What Now

OY VEY

While we were hanging out at the motel in Hattiesburg on our way back from Grandma's house, Steve and I were watching "The Fifth Element" on the crappy television set in our room. We probably wouldn't have stopped on that channel except that it was one of the few channels that worked and didn't dissolve into a fizz of snow and what sounded like microphone feedback.

During one of the commercial breaks, the longest and - I swear - most graphic "Male Enhancement Supplement" commercial came on and would not. Go. Off. It was only mildly embarrassing at first, because let's face it, I am uncomfortable watching a commercial of that kind with my father-in-law. As you know, I like to pretend that parents don't know about that kind of stuff, and no one can make me feel differently. Shut up! Don't even try, because I won't listen!!! Had it even been one of the less... descriptive commercials, I probably wouldn't have cared, but it was awful. I looked at Steve and we both made awkward face and waited for the commercial to just be over.

However, the commercial kept on going. It also just got more descriptive. Mr. Lee was on his laptop, so there was hope he wasn't hearing it, but we knew he could hear the TV because he had asked a question about the movie we were watching. The commercial had gone on long enough for me to begin to worry that somehow the dodgy cable had switched channels on us and we had landed in the middle of an infomercial or one of those "Real Sex" documentary shows. Steve and I left awkward behind and cracked up, only we were trying hard not to laugh out loud so that Mr. Lee wouldn't know we were laughing about the commercial.

In reality, the commercial probably didn't last more than 2 minutes, but from my point of view, we might as well have switched on one of the bad, late night Cinemax movies. I'm not kidding, that commercial was...too much.

I'm so glad my father-in-law had enough class not to make a joke. I might have simply died on the spot.