Thursday, August 19, 2010



A few entries ago, you might recall that I made a sleep deprived and probably ill advised online purchase. Here was my initial thoughts about it:

"Speaking of impulse buys... I bought something the other day that is both sad and embarrassing. There was a night last week where I couldn't sleep at all and I spent hours on the computer just aimlessly browsing around. I was reading an article on Listverse (I think), and I followed a link to an "As Seen On TV" website. I promise you I wasn't looking to spend money on anything, and if I hadn't gotten to the point that I was getting kind of punchy and floopy because of lack of sleep, I wouldn't have even thought about ordering anything. Also, if the credit card hadn't been nearby, I probably wouldn't have used it either. It was like the universe pooled all of it's forces and tricked me into making this order. I ordered a pair of Pajama Jeans. *SHAME* It was like I was hypnotized! I opened up the link, and the video started playing, and my brain just, I don't know, took a leave of absence. I was like "Wow, they do look comfortable! They look like jeans, but they are made of DormiSoft (TM) fabric! Contrasting top stitching! They DO look like they were designed by some European designer! I need these! I need them now!" So I ordered them. Now that I've had sleep, I'm deeply ashamed of my lack of purchasing control. I have no doubt that they will be kind of cheesy, and probably end up being yoga pants with screen printed yellow stitching down each side, but darn it, I'm going to own my mistake. They haven't gotten to me yet, so I have to reserve complete judgment, but...Pajama Jeans? My hopes aren't that high."

In light of full disclosure, I'll admit that as I waited on them to be mailed to me, I began to anticipate being able to wear them. I mean, who wouldn't love a pair of jeans that were so comfortable that you could sleep in them? At the very least, I figured that I'd finally found a pair of pants that looked enough like jeans that if I had to run a quick errand without changing clothes, I might not end up on the "People of Wal-Mart" website! My main issue was that I wanted to get them for our trip to Texas, because I knew that I'd be sitting in a car for 18 or so hours and I thought that, at the very least, I could get to our destination without suffering the imprint of a GAP button on my lower stomach!

Luckily, I got my package a day or so before we left on our trip! I was excited and immediately got prepared to try them out!

Since you get the official PajamaJean T-Shirt (for free!) I got a whole comfy outfit out of my package!

There was a heather gray shirt and the mythical pair of PajamaJeans! *cue angel chorus*
The shirt was just your normal, albeit well made shirt, so I don't need to tell you about that. The pants, however, are what we are here to talk about!

At first glance, they do indeed look exactly like a pair of slightly flared, dark wash jeans! My favorite! They don't feel like denim, of course, but the DormiSoft (tm) material was thick and soft. I was pleased to see that they were constructed exactly like jeans actually would be, with actual (and not screen printed) top stitching, seams along each side, back pockets, and even rivets. There was even a bit of Trompe l'oeil in the front that gave the illusion of a zipper but without the ouchy button of regular jeans.

In your FACE Levi Strauss!

So far, the infomercial had not overstated anything in regards to the product. I don't know how jeans made my a European designer look, exactly, but sure...why not.

I had ordered according to the sizing chart, and by the measurements, had to get a larger size than what I wish I had needed. I even went and measured my curves one more time to make sure I was ordering correctly. I know that most clothing is not exactly friendly to zaftig, so I wasn't exactly unprepared to see that what sounded like an enormous pair of pants were - by the chart - indeed my size. Boo. I want to make it very clear that the pants -BY THE CHART- were my size, maybe even a tiny bit bigger than I needed, but not by much. That is an important tid-bit.

So I pulled the PajamaJeans on, and they slid right down my hips. Um, ok... So I pulled them back up and they slid down again. I am not too ashamed to tell you that I was confused. Clothes usually are too small on me, not too big. I mean that honestly, I can buy clothes that say on the tag that they are my size...but they don't button, or if they do, you can hear the threads screaming through their effort to keep from splitting off of my body Hulk style. So I looked on the tag again to make sure I didn't accidentally get pants a size too big by accident. No...they were the size I ordered. Huh. Well, I thought about keeping them, but realized that there was no way I could walk around in pants that clearly didn't want to stay up. I mean, I could, but nobody wants to see that. Nobody! So I gathered my long awaited PajamaJeans back up, packed them for returning, and decided I would get the next size down, which - BY THE FREAKING CHART - were a too small for me. I rationalized a return - and not a refund - because I could see potential in the pants. I mean, I didn't know if they'd go from-bed-to-date-night wear like the commercial promised, but I knew they were something I'd be glad to have for traveling or whatever. Even if they were a bit too small, they'd stretch, right?

Skip ahead a few weeks and I got my new pair of PajamaJeans! I didn't bother taking pictures because they looked and felt exactly like the last pair. I even got another gray t-shirt with them! I was immediately worried, because the shirt was too small. It was weird, because the shirt was a size that should have been roomy on me, but it was quite snug. Poop. I took the pants back to my room to try on, with the full expectation that they'd probably cut off my circulation. If the shirt was uncomfortably must the pants be? So I put them on.

They were still too freaking big.

Don't get me wrong, there is NO ONE else in the world who would love to discover that they had woken up 20 pounds lighter without having to have large tumors or limbs removed than me. No. One. Trust me on that. However, I see myself every day and I haven't been going to the gym, so I knew that wasn't the case. I was still the soft and squishy lady I have been. These pants weren't as huge as the last pair, but still...they were too big. I went back to the website and made sure I wasn't wrong about the measurements, but I hadn't been. By all means, the size I got should have been snug, if not downright tight, and they weren't. I decided that these would be OK, because even a bit big they weren't THAT huge, so I decided to go about my day and see how they worked.

The pants are comfortable, I can't fault that. They feel like yoga pants and look like jeans. I was actually comfortable, even though they were too big, for a while. I had to put on shoes, because I kept stepping on the hems, but if you've ever looked at my regular jeans, you know I pretty much walk the hems off anyways. I'm too short for normal and too tall for petite, so I do what I've got to do. Things went fine for a while. I worked on my crafts, I did a bit of laundry, and cooked. Not exactly a very active day, but I didn't have a lot of plans. Everything was going fine except that the pants started sliding down my hips again. At first, I didn't even notice, I'd just hitch them up and go about my business. However, while standing at the spice cabinet, they literally almost fell off. The commercial talks about how they don't stretch like sweat pants do, but that just isn't true. These had stretched alarmingly, and I promise I hadn't been doing calisthenics in them. I thought that if they had belt loops, I might be able to make it through the day, but there were none. I even tried pinning them on the sides, but they material was too thick and all of my safety pins were too small. I finally decided that I needed to just wash them, because sometimes new clothes shrink a bit when they are washed for the first time. The material is 95% cotton and 5% Spandex, so certainly that was it. I even threw them in the dryer, even though it says not to. I simply hoped that drying them wouldn't melt them or anything. It still didn't work. If anything else, they feel as if they've stretched more! Color me a disappointed purple, because I wanted these to be awesome.

Look, I'm not saying these are bad. In fact, I think I'd love them if they actually fit. They look pretty good and they would be wicked comfortable for long flights or car trips in situations where you don't want to actually wear your pajamas. I can't return the ones I have for YET another smaller size because I've already worn, washed, and removed the tags from them. I'm trying to figure out if I can sew them on the sides a bit to take them in, because I'd rather not have wasted the money, but I'm afraid that may be out of my skill level. I won't even tell you not to buy them, because I think you'd like them too, if you got a pair that fit. However, I don't know how you can do that if the sizing chart is that far out of whack. Hopefully I can figure out a way to alter the ones I have so that they fit, but I'm not holding my breath.

I give these 1 thumb down and the other one in the waistband holding up my pants.

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