Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I can't believe I've forgotten to tell you guys about this!

When Steve and I were in Disney World this past January, we spent almost an entire day at Epcot. We hadn't been able to go into Space Ship Earth earlier, even though it is literally the first ride you come to in the park, because the line was WAY out the door.

This is Space Ship Earth. This is not the Epcot Center. So help me, if you call this thing the Epcot Center I
will hunt you down and beat you to death with a DVD copy of Aladdin.

Well, we spent our day doing Epcot-y stuff, and it was evening when we decided to leave the park and go back to our resort. As we passed by the ride, there wasn't a line, so we went in to do this one last thing before we left. The ride went by as usual, and also as usual, you get dumped out into an arcade/hands on science area at the bottom of the ride. We had just found an exit, when an older woman walked out in front of us. We paused to let her go first, when we heard a kid (a boy probably about 10 or 11) scream. A literal scream with no words in it. It wasn't a scared scream, or a hurt scream, he sounded MAD. I thought he was just playing around, so I didn't get alarmed until I saw that child run after the older woman and PUNCH her right in the center of the back.

Now, imagine yourself to be part of a couple quite clueless about the inner workings of children. To see someone's MeeMaw get assaulted by their (assumed) grandchild in a section of the "Happiest Place on Earth!" is both alarming and confusing. MeeMaws are to be hugged and cherished, not beaten up in the lobby of Space Ship Earth. I wish I could tell you that we immediately ran and saved the lady from the devil's spawn, but actually, we didn't. We stood there with our mouths open. We would suck at being super heroes.

Luckily for this MeeMaw, heretofore called SUPER NAN, didn't need our help. Super Nan somehow reached behind her, grabbed the little bastard by the arm, and snatched him around in front of her.

Steve and I just stood there, staring.

Super Nan, yanked that kid around and got right in his face and yelled "GOD D*MMIT!" and shook him like a rag.

Steve and I just stood there, staring.

In a moment of what I believe was the pre-hulking out of Super Nan, she looked up and into our eyes as if to say "You might want to leave unless you want every illusion you hold about grandmothers to be shattered beyond repair." I think I literally saw her change color and split a seam in her stylish wind suit trousers.

Steve and I ran.

Actually, we sort of scrambled to find a way out, tripping over each other and running into things as we tried to leave that women to administer what I can only assume was the K-Mart Whoopin' of her life. It was so awful. Not the fact that she was obviously spanking her grandchild, because that little rat deserved it and more for punching the woman, but the fact that Steve and I were trying so hard to get away from her that we looked like the KeyStone Cops. We finally managed to find another exit, but before we could escape, we noticed that it wasn't just us that had witnessed the event. Everyone in the arcade was staring at the doorway we had just run away from, and also staring at us because we had been right in front of it when the kid's uppance had come. Right before we made it out the door, a women looked at us and into the now quiet room said "smart move."

I can only hope that Super Nan taught that kid a little about respecting his elders. I only wish she hadn't had to do it in front of us.

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