2) I talked to Josh the other day and he is doing well. He's on spring break from his religious classes this week. Hmmmm, I wonder what friars do on spring break? I have ideas... :)

3) We are getting our cabinets and counter tops redone sometime soon! Yay! I've had issues with our kitchen cabinets since I moved in, mainly because the latches would stop latching and the doors wouldn't stay closed. Of course, and I didn't find out about it until later, Steve came in and stole one of the latches to keep a door shut someplace else in the house. I almost went crazy slamming that stupid door trying to keep it shut before he told me that the latch wasn't even in there anymore! We have to go and meet with the design lady and tell her what we want, and then we're going to have to tear out our existing cabinets. Anybody want to come over with a sledgehammer and take out some frustrations? :) This will finally give me a reason to clean out all of the old food and stuff that is up there. Don't get grossed out, it's only cabinet food and nothing moldy, but I have a feeling some of it has hidden in corners for almost as long as I've been in the house!

4) I can't seem to get warm today! We had the heat on this morning, and I had two blankets and three pillows over me, but I still didn't get warm. I wish I could type with gloves on. Stupid weird weather!

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) Saturday night Steve was watching Star Wars IV in our bedroom before he went to sleep. I had already dropped off, but he said that after the big Death Star scene, I apparently turned over and muttered "stay on target...stay on target." I'm even a geek in my sleep these days!

2) I almost killed Steve Friday night. With a bra. No, it isn't some kinky story, so don't worry. :) We have a bed with a foot board and a shelf at the end of it, and clothes seem to pile up there until we get a chance to move them to the hamper. Steve was sitting on the bed, and I was standing at the foot of it putting some clothes on the shelf. We were talking and I happened to have a bra in my hand, so when I gesticulated to emphasize a point, the bra flipped up and got caught on the ceiling fan (which was on) and it ripped out of my hand. I wasn't aware that support garments could build up that much speed seeing that they are not exactly aerodynamic. Luckily it missed him, but it hit the wall really hard. That would be an embarrassing story to tell the folks at the emergency room, wouldn't it?

3) Did you know that I have a large, almost completely accidental, and very impressive bottle cap collection? It all started with a Pepsi bottle cap that we found in the wall when Steve cut the doorway out of the living room. That one had to be as old as the house, but it was perfectly clean and everything, and it even had cork on the back of it instead of plastic or rubber. After that, every time I had a new kind of drink that had something interesting on the bottle cap, I'd attach it to a big magnet we have on the side of the fridge. It wasn't anything I thought much about, but it became a habit. When the magnet got covered, I'd take them off and put them in a drawer. The last time I went into that particular drawer, I realized we have dozens and dozens of bottle caps and I am lothe to throw them out! Anyone have ideas on what I can do with them?

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) I've harmed myself at the gym, and I don't know what I did! I noticed on Tuesday that I had what felt like a crick in my neck and shoulder, so it was hard to move my head around much. I took some pain meds and figured it would work itself out. Since I was a baby, I've had a tendency to hold my head over to one side while concentrating, which has caused me to develop compressed disks in my neck in the past. I thought that might have been what was going on, because I spend so much time in front of a computer. However, yesterday morning when I woke up, I hurt from my neck down my right side. I was walking around all hunched up. I ended up staying home from work to use the heating pad and see if I couldn't stretch myself out a bit, and while I was doing that, I realized it wasn't my neck that was the problem. I have a pulled muscle or something weird underneath my right shoulder blade and it's making everything on that side hurt. I don't know how I did it, because at the moment I'm not lifting any weights. Even though I felt better last night, I woke up this morning with everything down to my hip still hurting and these little tingly, stinging pains all around the part of my back that hurts. I think this means I'm going to have to go to a chiropractor, and I don't want to! I have an irrational fear of them. I know that they can help me, and I know that I'll feel better, but I always have this fear that they are going to twist me the wrong way and paralyze me. I think I'm going to have to suck it up, though. Oy vey.

2) I don't usually watch 'The Bachelor' or other humiliating reality show, but since one of the blogs I follow has been doing a re-cap of this season, I've been reading about what happened this time. How humiliating was that? I feel so sorry for the girl who he broke off the engagement with, and I am embarrassed for the girl who went back to him after that. I don't care how much the guy cried, he's a douche. I wish the first girl had punched him in the crotch and taken the ring to a pawn shop. Now THAT is a reality show I could watch! :)

3) Things are picking up with signs here at the SpRocket now that spring is almost here. I just wish everyone who requests them would give me a couple of days advanced warning. My co-workers had to make my signs while I was out yesterday since people are being inconsiderate. I wish I could make rules about that sort of thing, but I can't. Boo.

4) We will be running the new Star Trek movie here at the Sprocket in May and we are getting the Star Wars Exhibit for the museum next year. We've been warned that we can not, under any circumstances, place any advertisements for them next to each other. We can separate them by one other ad, but they can't be side by side. How hilarious is that? I wonder what would happen if we did put them together. It would probably cause a rip in the space time continuum! Silly stuff.

5) I know this is wrong, but I'd totally eat most of this stuff if given a chance. "This Is Why You're Fat."

The March Space Camp Podcast is up! Andrew did a great job animating everything. :) This video is also going to be played on some kind of local, government station here in Huntsville as part of a rotating series of time fillers. That's pretty much all I know about it, though. They are probably using my voice to torture captured terrorists. :)

My segment is on Hydroponics. My Agribusiness teacher would be so proud of me.