What Now

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) When is it best to trust your instincts? Without going into much detail (at least not right now) I had a very strange experience. I was speaking with a new acquaintance, a perfectly nice person who didn't do or say anything strange or anything, and I got the absolute most violent shiver of "I need to get the hell away, right now" feeling that I've had in years. Seriously, it frightened me. There I was, having a conversation, and I wanted to bolt. It wasn't like the claustrophobic feelings I sometimes get when I'm in a closed room, or in the center of a row of chairs, I'm used to that. This was...weird. I was fine one second, and the next, I felt like I was on fire. Literally, it was like the air around me started to shimmer like the air above a fire, I could feel it shake, and on top of that a voice in my head said "I don't want to be here. I want to go...NOW!" It was very specific, very intense, and it scared the hell out of me. I kept control of myself, but it happened two more times. I know how weird that sounds, and I'm not trying to say I had some psychic epiphany that the person I was talking to was a serial killer or anything, but it happened and it worries me. I suppose it could have been anything...some weird hormone surge, a reaction to the medication I had taken for my headache, stress from everything I had going on this week, alien mind control rays...I don't know. All I know is that there was no rational reason at all to feel the way I did, and now I have this sense of dread about seeing this person again. I can't just never speak to this person again either, that isn't an option. It isn't that I don't feel safe with them or think they'll hurt me or be mean to me or anything...it's just this intense feeling, as instinctive as pulling my hand away from a hot stove burner. I tried to explain it to my mother, and I'm fairly certain she thinks I'm crazy. It even sounds crazy to my own ears, but I can't deny the way I felt. I know, weird, right?

2) Speaking of stressful things, I had to go for another sleep study Tuesday night, and it was just as much fun as the last time I was there. This time I was being fitted with a CPAP machine and being tested as to what kind I was going to need. There was no denying that I was going to need one, unfortunately. The results of my last sleep study showed that I would stop breathing anywhere from 20 to 30 times every hour and my blood oxygen levels fell to 68%. To give you an idea where that falls on a scale, people who don't have hypoxia tend to have resting oxygen levels of about 98-100%. My sleep apnea has little to do with snoring and a lot to do with simply not breathing. I had the same technician as last time, which was good, and all the same wires glued to my head and face, which was not good. The only difference this time was that instead of that oxygen tube stuck up my nose, I had a mask vacuum sealed over my nose and a big hose leading to an air compressor. I slept horribly. The beds are so hard and uncomfortable, and I had (I think) 8 wires glued on my head, 8 on my face, 2 on my chest, one on my side, 4 on my legs and an oxygen reader clamped on my finger, which makes it hard to get into a comfortable position. The mask itself was cumbersome, but not as terrible as I thought it would be. It was nice to have air! I still didn't sleep much, though. The next morning, the tech told me that even with the machine, I hold my breath, so they tried a cycle on the machine that would blow air in puffs and then suddenly lower the pressure to force me to exhale. I remember that because it felt like they were sucking the air out of my lungs...I told them I'd rather hold my breath thankyouverymuch. In the end, the tech still didn't know what to do for me, but she said I really needed to have a CPAP to keep my O2 levels up, so I am now the proud owner of a mini air compressor and a mask to sleep in. I've named it HAL. If I can manage to keep it on even half of the night without pulling it off in my sleep, it will be a miracle.

3) Oooh, speaking of things I do in my sleep! Heehee! I have a strange habit of pulling off my socks in the night and stuffing them under my pillow. I don't know when this started, but I've been making the bed and found like, three pairs under my pillow at once. The other night, though, was the funniest. Apparently just stuffing them under my pillow isn't good enough anymore. I woke up holding my socks, and they were folded! I'm now folding laundry in my sleep. If I can just do dishes and go to the gym in my sleep, everything would be gravy!

4) The job interview went well! I think I could do the job fine. I'm not sure I'm the best fit for the position, though. It isn't that I couldn't do it and do it well, but it's not like anything I've done before, really. Well, at least it would be a lot different from what I was doing at the Sprocket (ptooey) but nothing I couldn't handle. We'll see. I don't know how I came across to the people I interviewed with...I felt all awkward and like I was not making sense! Of course, who doesn't feel that way during a job interview? The building where the office is located inside an old, historic mill and it is a really cool place. They kept the original floors and windows, so it's unusual, but still an interesting layout. I am slightly worried that personality wise, I wouldn't fit in there, though. It isn't that the people there are bad or that I'm so dynamic or anything like that, but I just felt like a square peg. Probably just because I don't know them well yet. Just another one of my "feelings" I guess! :) I'm supposed to hear back from them either by the end of this week or the beginning of the next, so I'll keep you guys posted.

5) My cousin Janice and her husband are on a cruise somewhere around Africa, and she's been sending a bunch of us pictures of the places she's been visiting! My traveling foot gets itchy every time she sends us a new batch of images!