DUDE...

First off, let me apologize for talking AGAIN about the stupid weight loss program I'm in.  It has temporarily taken over my life and I can't help that.  Also, I don't have anything interesting going on at the moment, so bear with me while I talk about this.

A few weeks ago, I was feeling discouraged about the whole thing.  I mean, like, I went on a mini rant about it to Steve, because it sucks and I'm hungry all the time and I lose weight very slowly.  It was just a moment of pique, because there are weeks where I do everything by the book and lose zero weight and it's irritating.  You understand, right? OK, so I go to the weigh in, find out that my weight hasn't shifted at all, and I do the rant.  I did this privately, to Steve (who has a fat head and is losing weight rapidly because he is a man and biology works differently for men) and I got it out of my system.

I'll pause here to explain that this is usually how I work. Sometimes there are things that stress me out, or make me mad, or even things that concern me for one reason and another and I'll have a moment of rantiness about them.  I just do.  It's not always fun, but I have to get the initial reaction out of my system so that I can think about it rationally.  I'm not completely unreasonable, I just need to have moment of emotion so I can put that part behind me.  You know how it is.

Anyway, so I have this rant. I express, privately, about how much I hate doing the whole thing and about how it isn't working, and blah, blah, blah.  I happened to mention that it sucked that Steve is losing weight so fast (again, I know that's just a way men and women are different) and that it wasn't fair.  I mean, it isn't, but I'll take it up with God one day, because it isn't anything we can do anything about. So I'm discouraged all through that evening's class, but I'm over it by the time it's all over.  No big deal.

We always have this slip of paper we fill out at the end of the class giving feedback about whether or not we thought the class lesson is useful to us, and there are places to write comments. So Steve, God love him, decided to take matters into his own hands.  I know he thought he was helping, so I'll give him credit for that.  In the comment section, he mentioned that it was fine to have these classes when everything was going well, but they don't do much good for the people who may not be doing so well in the program as others. ( I paraphrase, because I didn't read what he wrote and didn't know he wrote any of that until the next week.)

So the next time we go to class, I get stopped in the hallway by one of the lovely, well meaning people who run the program and asked to step into her office.  There she gave me a very special pep-talk about how great I'm doing and how my weight loss is normal, and how there is no way I can compare how I'm doing against Steve because - well, blah, blah, blah.  It was so awkward.  I was completely mystified, because I hadn't said anything to anyone about how frustrated I was, except for Steve.  Y'all...I was so embarrassed.  Steve shouldn't have done that.  It isn't a big deal in the scheme of things, but honestly, I'm capable of having a rant to any number of people if I feel they need to know my opinion about something, but I don't usually do it in front of anyone that A) I don't know and B) who doesn't know me well enough to understand how I work.  I wasn't going to quit the damn program and I wasn't so upset that I was going to go home and eat an entire BBQ chicken (which happened once when I was a teenager, but that's another story.) I was just frustrated.  I wasn't even really frustrated for long, either!

The worst thing is that because of all of this, I seem to have been branded as a hyper-competitive, over-emotional, somewhat troublesome member of this class who has to be treated with kid gloves.  You can tell every time someone talks to me that they're talking to me like they're afraid I'm going to cry.   I have no idea how to let them know that I'm not any of those things!  Nothing I've done or said seems to change their mind.  So not only am I not getting to eat normal, human food, I am apparently a kind of problem child to these people.  I dunno, it sucks, but I only have a few more weeks on the program, so if I have to be this (alleged) delicate princess in their eyes, I guess that's OK.  It's just weird that I can see this happening and can't fix it.  Oy.

Anyways, things are otherwise going fine, if not incredibly slow. I'm doing alright.  Now, if you would, please go and have a burrito or a hamburger for me.  I'm begging you.  Maybe just some fries...  Just send me your mental joy of it, but keep the calories to yourself. :)