AN UPDATE

I didn't expect to get any answers from my medical tests today, but thankfully they didn't let me leave until they talked to me about what they found. 

Everything is OK.  When they told me that, I almost cried. 

I can't tell you the absolute, pants wetting fear that I've lived through these past weeks. That probably sounds like a bit of an exaggeration, but it is not.  Every moment my brain wasn't fully engaged elsewhere (and sometimes when it was) little thoughts would creep in that would scare me to death.  Not really understanding much about what I might be facing, all I had was worst case scenario ideas to think of.

OK, so what happened is that I found a lump in my breast.  It was sizable and completely new, and I had no idea what kind of thing it could be.  I was going to ignore it and hope it would go away, but that seemed kind of stupid and dangerous of a thing to do. I'd had people in my family with breast cancer and to NOT get checked out felt fairly irresponsible.  So I went to see a guy (I got a boob guy) hoping he could tell me it was nothing to worry about, but he couldn't tell what it was either.  He said he was "pretty sure" it wasn't anything serious, but there were just a few things that kept him from being completely sure, so he sent me to have diagnostic tests done.  Today I was scanned and ultrasounded, prodded and poked, and thankfully what they found couldn't be classified as cancerous. 

I have been so afraid, you guys. Seriously. I'd been practicing how I'd have to tell people I was sick, and wondering how bad it might get if I was. I was considering what kind of plans I'd have to make and Steve and I had many talks about how we'd handle it if it turned out to be cancer. I know that seems extreme, but when you are potentially staring that in the face, it's not easy to be 100% cool about everything. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me.

So thank you for sending me your good vibes and your prayers, and the positive juju magumbo.

My boobs live to fight another day. :)